Title: Because of You
Characters: Siwon, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 2.178
Summary: She's holding on to a past love even though there's so much more for her.
A/N: The song I used for this one is called 'A fleur de toi' by Vitaa. It's a French song, obviously, but I've gotten out my best -dusty- French skills and translated it for the lot of you. If you are French, know this song, read this songfic and think; 'Hey! This translation sucks and it is not right!' Well then that's too bad, because it is how it is. xD
- - - - -
The days pass but it doesn’t matter
I worked so hard to live
Drunk with that scent so different than yours
Worse, I counted every minute that keeps me to him
As if I was my own prisoner
“I’m sorry Siwon. I just..can’t do this anymore.” she says softly, the hurt very clear in her voice, her eyes darting over everything behind him, trying hard not to look at him, just to not have to see the hurt in his expression. She breathes with difficulty as she does her best to keep the tears from running out of her eyes.
It’s not that she doesn’t love him, but it just doesn’t seem right. It seems so empty. Sometimes she finds herself wondering if there might have been a better way, if it might have ended differently when she had just made different choices. She feels imprisoned in her own house.
It’s been a year already since he saved me from you
Often I ask myself where I would be for you
Often I ask myself what you’re doing, where you are, who you love
Get out of my thoughts
“Why not?” he asks and she can hear the hurt in his voice as well, she can hear all the pain, the disappointment, all those bad things she inflicted. Her eyes finally find his again, but it is like she expected it to be, full of hurt and a face that expresses his disappointment. She knows he is unwilling to let her go just like that, but she can’t stay anymore. A sigh escapes her lips.
She doesn’t want to hurt him, but it’s almost impossible not to. Even though it’s been a year already since she has last seen him,he’s still very present in her thoughts. Every day she asks herself what he could be doing and if he is happy. She wonders, but never gets any answers.
I’ve changed my address, my phone number, thank you
I even threw away your letters, your flaws
I pretended to have found the strength
I keep deep within me
Everything you loved me for
“Because of him. I can’t get him out of my head. I know it’s been a year now, but still..” she replies and she knows he hurts more inside. He knows how much she still loves him, he knows that when he is involved, he mostly can’t win. She tries not to see it, but the defeat on his face is obvious. Although she bites her lower lip to keep the tears from running down her cheeks, it is hard, so she looks around, scanning Siwon’s apartment again.
It doesn’t matter that she sold their house, it doesn’t matter that she got rid of everything that reminded her of him, he comes to her at every moment she doesn’t want to see him. He doesn’t let go of her mind anymore and she finds herself still trying to live up to things that he expected from her.
I try to forget you with someone else
Time does not seem to erase your mistakes
I try, but nothing works
I can’t, I don’t want to, I can’t
I don’t love him like I love you
“Haven’t I been good to you? Haven’t I loved you? Haven’t I given you everything you needed?” Siwon wonders out loud, making her choke back a sob. She closes her eyes and nods. “Then why do you want to leave? You shouldn’t give up now. You have come so far already. Please don’t go back to him.” She sighs and opens her eyes again to look at him, but for a moment she sees someone else, she sees him.
It’s terrifying to think that she actually doesn’t even really want to forget him, because even though they had moments where everything seemed to go wrong and where all he did was to make mistakes, there were also moments where every step taken felt so good and right, where everything he did made her feel loved and good.
I try to treat myself with someone else
Who tries in vain to redeem your mistakes
He seems so perfect
But nothing works
I give in, I can’t
I don’t love him like I love you
“It’s just not fair, Siwon. Not fair towards you. I’m not able to love you as much as you love me. I’ll never be able to love you like I loved him.” she whispers and then she breaks down. He is at her side in no time, his arms wrapped around her middle, his hands caressing her back. She breathes in his scent but it is so different, so off. Part of her wants it to be a different scent, to be a different man.
It doesn’t help that Siwon is so perfect, that he tries so hard. It doesn’t help that everything he does makes her feel so loved and respected, because it only reminds her more of how he never did those things. After so much time of having him treat her badly, it is hard to get used to all the loving words and sometimes she wonders if it is worth it.
He, he tried to console me
Although he doesn’t have your words, your history, it’s true
But he doesn’t have your taste for parties, for the night, for the other things
For everything I hate
“It’s alright, sweetie, I know it hurts now, but it will pass like it did every other time. I have told you from the start that I’m alright with you not loving me like you loved him. You know that I just want to be with you. I don’t ask more of you than you can give me. Just be with me.” he tries to calm her down, but she only feels the pain inside of her become worse.
She wants to believe him, but doesn’t think it can be true. How can anyone love another whose head is still filled with someone else? He is there in every corner of her mind and every turn of her head. She can’t get used to being without him. And Siwon is so different, but she can’t love him enough. He’s worth so much more, deserves so much more than she can give him.
He has dried all my tears, you know
He cleaned up your mess
And he took care of everything
Your debts, your cheating, your cancellations
Everything you have left me
“It’s not going to pass, Siwon. It’ll never stop. It’s been one year already and still it is the same. It hasn’t even changed the slightest bit.” she protests as tears run down her cheeks. “I can’t do this to you. Every time you hug me I remember his hugs, every time you kiss me, I remember his kisses, every time you do something, I remember how he did it. How can you be alright with that?” He wipes her tears softly and she remembers how he has always cleaned up the mess that he left.
Siwon had always been there. He had watched for years as she was slowly killed by him. He was her best friend, the one she could tell everything to. Once he was gone, Siwon had immediately taken it up on him to clean her house, take care of the mess, wipe her tears away and gather the broken pieces of what was left of her to mend them back together. She owes him so much.
He loves me like a fool, he knows me by heart
He tells me ‘I love you’ sometimes at random moments
But he doesn’t smell like you do
Why do I breathe you in his arms
Get out of my thoughts
“You know it takes time, sweetie, but you’ll get there eventually. One day you’ll wake up and find that he doesn’t matter anymore. That day will come and you know it. Believe in yourself, because I do.” he says, giving her a kiss on her hair and resting his head on hers. “I love you. I just want you to know and remember that.” Even though he didn’t really answer her question, she still feels like he did. He’ll take anything just because he loves her and he knows that answer is enough for her.
Again she realises that he deserves more than her. He really deserves someone who’d do anything for him. He deserves someone who actually has something to offer him. Unquestioned love, a pure heart, something along the lines of that. Not a battered and broken heart that is hardly capable of loving anyone anymore. If only she could ban him from her mind.
I try to forget you with someone else
Time does not seem to erase your mistakes
I try, but nothing works
I can’t, I don’t want to, I can’t
I don’t love him like I love you
“Why? Why do you love me so much that you take it just like that? Why do you make me feel guilty for not being able to be more for you?” she whispers, but it’s no real complaint anymore, it’s just her incapability speaking. She feels her tears dry, feels her body relax in his arms, feels her heart fill with new courage. When she lifts her head and looks up at him, he gives her a soft peck on the lips, smiling lightly. She can only return the smile.
Once again she questions her reasons for not being able to forget him. Yet she knows why. Even if she wanted to, she can’t say that he never did anything good for her. It’s not like it was always bad and terrible. Even though their love was difficult and brought forth lots of hardships, it also was a very strong love, dark and passionate, and she is now suffering the consequences of that.
I try to treat myself with someone else
Who tries in vain to redeem your mistakes
He seems so perfect
But nothing works
I give in, I can’t
I don’t love him like I love you
“Don’t cry anymore, sweetie. He is not worth your tears. He is not worth all this pain you feel over him.” Siwon whispers to her, running his fingers through her hair and softly caressing her cheek. “He isn’t worth anything coming from you, so don’t give him anything.” She listens to the words, but it takes a while for her to accept them. Part of her still wants to defend him even though she knows he is hardly worth defending, but Siwon knows this and he silences her with a kiss before she can start saying anything. “I love you.”
She realises once again how well he knows her, how much he does for her, how much crap he takes coming from her. She realises that he is so perfect, that he is everything a girl could ask for. He always puts her before himself, always takes care of her first, before tending to himself, and still it doesn’t help. She can’t feel the right amount of love for him.
I don’t love him like I love you
Just tell me why
You stay with me like that
I want to forget you
Take your dreams back and disappear
Because I want to love him like I love you
“I love you too.” she finally mumbles as he picks her up in his arms and carries her towards the couch, where he sits down with her on his lap. She rests her head against his shoulder, her nose softly touching his neck, and wraps her arms around him. He mumbles some sweet words in her ear and strokes her back comfortingly. Another sigh escapes her lips, but this time it is one of relief and contentment.
In the back of her head, he still is there, but she tries her best to push him away, clouding the dark memories of him with happy memories that she and Siwon made throughout the past twelve months. If she could just tell him to take the memories and leave her life for good..but she knows that’s not possible, so she tries her best to make them go away herself, to forget all about him.
I don’t love him like I love you
It’ll be hard for her to make it better, but she has to at least try. She has to do her best for Siwon. She has to try and forget him, because Siwon is right; He is not worth her tears or her pain. As she rests in her boyfriend’s arms, she hides her face away against the soft fabric of his T-shirt and lets herself get calmed down by his heartbeat.
Yet she knows that the next week will bring the exact same discussion again, like what has happened every week up till now, because she simply can’t forget him and Siwon will never be able to make her feel the same he did. She’ll never love Siwon like she loves him.
Thursday 25 August 2011
[FIC] Where'd you go
Title: Where'd you go
Characters: Kibum, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1.518
Summary: He should have known that she wouldn't stay forever.
A/N: This song (Where'd You Go? - Fort Minor) has been stuck in my head for months, nagging at me, begging me to write a story with it. So finally I managed to get this thing out of my fingers. I was in a sad mood when writing, yet I did not cry at all, so I don't know if this is really that sad or not. The blue part of the lyrics is what goes through the guy's head while the story's going on, the red part is things the girl said to him. I did not edit the lyrics of the song, just fit them in between. Please enjoy reading. For people who can't take much sadness, I guess you best get some tissues..? ^^ Rated PG because of the song lyrics only. =)
- - - - -
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
His heart was beating at an unimaginable rate. Every beat pounded loud in his ears and no matter what he did, the world seemed to keep flashing by with insane speed. He pushed his forehead against the cool window and sighed as he closed his eyes.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
He realized he should have expected it from someone like her. She had never been one to show a lot of patience when it came to being unable to do anything, just hanging around in a house. It wasn’t her cup of tea at all. He should have known she would not simply take this life day by day. He remembered clearly that she had told him that ever so often.
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
but I feel like an idiot, working my day around the call,
but when I pick up I don't have much to say,
He had always been gone. Always practicing, performing, filming, going to shows,.. He had always been busy. He had spent less time than ever with her in the past years and it had been unfair towards her. She had known it would be like that from the beginning, but she had still supported him, told him so many times to follow his dream.
That was until he went home less and less, until their conversations existed of nothing but phone calls and e-mails. He had let go of her too much, concentrated on his dream too much. Now he had his dream, but she was gone.
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
telling you that I've had it with you and your career,
me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go”
She had complained to him about it. During one of their many phone calls she had told him her feelings. She had said to him she was growing tired of being ignored day after day. She had said she was tired of waiting for him to call or for him to maybe once come back home to see her.
He had always thought her love for him was enough to keep things lasting, but.. He wasn’t so sure anymore about that. In fact, he was utterly convinced he should have spent more time with her. It was too late now, however.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...
As he felt the ice-cold window cool his head, he also felt the tears starting to come up. He swallowed, pushing the tears back, yet it didn’t help much. No tears touched his cheeks, but the hurt started building up inside him.
His breathing became uneven as he forced himself to hold back the cries. Swallowing was harder every moment and he felt his throat ache from the hurt he was holding back. In his hand, the note she had left was already crumpled into a ball.
“You know the place where you used to live,
used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
but now, you only stop by every once and a while,
He remembered playing around in the backyard as little children, just the two of them. They would play every possible game they could come up with, chasing each other around the block when playing tags.
He remembered good days with her. Hanging around on the couch, lazily watching movies. They would enjoy their time together even though they didn’t do much. Just being together had been enough for them.
He remembered her smile. She would always smile when he visited after a long time. She would approach him with a smile and then hug him and tell him how much she missed him.. Back when he still used to visit often.
Shit, I find myself just filling my time,
with anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doing fine, I’m planning to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
In the last months their phone calls had lessened, become nonexistent. Their e-mailing had faltered as well when his computer broke down and he had no way to get a new one soon.
She had told him in their last few calls that she was doing fine. That she was coping. She had told him she missed him and wanted him to come back, but it had seemed different. He should have realized it didn’t only seem that way, but really was different. If he had just noticed.
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating,
telling you that I've had it with you and your career,
me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go”
Her complaining had lessened with every phone call. More and more she had distanced herself from him and he had never noticed. He had been too caught up in fulfilling his dream, in becoming famous, in acting in great movies. He had put every bit of his energy into his work, so that, whenever he called her, he would mostly be halfway asleep while talking to her.
He had never noticed the damage he had caused her. The damage he had caused their relationship. He had never realized how she had suffered. Until now.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...
He let out a trembling sigh and then breathed in a new gulp of air. His throat hurt even more, feeling like it was being pressed together by invisible hands. He felt like throwing up. He felt like grabbing the nearest thing and throw it against the wall.
Never had he been more regretful for not talking. Never had he been more regretful for being the way he was. He grunted as he turned away from the window and walked towards the phone.
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating,
tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses,
for why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
He should have seen it coming. Someone like her would not sit around and wait like this. Not for anyone. Not even for him. She was proud, strong, willing to fight. She was not one to sit and wait while someone else did everything. He should have known that, if he had just spend more time with her. If he had just thought about her more often.
It seems one thing has been true all along,
you don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
when you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...
But there was no turning things back. The worst had happened and it could not be undone anymore. When going home for a surprise visit he had found that she was gone. He had not noticed the empty spaces where her stuff should normally have been. He had not noticed anything until he burst through their bedroom door, desperate to find her.
He had found her note when he walked towards the bed. He had found the empty space when he opened the wardrobe. He had found the end of his life when he read her words.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...
As he picked up the phone and dialled her number, he gritted his teeth and tried to swallow away the hurt in his chest. He ignored the suffocating feeling he had as he heard the dialling tone repeat itself. Beep after beep sounded, but she never picked up. He knew she wouldn’t. She hadn’t picked up the last fifteen times he called either.
When he was redirected to her voicemail, he listened to her familiar voice. The suffocating feeling increased by tenfold. He drew a deep, trembling breath before opening his mouth to talk.
Please come back home...
The four words she had said to him so often on the phone.
Please come back home...
The four words she had written to him at the end of every e-mail.
Please come back home...
The four words he now spoke into her voicemail for the umpteenth time in the past hour.
Please come back home...
But she did not respond anymore.
Characters: Kibum, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1.518
Summary: He should have known that she wouldn't stay forever.
A/N: This song (Where'd You Go? - Fort Minor) has been stuck in my head for months, nagging at me, begging me to write a story with it. So finally I managed to get this thing out of my fingers. I was in a sad mood when writing, yet I did not cry at all, so I don't know if this is really that sad or not. The blue part of the lyrics is what goes through the guy's head while the story's going on, the red part is things the girl said to him. I did not edit the lyrics of the song, just fit them in between. Please enjoy reading. For people who can't take much sadness, I guess you best get some tissues..? ^^ Rated PG because of the song lyrics only. =)
- - - - -
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
His heart was beating at an unimaginable rate. Every beat pounded loud in his ears and no matter what he did, the world seemed to keep flashing by with insane speed. He pushed his forehead against the cool window and sighed as he closed his eyes.
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
He realized he should have expected it from someone like her. She had never been one to show a lot of patience when it came to being unable to do anything, just hanging around in a house. It wasn’t her cup of tea at all. He should have known she would not simply take this life day by day. He remembered clearly that she had told him that ever so often.
And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
but I feel like an idiot, working my day around the call,
but when I pick up I don't have much to say,
He had always been gone. Always practicing, performing, filming, going to shows,.. He had always been busy. He had spent less time than ever with her in the past years and it had been unfair towards her. She had known it would be like that from the beginning, but she had still supported him, told him so many times to follow his dream.
That was until he went home less and less, until their conversations existed of nothing but phone calls and e-mails. He had let go of her too much, concentrated on his dream too much. Now he had his dream, but she was gone.
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
telling you that I've had it with you and your career,
me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go”
She had complained to him about it. During one of their many phone calls she had told him her feelings. She had said to him she was growing tired of being ignored day after day. She had said she was tired of waiting for him to call or for him to maybe once come back home to see her.
He had always thought her love for him was enough to keep things lasting, but.. He wasn’t so sure anymore about that. In fact, he was utterly convinced he should have spent more time with her. It was too late now, however.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...
As he felt the ice-cold window cool his head, he also felt the tears starting to come up. He swallowed, pushing the tears back, yet it didn’t help much. No tears touched his cheeks, but the hurt started building up inside him.
His breathing became uneven as he forced himself to hold back the cries. Swallowing was harder every moment and he felt his throat ache from the hurt he was holding back. In his hand, the note she had left was already crumpled into a ball.
“You know the place where you used to live,
used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
but now, you only stop by every once and a while,
He remembered playing around in the backyard as little children, just the two of them. They would play every possible game they could come up with, chasing each other around the block when playing tags.
He remembered good days with her. Hanging around on the couch, lazily watching movies. They would enjoy their time together even though they didn’t do much. Just being together had been enough for them.
He remembered her smile. She would always smile when he visited after a long time. She would approach him with a smile and then hug him and tell him how much she missed him.. Back when he still used to visit often.
Shit, I find myself just filling my time,
with anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doing fine, I’m planning to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,
In the last months their phone calls had lessened, become nonexistent. Their e-mailing had faltered as well when his computer broke down and he had no way to get a new one soon.
She had told him in their last few calls that she was doing fine. That she was coping. She had told him she missed him and wanted him to come back, but it had seemed different. He should have realized it didn’t only seem that way, but really was different. If he had just noticed.
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating,
telling you that I've had it with you and your career,
me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go”
Her complaining had lessened with every phone call. More and more she had distanced herself from him and he had never noticed. He had been too caught up in fulfilling his dream, in becoming famous, in acting in great movies. He had put every bit of his energy into his work, so that, whenever he called her, he would mostly be halfway asleep while talking to her.
He had never noticed the damage he had caused her. The damage he had caused their relationship. He had never realized how she had suffered. Until now.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...
He let out a trembling sigh and then breathed in a new gulp of air. His throat hurt even more, feeling like it was being pressed together by invisible hands. He felt like throwing up. He felt like grabbing the nearest thing and throw it against the wall.
Never had he been more regretful for not talking. Never had he been more regretful for being the way he was. He grunted as he turned away from the window and walked towards the phone.
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating,
tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses,
for why you're not around, and feeling so useless,
He should have seen it coming. Someone like her would not sit around and wait like this. Not for anyone. Not even for him. She was proud, strong, willing to fight. She was not one to sit and wait while someone else did everything. He should have known that, if he had just spend more time with her. If he had just thought about her more often.
It seems one thing has been true all along,
you don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
when you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...
But there was no turning things back. The worst had happened and it could not be undone anymore. When going home for a surprise visit he had found that she was gone. He had not noticed the empty spaces where her stuff should normally have been. He had not noticed anything until he burst through their bedroom door, desperate to find her.
He had found her note when he walked towards the bed. He had found the empty space when he opened the wardrobe. He had found the end of his life when he read her words.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...
As he picked up the phone and dialled her number, he gritted his teeth and tried to swallow away the hurt in his chest. He ignored the suffocating feeling he had as he heard the dialling tone repeat itself. Beep after beep sounded, but she never picked up. He knew she wouldn’t. She hadn’t picked up the last fifteen times he called either.
When he was redirected to her voicemail, he listened to her familiar voice. The suffocating feeling increased by tenfold. He drew a deep, trembling breath before opening his mouth to talk.
Please come back home...
The four words she had said to him so often on the phone.
Please come back home...
The four words she had written to him at the end of every e-mail.
Please come back home...
The four words he now spoke into her voicemail for the umpteenth time in the past hour.
Please come back home...
But she did not respond anymore.
[FIC] Falling Slowly
Title: Falling Slowly
Characters: Sungmin, Leeteuk
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.373
Summary: Sungmin doesn't know Leeteuk, but he tries anyway.
A/N: I had Sungmin's version of Falling Slowly stuck in my head for like a WHOLE WEEK. So I had no other choice but to make a little one-shot for it. Yet when I started to write, the storyline went in a whole other direction, but because for me this story is still connected to hours of listening Sungmin sing Falling Slowly. xD If this fic therefore seems to have no connection at all with the title or the song, that's normal. I just had to keep it connected to one another to make it work out for myself. ^^ Enjoy reading and please do comment. ^^
- - - - -
I don’t know you, but I want you all the more for that
Words fall through me, always fool me, and I can't react
And games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice, you've made it now
Falling slowly, sing your melody, I'll sing along
They say we look like best friends, act like best friends, sound like best friends. But what we are in real might just as well be the exact opposite of best friends. Strangers sounds like a nice way to sum it all up. I have worked together with him for quite a lot of years now, but he’s still like a stranger to me. With everything he does, he gives his own reasons to it. Every step he takes has been well thought-out and reconsidered at least five times before he does it. He smiles when it is appropriate to smile, talks when it is needed to talk and stays unnoticed when he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight. Every move he makes is carefully planned into his way of living and everything he does completely makes sense. Why he does things is crystal clear to me. I know his personality like I know my back pocket and I can tell what he will do before he does it. Yet what goes on inside his mind will probably forever remain a mystery to me.
He sometimes comes up to me, telling me that he has something to say to me. I then listen how he talks for ages. He seems to never stop talking once he started. One word after the other comes out of his mouth. Put together they form stories about things that happened to him in his day, but they never reveal anything. He tells his stories like they’re a news reportage, never adding any bit of personal feeling in them.
What he feels, he keeps to himself, unwilling to let others know about it. It leaves me speechless. There are so many things happening to him, yet he never talks to anyone about it. It makes me wonder if he doesn’t need us or if he simply doesn’t want to bother us with what goes on in his head. I worry for him, yet find myself without words whenever I want to ask him about it. It feels like there is something inside me that tells me not to ask him, because I won’t like the answer. So I remain curious, I keep doubting and wondering, but I never get an answer to my wordless questions.
Yet lately it has become a problem. He is depressed. It’s obvious. He doesn’t talk to anyone about it, but his whole being and everything he does simply screams out ‘depression.’ I don’t know what to make of it. I wonder if I should go up to him this time and ask him about it, or if I should just leave it. One way or another he always solves his own problems. Only this time it seems to take much longer than it should do. He has been like this for a few weeks already.
Being depressed over little things, watching romantic movies and crying along with them. He’s really not in the right state of mind to be releasing a fourth album, that’s for sure. Just like now. He has finished watching one of those movies again and he must be wasting his tenth box of tissues this week. I glance at him over the top of my book. He looks really pitiful, like I could break him with the smallest movement ever. Yet I still doubt if I should go up to him or not. In the end, there are enough others around he might be closer to. As I quickly glance around the room, I let out a little sigh. Or not..
In the end, I make my decision and get up, putting the book down on the couch where I just sat. I calmly walk up to him, pulling the tissue out of his hand and leaning towards him. He gives me a surprised look, his face not two centimetres away from mine. I shake my head as I brush the box of tissues aside and sit down next to him.
“Ok, so now you’re going to tell me what’s wrong with you or you’re going to stop acting like a depressed person.” My words seem to surprise him even more than my actions did, and he only stares at me, without responding. “Hyung, I don’t have all day. My book is really interesting, so please do start speaking quickly.”
He closes his mouth, swallows and then just continues staring. I sigh. Alright, so he doesn’t feel like talking. Fine. At least no one can say I didn’t try now. I start to get up again, but he suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me back, making me lose my balance. As I land back on the couch, I find myself lying more on him than on the couch itself. With a little chuckle, I decide this position is fine as well, so I look up at him from his lap.
“I’ll stop acting like a depressed person.” he says, looking down on me with one of those weird stares of his. “But please stay with me for a little while.” I smile up at him.
“Whatever you say, hyung.”
I lie there in silence for a bit, just looking at the ceiling, while he keeps observing me. In the end, curiosity wins over patience and I lock eyes with him again. It seems to surprise him, as he quickly glances away. Another smile pulls up the corners of my mouth.
“Ah, hyung.. What are you being all ashamed about? You never used to be like this.” I happily poke his chin with my finger, only to follow his jaw line up to his cheek afterwards. A little smile breaks through on his face as he turns his head to catch my finger with his lips. I pull it away just in time to avoid that contact and playfully push his nose, chuckling a little again. “You’re too slow, hyung. Are you getting old?” He chuckles as well.
“Or maybe you’re too fast, Minnie. Have you been practicing?” he replies. I get up a little to be able to give him a so called ‘angry’ look. He only laughs, making me smile again as well. “How are you lying here anyway? You look like you’re my girlfriend.”
“Ah, but you pulled me down like this!” I protest. Yet I immediately change my strategy and wrap my arms around his middle. As I look up at him with the cutest look I can manage, I add with a very high-pitched voice: “Would you mind it that much, Leeteuk oppa?”
He stares at me in surprise for a few seconds, before trying to pull free from my grip. Since that doesn’t work, he pushes me on to the ground, but I simply pull him along with me, not wanting to let him get away that easily.
As we fall down on the carpet and roll over once, I still don’t let go of his middle. We end up being stopped by the small table and just remain lying there for a moment in silence. Then I can suddenly hear him laughing softly. His laugh makes me chuckle as well and soon we’re both laughing together. I snuggle closer to him and press my cheek against his chest. After a moment, I can feel his arms around me as well, making me smile.
“I think I would, Minnie, because it would not be nice for the other members that my girlfriend is prettier than any of theirs.” he replies jokingly to my earlier question. I can still hear the smile in his words, but it is what he says itself that makes me chuckle this time. With a satisfied feeling, I take note of my successful attempt of cheering up my hyung. Just in time, for we were running out of tissues.
Characters: Sungmin, Leeteuk
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.373
Summary: Sungmin doesn't know Leeteuk, but he tries anyway.
A/N: I had Sungmin's version of Falling Slowly stuck in my head for like a WHOLE WEEK. So I had no other choice but to make a little one-shot for it. Yet when I started to write, the storyline went in a whole other direction, but because for me this story is still connected to hours of listening Sungmin sing Falling Slowly. xD If this fic therefore seems to have no connection at all with the title or the song, that's normal. I just had to keep it connected to one another to make it work out for myself. ^^ Enjoy reading and please do comment. ^^
- - - - -
I don’t know you, but I want you all the more for that
Words fall through me, always fool me, and I can't react
And games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out
Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you had a choice, you've made it now
Falling slowly, sing your melody, I'll sing along
They say we look like best friends, act like best friends, sound like best friends. But what we are in real might just as well be the exact opposite of best friends. Strangers sounds like a nice way to sum it all up. I have worked together with him for quite a lot of years now, but he’s still like a stranger to me. With everything he does, he gives his own reasons to it. Every step he takes has been well thought-out and reconsidered at least five times before he does it. He smiles when it is appropriate to smile, talks when it is needed to talk and stays unnoticed when he doesn’t want to steal the spotlight. Every move he makes is carefully planned into his way of living and everything he does completely makes sense. Why he does things is crystal clear to me. I know his personality like I know my back pocket and I can tell what he will do before he does it. Yet what goes on inside his mind will probably forever remain a mystery to me.
He sometimes comes up to me, telling me that he has something to say to me. I then listen how he talks for ages. He seems to never stop talking once he started. One word after the other comes out of his mouth. Put together they form stories about things that happened to him in his day, but they never reveal anything. He tells his stories like they’re a news reportage, never adding any bit of personal feeling in them.
What he feels, he keeps to himself, unwilling to let others know about it. It leaves me speechless. There are so many things happening to him, yet he never talks to anyone about it. It makes me wonder if he doesn’t need us or if he simply doesn’t want to bother us with what goes on in his head. I worry for him, yet find myself without words whenever I want to ask him about it. It feels like there is something inside me that tells me not to ask him, because I won’t like the answer. So I remain curious, I keep doubting and wondering, but I never get an answer to my wordless questions.
Yet lately it has become a problem. He is depressed. It’s obvious. He doesn’t talk to anyone about it, but his whole being and everything he does simply screams out ‘depression.’ I don’t know what to make of it. I wonder if I should go up to him this time and ask him about it, or if I should just leave it. One way or another he always solves his own problems. Only this time it seems to take much longer than it should do. He has been like this for a few weeks already.
Being depressed over little things, watching romantic movies and crying along with them. He’s really not in the right state of mind to be releasing a fourth album, that’s for sure. Just like now. He has finished watching one of those movies again and he must be wasting his tenth box of tissues this week. I glance at him over the top of my book. He looks really pitiful, like I could break him with the smallest movement ever. Yet I still doubt if I should go up to him or not. In the end, there are enough others around he might be closer to. As I quickly glance around the room, I let out a little sigh. Or not..
In the end, I make my decision and get up, putting the book down on the couch where I just sat. I calmly walk up to him, pulling the tissue out of his hand and leaning towards him. He gives me a surprised look, his face not two centimetres away from mine. I shake my head as I brush the box of tissues aside and sit down next to him.
“Ok, so now you’re going to tell me what’s wrong with you or you’re going to stop acting like a depressed person.” My words seem to surprise him even more than my actions did, and he only stares at me, without responding. “Hyung, I don’t have all day. My book is really interesting, so please do start speaking quickly.”
He closes his mouth, swallows and then just continues staring. I sigh. Alright, so he doesn’t feel like talking. Fine. At least no one can say I didn’t try now. I start to get up again, but he suddenly grabs my hand and pulls me back, making me lose my balance. As I land back on the couch, I find myself lying more on him than on the couch itself. With a little chuckle, I decide this position is fine as well, so I look up at him from his lap.
“I’ll stop acting like a depressed person.” he says, looking down on me with one of those weird stares of his. “But please stay with me for a little while.” I smile up at him.
“Whatever you say, hyung.”
I lie there in silence for a bit, just looking at the ceiling, while he keeps observing me. In the end, curiosity wins over patience and I lock eyes with him again. It seems to surprise him, as he quickly glances away. Another smile pulls up the corners of my mouth.
“Ah, hyung.. What are you being all ashamed about? You never used to be like this.” I happily poke his chin with my finger, only to follow his jaw line up to his cheek afterwards. A little smile breaks through on his face as he turns his head to catch my finger with his lips. I pull it away just in time to avoid that contact and playfully push his nose, chuckling a little again. “You’re too slow, hyung. Are you getting old?” He chuckles as well.
“Or maybe you’re too fast, Minnie. Have you been practicing?” he replies. I get up a little to be able to give him a so called ‘angry’ look. He only laughs, making me smile again as well. “How are you lying here anyway? You look like you’re my girlfriend.”
“Ah, but you pulled me down like this!” I protest. Yet I immediately change my strategy and wrap my arms around his middle. As I look up at him with the cutest look I can manage, I add with a very high-pitched voice: “Would you mind it that much, Leeteuk oppa?”
He stares at me in surprise for a few seconds, before trying to pull free from my grip. Since that doesn’t work, he pushes me on to the ground, but I simply pull him along with me, not wanting to let him get away that easily.
As we fall down on the carpet and roll over once, I still don’t let go of his middle. We end up being stopped by the small table and just remain lying there for a moment in silence. Then I can suddenly hear him laughing softly. His laugh makes me chuckle as well and soon we’re both laughing together. I snuggle closer to him and press my cheek against his chest. After a moment, I can feel his arms around me as well, making me smile.
“I think I would, Minnie, because it would not be nice for the other members that my girlfriend is prettier than any of theirs.” he replies jokingly to my earlier question. I can still hear the smile in his words, but it is what he says itself that makes me chuckle this time. With a satisfied feeling, I take note of my successful attempt of cheering up my hyung. Just in time, for we were running out of tissues.
[FIC] Life couldn't get better
Title: Life couldn't get better
Characters: Hangeng, Heechul
Rating: G
Wordcount: 468
Summary: Hangeng is convinced to agree to an arranged marriage.
A/N: Another drabble. This one's a sequel to Just My Luck. (Well it's more of a Hangeng POV from the events there.) Everyone who read the first part will already know what's going to happen here, but I hope you still enjoy this. x3 Because everyone told me to write a sequel and my daughter then encouraged me to really do so; here it is. Hope you enjoy. ^.^
- - - - -
I love my parents dearly, don’t misunderstand me, but somehow they got the idea in their head that because I am twenty-six years old now and still haven't found someone that I would like to give my heart to, they should arrange my marriage. Fun! I didn’t think so..
One day my mother took me to the city and told me she wanted new photographs of me. Well it’s my mother, she has strange ideas more often, so I did as she asked me to, but it wasn’t until I got the pictures of my bride-to-be that I found out why that was the case. Well, at least my bride wasn’t ugly, so all I had to hope for was for her to have an okay personality.
After I decided that the girl was pretty, I guessed I could try making it work, because well.. I can’t just disappoint my parents like that. So I passed through 500 stores in one week with my father, trying to find a nice suit, and then got taught a million dances and the whole book of etiquette by my mother in the next week. By the end of the three week period, I was completely styled into the perfect groom.
It was kind of fun, actually, and although I would never admit it to my friends, I enjoyed the idea of settling down with someone, having the possibility to start a family. I could see myself playing around with the toddlers and taking care of them like any good parent would. Yeah, I really think I would be a good father.
That’s why when the day came that I was going to meet my bride, I didn’t feel bad. I had also talked to a girl whose husband had been arranged for her as well and she told me that out of all marriages, the ones that work out best are mostly the arranged ones, because people get into them with no expectations whatsoever and things can only get better than expected that way. So I did exactly that; expect nothing.
The moment my bride-to-be, a twenty-seven year old Korean by the name of Kim Heechul, walked into the room, I was staring at her already. She was pretty. There is no other way to describe it. She was wearing rather boyish clothes, but I thought to myself that I could get used to that if she liked it. We shook hands and she greeted me shortly. It was then that I realised that there was something worse than a pretty but totally egoistic bride.
Apparently my father thought I’m gay.
Apparently Heechul is not a girl.
Please let a hole open beneath me and swallow me right now.
Excerpt from Hangeng's diary - Written August the 26th at 8.43 PM
Characters: Hangeng, Heechul
Rating: G
Wordcount: 468
Summary: Hangeng is convinced to agree to an arranged marriage.
A/N: Another drabble. This one's a sequel to Just My Luck. (Well it's more of a Hangeng POV from the events there.) Everyone who read the first part will already know what's going to happen here, but I hope you still enjoy this. x3 Because everyone told me to write a sequel and my daughter then encouraged me to really do so; here it is. Hope you enjoy. ^.^
- - - - -
I love my parents dearly, don’t misunderstand me, but somehow they got the idea in their head that because I am twenty-six years old now and still haven't found someone that I would like to give my heart to, they should arrange my marriage. Fun! I didn’t think so..
One day my mother took me to the city and told me she wanted new photographs of me. Well it’s my mother, she has strange ideas more often, so I did as she asked me to, but it wasn’t until I got the pictures of my bride-to-be that I found out why that was the case. Well, at least my bride wasn’t ugly, so all I had to hope for was for her to have an okay personality.
After I decided that the girl was pretty, I guessed I could try making it work, because well.. I can’t just disappoint my parents like that. So I passed through 500 stores in one week with my father, trying to find a nice suit, and then got taught a million dances and the whole book of etiquette by my mother in the next week. By the end of the three week period, I was completely styled into the perfect groom.
It was kind of fun, actually, and although I would never admit it to my friends, I enjoyed the idea of settling down with someone, having the possibility to start a family. I could see myself playing around with the toddlers and taking care of them like any good parent would. Yeah, I really think I would be a good father.
That’s why when the day came that I was going to meet my bride, I didn’t feel bad. I had also talked to a girl whose husband had been arranged for her as well and she told me that out of all marriages, the ones that work out best are mostly the arranged ones, because people get into them with no expectations whatsoever and things can only get better than expected that way. So I did exactly that; expect nothing.
The moment my bride-to-be, a twenty-seven year old Korean by the name of Kim Heechul, walked into the room, I was staring at her already. She was pretty. There is no other way to describe it. She was wearing rather boyish clothes, but I thought to myself that I could get used to that if she liked it. We shook hands and she greeted me shortly. It was then that I realised that there was something worse than a pretty but totally egoistic bride.
Apparently my father thought I’m gay.
Apparently Heechul is not a girl.
Please let a hole open beneath me and swallow me right now.
Excerpt from Hangeng's diary - Written August the 26th at 8.43 PM
[FIC] Just my luck
Title: Just my luck
Characters: Heechul, Hangeng
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 352
Summary: Heechul gets pushed into an arranged marriage
A/N: I was over at my granny's for 3 days without internet or computer and I did an awesome amount of writing again. In the middle of all the Itscom chapters, I somehow also managed to write a little drabble that makes no sense whatsoever and was just fun to write. I hope to spread some of my good mood from when I was at my granny's around SJW, to make everywhere a happier place! LoL. (That sounded like a world peace speech..) Anyways, just read and enjoy and let yourself be happy like me. =P
- - - - -
So I don't know what got into my mother, but some three-four weeks ago she decided that because I am twenty-seven years old now and still haven't found someone to spend the rest of my life with, she should arrange me a marriage. Woopie.. Not.
First of all, I got dragged to some photographer to get my pictures taken so that whoever she had chosen for me would be able to admire my good looks. The same was done for me, but I had no interest whatsoever seeing this person, so the pictures sent to me went right into the paper bin.
But then came everything else, because pictures weren't the only thing my mother made me get, of course. She came to me for every little detail about the wedding and I kept sending her away every time again, but she just didn't seem to grasp the fact that 'No, mom, I really am not DYING TO MARRY SOME STRANGER.'
Needless to say that she isn't my best friend anymore, doing all those things to my life without my permission even, but okay. My father isn't of much help either. Not that he helps her destroying my future, but he also doesn't stop her from doing so. Thanks a lot, dad.
Anyway, I tried objecting for like a week or two, maybe three at most, before I finally decided to accept whatever bullshit she had gotten in her head, because hey, it’s my mother.. I got my stubbornness from somewhere, you know? Besides, I figured if I didn't get too much in my mind things could only turn out better for me than expected, which is a good thing, right?
Well, I changed my mind. When I was standing there across from Hangeng, a 26 year old Chinese guy who is supposed to be my together forever, even my expectations of a fat, blind, half-deaf, drooling and incontinent ninety-seven year old lady were better than this..
Apparently my mother thinks I'm gay.
Apparently Hangeng thinks I'm a girl.
FML.
Blogpost by Kim Heechul - Posted August the 26th at 9.43 PM
Characters: Heechul, Hangeng
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 352
Summary: Heechul gets pushed into an arranged marriage
A/N: I was over at my granny's for 3 days without internet or computer and I did an awesome amount of writing again. In the middle of all the Itscom chapters, I somehow also managed to write a little drabble that makes no sense whatsoever and was just fun to write. I hope to spread some of my good mood from when I was at my granny's around SJW, to make everywhere a happier place! LoL. (That sounded like a world peace speech..) Anyways, just read and enjoy and let yourself be happy like me. =P
- - - - -
So I don't know what got into my mother, but some three-four weeks ago she decided that because I am twenty-seven years old now and still haven't found someone to spend the rest of my life with, she should arrange me a marriage. Woopie.. Not.
First of all, I got dragged to some photographer to get my pictures taken so that whoever she had chosen for me would be able to admire my good looks. The same was done for me, but I had no interest whatsoever seeing this person, so the pictures sent to me went right into the paper bin.
But then came everything else, because pictures weren't the only thing my mother made me get, of course. She came to me for every little detail about the wedding and I kept sending her away every time again, but she just didn't seem to grasp the fact that 'No, mom, I really am not DYING TO MARRY SOME STRANGER.'
Needless to say that she isn't my best friend anymore, doing all those things to my life without my permission even, but okay. My father isn't of much help either. Not that he helps her destroying my future, but he also doesn't stop her from doing so. Thanks a lot, dad.
Anyway, I tried objecting for like a week or two, maybe three at most, before I finally decided to accept whatever bullshit she had gotten in her head, because hey, it’s my mother.. I got my stubbornness from somewhere, you know? Besides, I figured if I didn't get too much in my mind things could only turn out better for me than expected, which is a good thing, right?
Well, I changed my mind. When I was standing there across from Hangeng, a 26 year old Chinese guy who is supposed to be my together forever, even my expectations of a fat, blind, half-deaf, drooling and incontinent ninety-seven year old lady were better than this..
Apparently my mother thinks I'm gay.
Apparently Hangeng thinks I'm a girl.
FML.
Blogpost by Kim Heechul - Posted August the 26th at 9.43 PM
[FIC] Grandpa
Title: Grandpa
Characters: Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 845
Summary: He picks her up from the airport after a long leave.
A/N: And here I am with yet another one of my drabbles. x3 When the stress gets too much, I start drabbling I guess. LoL. =P This one's just my futile attempt at writing a good fluff fic. Turns out I'm not that good in fluff. Which also explains why I'm not much for all the loveydovey scenes in my novels. I am more for the endless discussions and arrogant characters I guess? xD -dies- Anyway. Here's the drabble. Hope you enjoy. ^^ Oh, as to why the 'Grandpa'.. I was talking about Yesung being Yeye to my dongsaeng-ah and she asked me if Yeye didn't mean grandfather in Chinese. I have no idea if it does or not, but since then, I'm calling Yesung grandpa. x3
- - - - -
“Grandpa!” the girl calls out, running up to the young man who has been waiting for her. She drops her bag a few paces before reaching him and then flings herself into his arms to hug him tightly. The young man laughs softly, putting his arms around the girl as well and pressing his face in her hair as she holds on to him. He smells the faint scent of spring flowers, a fragrance that always seems to hang around her no matter what season it is, and a genuine smile lights up his expression.
“How have you been?” he asks, not yet letting go of her slim body as this is the first time in months that he is able to hold her. She smiles against his chest and nuzzles her face against his neck.
“Does it matter?” she then wonders out loud, taking in his scent that reminds her of strength, of support, of love and, most of all, of home. She feels how he lets a hand run over her back and closes her eyes to enjoy the feeling all the more. “I’m doing fine now, that’s all that counts.”
He chuckles as he hears her words, letting his cheek rest on her head. A soft sigh can be heard from her, making the smile on his face widen a little. He realises that it feels good to hold her again, to be close to her again, and that he has missed that feeling in the time that she was gone. It’s only now that she’s back, however, that he feels the absence there has been when she wasn’t around. It feels like he has not been whole anymore ever since she left, but that the hole inside of him is now finally filled again.
“I guess that’s true.” he mumbles in reply to what she said before and he closes his eyes as well, unwilling to let the moment pass just yet. He breathes in the smell of spring flowers once again and knows that he doesn’t want to ever let go again.
Yet life isn’t that kind to him, for she pulls away after a few minutes have passed. She doesn’t really want to herself, but has no choice, as people are starting to give them attention. Kind, understanding smiles are flashed their way and elbows are nudged in other people’s side to point out the happy-looking couple in the middle of the airport. It is not that she minds having other people around when hugging him, but she can’t really afford for him to be recognised in the middle of an overcrowded airport, tenderly hugging some random girl.
As she unlocks her arms from around his body, she feels his reluctance in letting go. It brings a smile to her face and she reaches for his hand to intertwine her fingers with his, showing him that she does not want to let go yet either, but has no other choice. She gives his hand a reassuring squeeze as she picks up her bag again and they set off to the exit of the airport. All around them, people are rushing to catch their flights or get a last minute booking done, but neither of them feels like being hasty. Their pace is calm, synchronised and relaxed. Once outside, he gently takes her to a waiting taxi and lets her slide in first. When they’re settled on the backseat, he tells the driver where to go.
She watches how the airport slowly starts moving out of her sight, gazing at it a few moments longer before turning away from the window and giving all her attention to him. He smiles at her the moment their eyes meet, which makes her feel all warm inside. She decides to lay her head down on his lap, cuddling up as close to him as possible on the uncomfortable taxi backseat. She feels how he starts caressing her hair and for a while, a very relaxing silence settles in the car.
“Why do you keep calling me grandpa?” he suddenly asks, letting his fingers run through her hair for the umpteenth time. “It makes me feel old and people give me disapproving glares when you call me that.” He can see her smile because of his words, but she doesn’t respond. He sighs, before ending his complaint with a soft murmur. “It’s so random and weird.”
Apparently, she has heard those words, because she opens her eyes and looks up at him, a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. He can’t help but think how pretty she looks when she smiles at him like that. Slowly, she reaches up a hand to caress his cheek and he eyes her as she lets her eyes wander over his face. In the end, she drops her hand again, shifting a little closer to him as she closes her eyes again.
“That’s exactly why it suits you, oppa.” she mumbles, and he remembers exactly why he has missed her so much in the past months.
Characters: Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 845
Summary: He picks her up from the airport after a long leave.
A/N: And here I am with yet another one of my drabbles. x3 When the stress gets too much, I start drabbling I guess. LoL. =P This one's just my futile attempt at writing a good fluff fic. Turns out I'm not that good in fluff. Which also explains why I'm not much for all the loveydovey scenes in my novels. I am more for the endless discussions and arrogant characters I guess? xD -dies- Anyway. Here's the drabble. Hope you enjoy. ^^ Oh, as to why the 'Grandpa'.. I was talking about Yesung being Yeye to my dongsaeng-ah and she asked me if Yeye didn't mean grandfather in Chinese. I have no idea if it does or not, but since then, I'm calling Yesung grandpa. x3
- - - - -
“Grandpa!” the girl calls out, running up to the young man who has been waiting for her. She drops her bag a few paces before reaching him and then flings herself into his arms to hug him tightly. The young man laughs softly, putting his arms around the girl as well and pressing his face in her hair as she holds on to him. He smells the faint scent of spring flowers, a fragrance that always seems to hang around her no matter what season it is, and a genuine smile lights up his expression.
“How have you been?” he asks, not yet letting go of her slim body as this is the first time in months that he is able to hold her. She smiles against his chest and nuzzles her face against his neck.
“Does it matter?” she then wonders out loud, taking in his scent that reminds her of strength, of support, of love and, most of all, of home. She feels how he lets a hand run over her back and closes her eyes to enjoy the feeling all the more. “I’m doing fine now, that’s all that counts.”
He chuckles as he hears her words, letting his cheek rest on her head. A soft sigh can be heard from her, making the smile on his face widen a little. He realises that it feels good to hold her again, to be close to her again, and that he has missed that feeling in the time that she was gone. It’s only now that she’s back, however, that he feels the absence there has been when she wasn’t around. It feels like he has not been whole anymore ever since she left, but that the hole inside of him is now finally filled again.
“I guess that’s true.” he mumbles in reply to what she said before and he closes his eyes as well, unwilling to let the moment pass just yet. He breathes in the smell of spring flowers once again and knows that he doesn’t want to ever let go again.
Yet life isn’t that kind to him, for she pulls away after a few minutes have passed. She doesn’t really want to herself, but has no choice, as people are starting to give them attention. Kind, understanding smiles are flashed their way and elbows are nudged in other people’s side to point out the happy-looking couple in the middle of the airport. It is not that she minds having other people around when hugging him, but she can’t really afford for him to be recognised in the middle of an overcrowded airport, tenderly hugging some random girl.
As she unlocks her arms from around his body, she feels his reluctance in letting go. It brings a smile to her face and she reaches for his hand to intertwine her fingers with his, showing him that she does not want to let go yet either, but has no other choice. She gives his hand a reassuring squeeze as she picks up her bag again and they set off to the exit of the airport. All around them, people are rushing to catch their flights or get a last minute booking done, but neither of them feels like being hasty. Their pace is calm, synchronised and relaxed. Once outside, he gently takes her to a waiting taxi and lets her slide in first. When they’re settled on the backseat, he tells the driver where to go.
She watches how the airport slowly starts moving out of her sight, gazing at it a few moments longer before turning away from the window and giving all her attention to him. He smiles at her the moment their eyes meet, which makes her feel all warm inside. She decides to lay her head down on his lap, cuddling up as close to him as possible on the uncomfortable taxi backseat. She feels how he starts caressing her hair and for a while, a very relaxing silence settles in the car.
“Why do you keep calling me grandpa?” he suddenly asks, letting his fingers run through her hair for the umpteenth time. “It makes me feel old and people give me disapproving glares when you call me that.” He can see her smile because of his words, but she doesn’t respond. He sighs, before ending his complaint with a soft murmur. “It’s so random and weird.”
Apparently, she has heard those words, because she opens her eyes and looks up at him, a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. He can’t help but think how pretty she looks when she smiles at him like that. Slowly, she reaches up a hand to caress his cheek and he eyes her as she lets her eyes wander over his face. In the end, she drops her hand again, shifting a little closer to him as she closes her eyes again.
“That’s exactly why it suits you, oppa.” she mumbles, and he remembers exactly why he has missed her so much in the past months.
[FIC] Never cry again
Title: Never cry again
Characters: Undefined
Rating: G
Wordcount: 522
Summary: It hurts to see her cry over someone else
A/N: So I was listening to Tell me goodbye by Big Bang over and over while reading someone else's fanfic and suddenly drabble inspiration came to me. I started writing, just randomly spouting the words that entered my mind. And this is what came out of it. A short, nonsensical drabble that holds no real value, but I think it's still a nice, short read. ^^ Putting in names of the persons just wasn't possible for me once again, but the people I was thinking of while writing this are below the story, for those who don't want to have their view on the story messed up by my personal thoughts about the characters.
Hope you enjoy this short drabble.
- - - - -
A big silence hung around them as she stared. Stared at the person in front of her and tried to grasp exactly what he had said. Tried to grasp the meaning of his words as she felt the tears starting to form in her eyes. Tears that would soon wet her cheeks.
He looked back at her, obviously seeing the brimming tears, but doing nothing to stop them. She wished he would just take a step towards her, show her that he still cared, even though the words he said to her were far from nice or loving. She wished he would just go back to being the good friend he used to be. A friend he was supposed to be.
“Yah.. So.. I’ll be going then.” was all he said, however, turning around and walking away. She followed his retreat with her eyes, unable to move, unable to grasp the truth behind her words. Her body felt like she would lose control over it soon and she expected her legs to buckle out from underneath her any moment now.. And indeed they did.
She felt herself go limp and her view slowly tilted over. She could see the ground coming closer bit by bit, but before the thud of hitting rock bottom could register in her mind, something -or better someone- stopped her fall. Strong arms pulled her back on her feet and her face was pressed against the soft fabric of a T-shirt. She suddenly noticed that the tears were already making their way down over her cheeks and the first sob made her body shock.
Comforting hands wiped the tears from her face and tucked her hair behind her ears, her back was being stroked in a very relaxing way and a calming voice mumbled soft nothings in her ear to make her stop crying, but her body did not respond to any of it. As her tears kept running, she found herself wondering about the smell the T-shirt she was leaning against had and how it faintly reminded her of lavender in the afternoon sun.
Slowly her tears came to an end and her sobbing turned into occasional sniffing, until it completely died away. She felt her heartbeat calm down as she slowly lifted her head to look up at whoever it was that was standing with her. The first thing she noticed was how close he actually was standing and how reassuring his arms around her really felt. A little smile pulled up the corners of his mouth and she could only smile back.
“Don’t cry over him.” the same calming voice from before told her, now using words that actually meant something to her, making her avert her eyes to the ground. There was silence between them as she tried to look at everything but him, yet in the end she failed and ended up still looking up at his face. “I don’t want you to cry over anyone but me.” he said, letting his fingers trail the line of her cheek.
“Why?”
“Because that way I can make sure you never have to cry again.”
Characters: Undefined
Rating: G
Wordcount: 522
Summary: It hurts to see her cry over someone else
A/N: So I was listening to Tell me goodbye by Big Bang over and over while reading someone else's fanfic and suddenly drabble inspiration came to me. I started writing, just randomly spouting the words that entered my mind. And this is what came out of it. A short, nonsensical drabble that holds no real value, but I think it's still a nice, short read. ^^ Putting in names of the persons just wasn't possible for me once again, but the people I was thinking of while writing this are below the story, for those who don't want to have their view on the story messed up by my personal thoughts about the characters.
Hope you enjoy this short drabble.
- - - - -
A big silence hung around them as she stared. Stared at the person in front of her and tried to grasp exactly what he had said. Tried to grasp the meaning of his words as she felt the tears starting to form in her eyes. Tears that would soon wet her cheeks.
He looked back at her, obviously seeing the brimming tears, but doing nothing to stop them. She wished he would just take a step towards her, show her that he still cared, even though the words he said to her were far from nice or loving. She wished he would just go back to being the good friend he used to be. A friend he was supposed to be.
“Yah.. So.. I’ll be going then.” was all he said, however, turning around and walking away. She followed his retreat with her eyes, unable to move, unable to grasp the truth behind her words. Her body felt like she would lose control over it soon and she expected her legs to buckle out from underneath her any moment now.. And indeed they did.
She felt herself go limp and her view slowly tilted over. She could see the ground coming closer bit by bit, but before the thud of hitting rock bottom could register in her mind, something -or better someone- stopped her fall. Strong arms pulled her back on her feet and her face was pressed against the soft fabric of a T-shirt. She suddenly noticed that the tears were already making their way down over her cheeks and the first sob made her body shock.
Comforting hands wiped the tears from her face and tucked her hair behind her ears, her back was being stroked in a very relaxing way and a calming voice mumbled soft nothings in her ear to make her stop crying, but her body did not respond to any of it. As her tears kept running, she found herself wondering about the smell the T-shirt she was leaning against had and how it faintly reminded her of lavender in the afternoon sun.
Slowly her tears came to an end and her sobbing turned into occasional sniffing, until it completely died away. She felt her heartbeat calm down as she slowly lifted her head to look up at whoever it was that was standing with her. The first thing she noticed was how close he actually was standing and how reassuring his arms around her really felt. A little smile pulled up the corners of his mouth and she could only smile back.
“Don’t cry over him.” the same calming voice from before told her, now using words that actually meant something to her, making her avert her eyes to the ground. There was silence between them as she tried to look at everything but him, yet in the end she failed and ended up still looking up at his face. “I don’t want you to cry over anyone but me.” he said, letting his fingers trail the line of her cheek.
“Why?”
“Because that way I can make sure you never have to cry again.”
[FIC] Without
Title: Without
Characters: Heechul
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 304
Summary: He's left without the other and it's emptier than he thought.
A/N: Again a fic written because of recent events. This time it's Heechul's cyworld post that inspired me to write this short drabble. So don't expect anything fluffywuffy loveydovey or giddy-happy. It's the raw core of what I imagined right after reading his post. It's kind of related to A very Twitter day in a way, because it has the same kind of writing style and viewing point, but this obviously is not the same kind of nonsense as that one was. I know this all probably sounded like heavy words, but I'm in a serious mood. (Although I'm not sad, I wrote that emotion out of me, into this..) Hope you guys will like it, even though it's so harsh. Please do comment.
- - - - -
Fuck. That’s what he thought when he pressed send.
Fuck. That’s what he thought when he got the message that his entry was sent.
Fuck. That’s what he thought when the first tear wet his cheek.
And then he started bawling like a baby.
Yet at the same time, he smiled. Thinking of the good times he had with his friend. Thinking of the times they had a drink together. Thinking of how they had made fun of the other members together. Thinking of how terribly empty the house had become without the other.
And the smile fell. Because who was he trying to kid anyway?
As he thought that, he felt the tears wash freely over his cheeks. They kept coming, as if his body had water to spare and wanted to lose it all. He cried like he hadn’t cried ever since he had gotten into the car accident and shattered his leg. Yet he cried as silently as he could, because he didn’t want to wake the other members with his tears. They shouldn’t suffer with him.
He managed to glance around his room through his tears. The empty bottles were spread out around him.. On his desk, on the carpet, on the little table next to his bed, hell, even on top of his bed. One empty bottle of Soju next to the other, thrown away carelessly, because it really didn’t matter where they ended up.
A bitter laugh escaped him when he imagined the scenery..
A bunch of forgotten Soju bottles and a full grown man crying like a baby.
Well wasn’t he pathetic?
Kim Heechul.
Super Junior’s number one Flower Boy.
Korea’s number one arrogance.
The world’s number one pretty face.
The great Kim Heechul.
He guessed being an idiot was something he was great at as well.
Characters: Heechul
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 304
Summary: He's left without the other and it's emptier than he thought.
A/N: Again a fic written because of recent events. This time it's Heechul's cyworld post that inspired me to write this short drabble. So don't expect anything fluffywuffy loveydovey or giddy-happy. It's the raw core of what I imagined right after reading his post. It's kind of related to A very Twitter day in a way, because it has the same kind of writing style and viewing point, but this obviously is not the same kind of nonsense as that one was. I know this all probably sounded like heavy words, but I'm in a serious mood. (Although I'm not sad, I wrote that emotion out of me, into this..) Hope you guys will like it, even though it's so harsh. Please do comment.
- - - - -
Fuck. That’s what he thought when he pressed send.
Fuck. That’s what he thought when he got the message that his entry was sent.
Fuck. That’s what he thought when the first tear wet his cheek.
And then he started bawling like a baby.
Yet at the same time, he smiled. Thinking of the good times he had with his friend. Thinking of the times they had a drink together. Thinking of how they had made fun of the other members together. Thinking of how terribly empty the house had become without the other.
And the smile fell. Because who was he trying to kid anyway?
As he thought that, he felt the tears wash freely over his cheeks. They kept coming, as if his body had water to spare and wanted to lose it all. He cried like he hadn’t cried ever since he had gotten into the car accident and shattered his leg. Yet he cried as silently as he could, because he didn’t want to wake the other members with his tears. They shouldn’t suffer with him.
He managed to glance around his room through his tears. The empty bottles were spread out around him.. On his desk, on the carpet, on the little table next to his bed, hell, even on top of his bed. One empty bottle of Soju next to the other, thrown away carelessly, because it really didn’t matter where they ended up.
A bitter laugh escaped him when he imagined the scenery..
A bunch of forgotten Soju bottles and a full grown man crying like a baby.
Well wasn’t he pathetic?
Kim Heechul.
Super Junior’s number one Flower Boy.
Korea’s number one arrogance.
The world’s number one pretty face.
The great Kim Heechul.
He guessed being an idiot was something he was great at as well.
[FIC] Impossible
Title: Impossible
Characters: Leeteuk, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 725
Summary: He's all she ever loved
A/N: I've had this plotline in my head for quite a while, but only now got around to actually writing it out. Once again I had a bit of trouble with the genre (I'm really not good at these things.. xD) and I was doubting between a one-shot and a drabble as well, but I've written this in one go and did not betaread it at all. Once again this is a figment of my mind put into words, although the 'she' person in this story does not at all relate to me. I hope you like this piece of text and take the time to comment. ^^
- - - - -
She let out a deep sigh as she looked at him. His face was so fragile, yet his expression so strong. His jaw line so soft, standing in a huge contrast to the determined way he carried himself. His chin stuck out a little bit, but was not at all pointy and the form only defined his face even more, giving it its own shape and outline. His mouth had a cute oval-like form when his expression was at ease, but the moment he started smiling, everything seemed to light up as he revealed his flashing white teeth.
The things that intrigued her most, however, were his eyes. Two ultimately beautiful pools of darkness that she had never been able to read. There would always be a sparkle in them, even when he was tired or exhausted. His face would fall, but those eyes would keep sparkling. Every time she looked at them, she would try to find out what lay behind those eyes, inside of his head, but she never succeeded. He was readable like an open book, but only at times when he allowed it, like the times he cried of sadness or laughed with joy.
His tears hurt her, they always did. She could feel so much pain radiating from him whenever he showed his sadness. She could see his face turn into a mask of pain and hurt, but only when he allowed her to see it. He was always so careful to keep those feelings inside until they became too much for him and he had no choice but to let them out. At times when she caught him in such a situation, she would feel her own heart crying with him and she would like nothing more than to hold him, support him and help him.
But just like his tears made her hurt, so did his laughter cure her wounds. Whenever his bright smile appeared on his face or his high-pitched laughter sounded in her ears, she would feel the smile creep up on her own face as well. His jokes and gags would have her tear up from laughing or struggling to catch her breath while holding her hurting stomach. She would be flailing her arms aimlessly in an in vain will for air. And when the first hysteria passed by, she would always keep smiling for at least three more hours after.
That was how much she loved him. That was how much he influenced her. At a single falter of his smile she would be ready to comfort him, support him, take all of his pain and throw it in a deep hole. At every upward twitch of the corners of his mouth, she was ready to smile with him, to be happy because of his happiness and to cherish the moments that made him happy. All because she loved him that much.
She loved him like she had never loved anyone before. It was proven by the strange sensation in her stomach whenever his eyes would look right into hers and his smile would brighten his whole expression, by the feeling of happiness when he told her he loved her, by the way her heart leaped whenever she saw him. It was an obvious fact that she loved him, that she would do anything for him. She would gladly take all his hurt on her so that he would forever be happy.
Because where else on the world would she find someone else who was as caring as him? Where would she find someone who had the same golden heart, the same angelic voice, the same unconditional love? He was one in a billion and there were only seven billion people in the world. But he was still the purest of them all. He was like an angel sent down from heaven to make the world a little bit of a better place..
A smile broke through on her face when once again he said he loved her. Then the video ended and she was left with nothing but illusions and emptiness. He would never be hers. He would never know her. Her love would never be noticed. She would never hold him, support him or comfort him. She would never be more than a fan to him. And it was slowly killing her.
Characters: Leeteuk, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 725
Summary: He's all she ever loved
A/N: I've had this plotline in my head for quite a while, but only now got around to actually writing it out. Once again I had a bit of trouble with the genre (I'm really not good at these things.. xD) and I was doubting between a one-shot and a drabble as well, but I've written this in one go and did not betaread it at all. Once again this is a figment of my mind put into words, although the 'she' person in this story does not at all relate to me. I hope you like this piece of text and take the time to comment. ^^
- - - - -
She let out a deep sigh as she looked at him. His face was so fragile, yet his expression so strong. His jaw line so soft, standing in a huge contrast to the determined way he carried himself. His chin stuck out a little bit, but was not at all pointy and the form only defined his face even more, giving it its own shape and outline. His mouth had a cute oval-like form when his expression was at ease, but the moment he started smiling, everything seemed to light up as he revealed his flashing white teeth.
The things that intrigued her most, however, were his eyes. Two ultimately beautiful pools of darkness that she had never been able to read. There would always be a sparkle in them, even when he was tired or exhausted. His face would fall, but those eyes would keep sparkling. Every time she looked at them, she would try to find out what lay behind those eyes, inside of his head, but she never succeeded. He was readable like an open book, but only at times when he allowed it, like the times he cried of sadness or laughed with joy.
His tears hurt her, they always did. She could feel so much pain radiating from him whenever he showed his sadness. She could see his face turn into a mask of pain and hurt, but only when he allowed her to see it. He was always so careful to keep those feelings inside until they became too much for him and he had no choice but to let them out. At times when she caught him in such a situation, she would feel her own heart crying with him and she would like nothing more than to hold him, support him and help him.
But just like his tears made her hurt, so did his laughter cure her wounds. Whenever his bright smile appeared on his face or his high-pitched laughter sounded in her ears, she would feel the smile creep up on her own face as well. His jokes and gags would have her tear up from laughing or struggling to catch her breath while holding her hurting stomach. She would be flailing her arms aimlessly in an in vain will for air. And when the first hysteria passed by, she would always keep smiling for at least three more hours after.
That was how much she loved him. That was how much he influenced her. At a single falter of his smile she would be ready to comfort him, support him, take all of his pain and throw it in a deep hole. At every upward twitch of the corners of his mouth, she was ready to smile with him, to be happy because of his happiness and to cherish the moments that made him happy. All because she loved him that much.
She loved him like she had never loved anyone before. It was proven by the strange sensation in her stomach whenever his eyes would look right into hers and his smile would brighten his whole expression, by the feeling of happiness when he told her he loved her, by the way her heart leaped whenever she saw him. It was an obvious fact that she loved him, that she would do anything for him. She would gladly take all his hurt on her so that he would forever be happy.
Because where else on the world would she find someone else who was as caring as him? Where would she find someone who had the same golden heart, the same angelic voice, the same unconditional love? He was one in a billion and there were only seven billion people in the world. But he was still the purest of them all. He was like an angel sent down from heaven to make the world a little bit of a better place..
A smile broke through on her face when once again he said he loved her. Then the video ended and she was left with nothing but illusions and emptiness. He would never be hers. He would never know her. Her love would never be noticed. She would never hold him, support him or comfort him. She would never be more than a fan to him. And it was slowly killing her.
[FIC] Life's a book
Title: Life's a book
Characters: Eunhyuk, Donghae, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 395
Summary: Life's a book with blank pages, waiting for us to fill it with a story.
A/N: This drabble was a fraction of my imagination that I managed to pin down and write out. The last lines have been stuck in my head the whole day since I came up with them and I just had to write something with it.
- - - - -
He had once told me the most meaningful words ever. He had once been the only person who could pull me out of the depression I had been in. For every breath I take, I still have to thank him. Every beat of my heart I can feel because of him.
* * *
“My life sucks, Hae.” I said. “Ever since I was born, my road was already pointed out for me. I have no choice but to live this so called ideal life. Why would I stay alive to live someone else’s dream.” He sighed, but when I had looked up at him, he didn’t show the agreement I had thought he would.
“There is no road pointed out for you.” he said. “Life’s a book with blank pages, waiting for us to fill it with a story.”
I eyed him suspiciously, but he seemed so certain of himself, so confident that what he was saying was really true. He smiled his wonderful smile and ruffled my hair. I could only smile back.
* * *
His words.. I remember them up till today. They were the words that made me believe in my own future again. They gave me a purpose to fight, to be strong, to know that I was worth something. They gave me a reason to pull through up until this day, 10 years later.
“Hyukjae oppa.”
I turn around to face the person who called me. My eyes take in her absolute beauty and I smile as I see her in the white wedding dress. She looks gorgeous. More than that. There is no word to describe her pure and innocent beauty. I smile with all the love I have for her and gently take her hand.
“Minji..” I then say in reply, pressing a light kiss on the back of her small, feminine hand. She smiles back at me, a smile that reaches her eyes and makes them sparkle like sapphires in a bright ray of sunlight. She then turns away and walks towards her groom, leaving me to stare after her with nothing but the pain of having to let her go.
Life’s a book with blank pages, waiting for us to fill it with a story.
And here I am, writing a fucking happy ending for someone else’s fucking fairytale.
Thanks a lot, Hae.
Characters: Eunhyuk, Donghae, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 395
Summary: Life's a book with blank pages, waiting for us to fill it with a story.
A/N: This drabble was a fraction of my imagination that I managed to pin down and write out. The last lines have been stuck in my head the whole day since I came up with them and I just had to write something with it.
- - - - -
He had once told me the most meaningful words ever. He had once been the only person who could pull me out of the depression I had been in. For every breath I take, I still have to thank him. Every beat of my heart I can feel because of him.
* * *
“My life sucks, Hae.” I said. “Ever since I was born, my road was already pointed out for me. I have no choice but to live this so called ideal life. Why would I stay alive to live someone else’s dream.” He sighed, but when I had looked up at him, he didn’t show the agreement I had thought he would.
“There is no road pointed out for you.” he said. “Life’s a book with blank pages, waiting for us to fill it with a story.”
I eyed him suspiciously, but he seemed so certain of himself, so confident that what he was saying was really true. He smiled his wonderful smile and ruffled my hair. I could only smile back.
* * *
His words.. I remember them up till today. They were the words that made me believe in my own future again. They gave me a purpose to fight, to be strong, to know that I was worth something. They gave me a reason to pull through up until this day, 10 years later.
“Hyukjae oppa.”
I turn around to face the person who called me. My eyes take in her absolute beauty and I smile as I see her in the white wedding dress. She looks gorgeous. More than that. There is no word to describe her pure and innocent beauty. I smile with all the love I have for her and gently take her hand.
“Minji..” I then say in reply, pressing a light kiss on the back of her small, feminine hand. She smiles back at me, a smile that reaches her eyes and makes them sparkle like sapphires in a bright ray of sunlight. She then turns away and walks towards her groom, leaving me to stare after her with nothing but the pain of having to let her go.
Life’s a book with blank pages, waiting for us to fill it with a story.
And here I am, writing a fucking happy ending for someone else’s fucking fairytale.
Thanks a lot, Hae.
[FIC] Gone
Title: Gone
Characters: Kyuhyun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 413
Summary: It's hard to be left behind alone
A/N: I post this at a ridiculously early time in the morning especially for xxKumiko, whom I promised I would post this. xD Enjoy (?) reading. It might be a bit too short or confusing for readers, but this is all it will get. =P
- - - - -
A soft, flawless finger caressed the strings of the guitar, before pulling one up a little and letting go with a swift movement. The soft sound filled the room with its calming vibes, making the boy on the desk chair stiffen.
When he turns around to look, however, the room is empty and no milky skinned, brown-haired person is sitting on the abandoned bed with a guitar in his hands. With a sigh, the boy turns back to his computer, only to find that the game cannot captivate him anymore.
As he closes it and turns off his computer, he feels the emptiness in the room become even more noticeable and he realizes that this is the first time for him to shut down his game without someone nagging at him about it first.
He sighs again, getting his stiff body to move to make his way towards the cold, empty bed. Looking at it, he feels the sadness rise inside, conquering his stomach and turning it into one hurting bunch of nausea.
To have something to occupy himself with, he reaches out to the shiny guitar to take it from its stand and carefully places it on his lap. His fingers trail the six separate strings, gently exploring every dent in the plastic.
Absentmindedly he takes one of the strings in between his thumb and index finger and softly pulls it. When he lets go, however, there is no soft and sweet melody to fill the room. All one could hear was a cold, completely off-key ploink.
Tears start to burn in his eyes and he knows he should have expected this. He never had a way with instruments, they only bore him. He does have a way with computers, but even the fake reality of a world filled with the slaughter of monsters cannot chase the image of his cute, pink-cheeked hyung from his mind.
He turns to put the guitar back on its stand, only barely managing to reach far enough. While sitting back up, his eyes notice the pink-coloured bunny on the pillow. He grabs it and presses it close to his body, locking it up between his knees and chest.
Like that, he sits in the room of his best friend, staring at what must be the most beautiful face he has ever seen. Like that, his members find him, two wet tear tracks on his cheeks and his eyes still locked on the picture of his friend.
Characters: Kyuhyun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 413
Summary: It's hard to be left behind alone
A/N: I post this at a ridiculously early time in the morning especially for xxKumiko, whom I promised I would post this. xD Enjoy (?) reading. It might be a bit too short or confusing for readers, but this is all it will get. =P
- - - - -
A soft, flawless finger caressed the strings of the guitar, before pulling one up a little and letting go with a swift movement. The soft sound filled the room with its calming vibes, making the boy on the desk chair stiffen.
When he turns around to look, however, the room is empty and no milky skinned, brown-haired person is sitting on the abandoned bed with a guitar in his hands. With a sigh, the boy turns back to his computer, only to find that the game cannot captivate him anymore.
As he closes it and turns off his computer, he feels the emptiness in the room become even more noticeable and he realizes that this is the first time for him to shut down his game without someone nagging at him about it first.
He sighs again, getting his stiff body to move to make his way towards the cold, empty bed. Looking at it, he feels the sadness rise inside, conquering his stomach and turning it into one hurting bunch of nausea.
To have something to occupy himself with, he reaches out to the shiny guitar to take it from its stand and carefully places it on his lap. His fingers trail the six separate strings, gently exploring every dent in the plastic.
Absentmindedly he takes one of the strings in between his thumb and index finger and softly pulls it. When he lets go, however, there is no soft and sweet melody to fill the room. All one could hear was a cold, completely off-key ploink.
Tears start to burn in his eyes and he knows he should have expected this. He never had a way with instruments, they only bore him. He does have a way with computers, but even the fake reality of a world filled with the slaughter of monsters cannot chase the image of his cute, pink-cheeked hyung from his mind.
He turns to put the guitar back on its stand, only barely managing to reach far enough. While sitting back up, his eyes notice the pink-coloured bunny on the pillow. He grabs it and presses it close to his body, locking it up between his knees and chest.
Like that, he sits in the room of his best friend, staring at what must be the most beautiful face he has ever seen. Like that, his members find him, two wet tear tracks on his cheeks and his eyes still locked on the picture of his friend.
[FIC] Hot chocolates and a milkshake
Title: Hot chocolates and a milkshake
Characters: Hangeng, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 3.805
Summary: How buying yourself a CD for your birthday can turn out.
A/N: Do you know this feeling when you write 3.805 words and feel like you could’ve just not written them at all? That is how I feel right now. I really don’t know what this piece of story is good for, just that it is a story for my unni’s birthday and she deserves something with lots of Hangeng in it like this. Also; I just can't stick to short stories, they always have to be long(er) these days.
- - - - -
It started probably many years ago. The first time she met him, they were in a CD store, both taking a different copy of the same CD. When she glanced at him to see who was taking the same as her – a normal human curiosity – he sent her a friendly smile and nodded shortly in greeting, making her automatically nod back. For her, it would have ended there, but he turned the CD around, looked at the track list on the back for a moment and then said: “So you like them too?”
She of course couldn’t just ignore him, but she didn’t feel like sharing her favourite music with a stranger, so she slightly shook her head as she replied. “No, it’s for a friend. She has a birthday coming up.” Well, that was partly true at least. She DID have her birthday coming up soon. He looked up at her again at those words, expression seeming interested.
“Oh really?” he then asked, leaning a little closer to give her copy a closer look. She instinctively shied away from him a little, but he seemed unaffected by that as he merely continued talking. “There’s some damage on this case. If it’s for a birthday you should get one that at least looks as new as it is.” The next thing she knew, she was holding his copy and he had taken hers.
“Happy birthday to the friend.” he told her, smiling once more at her before walking off. She could only stare after him, dumbfounded. When she looked back at the CD she was holding, she saw that it was indeed a much better state than the one he had taken with him, and she couldn’t help but smile, because this one was much prettier. So she set for her father and showed him her CD, telling him she wanted that as her birthday present.
Some three or four years later, she was meanwhile living in the city with her flatmate, going to university there and enjoying life as a young woman in her twenties, she went out for a drink and they met again. It had been around the same time in the year, her birthday coming up soon, and the weather outside being horribly terrible. She met up with her boyfriend in a café a little more downtown.
Things had been going rough between them since she wanted to study and pass her year whereas he wanted to party and make love, so she kind of expected the break-up, but that didn’t make it any less hard to hear him tell her it was over. He was a sweet guy when he found it in himself to care and she did love him, but she preferred finishing her studies so she could be less dependent on her parents over having fun with him and remaining under their care forever.
So that’s how her now ex-boyfriend walked away on her, leaving her with his empty glass of coke that he didn’t even pay for. She didn’t move at first, just staring at the empty glass, considering how it was much like their relationship had been near the end; just the package and none of what was supposed to be inside. She sighed, poked a finger at the glass and then quickly had to reach out to stop it from falling off the table. Right when she put it back in place, someone spoke up.
“Rough day?” it sounded next to her and she looked up to see the bartender putting a hot chocolate in front of her. She frowned at it, looking back up to him immediately after.
“I think you’re at the wrong table. I didn’t order a..” she started, but he interrupted her with a friendly smile.
“It’s on the house. Hot coco always helps.”
For a moment she thought he was trying to hit on her, but then he nodded in greeting and turned away, walking off again. She followed him with her eyes, seeing how he took the jar filled with tips and pulled some money out to put it in the cash register, probably matching the amount she would have had to pay for the hot chocolate. She felt like she was stealing his money taking the drink, but when he looked up at her, she quickly focused on the hot chocolate in front of her, picking up the cookie that came with it.
It was half an hour later when she left, leaving money for the coke and a tip that was probably twice the amount of the cost of the hot chocolate. When she reached the door, someone called out a ‘Hey hot coco!’ and when she looked back, the bartender was standing at her table, smiling at her, the money in his hand. “Happy birthday to the friend.” he told her, nodding again in greeting and walking back to the bar.
She left with a confused feeling and it wasn’t until late that evening that she suddenly remembered in a flash the boy from so many years ago who had said the same to her when she went buying a CD and she found herself considering if he was the same guy. But how could that be? It would be too big of a coincidence, and more importantly, why would someone even remember such a detail?
Surprisingly, it wasn’t even two weeks later when she saw him again, since her friend, Tan Zhi Xin, dragged her to the same café her ex had taken her, saying it was a cosy place with a very friendly and polite bartender, a great spot to have a drink for her birthday. It isn’t hard to imagine her surprise and amusement when her friend parked the car in front of the slightly familiar café and they walked in to see the more than slightly familiar young man standing behind the bar, looking up to greet her. When his eyes landed on her, his smile widened if only slightly, and he nodded in greeting.
“Heya hot coco.” he said amused. “Back for seconds already?” For some reason she didn’t feel the same apprehension towards his closeness as she had done the previous time, kind of realising it was just his way of acting and not some cheap way of flirting, so she smiled back at him.
“Afternoon birthday boy.” she then replied, making up a nickname for him on the spot. “I figured I couldn’t leave the opportunity to have another hot coco on the house.” He grinned even wider, if that was humanly possible and motioned the both of them to take a table. They did exactly that, Zhi Xin picking up the menu to be able to hide behind it as she shot her a questioning look.
“You’ve been here before?” soon followed the look and she couldn’t help but smile a little amused.
“Why yes..” she replied, leaning back in her chair and looking at the other shortly. “This is where my ex broke up with me.” Immediately Zhi Xin’s expression turned from surprised to apologetic.
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t know! Why didn’t you tell me?” she exclaimed, immediately growing silent again when the bartender walked up to their table.
“So a hot coco for hot coco.” he said, putting it in front of her, before turning to Zhi Xin. “And what can I get you, miss?” Her friend gave him a short pensive look, before smiling.
“You can give me a hot coco too if they’re free anyway.” she then said with an amused grin. The young man laughed.
“A hot coco on the house it is then.” he said, but her friend stopped him before he could leave.
“And pancakes with sugar for both of us, don’t you think?” With those last words, Zhi Xin turned back to her, so she nodded. Eating pancakes was always nice and if her friend was paying anyway, she would not object. A slight smile spread on her face as the young man went back to the bar to get their orders.
It was a pleasant evening, just chatting with Zhi Xin, eating delicious pancakes and drinking two hot chocolates each. To her, that was probably one of the most enjoyable birthdays in a while and she went home feeling more relaxed than she had done for a while. When they left the bar, they put enough money on the table to pay for everything they had taken, including the four hot chocolates, because it didn’t feel right to let birthday boy pay for their food, even if he offered to do so himself.
A long time passed again after that in which she went to school, studied and slept. With the exams coming up, she had no time to play around, which was quite a bummer to say the least. Yet one day she found herself with no food left in her apartment and her roommate staying over at friends, so she was forced to go out to get groceries or some sort of food. It was a fifteen minute walk to the closest store, but the only thing closer than that was a hot dog stand and she really didn’t feel like hotdogs, so the walk didn’t sound too bad to her.
When she arrived at the store, it was as good as empty, which wasn’t that big of a surprise since it was near closing times. She went to get the stuff she needed – vegetables, meat, some spices,.. – before calmly moving on to the cash register. There was one person before her and when that young man turned to leave, she suddenly heard a ‘Heya hot coco!’
Surprised, she looked up, but the guy walking away was completely unfamiliar to her. Frowning a little, she put the last item on the cash desk and turned to the cashier. That was the moment when her mouth dropped open a little and she quite dumbly gaped at the happily smiling, all too familiar young man.
“How are you this evening?” he asked her and she suddenly remembered what closing her mouth was like so she could swallow and answer that question.
“Are you stalking me?” Or she could ask that, of course. Even though it wasn’t what she had planned on saying, it was what she had wanted to ask, but it was still embarrassing. He merely laughed, eyeing her in amusement.
“I could ask you the same, no?” he then said, as he started scanning the products. “You’re the one who keeps showing up at my work.” She smiled, slightly embarrassed still, but then just passed him her reduction card as if nothing happened.
“Speaking of which.. Got tired of bartending?” she then asked, just to not look like a complete fool, but it didn’t help much as he grinned and shook his head.
“No, I’m still doing that. I just work multiple jobs to earn my living.” he told her, amused at her being so flustered. She nodded in understanding.
“Isn’t that hard to keep up with, two jobs and school?” she wondered, taking out her wallet and scanning through it for money.
“Three jobs, actually, and I left school. You know, too much work.” he grinned, so she smiled back, but his words didn’t really reach her as she discovered right at that moment that she had brought no money – or at least not enough. She let out a muttered curse, then looked up at him with a slightly panicked expression.
“I didn’t bring enough money.” she told him, answering the question written on his face before he could ask it. “Is it okay if I run home quickly and come back to pay? I’ll be twenty minutes if I hurry.” she pleaded. He immediately picked up the bag and started putting it aside with a smile on his face.
“Yeah sure that’s n-“ he started, but then he stopped, his smile faltering. “Wait.. We’re near closing time and the boss has to leave early today, I can’t keep open..” Her face fell as she stared at her groceries. No money meant no groceries, no groceries meant no food, no food meant either hotdogs after all or starving. She wasn’t sure which one she preferred. Before she could decide which one she preferred, he spoke again. “Tell you what.. My shift ends in like five minutes. I’ll pay for you now and I’ll wait outside with your groceries while you get the money” She stared at him.
“Are you serious?” she then asked, obviously not believing that someone would actually do that for a stranger. But he just grinned and nodded.
“What part of the city do you live in?” he then asked her and she didn’t even hesitate as she pointed in the general direction of her house, naming her street. His grin only widened at that. “Really? I can walk along then and save you the trip back. My place is only a few blocks away.”
So that’s what happened. He walked home with her once the store was closed and she let him wait outside for a minute as she got the money. He left after a short goodbye, but she couldn’t help calling him as he was about twenty meters away from her, making him turn back with a questioning smile. She felt slightly insecure for a moment, before manning up and clearing her throat.
“Uh.. I never got your name.” she said, sending a slight smile his way, and he grinned at her, turning around again and walking on without replying, but right before she could feel offended, he lifted a hand to wave at her, not looking back as he answered.
“It’s Hangeng.”
Her exams and holidays all passed before she saw him again. Even if she had wanted to see him before, she didn’t know anything about him, just his name and the places he worked at, but she had no idea when he worked there, so trying to catch him at work would pretty much be a lost cause. It wasn’t like she was dying to meet him either. But they met again anyway. This time not at one of his work places, but randomly on the street.
And after that it happened again and again and again. Never planned, never arranged beforehand, but always happening. Mostly he was the one calling out to her first, making her notice his presence, but a few select times she would be the one calling him first. They never purposefully went to look for each other – at least she didn’t think so. But one day, that changed.
It did not because of him, but because of her ex. One day he appeared at her door and as she opened up for him, he stuffed flowers in her hand, smiled, wished her a happy day and left again. She was left staring at his flowers for about a minute, before she went after him. He as nowhere to be seen anymore. Slightly dishevelled, she found a nice vase for the flowers and put them on the table because it was a waste to get rid of them.
Her next week was spent ignoring her roommate who kept going on about her secret admirer who kept sending her all kinds of presents. When she finally called up her ex to ask about it, he told her he wanted her back, and even though she turned him down multiple times, he didn’t listen. She wanted to talk to Zhi Xin about it, but she knew her friend would only tell her to give him another chance because he was a great guy.
So instead, that evening, with little hope in her heart, she took a bus to the more downtown part of Seoul and walked into the café Hangeng worked at, happy to be greeted by his signature ‘Heya hot coco. How’s the day?’ the moment he walked up to her table. She smiled at him, but then sighed slightly as she gave him a ‘It’s going good.’ in reply, immediately gaining his interest.
“Give me a moment to serve these other customers.” he told her. “I’ll get back to you immediately after.” He walked off to help the people still wanting drinks and came back a mere ten minutes later, putting a chocolate milkshake in front of he. She couldn’t help but smile. The weather outside was wonderful that day, so it amused her that he changed the usual hot chocolate he’d pass her. What surprised her more was that he took a seat on the chair next to her, however. “Shoot.” he then said and she automatically made a gun with her hand to pretend to shoot him. He chuckled. “Okay, bad wording. Tell me what’s up.”
“Ah, you know..” she sighed, hesitating a moment as she looked at him, but then things just spilled. “There’s this guy who keeps bothering me even though I tell him to go and it’s starting to annoy me.” She took a sip from her milkshake and then stirred it a bit with her straw.
“What does he do then?” Hangeng asked, obviously wanting her to tell him what’s up so he could help. She felt herself smile already just because he showed his care for her. It was strange but nice to realise how they went from strangers to .. strangers who cared about each other. Yeah, if you thought about it like that it was just strange, nothing else.
“Well.. He used to me my boyfriend last year. We broke up a few months ago, but now it seems like he wants me back, which makes no sense because he’s the one who broke up with me to begin with. But I don’t want him back, really.. I’d rather just focus on my studies for now and then see later what I’ll do with my love life.” she explained the situation, earning a pensive nod from Hangeng. “And I tried to tell him that, but he says he’s fine with studies coming first and that he’ll just spend my free time with me, but.. If I’m completely honest, I don’t love him anymore, and he just won’t listen when I try to tell him that.”
Hangeng looked at her a moment, nodding in understanding, and then sat up a little straighter. “Tell him you found someone else?” he then told her. “They usually back away when they realise you really did move on.”
“But he’ll never believe me unless I come with proof.” she objected to that, causing Hangeng to frown and continue his musing.
“That’s a problem indeed Maybe you can find someone to help you out, pretend to be your new flame?” he uttered after a while. They both lapsed into a silence thinking over that possibility. “But who could help you without making things complicated to keep up later? Do you know anyone he doesn’t?”
And then there was the awkward moment in which he stared at her waiting for her answer and she stared back with an idea, hoping he would get it. They remained silent until she opened her mouth to offer her idea, but that was about the moment when he seemed to catch what her look meant and he immediately lifted his hands in a rejecting way.
“Me? No, no, no, I can’t!” he protested, so immediate and set that she was a little taken aback. But the next moment she realised her own bluntness.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” she apologised, which seemed to calm him down. “You probably have a girlfriend and all that. It was stupid of me.”
“No it’s not that.” he immediately denied. “It’s just.. I really suck at acting. People can see in a blink when I’m lying.” He sent her a sheepish smile, but was called away by another customer before she could respond. She was left to ponder over the possibilities by herself again. When he sat back down, she looked up to find the other customers had paid the bill and left, so they were the only ones now. He sighed as he thought over the situation again. “I wish I could help you out, though.” he then said.
“Maybe you can.” she suddenly piped up, an idea forming in her head. His worried face made her grin. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve any pretending. We can just take a picture of the two of us with my phone like couples do, making a cute face or something?” At that, he started smiling.
“That’s a good idea!” he agreed. “We can do it now if you want? It’s a public place, makes it all the more believing.” She looked around for a moment, feeling slightly awkward, but then deciding that he was right and that it didn’t really matter where they took the picture anyway.
So she took out her phone and he immediately moved closer to drape his arm around her shoulders. They took a bunch of pictures, ranging from cute to funny to absolutely embarrassing. At one point he even patted her head and told her he’d call her milkshake from now on, for as long as the summer lasted. She chuckled at that and as she lifted her milkshake glass happily to empty it, he snapped a solo shot of her with his own phone. She frowned at that, making him show her the picture. She actually didn’t look too bad, so she was okay with him keeping it.
“Hey I have to get back to work now, before the boss comes by and sees me messing around.” he told her as he pocketed his phone again. Before she caught what was going on, he had leaned in and pressed a kiss on her cheek. For a moment she froze in shock, but then she turned to look at him. He was calmly looking back, not seeming the least bit embarrassed. She frowned, slightly confused and unsure of what to make of it, whether to take it as just a kiss or see more behind it, but before she could open her mouth, he smiled and ruffled her hair.
“Don’t worry.” he then said. “I’m fine with sticking around in your friend life until you finish your studies and feel ready to think about your love life.” He grinned as he got up from his chair and picked up her empty milkshake glass to take it to the bar with him, leaving her staring after him with a feeling that probably could be named best as ‘speechless.’
It was there, at that moment, that she realised he was either mentally deranged or an angel sent from heaven, but either way, it made her feel happy that she was allowed to call him a friend.
Characters: Hangeng, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 3.805
Summary: How buying yourself a CD for your birthday can turn out.
A/N: Do you know this feeling when you write 3.805 words and feel like you could’ve just not written them at all? That is how I feel right now. I really don’t know what this piece of story is good for, just that it is a story for my unni’s birthday and she deserves something with lots of Hangeng in it like this. Also; I just can't stick to short stories, they always have to be long(er) these days.
- - - - -
It started probably many years ago. The first time she met him, they were in a CD store, both taking a different copy of the same CD. When she glanced at him to see who was taking the same as her – a normal human curiosity – he sent her a friendly smile and nodded shortly in greeting, making her automatically nod back. For her, it would have ended there, but he turned the CD around, looked at the track list on the back for a moment and then said: “So you like them too?”
She of course couldn’t just ignore him, but she didn’t feel like sharing her favourite music with a stranger, so she slightly shook her head as she replied. “No, it’s for a friend. She has a birthday coming up.” Well, that was partly true at least. She DID have her birthday coming up soon. He looked up at her again at those words, expression seeming interested.
“Oh really?” he then asked, leaning a little closer to give her copy a closer look. She instinctively shied away from him a little, but he seemed unaffected by that as he merely continued talking. “There’s some damage on this case. If it’s for a birthday you should get one that at least looks as new as it is.” The next thing she knew, she was holding his copy and he had taken hers.
“Happy birthday to the friend.” he told her, smiling once more at her before walking off. She could only stare after him, dumbfounded. When she looked back at the CD she was holding, she saw that it was indeed a much better state than the one he had taken with him, and she couldn’t help but smile, because this one was much prettier. So she set for her father and showed him her CD, telling him she wanted that as her birthday present.
Some three or four years later, she was meanwhile living in the city with her flatmate, going to university there and enjoying life as a young woman in her twenties, she went out for a drink and they met again. It had been around the same time in the year, her birthday coming up soon, and the weather outside being horribly terrible. She met up with her boyfriend in a café a little more downtown.
Things had been going rough between them since she wanted to study and pass her year whereas he wanted to party and make love, so she kind of expected the break-up, but that didn’t make it any less hard to hear him tell her it was over. He was a sweet guy when he found it in himself to care and she did love him, but she preferred finishing her studies so she could be less dependent on her parents over having fun with him and remaining under their care forever.
So that’s how her now ex-boyfriend walked away on her, leaving her with his empty glass of coke that he didn’t even pay for. She didn’t move at first, just staring at the empty glass, considering how it was much like their relationship had been near the end; just the package and none of what was supposed to be inside. She sighed, poked a finger at the glass and then quickly had to reach out to stop it from falling off the table. Right when she put it back in place, someone spoke up.
“Rough day?” it sounded next to her and she looked up to see the bartender putting a hot chocolate in front of her. She frowned at it, looking back up to him immediately after.
“I think you’re at the wrong table. I didn’t order a..” she started, but he interrupted her with a friendly smile.
“It’s on the house. Hot coco always helps.”
For a moment she thought he was trying to hit on her, but then he nodded in greeting and turned away, walking off again. She followed him with her eyes, seeing how he took the jar filled with tips and pulled some money out to put it in the cash register, probably matching the amount she would have had to pay for the hot chocolate. She felt like she was stealing his money taking the drink, but when he looked up at her, she quickly focused on the hot chocolate in front of her, picking up the cookie that came with it.
It was half an hour later when she left, leaving money for the coke and a tip that was probably twice the amount of the cost of the hot chocolate. When she reached the door, someone called out a ‘Hey hot coco!’ and when she looked back, the bartender was standing at her table, smiling at her, the money in his hand. “Happy birthday to the friend.” he told her, nodding again in greeting and walking back to the bar.
She left with a confused feeling and it wasn’t until late that evening that she suddenly remembered in a flash the boy from so many years ago who had said the same to her when she went buying a CD and she found herself considering if he was the same guy. But how could that be? It would be too big of a coincidence, and more importantly, why would someone even remember such a detail?
Surprisingly, it wasn’t even two weeks later when she saw him again, since her friend, Tan Zhi Xin, dragged her to the same café her ex had taken her, saying it was a cosy place with a very friendly and polite bartender, a great spot to have a drink for her birthday. It isn’t hard to imagine her surprise and amusement when her friend parked the car in front of the slightly familiar café and they walked in to see the more than slightly familiar young man standing behind the bar, looking up to greet her. When his eyes landed on her, his smile widened if only slightly, and he nodded in greeting.
“Heya hot coco.” he said amused. “Back for seconds already?” For some reason she didn’t feel the same apprehension towards his closeness as she had done the previous time, kind of realising it was just his way of acting and not some cheap way of flirting, so she smiled back at him.
“Afternoon birthday boy.” she then replied, making up a nickname for him on the spot. “I figured I couldn’t leave the opportunity to have another hot coco on the house.” He grinned even wider, if that was humanly possible and motioned the both of them to take a table. They did exactly that, Zhi Xin picking up the menu to be able to hide behind it as she shot her a questioning look.
“You’ve been here before?” soon followed the look and she couldn’t help but smile a little amused.
“Why yes..” she replied, leaning back in her chair and looking at the other shortly. “This is where my ex broke up with me.” Immediately Zhi Xin’s expression turned from surprised to apologetic.
“Oh my gosh, I didn’t know! Why didn’t you tell me?” she exclaimed, immediately growing silent again when the bartender walked up to their table.
“So a hot coco for hot coco.” he said, putting it in front of her, before turning to Zhi Xin. “And what can I get you, miss?” Her friend gave him a short pensive look, before smiling.
“You can give me a hot coco too if they’re free anyway.” she then said with an amused grin. The young man laughed.
“A hot coco on the house it is then.” he said, but her friend stopped him before he could leave.
“And pancakes with sugar for both of us, don’t you think?” With those last words, Zhi Xin turned back to her, so she nodded. Eating pancakes was always nice and if her friend was paying anyway, she would not object. A slight smile spread on her face as the young man went back to the bar to get their orders.
It was a pleasant evening, just chatting with Zhi Xin, eating delicious pancakes and drinking two hot chocolates each. To her, that was probably one of the most enjoyable birthdays in a while and she went home feeling more relaxed than she had done for a while. When they left the bar, they put enough money on the table to pay for everything they had taken, including the four hot chocolates, because it didn’t feel right to let birthday boy pay for their food, even if he offered to do so himself.
A long time passed again after that in which she went to school, studied and slept. With the exams coming up, she had no time to play around, which was quite a bummer to say the least. Yet one day she found herself with no food left in her apartment and her roommate staying over at friends, so she was forced to go out to get groceries or some sort of food. It was a fifteen minute walk to the closest store, but the only thing closer than that was a hot dog stand and she really didn’t feel like hotdogs, so the walk didn’t sound too bad to her.
When she arrived at the store, it was as good as empty, which wasn’t that big of a surprise since it was near closing times. She went to get the stuff she needed – vegetables, meat, some spices,.. – before calmly moving on to the cash register. There was one person before her and when that young man turned to leave, she suddenly heard a ‘Heya hot coco!’
Surprised, she looked up, but the guy walking away was completely unfamiliar to her. Frowning a little, she put the last item on the cash desk and turned to the cashier. That was the moment when her mouth dropped open a little and she quite dumbly gaped at the happily smiling, all too familiar young man.
“How are you this evening?” he asked her and she suddenly remembered what closing her mouth was like so she could swallow and answer that question.
“Are you stalking me?” Or she could ask that, of course. Even though it wasn’t what she had planned on saying, it was what she had wanted to ask, but it was still embarrassing. He merely laughed, eyeing her in amusement.
“I could ask you the same, no?” he then said, as he started scanning the products. “You’re the one who keeps showing up at my work.” She smiled, slightly embarrassed still, but then just passed him her reduction card as if nothing happened.
“Speaking of which.. Got tired of bartending?” she then asked, just to not look like a complete fool, but it didn’t help much as he grinned and shook his head.
“No, I’m still doing that. I just work multiple jobs to earn my living.” he told her, amused at her being so flustered. She nodded in understanding.
“Isn’t that hard to keep up with, two jobs and school?” she wondered, taking out her wallet and scanning through it for money.
“Three jobs, actually, and I left school. You know, too much work.” he grinned, so she smiled back, but his words didn’t really reach her as she discovered right at that moment that she had brought no money – or at least not enough. She let out a muttered curse, then looked up at him with a slightly panicked expression.
“I didn’t bring enough money.” she told him, answering the question written on his face before he could ask it. “Is it okay if I run home quickly and come back to pay? I’ll be twenty minutes if I hurry.” she pleaded. He immediately picked up the bag and started putting it aside with a smile on his face.
“Yeah sure that’s n-“ he started, but then he stopped, his smile faltering. “Wait.. We’re near closing time and the boss has to leave early today, I can’t keep open..” Her face fell as she stared at her groceries. No money meant no groceries, no groceries meant no food, no food meant either hotdogs after all or starving. She wasn’t sure which one she preferred. Before she could decide which one she preferred, he spoke again. “Tell you what.. My shift ends in like five minutes. I’ll pay for you now and I’ll wait outside with your groceries while you get the money” She stared at him.
“Are you serious?” she then asked, obviously not believing that someone would actually do that for a stranger. But he just grinned and nodded.
“What part of the city do you live in?” he then asked her and she didn’t even hesitate as she pointed in the general direction of her house, naming her street. His grin only widened at that. “Really? I can walk along then and save you the trip back. My place is only a few blocks away.”
So that’s what happened. He walked home with her once the store was closed and she let him wait outside for a minute as she got the money. He left after a short goodbye, but she couldn’t help calling him as he was about twenty meters away from her, making him turn back with a questioning smile. She felt slightly insecure for a moment, before manning up and clearing her throat.
“Uh.. I never got your name.” she said, sending a slight smile his way, and he grinned at her, turning around again and walking on without replying, but right before she could feel offended, he lifted a hand to wave at her, not looking back as he answered.
“It’s Hangeng.”
Her exams and holidays all passed before she saw him again. Even if she had wanted to see him before, she didn’t know anything about him, just his name and the places he worked at, but she had no idea when he worked there, so trying to catch him at work would pretty much be a lost cause. It wasn’t like she was dying to meet him either. But they met again anyway. This time not at one of his work places, but randomly on the street.
And after that it happened again and again and again. Never planned, never arranged beforehand, but always happening. Mostly he was the one calling out to her first, making her notice his presence, but a few select times she would be the one calling him first. They never purposefully went to look for each other – at least she didn’t think so. But one day, that changed.
It did not because of him, but because of her ex. One day he appeared at her door and as she opened up for him, he stuffed flowers in her hand, smiled, wished her a happy day and left again. She was left staring at his flowers for about a minute, before she went after him. He as nowhere to be seen anymore. Slightly dishevelled, she found a nice vase for the flowers and put them on the table because it was a waste to get rid of them.
Her next week was spent ignoring her roommate who kept going on about her secret admirer who kept sending her all kinds of presents. When she finally called up her ex to ask about it, he told her he wanted her back, and even though she turned him down multiple times, he didn’t listen. She wanted to talk to Zhi Xin about it, but she knew her friend would only tell her to give him another chance because he was a great guy.
So instead, that evening, with little hope in her heart, she took a bus to the more downtown part of Seoul and walked into the café Hangeng worked at, happy to be greeted by his signature ‘Heya hot coco. How’s the day?’ the moment he walked up to her table. She smiled at him, but then sighed slightly as she gave him a ‘It’s going good.’ in reply, immediately gaining his interest.
“Give me a moment to serve these other customers.” he told her. “I’ll get back to you immediately after.” He walked off to help the people still wanting drinks and came back a mere ten minutes later, putting a chocolate milkshake in front of he. She couldn’t help but smile. The weather outside was wonderful that day, so it amused her that he changed the usual hot chocolate he’d pass her. What surprised her more was that he took a seat on the chair next to her, however. “Shoot.” he then said and she automatically made a gun with her hand to pretend to shoot him. He chuckled. “Okay, bad wording. Tell me what’s up.”
“Ah, you know..” she sighed, hesitating a moment as she looked at him, but then things just spilled. “There’s this guy who keeps bothering me even though I tell him to go and it’s starting to annoy me.” She took a sip from her milkshake and then stirred it a bit with her straw.
“What does he do then?” Hangeng asked, obviously wanting her to tell him what’s up so he could help. She felt herself smile already just because he showed his care for her. It was strange but nice to realise how they went from strangers to .. strangers who cared about each other. Yeah, if you thought about it like that it was just strange, nothing else.
“Well.. He used to me my boyfriend last year. We broke up a few months ago, but now it seems like he wants me back, which makes no sense because he’s the one who broke up with me to begin with. But I don’t want him back, really.. I’d rather just focus on my studies for now and then see later what I’ll do with my love life.” she explained the situation, earning a pensive nod from Hangeng. “And I tried to tell him that, but he says he’s fine with studies coming first and that he’ll just spend my free time with me, but.. If I’m completely honest, I don’t love him anymore, and he just won’t listen when I try to tell him that.”
Hangeng looked at her a moment, nodding in understanding, and then sat up a little straighter. “Tell him you found someone else?” he then told her. “They usually back away when they realise you really did move on.”
“But he’ll never believe me unless I come with proof.” she objected to that, causing Hangeng to frown and continue his musing.
“That’s a problem indeed Maybe you can find someone to help you out, pretend to be your new flame?” he uttered after a while. They both lapsed into a silence thinking over that possibility. “But who could help you without making things complicated to keep up later? Do you know anyone he doesn’t?”
And then there was the awkward moment in which he stared at her waiting for her answer and she stared back with an idea, hoping he would get it. They remained silent until she opened her mouth to offer her idea, but that was about the moment when he seemed to catch what her look meant and he immediately lifted his hands in a rejecting way.
“Me? No, no, no, I can’t!” he protested, so immediate and set that she was a little taken aback. But the next moment she realised her own bluntness.
“I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.” she apologised, which seemed to calm him down. “You probably have a girlfriend and all that. It was stupid of me.”
“No it’s not that.” he immediately denied. “It’s just.. I really suck at acting. People can see in a blink when I’m lying.” He sent her a sheepish smile, but was called away by another customer before she could respond. She was left to ponder over the possibilities by herself again. When he sat back down, she looked up to find the other customers had paid the bill and left, so they were the only ones now. He sighed as he thought over the situation again. “I wish I could help you out, though.” he then said.
“Maybe you can.” she suddenly piped up, an idea forming in her head. His worried face made her grin. “Don’t worry, it doesn’t involve any pretending. We can just take a picture of the two of us with my phone like couples do, making a cute face or something?” At that, he started smiling.
“That’s a good idea!” he agreed. “We can do it now if you want? It’s a public place, makes it all the more believing.” She looked around for a moment, feeling slightly awkward, but then deciding that he was right and that it didn’t really matter where they took the picture anyway.
So she took out her phone and he immediately moved closer to drape his arm around her shoulders. They took a bunch of pictures, ranging from cute to funny to absolutely embarrassing. At one point he even patted her head and told her he’d call her milkshake from now on, for as long as the summer lasted. She chuckled at that and as she lifted her milkshake glass happily to empty it, he snapped a solo shot of her with his own phone. She frowned at that, making him show her the picture. She actually didn’t look too bad, so she was okay with him keeping it.
“Hey I have to get back to work now, before the boss comes by and sees me messing around.” he told her as he pocketed his phone again. Before she caught what was going on, he had leaned in and pressed a kiss on her cheek. For a moment she froze in shock, but then she turned to look at him. He was calmly looking back, not seeming the least bit embarrassed. She frowned, slightly confused and unsure of what to make of it, whether to take it as just a kiss or see more behind it, but before she could open her mouth, he smiled and ruffled her hair.
“Don’t worry.” he then said. “I’m fine with sticking around in your friend life until you finish your studies and feel ready to think about your love life.” He grinned as he got up from his chair and picked up her empty milkshake glass to take it to the bar with him, leaving her staring after him with a feeling that probably could be named best as ‘speechless.’
It was there, at that moment, that she realised he was either mentally deranged or an angel sent from heaven, but either way, it made her feel happy that she was allowed to call him a friend.
Fic Challenge - 039; All the people [14/100]
Title: All the people
Characters: Hankyung/Donghae
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.432
Summary: He's 28 now, but he doesn't have a clue where he's going.
A/N: This story is somehow a continuation of my previous shot, but it can also be read without reading the other. This was originally the kind of plot I had in mind for the birthday fic, but when I reached the ending it has now, I felt that it was better like that, because it was after all a birthday shot and not supposed to be depressing or anything. (Well that kinda didn't work since everyone seemed to cry over it anyway, but yeah..) Anyway, so this is the continuation of that other shot, but also something seperate. I decided I have a liking for Hangeng now and I might just write more of his drabbles from my Suju Fics Challenge, but we'll see about that later. For now, enjoy (?) this piece of work. I'm not quite sure if I like it or not, but it's not bad. :)
Prequel
- - - - -
“How is everyone?” the eldest of the two asks, his voice barely more than a mumble as his eyes skim the dimly lit plants and flowers.
“Fine. They’re fine. We’re all fine. Let’s not talk about us. Today is yours, so talk about you, hyung.” the other answers, casually slipping his hands halfway into the pockets of his jeans. They are walking through the small park that is only a few blocks away from the dumpling store. They’re the only two people out on the streets at this time of day – or night. In the distance the faded sounds of cars are audible, but they are easily ignored. “How are you?”
The question makes Hangeng look up at the other, sending a small smile his way. “You always know, don’t you?” he asks, making the other smile and shrug without saying a word. For a while the silence lasts as Hangeng looks past his friend and the latter calmly waits. Then he sighs and shrugs. “You know how you sometimes just want a break from things?”
It sounds so familiar to him that Donghae can’t help but chuckle as he nods. “Don’t we all?” he then replies, strolling to a bench near the side of the road and sitting down. He lets his head fall backwards, looking up at the sky like that. It doesn’t take long for Hangeng to take the spot next to him, soon leaning back as well so they are both looking at the same stars again. “But it’s what you do with the feeling that makes it bearable or not. Do you really think you will give up?”
There is silence, a silence that says more than any words the elder could have used, and Donghae sighs, turning his face from the stars back to Hangeng. “Of all the people in the company, you were the one to sue them..” he speaks, his voice soft, as if he knows he was prodding at wounds still too fresh to really touch. “I know you thought about it for a long time before deciding, so are you just going to throw that decision away now by doubting it and giving up what you have?”
It looks like Hangeng is going to talk back as he lifts his head as well and looks at his younger friend, but Donghae leaves him no chance to talk. “No, listen to me hyung. You decided this and there may be people against it, but it was your choice. You believed in it when you made it, keep believing in it. Keep believing in yourself. You aren’t one to just do without thinking, so keep going on, it’s worth it. You’re living your dream.”
“I’m living A dream, Hae, many people’s dream, but it’s never really been mine. I never had the passion to become a singer. Not like some of the others who dreamt of it all their lives. I was a dancer and I liked it. I had some future plan that involved opening a dance school, but most of all I expected to get a normal job and earn money to feed my family. Now I do what? Live up to other people’ s expectations? I’m twenty-eight and I don’t even have a girlfriend. I’m at an age where many others would start to get pushed into marriage by their parents, but mine just tell me to live my dream. Everyone tells me to live my dream while I can. What if it’s not my damn dream?”
Hangeng falls silent, his gaze having dropped to the ground in the middle of his rant, his thoughts felt heavy as he spoke them, yet somehow his head seems lighter when he stops talking. He glances up from the corner of his eyes, only to see Donghae smiling up at the night sky again. It seems like there’s nothing that can phase him today, where he would normally be crying after one bad word. When the younger finally turns his head and looks at him, Hangeng swears he sees wisdom beyond age in those eyes.
“You have all the possible means to live your dream, hyung.” Donghae speaks, lifting a hand to put it on the other’s shoulder shortly, before dropping it again. “You have feet to take you to the places you want to be, you have a mouth to tell others what it is you want, you have parents that support what you do and you have money that can help you getting there. The sky is the limit, hyung.”
Again they lapse into a silence, as Hangeng tries to find something to say written on the little path the bench is situated on, and Donghae is peacefully looking up at the sky again. Of course the younger is right, but sometimes Hangeng doesn’t want to hear the right words and just wants someone to agree with him. This is one of those times. For a while all that can be heard is the cars in the distance and the calm breathing of two men sitting on a bench in an empty park.
“See those stars, hyung?” A gentle hand is lifted and a finger points up to the sky, now filled with plenty of stars. “Those three in a row over there.” Hangeng spots the stars Donghae’s talking about and smiles slightly. “We made up some story about them, do you remember?” There’s a kind of childlike innocence in the question and Hangeng recognises the Donghae he knows again; the one who doesn’t see a bad thing in the world.
“Yeah I remember.” he replies, letting the memories of old days trickle into his mind and fill him with a nostalgic feeling. “It was you who made up stories about everything. I just sat there and listened.” he then mumbles, because he doesn’t want to take part of the credit.
“But it was because you listened that I made them up. If I would have sat there alone, I would not have come up with all the things I did.” Donghae contradicts him, only to chuckle moments later and drop a hand on his knee. “You know what? I feel like ice cream. Is there some place around here that sells ice cream?” Hangeng laughs, because he feels like it and there’s no reason to stop it. It’s the first laugh since the start of his birthday and it feels strangely freeing.
Twenty minutes later they’ve walked by every close-by ice cream store Hangeng could come up with, but there’s none still open. When Hangeng tries to offer going home and find some ice cream there, Donghae merely laughs and runs over to the first house where there’s some lights on. He rings the doorbell and comes back a while later with two popsicles and the widest grin as of yet on his face. He stuffs a rocket into Hangeng’s hand, and puts the other one in his own mouth with an expression that speaks of so much delight it’s adorable.
Hangeng wonders where Donghae learned that much Chinese, but decides not to ask as he enjoys his own popsicle. There’s stars shining in Donghae’s eyes and he feels the spark of courage in himself as well as Donghae licks the sticky water from his fingers with a mischievous grin. Before he knows it there’s a line of sticky red liquid on his cheek and Donghae is a few meters away already, laughing heartily at his own prank.
They spend the following hours walking around the city, gossiping about the other members, reminiscing the good old days and for some reason even playing tags at some point.
At four in the morning, Donghae takes a cab back to the airport to catch the first flight back home, but he stuffs a piece of paper in Hangeng’s hands first, claiming it’s a birthday gift. More specifically a ticket to this thing he likes.
When he unfolds the paper at home later that night, he reveals a line of quickly scribbled Korean that says; ‘One ticket to your future (we’ll be there too).’ and a cutely drawn smiley face. He smiles at everything for the rest of the day despite his severe lack of sleep and during the variety show filming that afternoon, he cracks the most jokes among all the guests.
Of all the people that could have visited him on his birthday, he’s glad Donghae was the one to actually buy a ticket and get on a plane, because the stars have never held more meaning than when he is around.
Characters: Hankyung/Donghae
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.432
Summary: He's 28 now, but he doesn't have a clue where he's going.
A/N: This story is somehow a continuation of my previous shot, but it can also be read without reading the other. This was originally the kind of plot I had in mind for the birthday fic, but when I reached the ending it has now, I felt that it was better like that, because it was after all a birthday shot and not supposed to be depressing or anything. (Well that kinda didn't work since everyone seemed to cry over it anyway, but yeah..) Anyway, so this is the continuation of that other shot, but also something seperate. I decided I have a liking for Hangeng now and I might just write more of his drabbles from my Suju Fics Challenge, but we'll see about that later. For now, enjoy (?) this piece of work. I'm not quite sure if I like it or not, but it's not bad. :)
Prequel
- - - - -
“How is everyone?” the eldest of the two asks, his voice barely more than a mumble as his eyes skim the dimly lit plants and flowers.
“Fine. They’re fine. We’re all fine. Let’s not talk about us. Today is yours, so talk about you, hyung.” the other answers, casually slipping his hands halfway into the pockets of his jeans. They are walking through the small park that is only a few blocks away from the dumpling store. They’re the only two people out on the streets at this time of day – or night. In the distance the faded sounds of cars are audible, but they are easily ignored. “How are you?”
The question makes Hangeng look up at the other, sending a small smile his way. “You always know, don’t you?” he asks, making the other smile and shrug without saying a word. For a while the silence lasts as Hangeng looks past his friend and the latter calmly waits. Then he sighs and shrugs. “You know how you sometimes just want a break from things?”
It sounds so familiar to him that Donghae can’t help but chuckle as he nods. “Don’t we all?” he then replies, strolling to a bench near the side of the road and sitting down. He lets his head fall backwards, looking up at the sky like that. It doesn’t take long for Hangeng to take the spot next to him, soon leaning back as well so they are both looking at the same stars again. “But it’s what you do with the feeling that makes it bearable or not. Do you really think you will give up?”
There is silence, a silence that says more than any words the elder could have used, and Donghae sighs, turning his face from the stars back to Hangeng. “Of all the people in the company, you were the one to sue them..” he speaks, his voice soft, as if he knows he was prodding at wounds still too fresh to really touch. “I know you thought about it for a long time before deciding, so are you just going to throw that decision away now by doubting it and giving up what you have?”
It looks like Hangeng is going to talk back as he lifts his head as well and looks at his younger friend, but Donghae leaves him no chance to talk. “No, listen to me hyung. You decided this and there may be people against it, but it was your choice. You believed in it when you made it, keep believing in it. Keep believing in yourself. You aren’t one to just do without thinking, so keep going on, it’s worth it. You’re living your dream.”
“I’m living A dream, Hae, many people’s dream, but it’s never really been mine. I never had the passion to become a singer. Not like some of the others who dreamt of it all their lives. I was a dancer and I liked it. I had some future plan that involved opening a dance school, but most of all I expected to get a normal job and earn money to feed my family. Now I do what? Live up to other people’ s expectations? I’m twenty-eight and I don’t even have a girlfriend. I’m at an age where many others would start to get pushed into marriage by their parents, but mine just tell me to live my dream. Everyone tells me to live my dream while I can. What if it’s not my damn dream?”
Hangeng falls silent, his gaze having dropped to the ground in the middle of his rant, his thoughts felt heavy as he spoke them, yet somehow his head seems lighter when he stops talking. He glances up from the corner of his eyes, only to see Donghae smiling up at the night sky again. It seems like there’s nothing that can phase him today, where he would normally be crying after one bad word. When the younger finally turns his head and looks at him, Hangeng swears he sees wisdom beyond age in those eyes.
“You have all the possible means to live your dream, hyung.” Donghae speaks, lifting a hand to put it on the other’s shoulder shortly, before dropping it again. “You have feet to take you to the places you want to be, you have a mouth to tell others what it is you want, you have parents that support what you do and you have money that can help you getting there. The sky is the limit, hyung.”
Again they lapse into a silence, as Hangeng tries to find something to say written on the little path the bench is situated on, and Donghae is peacefully looking up at the sky again. Of course the younger is right, but sometimes Hangeng doesn’t want to hear the right words and just wants someone to agree with him. This is one of those times. For a while all that can be heard is the cars in the distance and the calm breathing of two men sitting on a bench in an empty park.
“See those stars, hyung?” A gentle hand is lifted and a finger points up to the sky, now filled with plenty of stars. “Those three in a row over there.” Hangeng spots the stars Donghae’s talking about and smiles slightly. “We made up some story about them, do you remember?” There’s a kind of childlike innocence in the question and Hangeng recognises the Donghae he knows again; the one who doesn’t see a bad thing in the world.
“Yeah I remember.” he replies, letting the memories of old days trickle into his mind and fill him with a nostalgic feeling. “It was you who made up stories about everything. I just sat there and listened.” he then mumbles, because he doesn’t want to take part of the credit.
“But it was because you listened that I made them up. If I would have sat there alone, I would not have come up with all the things I did.” Donghae contradicts him, only to chuckle moments later and drop a hand on his knee. “You know what? I feel like ice cream. Is there some place around here that sells ice cream?” Hangeng laughs, because he feels like it and there’s no reason to stop it. It’s the first laugh since the start of his birthday and it feels strangely freeing.
Twenty minutes later they’ve walked by every close-by ice cream store Hangeng could come up with, but there’s none still open. When Hangeng tries to offer going home and find some ice cream there, Donghae merely laughs and runs over to the first house where there’s some lights on. He rings the doorbell and comes back a while later with two popsicles and the widest grin as of yet on his face. He stuffs a rocket into Hangeng’s hand, and puts the other one in his own mouth with an expression that speaks of so much delight it’s adorable.
Hangeng wonders where Donghae learned that much Chinese, but decides not to ask as he enjoys his own popsicle. There’s stars shining in Donghae’s eyes and he feels the spark of courage in himself as well as Donghae licks the sticky water from his fingers with a mischievous grin. Before he knows it there’s a line of sticky red liquid on his cheek and Donghae is a few meters away already, laughing heartily at his own prank.
They spend the following hours walking around the city, gossiping about the other members, reminiscing the good old days and for some reason even playing tags at some point.
At four in the morning, Donghae takes a cab back to the airport to catch the first flight back home, but he stuffs a piece of paper in Hangeng’s hands first, claiming it’s a birthday gift. More specifically a ticket to this thing he likes.
When he unfolds the paper at home later that night, he reveals a line of quickly scribbled Korean that says; ‘One ticket to your future (we’ll be there too).’ and a cutely drawn smiley face. He smiles at everything for the rest of the day despite his severe lack of sleep and during the variety show filming that afternoon, he cracks the most jokes among all the guests.
Of all the people that could have visited him on his birthday, he’s glad Donghae was the one to actually buy a ticket and get on a plane, because the stars have never held more meaning than when he is around.
[FIC] Happy Birthday
Title: Happy Birthday
Characters: Hangeng, Donghae
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.057
Summary: It's the first time Hangeng spends his birthday so far away from his friends.
A/N: So I felt the sudden urge to write a Hangeng story as it was his birthday after all. I asked my dear unni for a friendship Hangeng pairing & she gave me Hanhae, which is why you're here, reading the A/N of a Hanhae story now. Originally the plot for this was longer than what this story is, but I liked the ending as it is now. Iwill probably (maybe not) write wrote the rest of the plot into a different one-shot that I might or might not did post up here as well. As for now, enjoy this little piece of my imagination that holds a great love for a certain Chinese gentleman whom I want to squish loads right now. :)
Sequel
- - - - -
He was sitting in a corner of the dumpling store, sharing a meal with his parents for the first time in a long time. It was a mild February evening, the one right before his birthday actually, and the store was swarming with customers. Every now and then a fan would come up to ask for his autograph or to take a picture, others came to have a small conversation or wish him an early happy birthday, but in general they left him alone quite nicely.
As time passed, more and more people started to leave, but a select few stayed around a little longer. Because the store would be closed the next day, it was exclusively opened until midnight that evening and there were many who took advantage of that. He remained in his spot in the corner of the store, taking the birthday greetings from people with a smile and picking up his phone when he got a text every now and then.
It was close to midnight when suddenly the happy tune of some Chinese song sounded up from his phone. He automatically reached for it, picking up without looking at the caller ID, as he had a good idea of who it would be. The same person always called him up at the same time, the day before his birthday. He was late this day. Or early; depending on how one would look at it.
“Hey hyung.” it sounded through the phone, the voice slightly different from usual because of the rustle on the line, but still with the same seemingly never changing happy tone in it. “I’m sorry for being late, but happy birthday. I wanted to tell you face to face, yet someone thought it a good idea to run off to China so I couldn’t. I wonder who that idiot was, huh? Anyway, where’s the party this year? I hope you at least got free schedules so you can celebrate..?”
He was smiling widely because of the other’s words and didn’t hide his happiness as he replied with an amused “Thanks, Hae.” He had been a little unsure if Donghae would call. Ever since they met, the younger had dutifully wished him a happy birthday at midnight, the start of his birthday. Whether he did that in person or over the phone, Hae always managed to say it every year. But now that he had gone to China, he had feared the call might have been too expensive for the younger to make, so he was glad Donghae had still called.
“I actually have to film for a variety show tomorrow, but it’s only in the afternoon so I can sleep in for once. I don’t think there’s a birthday party going on, though, unless they’ve arranged a surprise party behind my back.” he continued talking after the short silence that had ensued as he pondered over his own luck. The reply came immediate, Donghae’s happy voice ringing in his ears as if he wasn’t miles away, but right beside him.
“I’m sure they did. Who could resist throwing you a birthday party, eh hyung?” the younger piped. There were some sounds in the background as if there were other people around and Hangeng figured Donghae was not alone wherever he was, yet something else grabbed his attention before he could ask about the younger’s whereabouts.
“Hae, about you being sorry for being late; you don’t have to be. Did you forget I’m one hour behind on Seoul now? It’s not yet midnight here, so you’re actually early.” he brought up the new thoughts, making the other side of the line become silent for a moment. When the silence didn’t seem to change, he got a little worried, so he tried to make sure the other was still there. “Hae?” he inquired, watching how the last customer got up and left.
“Yes I’m still here, hyung, don’t worry. I just had to answer someone for a moment.” the reply immediately came. He realised Donghae must have put his hand on the speaker, which explained the sudden silence. Before he could repeat himself in case Donghae didn’t catch it, the other continued talking. “But you’re right, hyung. I forgot China is one hour behind on Korea. I guess I still am in time then. Ain’t I awesome?”
“You are. You still broke your tradition of telling me exactly at midnight, though, that’s still a few minutes away.” Hangeng countered, unable to hide his grin as Donghae’s Mokpo dialect sounded through in his words. The younger chuckled as well.
“Ah, well.. I guess it can’t be helped.” he then sighed.
A short silence fell as they both listened to the noise on the line. This time Donghae was the one to break it again. “Say, do you want to watch the stars with me, hyung?” he asked in a soft voice, as if thinking back to something.
The question brought many memories back to Hangeng’s mind as well and he was up and walking to the door before being fully aware of it. He opened the door and walked out into the night, stopping at the side of the pavement and looking up at the sky. The street lights made him unable to see many stars, but he still tried his best.
“There’s not that many to be seen right now..” he said, belatedly remembering he hadn’t answered his friend. “But I’ll try searching for the ones we always used to look at.” He stared up at the night sky a moment longer, before he spoke again, his voice soft as he remembered days long gone. “Do you remember the first year we did this? When I missed my parents and you tried to cheer me up by showing me I was still living under the same stars they are..”
“I remember.” the reply came, just as soft, but moments later it was followed by a slightly more cheerful. “Hey hyung…it’s midnight.”
He wanted to ask something or crack a joke about him being officially old now, but two arms slipped around his middle before he could, and a head was rested against his back in the next moment. “Happy birthday, hyung.” the voice he had heard through a noisy connection mere moments before then sounded soft and clear from behind him.
Characters: Hangeng, Donghae
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.057
Summary: It's the first time Hangeng spends his birthday so far away from his friends.
A/N: So I felt the sudden urge to write a Hangeng story as it was his birthday after all. I asked my dear unni for a friendship Hangeng pairing & she gave me Hanhae, which is why you're here, reading the A/N of a Hanhae story now. Originally the plot for this was longer than what this story is, but I liked the ending as it is now. I
Sequel
- - - - -
He was sitting in a corner of the dumpling store, sharing a meal with his parents for the first time in a long time. It was a mild February evening, the one right before his birthday actually, and the store was swarming with customers. Every now and then a fan would come up to ask for his autograph or to take a picture, others came to have a small conversation or wish him an early happy birthday, but in general they left him alone quite nicely.
As time passed, more and more people started to leave, but a select few stayed around a little longer. Because the store would be closed the next day, it was exclusively opened until midnight that evening and there were many who took advantage of that. He remained in his spot in the corner of the store, taking the birthday greetings from people with a smile and picking up his phone when he got a text every now and then.
It was close to midnight when suddenly the happy tune of some Chinese song sounded up from his phone. He automatically reached for it, picking up without looking at the caller ID, as he had a good idea of who it would be. The same person always called him up at the same time, the day before his birthday. He was late this day. Or early; depending on how one would look at it.
“Hey hyung.” it sounded through the phone, the voice slightly different from usual because of the rustle on the line, but still with the same seemingly never changing happy tone in it. “I’m sorry for being late, but happy birthday. I wanted to tell you face to face, yet someone thought it a good idea to run off to China so I couldn’t. I wonder who that idiot was, huh? Anyway, where’s the party this year? I hope you at least got free schedules so you can celebrate..?”
He was smiling widely because of the other’s words and didn’t hide his happiness as he replied with an amused “Thanks, Hae.” He had been a little unsure if Donghae would call. Ever since they met, the younger had dutifully wished him a happy birthday at midnight, the start of his birthday. Whether he did that in person or over the phone, Hae always managed to say it every year. But now that he had gone to China, he had feared the call might have been too expensive for the younger to make, so he was glad Donghae had still called.
“I actually have to film for a variety show tomorrow, but it’s only in the afternoon so I can sleep in for once. I don’t think there’s a birthday party going on, though, unless they’ve arranged a surprise party behind my back.” he continued talking after the short silence that had ensued as he pondered over his own luck. The reply came immediate, Donghae’s happy voice ringing in his ears as if he wasn’t miles away, but right beside him.
“I’m sure they did. Who could resist throwing you a birthday party, eh hyung?” the younger piped. There were some sounds in the background as if there were other people around and Hangeng figured Donghae was not alone wherever he was, yet something else grabbed his attention before he could ask about the younger’s whereabouts.
“Hae, about you being sorry for being late; you don’t have to be. Did you forget I’m one hour behind on Seoul now? It’s not yet midnight here, so you’re actually early.” he brought up the new thoughts, making the other side of the line become silent for a moment. When the silence didn’t seem to change, he got a little worried, so he tried to make sure the other was still there. “Hae?” he inquired, watching how the last customer got up and left.
“Yes I’m still here, hyung, don’t worry. I just had to answer someone for a moment.” the reply immediately came. He realised Donghae must have put his hand on the speaker, which explained the sudden silence. Before he could repeat himself in case Donghae didn’t catch it, the other continued talking. “But you’re right, hyung. I forgot China is one hour behind on Korea. I guess I still am in time then. Ain’t I awesome?”
“You are. You still broke your tradition of telling me exactly at midnight, though, that’s still a few minutes away.” Hangeng countered, unable to hide his grin as Donghae’s Mokpo dialect sounded through in his words. The younger chuckled as well.
“Ah, well.. I guess it can’t be helped.” he then sighed.
A short silence fell as they both listened to the noise on the line. This time Donghae was the one to break it again. “Say, do you want to watch the stars with me, hyung?” he asked in a soft voice, as if thinking back to something.
The question brought many memories back to Hangeng’s mind as well and he was up and walking to the door before being fully aware of it. He opened the door and walked out into the night, stopping at the side of the pavement and looking up at the sky. The street lights made him unable to see many stars, but he still tried his best.
“There’s not that many to be seen right now..” he said, belatedly remembering he hadn’t answered his friend. “But I’ll try searching for the ones we always used to look at.” He stared up at the night sky a moment longer, before he spoke again, his voice soft as he remembered days long gone. “Do you remember the first year we did this? When I missed my parents and you tried to cheer me up by showing me I was still living under the same stars they are..”
“I remember.” the reply came, just as soft, but moments later it was followed by a slightly more cheerful. “Hey hyung…it’s midnight.”
He wanted to ask something or crack a joke about him being officially old now, but two arms slipped around his middle before he could, and a head was rested against his back in the next moment. “Happy birthday, hyung.” the voice he had heard through a noisy connection mere moments before then sounded soft and clear from behind him.
Fic Challenge - 044; Rejection [13/100]
Title: Rejection
Characters: Eunhyuk/Eunhyuk
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 600
Summary: Parts of a love he couldn't leave behind swallow him whole on his way out the door.
A/N: This is.. Pretty much how messed up my mind is right now. If you are not good at seeing images behind words, this might not mean the slightest bit to you. It might be weird to some, very strange to others, but it is as it is now, because this is what came out of me. The first piece I write in weeks after having a writing slump. I don't expect anything from myself anymore.
- - - - -
There’s words at the tips of his fingers but they won’t come out. He just sits, stares at the screen and thinks that maybe – just maybe – this is all it gets. But then there’s flashes of memories and distant giggles and laughter, and he figures that there’s more than this, but he just doesn’t have it at the moment.
So he paints his questions to the world with the brush of his life and he tears her words straight out of her mouth before she can even say them. It’s funny how she does so much yet so little at the same time, while somewhere distantly far away, he sits and watches her, wondering how it would be if she used those hands for what they were meant to instead of for the work she does to pay her bills.
But it’s useless, trying to make holes in what she considers her daily routine, because he knows she will just fill them up again with to do’s and to let go of’s. She’s silent as she walks through the hallways of her future, doing some interior designing in her mind. She picks the paintings that will grace the walls, writes the invites for the ones she wants to walk there with her as she smiles that toothy smile that is so her.
He figures it’s time for him to turn away and look at his own hallway of the future, but he sees nothing but black and empty, a world that deserves no paintings or guest invites, because who would he want to drag along into something like that? He tried to make it look brighter by installing some lights and adding some variations, yet it all seems useless as the floor is covered in dust and the electricity doesn’t work.
For once, he finds himself really thinking that maybe – just maybe – this is all it will get from now on, that somewhere between blankets and faded jeans he lost touch with reality and she will not come back to him, but it’s hard to really accept that idea, so he lets go of it again. There’s a slight touch of gentle in the way she closes the door in front of him when he tries to enter her hallway, but there’s also a certain feel of finality that makes him realise this is really it.
So he drags himself back to his own place of darkness and despair, tries to stumble his way from one door to the next, clinging onto the little strands of hope that are his insanity. It feels alright to go insane if it takes him through the day, so he just lets go of his mind, his desires and runs, runs with eyes wide open into the vicinity of his life.
Two steps before he reaches freedom, he stumbles over reality and falls face down on the floor with no hopes of getting up again and he feels like it’s alright that way, so he doesn’t try to get up anymore, despite the hands pulling at his shirt and arms. He feels like going down is the only chance of getting away of it all, so he doesn’t care about the ones he leaves behind and just falls, dives deeper and deeper into the forgotten.
It’s five years after the break-up when he dies due to a drunken driver hitting him on the side of the road, but the last thing he sees before darkness pulls him in is that toothy smile that is so much her and he lets go with a smile.
Characters: Eunhyuk/Eunhyuk
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 600
Summary: Parts of a love he couldn't leave behind swallow him whole on his way out the door.
A/N: This is.. Pretty much how messed up my mind is right now. If you are not good at seeing images behind words, this might not mean the slightest bit to you. It might be weird to some, very strange to others, but it is as it is now, because this is what came out of me. The first piece I write in weeks after having a writing slump. I don't expect anything from myself anymore.
- - - - -
There’s words at the tips of his fingers but they won’t come out. He just sits, stares at the screen and thinks that maybe – just maybe – this is all it gets. But then there’s flashes of memories and distant giggles and laughter, and he figures that there’s more than this, but he just doesn’t have it at the moment.
So he paints his questions to the world with the brush of his life and he tears her words straight out of her mouth before she can even say them. It’s funny how she does so much yet so little at the same time, while somewhere distantly far away, he sits and watches her, wondering how it would be if she used those hands for what they were meant to instead of for the work she does to pay her bills.
But it’s useless, trying to make holes in what she considers her daily routine, because he knows she will just fill them up again with to do’s and to let go of’s. She’s silent as she walks through the hallways of her future, doing some interior designing in her mind. She picks the paintings that will grace the walls, writes the invites for the ones she wants to walk there with her as she smiles that toothy smile that is so her.
He figures it’s time for him to turn away and look at his own hallway of the future, but he sees nothing but black and empty, a world that deserves no paintings or guest invites, because who would he want to drag along into something like that? He tried to make it look brighter by installing some lights and adding some variations, yet it all seems useless as the floor is covered in dust and the electricity doesn’t work.
For once, he finds himself really thinking that maybe – just maybe – this is all it will get from now on, that somewhere between blankets and faded jeans he lost touch with reality and she will not come back to him, but it’s hard to really accept that idea, so he lets go of it again. There’s a slight touch of gentle in the way she closes the door in front of him when he tries to enter her hallway, but there’s also a certain feel of finality that makes him realise this is really it.
So he drags himself back to his own place of darkness and despair, tries to stumble his way from one door to the next, clinging onto the little strands of hope that are his insanity. It feels alright to go insane if it takes him through the day, so he just lets go of his mind, his desires and runs, runs with eyes wide open into the vicinity of his life.
Two steps before he reaches freedom, he stumbles over reality and falls face down on the floor with no hopes of getting up again and he feels like it’s alright that way, so he doesn’t try to get up anymore, despite the hands pulling at his shirt and arms. He feels like going down is the only chance of getting away of it all, so he doesn’t care about the ones he leaves behind and just falls, dives deeper and deeper into the forgotten.
It’s five years after the break-up when he dies due to a drunken driver hitting him on the side of the road, but the last thing he sees before darkness pulls him in is that toothy smile that is so much her and he lets go with a smile.
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