[FIC] Where'd you go

Title: Where'd you go
Characters: Kibum, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1.518
Summary: He should have known that she wouldn't stay forever.
A/N: This song (Where'd You Go? - Fort Minor) has been stuck in my head for months, nagging at me, begging me to write a story with it. So finally I managed to get this thing out of my fingers. I was in a sad mood when writing, yet I did not cry at all, so I don't know if this is really that sad or not. The blue part of the lyrics is what goes through the guy's head while the story's going on, the red part is things the girl said to him. I did not edit the lyrics of the song, just fit them in between. Please enjoy reading. For people who can't take much sadness, I guess you best get some tissues..? ^^ Rated PG because of the song lyrics only. =)

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Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.

His heart was beating at an unimaginable rate. Every beat pounded loud in his ears and no matter what he did, the world seemed to keep flashing by with insane speed. He pushed his forehead against the cool window and sighed as he closed his eyes.

She said "Some days I feel like shit,
some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,

He realized he should have expected it from someone like her. She had never been one to show a lot of patience when it came to being unable to do anything, just hanging around in a house. It wasn’t her cup of tea at all. He should have known she would not simply take this life day by day. He remembered clearly that she had told him that ever so often.

And, I find myself trying to stay by the phone,
'cause your voice always helps me to not feel so alone,
but I feel like an idiot, working my day around the call,
but when I pick up I don't have much to say,

He had always been gone. Always practicing, performing, filming, going to shows,.. He had always been busy. He had spent less time than ever with her in the past years and it had been unfair towards her. She had known it would be like that from the beginning, but she had still supported him, told him so many times to follow his dream.
That was until he went home less and less, until their conversations existed of nothing but phone calls and e-mails. He had let go of her too much, concentrated on his dream too much. Now he had his dream, but she was gone.

So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating
telling you that I've had it with you and your career,
me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go”

She had complained to him about it. During one of their many phone calls she had told him her feelings. She had said to him she was growing tired of being ignored day after day. She had said she was tired of waiting for him to call or for him to maybe once come back home to see her.
He had always thought her love for him was enough to keep things lasting, but.. He wasn’t so sure anymore about that. In fact, he was utterly convinced he should have spent more time with her. It was too late now, however.

Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...

As he felt the ice-cold window cool his head, he also felt the tears starting to come up. He swallowed, pushing the tears back, yet it didn’t help much. No tears touched his cheeks, but the hurt started building up inside him.
His breathing became uneven as he forced himself to hold back the cries. Swallowing was harder every moment and he felt his throat ache from the hurt he was holding back. In his hand, the note she had left was already crumpled into a ball.

“You know the place where you used to live,
used to barbecue up burgers and ribs,
used to have a little party every Halloween with candy by the pile,
but now, you only stop by every once and a while,

He remembered playing around in the backyard as little children, just the two of them. They would play every possible game they could come up with, chasing each other around the block when playing tags.
He remembered good days with her. Hanging around on the couch, lazily watching movies. They would enjoy their time together even though they didn’t do much. Just being together had been enough for them.
He remembered her smile. She would always smile when he visited after a long time. She would approach him with a smile and then hug him and tell him how much she missed him.. Back when he still used to visit often.

Shit, I find myself just filling my time,
with anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doing fine, I’m planning to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find that you have something to say,

In the last months their phone calls had lessened, become nonexistent. Their e-mailing had faltered as well when his computer broke down and he had no way to get a new one soon.
She had told him in their last few calls that she was doing fine. That she was coping. She had told him she missed him and wanted him to come back, but it had seemed different. He should have realized it didn’t only seem that way, but really was different. If he had just noticed.

And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, at times debating,
telling you that I've had it with you and your career,
me and the rest of the family here singing “Where’d you go”

Her complaining had lessened with every phone call. More and more she had distanced herself from him and he had never noticed. He had been too caught up in fulfilling his dream, in becoming famous, in acting in great movies. He had put every bit of his energy into his work, so that, whenever he called her, he would mostly be halfway asleep while talking to her.
He had never noticed the damage he had caused her. The damage he had caused their relationship. He had never realized how she had suffered. Until now.

Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...

He let out a trembling sigh and then breathed in a new gulp of air. His throat hurt even more, feeling like it was being pressed together by invisible hands. He felt like throwing up. He felt like grabbing the nearest thing and throw it against the wall.
Never had he been more regretful for not talking. Never had he been more regretful for being the way he was. He grunted as he turned away from the window and walked towards the phone.

I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
that I'm stuck here waiting, no longer debating,
tired of sitting and hating and making these excuses,
for why you're not around, and feeling so useless,

He should have seen it coming. Someone like her would not sit around and wait like this. Not for anyone. Not even for him. She was proud, strong, willing to fight. She was not one to sit and wait while someone else did everything. He should have known that, if he had just spend more time with her. If he had just thought about her more often.

It seems one thing has been true all along,
you don't really know what you've got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
when you come back I won't be here and you can sing it...

But there was no turning things back. The worst had happened and it could not be undone anymore. When going home for a surprise visit he had found that she was gone. He had not noticed the empty spaces where her stuff should normally have been. He had not noticed anything until he burst through their bedroom door, desperate to find her.
He had found her note when he walked towards the bed. He had found the empty space when he opened the wardrobe. He had found the end of his life when he read her words.

Where'd you go?
I miss you so.
Seems like it's been forever,
that you've been gone.
Please come back home...

As he picked up the phone and dialled her number, he gritted his teeth and tried to swallow away the hurt in his chest. He ignored the suffocating feeling he had as he heard the dialling tone repeat itself. Beep after beep sounded, but she never picked up. He knew she wouldn’t. She hadn’t picked up the last fifteen times he called either.
When he was redirected to her voicemail, he listened to her familiar voice. The suffocating feeling increased by tenfold. He drew a deep, trembling breath before opening his mouth to talk.

Please come back home...

The four words she had said to him so often on the phone.

Please come back home...

The four words she had written to him at the end of every e-mail.

Please come back home...

The four words he now spoke into her voicemail for the umpteenth time in the past hour.

Please come back home...

But she did not respond anymore.