Title: Disguises
Characters: Yesung
Rating: G
Wordcount: 603
Summary: He's become a professional at hiding.
A/N: First thing I've written and finished in ages. I also don't know what this is supposed to mean or be but it is and that's all I can really say about it.
- - - - -
A joke, a weird face, a silly dance. Things to mask what lies beneath the surface. Things to hide what truly is inside. He uses them on a daily basis. Glasses, foundation, a longer fringe. He can’t remember the last time he went out without wondering whether others would see what he wanted them to see or if they would still be able to look past these disguises.
He doesn’t even know when it started; the insecurity. He remembers days when he was way surer of himself, when he didn’t give a damn about what others thought of him, when he was solely focused on his goal and not on everything that he might come across on his way towards that goal. Or maybe he just wishes that’s what he could remember and back then he was just as messed up as he is now. He doesn’t know. Maybe he’ll never know.
Everything is confusing and conflicting, his thoughts toppling over each other and stumbling into his memories as if at random. Sometimes he doesn’t even get himself anymore, feels so contradicted that he’s certain he’s in a dilemma where exactly half of him wants to do one thing and the other half wants to do another. What way do you go then? What do you do when the world looks like it’s going to fall down on your face if you don’t get your feet in the right direction?
Breathing out a sigh, he opens his eyes and looks at the picture in front of him again. Dark eyes almost hide beneath even darker strands of hair, a mouth pulled into a slight smile that would look genuine to him if he didn’t know better. The hands are in the picture too; small in comparison to the head. There’s a bunch of hands at the bottom of the picture, all stretched out to the singing person, to him, but he doesn’t care about them.
Maybe it started with the comments. Maybe it started when the cameras never filmed him for a good month straight before finally showing one single shot where he was in too. Maybe it’s just a thing that happens when you grow up and you start to realise that the world isn’t as nice of a place as you had always thought it was. When innocence fades and reality finally gets a chance to kick in all your doors and drag the monsters from under your bed to stick them right next to you underneath the blanket.
The reflection in the computer screen shows him his own bitter smile and he almost growls at it, until he remembers where he is and that there’s people trying to sleep in his near vicinity. Letting out a soft sigh instead, he reaches out and presses a finger against the screen, pushing up one corner of his mouth in his reflection and moving it up for real too. He does the same to the other corner until his smile is back to the perfectly rehearsed cuteness he had learned it should be.
It’s the best way to make everyone believe he is fine, to make them look past the little details that show otherwise. Smiling has always kept people from asking those questions he does not want to answer and in return they all smile back at him, making their own day brighter as well. Smiling is easy; it takes fewer muscles than getting out of bed or speaking. Smiling enables him to say nothing at all yet convince everyone that the world is a great place.
Smiling is the perfect disguise.
Showing posts with label yesung. Show all posts
Showing posts with label yesung. Show all posts
Thursday, 29 March 2012
Tuesday, 10 January 2012
[FIC] That Gay Thing
Title: That Gay Thing
Characters: Hyukjae, Donghae, Yesung, Sungmin, OC
Rating: PG-13
Chaptercount: 1/?
Summary: Playing the part of the struggling possibly-gay in their last year's school play, Hyukjae loses himself in the role and falls in love with another guy. He tells himself he's not gay, that he's just overdoing the getting-in-role thing, but for some reason it's not as convincing as he would like it to be.
A/N: An idea that came to me a while back. It's a plotline I want to write because it is a current day thing and I'd love to take on a more difficult topic for once. My updates may come very slow, but I'm determined to bring this story to a good end. I hope that with my view on these things and feelings I will not insult anyone. I have no idea how it feels for people who go through this (I'm also not a guy), but I'm trying to picture it the best I can~ ^-^
- - - - -
“Alright guys, listen up.” When Miss Park says those words, the rowdy bunch that are my classmates calms down and we all turn to the front of the classroom. It’s strange to be here again, sitting at these tables with all nine of my classmates, waiting for the teacher to tell us what this year’s going to be all about.
I assume it’s going to be different this year, however, since it’s my last year of university. At the end of this year I’ll hopefully graduate with a diploma in hand, successfully having gotten my major in acting. That’s probably what everyone else in this room wishes for as well. I for one know at least two other people who do. I turn to look at Donghae on my right, but before I can mutter anything to him, Miss Park continues talking.
“So… Welcome back everyone.” She smiles at us and lets her eyes wander over all the students present. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her smile but it’s still the same. “I’ll get straight to the point as to not waste this hour we have today. This year you guys will be doing all the work.” The words confuse me but I don’t have to wait for a decent explanation for too long because she soon continues talking.
“You have only one thing to do this school year. All of you are going to work together to write, direct and perform a play. There’s ten of you which will probably cover the main roles and the most important side roles. If you need more people, I’ll pick out some of the second years to help out and you can use the first years as stage fillers as well. You start now and will have to perform your play a week before graduation.” Once again Miss Park looks at all of us. “Any questions?”
I’m stunned into silence for a moment and I’m pretty sure everyone else is too, but then some hands rise and questions are starting to get asked. “What kind of play does it have to be? It’s not a musical, right,” someone asks, but I’m not quite sure who.
“Any kind you’d like. But you’re going to have to decorate the stage yourself, so I suggest you don’t make it too fictional.” It’s obvious that Miss Park is amused by the situation she has put us in, which shows from the way she’s eyeing us all with that happy smile. “I’ll be around to help you out as well, of course, but this has to come from all of you mainly. You’ll be graded on cooperation, dedication and your eventual acting. So I suggest you start with finding a plotline.”
She turns away after those words, busying herself with some papers on her desk and after a moment’s hesitation we’re all huddled together discussing possible plotlines and some of my classmates’ big ideas. There’s only so much inspiration we have in one hour of class, however, so the idea we settle for in the end is somewhat lame, or at least it is in my opinion: a love story, the famous guy in school with the unpopular, ugly girl.
We’ve voted for the main roles already. Donghae will take the lead because he’s amazing and Chaerim volunteered to play the main girl. It’s a role none of the other girls want to take because she’ll have to start out by changing pretty much everything about her appearance to be able to ‘become’ pretty throughout the play. The idea of wearing fake braces surprisingly doesn’t appeal to many people.
“Hyukkie!” Donghae punches my shoulder as we leave the classroom and I pretend to be hurt as I turn to look at him. “Why didn’t you volunteer for the main role?” Donghae asks as if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life not doing so. I chuckle and roll my eyes.
“Because you would have won anyway.” My words immediately make Donghae open his mouth to protest but I stop him with a slight raise of my hand. “Don’t protest. Let’s just face it that you’re the better actor out of the two of us. You know, more life experience and all that jazz. We learned about that in our second year.” Throughout my words Donghae’s expression becomes more sour and I know I’ve won the discussion. “So anyway, you playing against Chaerim, huh? I guess you already look forward to the kiss?”
It takes only a second for my best friend to punch my shoulder yet again, giving me a glare for giving away his secret so easily. It’s not like I’m very impressed by this show of his prudence but I give him an apologetic look anyway because I know Donghae thinks no one knows yet. He’s wrong in thinking that, of course, his crush is as obvious as... well, probably as obvious as sunshine on a rainy day. I don’t even know what kind of comparison that’s supposed to be but it sounds alright.
“I do, though,” Donghae admits after a while and I grin. It’s true and we both know it, he just likes to make a big deal out of denying and hiding it before admitting the truth. “I guess I look forward to it, just hoping she doesn’t look like a nerd anymore by then, that’s going to be somewhat awkward I guess?”
“Hey, don’t judge a book by its cover, Donghae!” I turn to see who has joined our conversation and smile upon spotting Eunyoung catching up with us. She’s one of our other close friends in class, someone we’ve known since the very first year in this university. I’m not quite sure but I think she might have a crush on Donghae, although that’s never been proven. Yet the way she constantly gravitates towards him makes it all the more plausible.
Donghae laughs as she throws her arm around his neck and ruffles her fist through his hair. They’re soon wrestling their way towards the exit of the building as I just follow along, smiling over their bickering. It’s the two of them that I assume will probably end up together one day, not Donghae and Chaerim, as much as he wishes for that to happen. Eunyoung matches with my friend in ways that go beyond love so I hope he’ll choose her and certainly doesn’t hurt her.
There’s not much we can do for the play at home so when Donghae offers to go out that evening I agree wholeheartedly, amused at the way he immediately calls up a few other friends. There’s some from the same course as them and then a few from high school who are now studying plenty of different things. He always calls up everyone but usually only three or four of them have time to make it over.
It’s the same this evening and we end up going out with Ryeowook, Siwon - who brings his girlfriend Minah - and Sungmin. Eunyoung goes along as well but as always she’ll have to leave by ten. Her parents don’t want her out that late for reasons unknown and she always complains about it. So far I’ve refrained from telling her that it’s for the best because after ten Donghae usually starts dancing with everything that has boobs and moves along with him.
The evening is nice, despite the fact that I don’t really know Sungmin nor Ryeowook that well while they’re the two who stay behind at the table with me when the others go to dance. We exchange some random small talk but it’s nothing interesting and I end up moving over to the dance floor as well in order to avoid more awkwardness. Since we have class still the next day, we all go home by midnight and I drop down on my bed with a content sigh.
It takes a while to fall asleep but once I do, my alarm clock wakes me after what seems like mere seconds. I’m surprisingly awake and it takes less long than usual for me to put on some clothes and set for class. When I enter, everyone’s already there aside from Miss Park. I settle on my usual seat next to Donghae and after a short good morning settle for watching him bicker with Eunyoung.
It doesn’t take long for our teacher to enter the classroom but we know she usually takes another minute or two before being ready so the buzzing of conversations doesn’t cease. I let my eyes wander over these people that I got to know so well over the past few years, smiling lightly at recalling some of the memories I share with them. It’s nice to be back in school, I conclude after a while, nice to be working together with them again.
“Miss Park, I would like to suggest something...” Everyone falls silent when Hwayoung suddenly speaks up. It’s not often that she raises her voice but when she does it’s usually interesting. I have a certain feeling of apprehension towards it today because suggestions usually also mean change and I’m fine with things being the way they are now.
“What would you like to suggest, Hwayoung? Anything you’d like to change?” Miss Park replies with a smile and a sigh escapes me. Here we go already.. Donghae nudges my side lightly, giving me a look that politely tells me to shut the heck up about it even though I’m not saying a word. I roll my eyes at him but try to keep my annoyance at bay.
“Actually I have a different plot to suggest. Perhaps we could write a play about a guy or a girl who falls in love with someone of the same gender. We could try to portray the inner struggle and how society’s going to bring those feelings down. I think it might open some people’s eyes towards this subject and perhaps some of the youngsters dealing with the same problems can feel inspired or find courage.”
I have to agree that the idea is noble if anything. The way she talks about it gives off the impression like she has been there herself but I find it better not to ask anything. Miss Park doesn’t seem to have the same reserve though. “That’s an interesting idea, Hwayoung, how did you come up with that,” she asks and I find myself wondering about the same thing.
“My brother moved to America two years ago together with his boyfriend because they weren’t accepted into the society here.” Hwayoung seems slightly hesitant to admit that fact but still continues anyway and a quick glance around the classroom tells me everyone’s paying attention to her now. “I’ve seen the things he’s been through and I wouldn’t want anyone to have to suffer like that. Not because of something as good as love.”
She smiles lightly but there’s a lot more in her eyes than that. I’m surprised exactly how much more there is and all of a sudden I find myself wanting to use this new plotline, just so I can get that girl to feel better and to help her spread this story to the other people.
“Well, it’s definitely a story I’d support,” Miss Park breaks through my reveries, smiling at Hwayoung still. “You want to take the main role?” As they probably all expect by then, Hwayoung quickly shakes her head. Our teacher’s eyes then move over to Donghae, going to Chaerim after that. “Either of you feel up for this role?”
Chaerim immediately shakes her head. “I’m sorry, miss, but I’d feel too awkward trying to pretend to be in love with one of my friends. Faking a crush is my weak spot,” she explains herself. I feel my eyes going to Donghae automatically after those words. He’s frowning, seemingly thinking it over, but I see the start of rejection forming in his mind.
“Donghae?” Miss Park asks next and now I’m no longer the only one looking at him. “You have to find someone to act opposite of you as well, though.” That seems to stump him even more because even though he doesn’t wordily reject the part, Miss Park already turns to Hwayoung with a regretful expression.
“I’ll do it.”
It takes a moment for everyone to realise who spoke, but then they’re all looking at me. “If Donghae plays the second main. And I refuse to kiss a guy. If you really want a kiss in it, you’ll have to hide our faces behind something or darken the stage before anything happened, otherwise it’s going to be one big, awkward mess.” I try not to mind too much that everyone’s staring, hiding my face slightly and especially NOT looking at Donghae nor Hwayoung.
“Donghae?” Miss Park asks again and I wait with bathed breath for his reaction. It’s silent for but a moment yet that short amount of time feels like a whole year to me.
“Alright,” Donghae agrees then and I can hear the smile in his words. “Hyuk and I will take the main roles.”
Two weeks later we have a pretty solid idea and a script that solely needs to have dialogues made and details added. Gongjae turned out to be one of a kind at coming up with plots and Hwayoung – being the one to come up with the main idea – has helped him out. The idea is simple, they say, but Donghae and I are the ones who have to fill in the dialogue as we go.
“Get into character,” Miss Park told us when we asked her about it. “When you two get into character you make up your own lines all the time anyway.”
It’s true, we often had times when we were acting and got into it so much that we just let our characters have their say. I am always convinced that Donghae is the one starting the adlibs, but he always says he just follows along with me. Miss Park concluded that we are both good at getting into character and becoming the person we’re acting out.
I still remember the one time that happened when Donghae was acting as a female character due to a lack of girls and he was PMS-ing for a good week afterwards.
What comes next is the creation of our decor. The story will mainly happen inside the main person’s school, but we also need a café where he’ll be meeting his soon-to-be-crush for the first time, the house where he’ll tell his parents and the dark alley he’ll get beat up in.
There’s many things we need to create for this play but Donghae and I have to practice the most so we got the other’s approval to work on the other things a little less. We need to create the dialogues after all, which is not as easy of a job as they all make it to be. So while everyone else is discussing the main school decor, we’re sitting at the back with my laptop in between us in order to come up with our first meeting.
“Alright. Let’s see. So we meet in a café where I am because..?” I start, opening the document with the script to scroll through to the right moment. “Main guy is invited by friends to an evening out where he meets other main. He is immediately intrigued by the other boy and as they develop a friendship, his feelings evolve..”
I look up at Donghae after that, raising my eyebrows a little and licking my lips suggestively as I scoot over towards him. “Hello there, gorgeous. What be your name?” I ask him in what’s supposedly a seductive way. For a moment he’s staring at me weirdly while I’m trying to keep a straight face, but then we’re both laughing and he shoves my arms away from him.
“This is going to be a long road,” he says with a small smile. “You do realise that at the end they’re going to be having actually mushy scenes, right?” I need a moment to grasp those words, but then I’m scrolling through the document towards the ending. “They end up together?” I squeak somewhat panicked, coming to the scene where the main character has the other main confessing to him. He doesn’t have any reply yet, though, but my hopeful glance at Donghae brings no solace. He looks pensive yet somehow certain of himself.
“They don’t have a set ending yet, Hyuk. Have you even read through the script at all last night? But well, it’s going to depend on how we make our characters come to life. Our dialogues are going to make or break their relationship, I guess.” He smiles at me amusedly for a moment and I know I won’t like what will come next. “You know how much I love happy endings, so pucker up big boy!” I make a disgusted sound at his kissy face and quickly push it away from me.
“Gross, Hae, very gross. If I’m ever going to kiss a man, it’s definitely not going to be you.” I make a face at him before turning back to the computer. “Alright, back to business. First scene, we’re in a bar, who starts the conversation.” Looking up at Donghae, I find him looking at me and it’s obvious that we both already know the answer.
“I would,” he says. “You’d be too much of an awkward stick.” I’d contradict that but our own first meeting proves otherwise. We met in a DVD store, he struck the conversation and I awkwardly answered him as best as possible. But then again, he thought I was a store worker because of the colour of my shirt while I was actually only finding some movies for my own. I like to think it was my good taste in movies that became the base for our friendship.
“You would,” I agree with him for that, and from there on we start to make our dialogues It’s a few hours well spent, while the others sketch and create the first ideas for the decor. Eunyoung is the one to come between us when our time’s up. She has to wave a hand in front of the computer screen to catch our attention and when we look up, everyone else is gone already.
“Class is over for today. We have to find the things we need as cheap as possible,” she explains to us and I nod in understanding while typing up the last part of the sentence we’re working on. Only then do I save the document and look up again.
Donghae is checking his phone to see whether he can get a ride home from his brother. Meanwhile Eunyoung is eyeing him longingly. I can’t help but chuckle and give her a subtle wink as she turns to look at me. She rolls her eyes but doesn’t comment – and how can she with Donghae sitting but inches away. I turn to him once more and hum something as I nudge his arm in hopes of getting his attention. He only looks up when he finishes his texting.
“Mind if I stay at yours tonight, Hyuk? We can work on the dialogues some more if you want?” The question isn’t rare, but it is unexpected as he doesn’t look very troubled today. It happens more often that Donghae stays over at my place for a night. The excuse is that he has to travel a long way to get home, reality is that his mother had another fight with her boyfriend of the week or that she had another nervous breakdown.
I don’t ask for the actual reason anymore. We long have gotten him an extra bed and my parents treat him like he is their actual son. “Sure, Hae,” is therefore what I reply easily. The smile on his face is immediate as he beams his happiness and relief at us.
“Thanks, dude. I did agree to meet with Donghwa first though, so I’ll meet you in an hour or two? Or do you want to come along?” He looks at Eunyoung for a moment and I look up at her as well at that. She’s trying not to look too obvious while shooting me hopeful glances. I smile apologetically as I focus on Donghae again.
“Sorry, promised to take Eunyoung out for pizza. It’s been ages since we had any. I’m sure you have enough to discuss with your brother.” The excuse is waterproof. Eunyoung and I never agreed on eating pizza but whenever she wants to talk to me, that’s exactly what we do and her relieved expression shows I understood her distress well.
“Ah, yes, alright. I’ll see you tonight then?” Donghae seems to be oblivious to our silent exchange, making it all the easier for me to keep up the pretences.
“Yeah, If I’m not back yet when you arrive you can just wait for me inside. I’m sure umma will provide you with anything you need.” He hums in understanding as he gets up. With a small nod at Eunyoung and me and a short wish of “I hope the pizza is good” he then leaves the classroom. Eunyoung and I look at the empty doorway a moment longer before eyeing each other.
“Poor him,” Eunyoung hums, making me smile with some regret. “I hope his mother will realise soon that she doesn’t need those other guys to be able to live. Donghae’s studies are all paid for by now and with the money Donghwa’s making they’re able to live just fine.”
I shrug slightly in reply. “She’s too proud to agree to take her son’s money to live on. But what are you admiring Donghwa so much for lately? Have you changed your allegiance to him instead of poor, unknowing Hae?” She throws her scarf at my head and I laugh as I pick it up from the table. “Thanks dear, it’s getting colder indeed and I needed one of those,” I tell her as I pack it away in my bag before looking up. “So what kind of pizza do you want?”
She manages her angry glare only a moment longer before she’s grinning at me and I don’t need long to grin back.
Characters: Hyukjae, Donghae, Yesung, Sungmin, OC
Rating: PG-13
Chaptercount: 1/?
Summary: Playing the part of the struggling possibly-gay in their last year's school play, Hyukjae loses himself in the role and falls in love with another guy. He tells himself he's not gay, that he's just overdoing the getting-in-role thing, but for some reason it's not as convincing as he would like it to be.
A/N: An idea that came to me a while back. It's a plotline I want to write because it is a current day thing and I'd love to take on a more difficult topic for once. My updates may come very slow, but I'm determined to bring this story to a good end. I hope that with my view on these things and feelings I will not insult anyone. I have no idea how it feels for people who go through this (I'm also not a guy), but I'm trying to picture it the best I can~ ^-^
- - - - -
“Alright guys, listen up.” When Miss Park says those words, the rowdy bunch that are my classmates calms down and we all turn to the front of the classroom. It’s strange to be here again, sitting at these tables with all nine of my classmates, waiting for the teacher to tell us what this year’s going to be all about.
I assume it’s going to be different this year, however, since it’s my last year of university. At the end of this year I’ll hopefully graduate with a diploma in hand, successfully having gotten my major in acting. That’s probably what everyone else in this room wishes for as well. I for one know at least two other people who do. I turn to look at Donghae on my right, but before I can mutter anything to him, Miss Park continues talking.
“So… Welcome back everyone.” She smiles at us and lets her eyes wander over all the students present. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen her smile but it’s still the same. “I’ll get straight to the point as to not waste this hour we have today. This year you guys will be doing all the work.” The words confuse me but I don’t have to wait for a decent explanation for too long because she soon continues talking.
“You have only one thing to do this school year. All of you are going to work together to write, direct and perform a play. There’s ten of you which will probably cover the main roles and the most important side roles. If you need more people, I’ll pick out some of the second years to help out and you can use the first years as stage fillers as well. You start now and will have to perform your play a week before graduation.” Once again Miss Park looks at all of us. “Any questions?”
I’m stunned into silence for a moment and I’m pretty sure everyone else is too, but then some hands rise and questions are starting to get asked. “What kind of play does it have to be? It’s not a musical, right,” someone asks, but I’m not quite sure who.
“Any kind you’d like. But you’re going to have to decorate the stage yourself, so I suggest you don’t make it too fictional.” It’s obvious that Miss Park is amused by the situation she has put us in, which shows from the way she’s eyeing us all with that happy smile. “I’ll be around to help you out as well, of course, but this has to come from all of you mainly. You’ll be graded on cooperation, dedication and your eventual acting. So I suggest you start with finding a plotline.”
She turns away after those words, busying herself with some papers on her desk and after a moment’s hesitation we’re all huddled together discussing possible plotlines and some of my classmates’ big ideas. There’s only so much inspiration we have in one hour of class, however, so the idea we settle for in the end is somewhat lame, or at least it is in my opinion: a love story, the famous guy in school with the unpopular, ugly girl.
We’ve voted for the main roles already. Donghae will take the lead because he’s amazing and Chaerim volunteered to play the main girl. It’s a role none of the other girls want to take because she’ll have to start out by changing pretty much everything about her appearance to be able to ‘become’ pretty throughout the play. The idea of wearing fake braces surprisingly doesn’t appeal to many people.
“Hyukkie!” Donghae punches my shoulder as we leave the classroom and I pretend to be hurt as I turn to look at him. “Why didn’t you volunteer for the main role?” Donghae asks as if I’ve made the biggest mistake of my life not doing so. I chuckle and roll my eyes.
“Because you would have won anyway.” My words immediately make Donghae open his mouth to protest but I stop him with a slight raise of my hand. “Don’t protest. Let’s just face it that you’re the better actor out of the two of us. You know, more life experience and all that jazz. We learned about that in our second year.” Throughout my words Donghae’s expression becomes more sour and I know I’ve won the discussion. “So anyway, you playing against Chaerim, huh? I guess you already look forward to the kiss?”
It takes only a second for my best friend to punch my shoulder yet again, giving me a glare for giving away his secret so easily. It’s not like I’m very impressed by this show of his prudence but I give him an apologetic look anyway because I know Donghae thinks no one knows yet. He’s wrong in thinking that, of course, his crush is as obvious as... well, probably as obvious as sunshine on a rainy day. I don’t even know what kind of comparison that’s supposed to be but it sounds alright.
“I do, though,” Donghae admits after a while and I grin. It’s true and we both know it, he just likes to make a big deal out of denying and hiding it before admitting the truth. “I guess I look forward to it, just hoping she doesn’t look like a nerd anymore by then, that’s going to be somewhat awkward I guess?”
“Hey, don’t judge a book by its cover, Donghae!” I turn to see who has joined our conversation and smile upon spotting Eunyoung catching up with us. She’s one of our other close friends in class, someone we’ve known since the very first year in this university. I’m not quite sure but I think she might have a crush on Donghae, although that’s never been proven. Yet the way she constantly gravitates towards him makes it all the more plausible.
Donghae laughs as she throws her arm around his neck and ruffles her fist through his hair. They’re soon wrestling their way towards the exit of the building as I just follow along, smiling over their bickering. It’s the two of them that I assume will probably end up together one day, not Donghae and Chaerim, as much as he wishes for that to happen. Eunyoung matches with my friend in ways that go beyond love so I hope he’ll choose her and certainly doesn’t hurt her.
There’s not much we can do for the play at home so when Donghae offers to go out that evening I agree wholeheartedly, amused at the way he immediately calls up a few other friends. There’s some from the same course as them and then a few from high school who are now studying plenty of different things. He always calls up everyone but usually only three or four of them have time to make it over.
It’s the same this evening and we end up going out with Ryeowook, Siwon - who brings his girlfriend Minah - and Sungmin. Eunyoung goes along as well but as always she’ll have to leave by ten. Her parents don’t want her out that late for reasons unknown and she always complains about it. So far I’ve refrained from telling her that it’s for the best because after ten Donghae usually starts dancing with everything that has boobs and moves along with him.
The evening is nice, despite the fact that I don’t really know Sungmin nor Ryeowook that well while they’re the two who stay behind at the table with me when the others go to dance. We exchange some random small talk but it’s nothing interesting and I end up moving over to the dance floor as well in order to avoid more awkwardness. Since we have class still the next day, we all go home by midnight and I drop down on my bed with a content sigh.
It takes a while to fall asleep but once I do, my alarm clock wakes me after what seems like mere seconds. I’m surprisingly awake and it takes less long than usual for me to put on some clothes and set for class. When I enter, everyone’s already there aside from Miss Park. I settle on my usual seat next to Donghae and after a short good morning settle for watching him bicker with Eunyoung.
It doesn’t take long for our teacher to enter the classroom but we know she usually takes another minute or two before being ready so the buzzing of conversations doesn’t cease. I let my eyes wander over these people that I got to know so well over the past few years, smiling lightly at recalling some of the memories I share with them. It’s nice to be back in school, I conclude after a while, nice to be working together with them again.
“Miss Park, I would like to suggest something...” Everyone falls silent when Hwayoung suddenly speaks up. It’s not often that she raises her voice but when she does it’s usually interesting. I have a certain feeling of apprehension towards it today because suggestions usually also mean change and I’m fine with things being the way they are now.
“What would you like to suggest, Hwayoung? Anything you’d like to change?” Miss Park replies with a smile and a sigh escapes me. Here we go already.. Donghae nudges my side lightly, giving me a look that politely tells me to shut the heck up about it even though I’m not saying a word. I roll my eyes at him but try to keep my annoyance at bay.
“Actually I have a different plot to suggest. Perhaps we could write a play about a guy or a girl who falls in love with someone of the same gender. We could try to portray the inner struggle and how society’s going to bring those feelings down. I think it might open some people’s eyes towards this subject and perhaps some of the youngsters dealing with the same problems can feel inspired or find courage.”
I have to agree that the idea is noble if anything. The way she talks about it gives off the impression like she has been there herself but I find it better not to ask anything. Miss Park doesn’t seem to have the same reserve though. “That’s an interesting idea, Hwayoung, how did you come up with that,” she asks and I find myself wondering about the same thing.
“My brother moved to America two years ago together with his boyfriend because they weren’t accepted into the society here.” Hwayoung seems slightly hesitant to admit that fact but still continues anyway and a quick glance around the classroom tells me everyone’s paying attention to her now. “I’ve seen the things he’s been through and I wouldn’t want anyone to have to suffer like that. Not because of something as good as love.”
She smiles lightly but there’s a lot more in her eyes than that. I’m surprised exactly how much more there is and all of a sudden I find myself wanting to use this new plotline, just so I can get that girl to feel better and to help her spread this story to the other people.
“Well, it’s definitely a story I’d support,” Miss Park breaks through my reveries, smiling at Hwayoung still. “You want to take the main role?” As they probably all expect by then, Hwayoung quickly shakes her head. Our teacher’s eyes then move over to Donghae, going to Chaerim after that. “Either of you feel up for this role?”
Chaerim immediately shakes her head. “I’m sorry, miss, but I’d feel too awkward trying to pretend to be in love with one of my friends. Faking a crush is my weak spot,” she explains herself. I feel my eyes going to Donghae automatically after those words. He’s frowning, seemingly thinking it over, but I see the start of rejection forming in his mind.
“Donghae?” Miss Park asks next and now I’m no longer the only one looking at him. “You have to find someone to act opposite of you as well, though.” That seems to stump him even more because even though he doesn’t wordily reject the part, Miss Park already turns to Hwayoung with a regretful expression.
“I’ll do it.”
It takes a moment for everyone to realise who spoke, but then they’re all looking at me. “If Donghae plays the second main. And I refuse to kiss a guy. If you really want a kiss in it, you’ll have to hide our faces behind something or darken the stage before anything happened, otherwise it’s going to be one big, awkward mess.” I try not to mind too much that everyone’s staring, hiding my face slightly and especially NOT looking at Donghae nor Hwayoung.
“Donghae?” Miss Park asks again and I wait with bathed breath for his reaction. It’s silent for but a moment yet that short amount of time feels like a whole year to me.
“Alright,” Donghae agrees then and I can hear the smile in his words. “Hyuk and I will take the main roles.”
Two weeks later we have a pretty solid idea and a script that solely needs to have dialogues made and details added. Gongjae turned out to be one of a kind at coming up with plots and Hwayoung – being the one to come up with the main idea – has helped him out. The idea is simple, they say, but Donghae and I are the ones who have to fill in the dialogue as we go.
“Get into character,” Miss Park told us when we asked her about it. “When you two get into character you make up your own lines all the time anyway.”
It’s true, we often had times when we were acting and got into it so much that we just let our characters have their say. I am always convinced that Donghae is the one starting the adlibs, but he always says he just follows along with me. Miss Park concluded that we are both good at getting into character and becoming the person we’re acting out.
I still remember the one time that happened when Donghae was acting as a female character due to a lack of girls and he was PMS-ing for a good week afterwards.
What comes next is the creation of our decor. The story will mainly happen inside the main person’s school, but we also need a café where he’ll be meeting his soon-to-be-crush for the first time, the house where he’ll tell his parents and the dark alley he’ll get beat up in.
There’s many things we need to create for this play but Donghae and I have to practice the most so we got the other’s approval to work on the other things a little less. We need to create the dialogues after all, which is not as easy of a job as they all make it to be. So while everyone else is discussing the main school decor, we’re sitting at the back with my laptop in between us in order to come up with our first meeting.
“Alright. Let’s see. So we meet in a café where I am because..?” I start, opening the document with the script to scroll through to the right moment. “Main guy is invited by friends to an evening out where he meets other main. He is immediately intrigued by the other boy and as they develop a friendship, his feelings evolve..”
I look up at Donghae after that, raising my eyebrows a little and licking my lips suggestively as I scoot over towards him. “Hello there, gorgeous. What be your name?” I ask him in what’s supposedly a seductive way. For a moment he’s staring at me weirdly while I’m trying to keep a straight face, but then we’re both laughing and he shoves my arms away from him.
“This is going to be a long road,” he says with a small smile. “You do realise that at the end they’re going to be having actually mushy scenes, right?” I need a moment to grasp those words, but then I’m scrolling through the document towards the ending. “They end up together?” I squeak somewhat panicked, coming to the scene where the main character has the other main confessing to him. He doesn’t have any reply yet, though, but my hopeful glance at Donghae brings no solace. He looks pensive yet somehow certain of himself.
“They don’t have a set ending yet, Hyuk. Have you even read through the script at all last night? But well, it’s going to depend on how we make our characters come to life. Our dialogues are going to make or break their relationship, I guess.” He smiles at me amusedly for a moment and I know I won’t like what will come next. “You know how much I love happy endings, so pucker up big boy!” I make a disgusted sound at his kissy face and quickly push it away from me.
“Gross, Hae, very gross. If I’m ever going to kiss a man, it’s definitely not going to be you.” I make a face at him before turning back to the computer. “Alright, back to business. First scene, we’re in a bar, who starts the conversation.” Looking up at Donghae, I find him looking at me and it’s obvious that we both already know the answer.
“I would,” he says. “You’d be too much of an awkward stick.” I’d contradict that but our own first meeting proves otherwise. We met in a DVD store, he struck the conversation and I awkwardly answered him as best as possible. But then again, he thought I was a store worker because of the colour of my shirt while I was actually only finding some movies for my own. I like to think it was my good taste in movies that became the base for our friendship.
“You would,” I agree with him for that, and from there on we start to make our dialogues It’s a few hours well spent, while the others sketch and create the first ideas for the decor. Eunyoung is the one to come between us when our time’s up. She has to wave a hand in front of the computer screen to catch our attention and when we look up, everyone else is gone already.
“Class is over for today. We have to find the things we need as cheap as possible,” she explains to us and I nod in understanding while typing up the last part of the sentence we’re working on. Only then do I save the document and look up again.
Donghae is checking his phone to see whether he can get a ride home from his brother. Meanwhile Eunyoung is eyeing him longingly. I can’t help but chuckle and give her a subtle wink as she turns to look at me. She rolls her eyes but doesn’t comment – and how can she with Donghae sitting but inches away. I turn to him once more and hum something as I nudge his arm in hopes of getting his attention. He only looks up when he finishes his texting.
“Mind if I stay at yours tonight, Hyuk? We can work on the dialogues some more if you want?” The question isn’t rare, but it is unexpected as he doesn’t look very troubled today. It happens more often that Donghae stays over at my place for a night. The excuse is that he has to travel a long way to get home, reality is that his mother had another fight with her boyfriend of the week or that she had another nervous breakdown.
I don’t ask for the actual reason anymore. We long have gotten him an extra bed and my parents treat him like he is their actual son. “Sure, Hae,” is therefore what I reply easily. The smile on his face is immediate as he beams his happiness and relief at us.
“Thanks, dude. I did agree to meet with Donghwa first though, so I’ll meet you in an hour or two? Or do you want to come along?” He looks at Eunyoung for a moment and I look up at her as well at that. She’s trying not to look too obvious while shooting me hopeful glances. I smile apologetically as I focus on Donghae again.
“Sorry, promised to take Eunyoung out for pizza. It’s been ages since we had any. I’m sure you have enough to discuss with your brother.” The excuse is waterproof. Eunyoung and I never agreed on eating pizza but whenever she wants to talk to me, that’s exactly what we do and her relieved expression shows I understood her distress well.
“Ah, yes, alright. I’ll see you tonight then?” Donghae seems to be oblivious to our silent exchange, making it all the easier for me to keep up the pretences.
“Yeah, If I’m not back yet when you arrive you can just wait for me inside. I’m sure umma will provide you with anything you need.” He hums in understanding as he gets up. With a small nod at Eunyoung and me and a short wish of “I hope the pizza is good” he then leaves the classroom. Eunyoung and I look at the empty doorway a moment longer before eyeing each other.
“Poor him,” Eunyoung hums, making me smile with some regret. “I hope his mother will realise soon that she doesn’t need those other guys to be able to live. Donghae’s studies are all paid for by now and with the money Donghwa’s making they’re able to live just fine.”
I shrug slightly in reply. “She’s too proud to agree to take her son’s money to live on. But what are you admiring Donghwa so much for lately? Have you changed your allegiance to him instead of poor, unknowing Hae?” She throws her scarf at my head and I laugh as I pick it up from the table. “Thanks dear, it’s getting colder indeed and I needed one of those,” I tell her as I pack it away in my bag before looking up. “So what kind of pizza do you want?”
She manages her angry glare only a moment longer before she’s grinning at me and I don’t need long to grin back.
Monday, 19 December 2011
[FIC] That Gay Thing
Title: That Gay Thing
Characters: Hyukjae, Donghae, Yesung, Sungmin, OC
Rating: PG-13
Chaptercount: Prologue
Summary: Playing the part of the struggling possibly-gay in their last year's school play, Hyukjae loses himself in the role and falls in love with another guy. He tells himself he's not gay, that he's just overdoing the getting-in-role thing, but for some reason it's not as convincing as he would like it to be.
A/N: An idea that came to me a while back. It's a plotline I want to write because it is a current day thing and I'd love to take on a more difficult topic for once. My updates may come very slow, but I'm determined to bring this story to a good end. I hope that with my view on these things and feelings I will not insult anyone. I have no idea how it feels for people who go through this (I'm also not a guy), but I'm trying to picture it the best I can~ ^-^
- - - - -
"But you LOVE me," Donghae shouts and for a moment the other boy looks so scared his expression of total disbelief fades a bit.
"No I don't," he then regains himself as he speaks with a grim edge to his voice, almost back in control over himself. "I don't know why you'd think that." He puts his hands on his hips and eyes the young man opposite of him who looks like he's going to burst into tears any moment now. Where it was Donghae who looked sure of himself at first, it is now the other young man who seems to be in control of the situation.
"What do you mean, Kibum? You said so yourself!" Donghae seems somewhat desperate by now but it is obvious the other is not affected by those words. "You kissed me!"
The silence is deafening for a few moments and then the other says the one thing he probably knows will break his friend. "No I did not. I'm straight and it is high time for you to accept that."
Characters: Hyukjae, Donghae, Yesung, Sungmin, OC
Rating: PG-13
Chaptercount: Prologue
Summary: Playing the part of the struggling possibly-gay in their last year's school play, Hyukjae loses himself in the role and falls in love with another guy. He tells himself he's not gay, that he's just overdoing the getting-in-role thing, but for some reason it's not as convincing as he would like it to be.
A/N: An idea that came to me a while back. It's a plotline I want to write because it is a current day thing and I'd love to take on a more difficult topic for once. My updates may come very slow, but I'm determined to bring this story to a good end. I hope that with my view on these things and feelings I will not insult anyone. I have no idea how it feels for people who go through this (I'm also not a guy), but I'm trying to picture it the best I can~ ^-^
- - - - -
"But you LOVE me," Donghae shouts and for a moment the other boy looks so scared his expression of total disbelief fades a bit.
"No I don't," he then regains himself as he speaks with a grim edge to his voice, almost back in control over himself. "I don't know why you'd think that." He puts his hands on his hips and eyes the young man opposite of him who looks like he's going to burst into tears any moment now. Where it was Donghae who looked sure of himself at first, it is now the other young man who seems to be in control of the situation.
"What do you mean, Kibum? You said so yourself!" Donghae seems somewhat desperate by now but it is obvious the other is not affected by those words. "You kissed me!"
The silence is deafening for a few moments and then the other says the one thing he probably knows will break his friend. "No I did not. I'm straight and it is high time for you to accept that."
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
[FIC] What's in a name: Yesung
Title: What's in a name: Yesung
Characters: Yesung
Rating: G
Wordcount: 516
Summary: Youth is the best part of life.
A/N: I wrote the first drabble (which was Leeteuk's) on the 8th of May and since then have gradually written the others as well. It is one drabble a member. There are no plotlines, this is basically my positive fangirl view on what goes on in their minds I guess, and I just really enjoyed writing these out, although it sometimes was a major battle.
- - - - -
Youth is the best part of life.
Every time people gave him weird looks for his behaviour, he would realise it again. Back when he was young, no one used to look at him strangely, no matter what he did. He would come home with a snail, claiming it to be the fastest snail in the world, and his mom would simply pat him on the head, ruffle his hair and tell him she was sure he would win lots of snail-crawling competitions. His mom had also laughed with him sometimes, but her laughter had never been hurtful. Except for his mother, everyone else had stopped smiling at his antics after a while and had started giving him those weird looks.
Somewhere along the way of life, he realised, youth disappeared, and when adulthood kicked in, so did the weird looks. Somehow, at a certain point in time, someone had decided him ‘too old to be acting this ridiculous,’ and from that moment on, acting ‘out of the ordinary’ had become a no-go. He had gotten used to it, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He had always wanted to be able to just be himself, but it seemed harder than expected. Not that he wasn’t himself, it was just that others didn’t always seem to accept it. He didn’t care much, really. He didn’t bother to feel offended when someone laughed at his actions once again, nor did he really give a damn when someone questioned his behaviour, but it would be nicer for everyone to just shut up and deal with it.
Unnerved about what people thought of him, he did sometimes feel guilty towards his friends and band members. What others thought of him, would also affect the general idea of the band, but every time he had tried to start a conversation about it, both his hyungs and dongsaengs had reassured him that it was no problem at all and that he should just be himself, because they liked him for who he was. It was that constant support that kept him believing in himself.
No matter what people thought of him when he once again told them about his totally uninteresting and utterly boring turtle, no matter how negative the response was, he would just smile and go on like he didn’t even notice it. He really didn’t notice it, to be more exact. They could offend him for all he cared, he would just continue being himself, because that was the most important thing in life. One shouldn’t give in to outside pressure and just stick to being normal and feeling good about it.
Growing up and leaving his youth behind had been annoying, having people expect him to behave like everyone else had been annoying, trying to get a shot at a ‘normal’ life had been annoying, but it had brought him where he was now and it had given him the opportunity to get to know the fourteen other members. For that reason only, he would gladly take any future weird look other people would throw him.
Characters: Yesung
Rating: G
Wordcount: 516
Summary: Youth is the best part of life.
A/N: I wrote the first drabble (which was Leeteuk's) on the 8th of May and since then have gradually written the others as well. It is one drabble a member. There are no plotlines, this is basically my positive fangirl view on what goes on in their minds I guess, and I just really enjoyed writing these out, although it sometimes was a major battle.
- - - - -
Youth is the best part of life.
Every time people gave him weird looks for his behaviour, he would realise it again. Back when he was young, no one used to look at him strangely, no matter what he did. He would come home with a snail, claiming it to be the fastest snail in the world, and his mom would simply pat him on the head, ruffle his hair and tell him she was sure he would win lots of snail-crawling competitions. His mom had also laughed with him sometimes, but her laughter had never been hurtful. Except for his mother, everyone else had stopped smiling at his antics after a while and had started giving him those weird looks.
Somewhere along the way of life, he realised, youth disappeared, and when adulthood kicked in, so did the weird looks. Somehow, at a certain point in time, someone had decided him ‘too old to be acting this ridiculous,’ and from that moment on, acting ‘out of the ordinary’ had become a no-go. He had gotten used to it, but that didn’t mean he liked it. He had always wanted to be able to just be himself, but it seemed harder than expected. Not that he wasn’t himself, it was just that others didn’t always seem to accept it. He didn’t care much, really. He didn’t bother to feel offended when someone laughed at his actions once again, nor did he really give a damn when someone questioned his behaviour, but it would be nicer for everyone to just shut up and deal with it.
Unnerved about what people thought of him, he did sometimes feel guilty towards his friends and band members. What others thought of him, would also affect the general idea of the band, but every time he had tried to start a conversation about it, both his hyungs and dongsaengs had reassured him that it was no problem at all and that he should just be himself, because they liked him for who he was. It was that constant support that kept him believing in himself.
No matter what people thought of him when he once again told them about his totally uninteresting and utterly boring turtle, no matter how negative the response was, he would just smile and go on like he didn’t even notice it. He really didn’t notice it, to be more exact. They could offend him for all he cared, he would just continue being himself, because that was the most important thing in life. One shouldn’t give in to outside pressure and just stick to being normal and feeling good about it.
Growing up and leaving his youth behind had been annoying, having people expect him to behave like everyone else had been annoying, trying to get a shot at a ‘normal’ life had been annoying, but it had brought him where he was now and it had given him the opportunity to get to know the fourteen other members. For that reason only, he would gladly take any future weird look other people would throw him.
Monday, 29 August 2011
[FIC] Making you smile
Title: Making you smile
Characters: Hyukjae, Sungmin, Jongwoon
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.200 & 1.666
Summary: Sungmin's been way down lately and Hyukjae wants to change that.
A/N: I had a rough start on it as the idea grew out of a conversation I had with another one of my dongsaengs, but the inspiration was kind of lacking that day and so was time. Then in the following days there was no time or will to write, but because of some events and fanfics I read from my unnies, I managed to write this.
- - - - -
It was a nice, cosy, free afternoon for Hyukjae that rainy Sunday in may. He had no schedule and there was no training since the Super Junior M members were off to China that weekend. He decided that the best way to spend such a lovely afternoon was to plop down on the couch and enjoy some good old TV-watching. Yet the moment he switched on the television and focused his eyes on the colourful images displayed, a door was opened and the head of his friend popped out of the doorway.
“Hyukkie, are you doing anything interesting?” he asked, showing a rather adorable pout. But Hyukjae had seen it too often already, so it didn’t move him much anymore. He kept his eyes on the television, sighing a little as he tried to ignore the continuous stare. “Hyukkie..”
“Ah, chinja! I just want to watch some TV without being disturbed every two seconds. Is that really so hard to achieve?” he boomed, frowning a little himself at how harsh his own words sounded. He didn’t have to look to see how all happiness disappeared from the other one’s face, yet he didn’t take back his words. A long silence followed, before the door was slowly closed again. When he looked up, he could just see Sungmin’s hand softly pull the door closed behind him. Hyukjae sighed as he turned his eyes back towards the television.
About thirty minutes later the door opened again and Sungmin walked out. It was when he disappeared in the kitchen without saying a word, that the feeling of guilt exploded inside of Hyukjae. He managed to keep watching the television for a total of ten more seconds, before he got up and followed his friend. He walked into the kitchen, dragging his unwilling body towards the other who was taking water out of the fridge. The moment he reached the elder, he let his arms slip around Sungmin’s chest and rested his chin on the other one’s shoulder.
There was a short moment in which Sungmin froze in shock, before he pulled away from the sudden touch. As he turned around, he locked eyes with the other and sighed when he realised who it was. His eyes flashed from Hyukjae’s face to the open door behind him and back to his friend. The question was evident on his face, even though he didn’t say anything. His whole expression was practically wondering: ‘What about watching TV without being disturbed?’ When there came no reply from the younger, however, he frowned.
“I thought it was Jongwoon hyung.” he then mumbled, turning around again to continue with pouring water into a glass. Hyukjae wrapped his arms around his friend’s chest again and returned to his earlier position, peaking over Sungmin’s shoulder at the glass of water as if it was something very interesting to see. The elder did nothing anymore to stop him, but he did turn his head for a moment to look at him. “Hyuk-ah..?” he wondered without adding any more.
“I’m sorry for getting annoyed at you, Minnie.” Hyukjae mumbled in reply, softly nudging the other one’s head with his own. “Are you alright? Was there something you wanted to ask me?” he then added to his previous words. He noticed the shadow of a smile that appeared on Sungmin’s face because of his words and felt good at this rare accomplishment. Sungmin rarely ever had smiled anymore in the past weeks. It saddened Hyukjae to realise that, but it saddened him even more that he didn’t even know the reason.
“I’m alright, Hyuk-ah.” the elder said, but it was obvious that he wasn’t doing good. Not at all. “There’s nothing I wanted to say or ask. Don’t worry.” But of course Hyukjae should worry. For there was this hint of hidden sadness in Sungmin’s voice and a lack of liveliness in his eyes. And while watching his friend drink, with his own arms still clutched around the other’s chest, Hyukjae realised that he would have to do something about this. He would make Sungmin smile, even if it meant sacrificing his free afternoon for it. That’s why, when Sungmin put down the empty glass again, Hyukjae immediately dragged him out of the kitchen.
“Hyuk what the hell?” Sungmin called out when he almost fell down because he was dragged away by his friend. He tried to wriggle out of Hyukjae’s grip, but the younger was holding on too tightly. “Hyuk? Let go of me! What are you doing? Hyuk?” he kept on complaining, but his words reached deaf ears. When he was tackled onto the couch, with Hyukjae landing on top of him, he cursed under his breath. “Damn it Hyuk, what the hell are you doing?” His hand seemed to move on its own, flying towards the other’s head and hitting it with a good amount of strength.
“Ouch! Minnie!” the younger exclaimed, showing an adorable pout. “That hurt.” He let go of his friend with one hand to rub his head and then poked Sungmin’s side. “You’re evil, Minnie! Evil, I tell you! You spend too much time with that maknae! He’s totally corrupting your innocent self.” He huffed as he rested his head down. “I wanted to be nice for once and then you hit me!”
“What’s nice about dragging your friend to the living room and throwing him on the couch to then land on top of him?” Sungmin retorted, disbelieving, turning his head to be able to look at the younger. Right at that moment, Jongwoon walked out of his room as well, but froze in his tracks as he saw his fellow dorm members. He eyed the bunch of tangled limbs and the close faces for a moment before his eyes widened and he cleared his throat.
“Err.. I’m sorry for disturbing you two.” he mumbled, turning around and quickly walking back into his room.
The two boys eyed the closed door for a moment, before turning to each other again. There was a moment of silence, before Hyukjae chuckled. He decided to take use of the situation to try and brighten up Sungmin. “Hello sweety.” he therefore said teasingly. “How about some Hyukmin today? Forget that Kyu of yours, he’s not worth anything anyway.”
A wide grin was on his face, but it faltered when his words did not have the intended effect. Instead of making Sungmin laugh, they earned him a poisonous glare and he was pushed out of the couch, ending up on the ground next to it. As he lay there, pouting, Sungmin sat up in anger.
“Ugh, Hyuk, you’re gross! Don’t you have some Eunhae fanservice to prepare?” he asked disgusted, getting up from the couch and storming away. He stampeded back into his room, throwing the door closed behind him after which he dropped down on his bed and grabbed a pillow. He landed a few good punches on it, before sighing and closing his eyes as he rested his head on the thing. There was a deafening silence around him that made his anger flow away just as quickly as it had come and soon the numbing sleep took over.
- - - - -
He woke up feeling like someone had hammered on his head with a ten ton truck. He let out a tired groan as he opened his eyes, wincing from the sudden light. He looked around, trying to find the cause of his waking, when his eyes locked on another pair of familiar brown ones. He froze in his place and his heart skipped a beat in surprise. Only seconds later, however, the first shock had faded and his body relaxed again. His friend was lying three metres away, on the bed of his roommate, looking at him with a pout on his face.
“You don’t even smile when you sleep.” the other one told him, showing him an even more sad face. He frowned at this lame notion. Not that it wasn’t true, on the contrary, but it was lame nonetheless. Because who did smile while asleep anyway? “And now you’re even frowning!” Hyukjae continued, shaking his head with a thoughtful expression, obviously talking more to himself than to his only just awoken friend. “This is obviously not working..” Sungmin frowned more upon hearing those last words.
“What isn’t?” he wondered out loud, getting up to be able to give his friend a closer look. When he did so, however, he noticed the fabric all around the two of them. His eyes widened in surprise as he took in all the white around him and the seemingly sudden closeness of the walls. “What’s this?” he asked in shock, resting his eyes on Hyukjae again.
“It’s a blanket fort. Don’t you like it?” the younger replied, pouting even more as he eyed his own creation. He had basically robbed everyone’s bed from their sheets and brought them to make a blanket fort with Sungmin. But when he had entered his friend’s room, the elder had already been asleep. After twenty minutes of waiting for his friend to wake up, Hyukjae had decided to get to building the blanket fort by himself. He would then do something else inside of the blanket fort with his friend when the latter woke up. What exactly he would do had been problems for later.
Yet later had now arrived. In the form of a stunned, shocked and confused Sungmin who stared at the sheets draped all around them. There were two sheets being used as roof for their blanket fort and four as walls. The two beds were both included in the fort, but everything else was left out. It felt like a cosy little room that only held their two beds and nothing else but white. When he finally realised exactly what the other had done, Sungmin averted his eyes from all the white and looked back at Hyukjae.
“What is this for?” he asked, sitting up a little better. This action was immediately nullified again when Hyukjae jumped up from the bed he was lying on and ran over to Sungmin’s bed, basically pouncing on the other and pushing him back down.
“It’s for having a personal space where I can keep asking you annoying questions until you finally answer them, because I can’t take this any longer!” Hyukjae then exclaimed, his eyes piercing into his friend’s. After those words, the questions just poured out. “Why are you not smiling like you used to? Why are you not enjoying every moment anymore like you used to? Why is there never that sparkle in your eyes that I know from earlier times? Why do you look like a zombie most of the time? Why do you cry all by yourself in the bathroom when you think everyone else is sleeping?” Sungmin stared at his younger friend for a moment, dumbfounded.
“Oh..” he finally mumbled, blinking a few times before continuing. “You noticed that?” The obvious surprise in his voice was what made Hyukjae stare at him in shock. And suddenly all pieces of the puzzle seemed to come together in the younger’s mind.
“Minnie..” he said, disbelieving, his hands resting at both sides of Sungmin’s shoulders as he kept himself upright like that. He shook his head a little and sighed. “You must be kidding me, right? Are you depressed because you think we don’t notice you?” Sungmin fretted a moment, trying to look anywhere but at his friend’s eyes, but after a few moments of silence, he had no other choice anymore, as Hyukjae brought his face closer, eyebrows raised in wonder. When the younger started poking his face as well, Sungmin finally snapped.
“Yes I am, okay?” he exclaimed, pushing Hyukjae away from him again. “No one ever notices me. And why should they? I’m not a great singer like Yesung hyung or Ryeowook or even Kyuhyun. I don’t dance as well as you or Shindong or Donghae. Even Leeteuk hyung is better at dancing than me sometimes. And I also don’t have any entertainment skills, acting skills or good looks to make up for my lacking singing and dancing like Heechul hyung and Siwon. All I can do is use a sweet voice and make cute faces. Like that is of any use!”
At first he had managed to stay calm, but somewhere halfway through his explosion, the emotions became too strong and his voice broke, making him half whine the last words to his friend. Yet every thought of having to keep up appearances had left him the moment he snapped, so he simply glared at his friend who was still lying on the ground. His eyes were puffy and red, filled with tears that wouldn’t spill over his cheeks, but he didn’t care about that. There was a short silence in which the two just looked at each other, before Hyukjae slowly crawled upright and spread his arms. It took Sungmin another two seconds to slid off the bed as well and hide in the other’s arms.
“Minnie.. Our dear Sungminnie..” Hyukjae mumbled softly, stroking the elder’s back and making soft hushing sounds. “You are a very good dancer and you know it. Maybe your singing isn’t perfect, but neither is mine or Donghae’s or even Ryeowook’s for that matter. Maybe you don’t have entertainment skills or acting skills, although I think you do, but you have so many other skills too. No one can play the guitar like you can, you make the best pumpkin soup from the fifteen of us, you are an awesome sportsman, you put your best into everything you do.. Hell, Minnie, you can even throw pizzas around for crying out loud!” He patted the elder’s back and rested his head against Sungmin’s. “And Minnie, of course we notice you. Everyone notices you. Everyone has seen how you grow less happy with every passing day. We just thought it was a phase and that you would eventually tell us yourself what was wrong.”
The silence that followed his words was an expectant one, yet it was not interrupted by the elder. Instead, the two of them just sat there hugging, holding each other tightly. Neither of them was crying, but Sungmin was on the brink of tears, still refusing to let them out. Hyukjae just held his long-time friend, stroking through his hair in a gentle movement that showed his care. After a few minutes of sitting like that, he pulled back a little and rested his forehead against Sungmin’s.
“You’re not worthless, Minnie.” he said. “I know that’s what you’re convinced of, but you’re wrong. Without you Super Junior is not Super Junior anymore. Without you, I would not be me anymore. You are our fellow member and, most importantly, our friend. We don’t want you to feel bad, so smile for us more often, will you?” Before Sungmin could respond, someone flipped open the ‘door’ of their blanket fort.
“Hey Min what are all the shee- Oh. Err.. I’m sorry for disturbing you two.” Jongwoon said, raising an eyebrow at the sight of his two dongsaengs. He let go of the fabric so that the sheet dropped down again and blocked his view on them, but it took him another second before he managed to turn around to walk away. He was stopped by the two people he had ‘interrupted’ for a second time that day, however.
“Hyung.” Hyukjae said, waiting for Jongwoon to pop his head back through the sheets before continuing. “You’re not disturbing us. Please feel free to enter our blanket fort and enjoy the freedom of doing anything you want together with us.” The eldest let his eyes skim the surroundings, before eyeing his still tightly hugging dongsaengs. He hesitated a moment before speaking up.
“Do I have to take part in this make-out session?” he asked worried. His words earned him a full-out laugh from Hyukjae, but more importantly, they also caused Sungmin to chuckle softly. Upon hearing this, Hyukjae immediately looked at his friend in surprise, pushing him back a little to look at Sungmin’s face, that was coloured with a smile. When he saw this fact, he immediately let go of his friend to jump up and glomp Jongwoon. Because this was unexpected for the elder, they both ended up falling on the ground, dragging down half of the ‘walls’ of the blanket fort. They lay sprawled on the ground for a moment, before realising what had really happened.
“Yah! Hyukjae-ah! I don’t swing your way! Get off of me!” Jongwoon immediately shrieked, trying his best to push the younger off him, which was made almost impossible by the heap of sheets they were tangled in. Hyukjae tried his best to crawl of the elder as well, not really fancying the position they were in either, but was also discovering how annoying sheets could be. As they struggled to get away from each other, there was something that caught their attention, making them both freeze in their movements and listen with a smile on their face.
From somewhere underneath the heap of sheets, Sungmin’s muffled but sincere laughter could be heard.
Characters: Hyukjae, Sungmin, Jongwoon
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.200 & 1.666
Summary: Sungmin's been way down lately and Hyukjae wants to change that.
A/N: I had a rough start on it as the idea grew out of a conversation I had with another one of my dongsaengs, but the inspiration was kind of lacking that day and so was time. Then in the following days there was no time or will to write, but because of some events and fanfics I read from my unnies, I managed to write this.
- - - - -
It was a nice, cosy, free afternoon for Hyukjae that rainy Sunday in may. He had no schedule and there was no training since the Super Junior M members were off to China that weekend. He decided that the best way to spend such a lovely afternoon was to plop down on the couch and enjoy some good old TV-watching. Yet the moment he switched on the television and focused his eyes on the colourful images displayed, a door was opened and the head of his friend popped out of the doorway.
“Hyukkie, are you doing anything interesting?” he asked, showing a rather adorable pout. But Hyukjae had seen it too often already, so it didn’t move him much anymore. He kept his eyes on the television, sighing a little as he tried to ignore the continuous stare. “Hyukkie..”
“Ah, chinja! I just want to watch some TV without being disturbed every two seconds. Is that really so hard to achieve?” he boomed, frowning a little himself at how harsh his own words sounded. He didn’t have to look to see how all happiness disappeared from the other one’s face, yet he didn’t take back his words. A long silence followed, before the door was slowly closed again. When he looked up, he could just see Sungmin’s hand softly pull the door closed behind him. Hyukjae sighed as he turned his eyes back towards the television.
About thirty minutes later the door opened again and Sungmin walked out. It was when he disappeared in the kitchen without saying a word, that the feeling of guilt exploded inside of Hyukjae. He managed to keep watching the television for a total of ten more seconds, before he got up and followed his friend. He walked into the kitchen, dragging his unwilling body towards the other who was taking water out of the fridge. The moment he reached the elder, he let his arms slip around Sungmin’s chest and rested his chin on the other one’s shoulder.
There was a short moment in which Sungmin froze in shock, before he pulled away from the sudden touch. As he turned around, he locked eyes with the other and sighed when he realised who it was. His eyes flashed from Hyukjae’s face to the open door behind him and back to his friend. The question was evident on his face, even though he didn’t say anything. His whole expression was practically wondering: ‘What about watching TV without being disturbed?’ When there came no reply from the younger, however, he frowned.
“I thought it was Jongwoon hyung.” he then mumbled, turning around again to continue with pouring water into a glass. Hyukjae wrapped his arms around his friend’s chest again and returned to his earlier position, peaking over Sungmin’s shoulder at the glass of water as if it was something very interesting to see. The elder did nothing anymore to stop him, but he did turn his head for a moment to look at him. “Hyuk-ah..?” he wondered without adding any more.
“I’m sorry for getting annoyed at you, Minnie.” Hyukjae mumbled in reply, softly nudging the other one’s head with his own. “Are you alright? Was there something you wanted to ask me?” he then added to his previous words. He noticed the shadow of a smile that appeared on Sungmin’s face because of his words and felt good at this rare accomplishment. Sungmin rarely ever had smiled anymore in the past weeks. It saddened Hyukjae to realise that, but it saddened him even more that he didn’t even know the reason.
“I’m alright, Hyuk-ah.” the elder said, but it was obvious that he wasn’t doing good. Not at all. “There’s nothing I wanted to say or ask. Don’t worry.” But of course Hyukjae should worry. For there was this hint of hidden sadness in Sungmin’s voice and a lack of liveliness in his eyes. And while watching his friend drink, with his own arms still clutched around the other’s chest, Hyukjae realised that he would have to do something about this. He would make Sungmin smile, even if it meant sacrificing his free afternoon for it. That’s why, when Sungmin put down the empty glass again, Hyukjae immediately dragged him out of the kitchen.
“Hyuk what the hell?” Sungmin called out when he almost fell down because he was dragged away by his friend. He tried to wriggle out of Hyukjae’s grip, but the younger was holding on too tightly. “Hyuk? Let go of me! What are you doing? Hyuk?” he kept on complaining, but his words reached deaf ears. When he was tackled onto the couch, with Hyukjae landing on top of him, he cursed under his breath. “Damn it Hyuk, what the hell are you doing?” His hand seemed to move on its own, flying towards the other’s head and hitting it with a good amount of strength.
“Ouch! Minnie!” the younger exclaimed, showing an adorable pout. “That hurt.” He let go of his friend with one hand to rub his head and then poked Sungmin’s side. “You’re evil, Minnie! Evil, I tell you! You spend too much time with that maknae! He’s totally corrupting your innocent self.” He huffed as he rested his head down. “I wanted to be nice for once and then you hit me!”
“What’s nice about dragging your friend to the living room and throwing him on the couch to then land on top of him?” Sungmin retorted, disbelieving, turning his head to be able to look at the younger. Right at that moment, Jongwoon walked out of his room as well, but froze in his tracks as he saw his fellow dorm members. He eyed the bunch of tangled limbs and the close faces for a moment before his eyes widened and he cleared his throat.
“Err.. I’m sorry for disturbing you two.” he mumbled, turning around and quickly walking back into his room.
The two boys eyed the closed door for a moment, before turning to each other again. There was a moment of silence, before Hyukjae chuckled. He decided to take use of the situation to try and brighten up Sungmin. “Hello sweety.” he therefore said teasingly. “How about some Hyukmin today? Forget that Kyu of yours, he’s not worth anything anyway.”
A wide grin was on his face, but it faltered when his words did not have the intended effect. Instead of making Sungmin laugh, they earned him a poisonous glare and he was pushed out of the couch, ending up on the ground next to it. As he lay there, pouting, Sungmin sat up in anger.
“Ugh, Hyuk, you’re gross! Don’t you have some Eunhae fanservice to prepare?” he asked disgusted, getting up from the couch and storming away. He stampeded back into his room, throwing the door closed behind him after which he dropped down on his bed and grabbed a pillow. He landed a few good punches on it, before sighing and closing his eyes as he rested his head on the thing. There was a deafening silence around him that made his anger flow away just as quickly as it had come and soon the numbing sleep took over.
- - - - -
He woke up feeling like someone had hammered on his head with a ten ton truck. He let out a tired groan as he opened his eyes, wincing from the sudden light. He looked around, trying to find the cause of his waking, when his eyes locked on another pair of familiar brown ones. He froze in his place and his heart skipped a beat in surprise. Only seconds later, however, the first shock had faded and his body relaxed again. His friend was lying three metres away, on the bed of his roommate, looking at him with a pout on his face.
“You don’t even smile when you sleep.” the other one told him, showing him an even more sad face. He frowned at this lame notion. Not that it wasn’t true, on the contrary, but it was lame nonetheless. Because who did smile while asleep anyway? “And now you’re even frowning!” Hyukjae continued, shaking his head with a thoughtful expression, obviously talking more to himself than to his only just awoken friend. “This is obviously not working..” Sungmin frowned more upon hearing those last words.
“What isn’t?” he wondered out loud, getting up to be able to give his friend a closer look. When he did so, however, he noticed the fabric all around the two of them. His eyes widened in surprise as he took in all the white around him and the seemingly sudden closeness of the walls. “What’s this?” he asked in shock, resting his eyes on Hyukjae again.
“It’s a blanket fort. Don’t you like it?” the younger replied, pouting even more as he eyed his own creation. He had basically robbed everyone’s bed from their sheets and brought them to make a blanket fort with Sungmin. But when he had entered his friend’s room, the elder had already been asleep. After twenty minutes of waiting for his friend to wake up, Hyukjae had decided to get to building the blanket fort by himself. He would then do something else inside of the blanket fort with his friend when the latter woke up. What exactly he would do had been problems for later.
Yet later had now arrived. In the form of a stunned, shocked and confused Sungmin who stared at the sheets draped all around them. There were two sheets being used as roof for their blanket fort and four as walls. The two beds were both included in the fort, but everything else was left out. It felt like a cosy little room that only held their two beds and nothing else but white. When he finally realised exactly what the other had done, Sungmin averted his eyes from all the white and looked back at Hyukjae.
“What is this for?” he asked, sitting up a little better. This action was immediately nullified again when Hyukjae jumped up from the bed he was lying on and ran over to Sungmin’s bed, basically pouncing on the other and pushing him back down.
“It’s for having a personal space where I can keep asking you annoying questions until you finally answer them, because I can’t take this any longer!” Hyukjae then exclaimed, his eyes piercing into his friend’s. After those words, the questions just poured out. “Why are you not smiling like you used to? Why are you not enjoying every moment anymore like you used to? Why is there never that sparkle in your eyes that I know from earlier times? Why do you look like a zombie most of the time? Why do you cry all by yourself in the bathroom when you think everyone else is sleeping?” Sungmin stared at his younger friend for a moment, dumbfounded.
“Oh..” he finally mumbled, blinking a few times before continuing. “You noticed that?” The obvious surprise in his voice was what made Hyukjae stare at him in shock. And suddenly all pieces of the puzzle seemed to come together in the younger’s mind.
“Minnie..” he said, disbelieving, his hands resting at both sides of Sungmin’s shoulders as he kept himself upright like that. He shook his head a little and sighed. “You must be kidding me, right? Are you depressed because you think we don’t notice you?” Sungmin fretted a moment, trying to look anywhere but at his friend’s eyes, but after a few moments of silence, he had no other choice anymore, as Hyukjae brought his face closer, eyebrows raised in wonder. When the younger started poking his face as well, Sungmin finally snapped.
“Yes I am, okay?” he exclaimed, pushing Hyukjae away from him again. “No one ever notices me. And why should they? I’m not a great singer like Yesung hyung or Ryeowook or even Kyuhyun. I don’t dance as well as you or Shindong or Donghae. Even Leeteuk hyung is better at dancing than me sometimes. And I also don’t have any entertainment skills, acting skills or good looks to make up for my lacking singing and dancing like Heechul hyung and Siwon. All I can do is use a sweet voice and make cute faces. Like that is of any use!”
At first he had managed to stay calm, but somewhere halfway through his explosion, the emotions became too strong and his voice broke, making him half whine the last words to his friend. Yet every thought of having to keep up appearances had left him the moment he snapped, so he simply glared at his friend who was still lying on the ground. His eyes were puffy and red, filled with tears that wouldn’t spill over his cheeks, but he didn’t care about that. There was a short silence in which the two just looked at each other, before Hyukjae slowly crawled upright and spread his arms. It took Sungmin another two seconds to slid off the bed as well and hide in the other’s arms.
“Minnie.. Our dear Sungminnie..” Hyukjae mumbled softly, stroking the elder’s back and making soft hushing sounds. “You are a very good dancer and you know it. Maybe your singing isn’t perfect, but neither is mine or Donghae’s or even Ryeowook’s for that matter. Maybe you don’t have entertainment skills or acting skills, although I think you do, but you have so many other skills too. No one can play the guitar like you can, you make the best pumpkin soup from the fifteen of us, you are an awesome sportsman, you put your best into everything you do.. Hell, Minnie, you can even throw pizzas around for crying out loud!” He patted the elder’s back and rested his head against Sungmin’s. “And Minnie, of course we notice you. Everyone notices you. Everyone has seen how you grow less happy with every passing day. We just thought it was a phase and that you would eventually tell us yourself what was wrong.”
The silence that followed his words was an expectant one, yet it was not interrupted by the elder. Instead, the two of them just sat there hugging, holding each other tightly. Neither of them was crying, but Sungmin was on the brink of tears, still refusing to let them out. Hyukjae just held his long-time friend, stroking through his hair in a gentle movement that showed his care. After a few minutes of sitting like that, he pulled back a little and rested his forehead against Sungmin’s.
“You’re not worthless, Minnie.” he said. “I know that’s what you’re convinced of, but you’re wrong. Without you Super Junior is not Super Junior anymore. Without you, I would not be me anymore. You are our fellow member and, most importantly, our friend. We don’t want you to feel bad, so smile for us more often, will you?” Before Sungmin could respond, someone flipped open the ‘door’ of their blanket fort.
“Hey Min what are all the shee- Oh. Err.. I’m sorry for disturbing you two.” Jongwoon said, raising an eyebrow at the sight of his two dongsaengs. He let go of the fabric so that the sheet dropped down again and blocked his view on them, but it took him another second before he managed to turn around to walk away. He was stopped by the two people he had ‘interrupted’ for a second time that day, however.
“Hyung.” Hyukjae said, waiting for Jongwoon to pop his head back through the sheets before continuing. “You’re not disturbing us. Please feel free to enter our blanket fort and enjoy the freedom of doing anything you want together with us.” The eldest let his eyes skim the surroundings, before eyeing his still tightly hugging dongsaengs. He hesitated a moment before speaking up.
“Do I have to take part in this make-out session?” he asked worried. His words earned him a full-out laugh from Hyukjae, but more importantly, they also caused Sungmin to chuckle softly. Upon hearing this, Hyukjae immediately looked at his friend in surprise, pushing him back a little to look at Sungmin’s face, that was coloured with a smile. When he saw this fact, he immediately let go of his friend to jump up and glomp Jongwoon. Because this was unexpected for the elder, they both ended up falling on the ground, dragging down half of the ‘walls’ of the blanket fort. They lay sprawled on the ground for a moment, before realising what had really happened.
“Yah! Hyukjae-ah! I don’t swing your way! Get off of me!” Jongwoon immediately shrieked, trying his best to push the younger off him, which was made almost impossible by the heap of sheets they were tangled in. Hyukjae tried his best to crawl of the elder as well, not really fancying the position they were in either, but was also discovering how annoying sheets could be. As they struggled to get away from each other, there was something that caught their attention, making them both freeze in their movements and listen with a smile on their face.
From somewhere underneath the heap of sheets, Sungmin’s muffled but sincere laughter could be heard.
[FIC] Diary
Title: Diary
Characters: Yesung, Ryeowook
Rating: G
Wordcount: 581
Summary: Yesung gets a diary from Ryeowook.
A/N: This was the first one out of them all that I wrote. It doesn't make any sense but it was just too much fun to write. LoL. xD -happily chuckles at this- I hope you enjoy this Yesung drabble with a mention of Ryeowook. =P
- - - - -
26/12/2007
Hello diary.
I’m your new owner. My name is Kim Jongwoon.
My friend, Kim Ryeowook, gave you to me for Christmas. I don’t really know what he wants to achieve with giving me a diary. He had better bought me some turtle food or something. Not that I don’t like you, diary, but I think food for Ddangkoma would have been more useful.
Ryeowook says I should write in this whatever comes up in my head. I don’t see the use of it, though.. Can’t I just keep in my head what’s in there? It takes up less time. But okay, I’ll try to write more here, since you’re a gift from my friend and I should not just ignore that, right?
For now I will go to sleep, though, diary. I should give you a name. What would you like to be called? Mhm.. I could call you Journal. Yes, that will do fine, won’t it? So goodnight, Journal. I hope you’ll keep my words safe.
27/12/2007
Hello Journal.
Did you sleep well? I did. I had a nice dream about salad. It was relaxing. I woke up in a good mood.
Heechul hyung was shouting again this morning. Hyukkie was crying, so I went over and gave him a hug. I think he was grateful. I’m not sure though. He was crying too hard to understand whatever he was trying to tell me.
We had a lot of practice today. It was very tiring, but we have to do it nonetheless. At least they didn’t make us practice on Christmas. I think I might be able to celebrate New Year with my parents. Jungsoo hyung looked very tired and sad after practice, so I went over and gave him a hug. He smiled, patted my back and told me: ‘Jongwoon-ah, one day we’ll colour the world Sapphire Blue.’ That Jungsoo hyung, always having the weirdest ideas. Where would we find enough paint to do that?
I’m tired now, Journal. I just wanted to write here, so you wouldn’t think that I had forgotten you already. I’m glad you want to listen to me. Maybe this diary thing wasn’t such a bad idea from Ryeowook. I should thank him soon.
28/12/2007
Hello Journal.
Today was awful. At first I had a nightmare. Donghae had mistaken Ddangkoma for the soap and had washed himself with my poor turtle. But that wasn’t the end of it, no. When he realised that he wasn’t holding soap, he dropped my poor turtle and then ran out of the bathroom and into the living room screaming like an idiot. He forgot to grab a towel, though. I could see his..
Well, I woke up right after because Hangeng hyung came to tell me there was fried rice ready and schedules would start soon. But when I got to the kitchen, the other members had already eaten everything and I had to grab a cookie to at least have eaten something before we left. Siwon also didn’t get anything, so I went over to give him a hug. He smiled and told me I was the best hyung out of them all. I felt that Jungsoo is still better.
Ah, I have to sleep now. I’m too tired. Goodnight, Journal.
12/06/2010
Hello Journal.
I completely forgot about you. Reading my previous texts again, I think that was a very good thing. I think I’ll just keep you as bookshelf decoration from now on.
I’m sorry, Wookie.
Characters: Yesung, Ryeowook
Rating: G
Wordcount: 581
Summary: Yesung gets a diary from Ryeowook.
A/N: This was the first one out of them all that I wrote. It doesn't make any sense but it was just too much fun to write. LoL. xD -happily chuckles at this- I hope you enjoy this Yesung drabble with a mention of Ryeowook. =P
- - - - -
26/12/2007
Hello diary.
I’m your new owner. My name is Kim Jongwoon.
My friend, Kim Ryeowook, gave you to me for Christmas. I don’t really know what he wants to achieve with giving me a diary. He had better bought me some turtle food or something. Not that I don’t like you, diary, but I think food for Ddangkoma would have been more useful.
Ryeowook says I should write in this whatever comes up in my head. I don’t see the use of it, though.. Can’t I just keep in my head what’s in there? It takes up less time. But okay, I’ll try to write more here, since you’re a gift from my friend and I should not just ignore that, right?
For now I will go to sleep, though, diary. I should give you a name. What would you like to be called? Mhm.. I could call you Journal. Yes, that will do fine, won’t it? So goodnight, Journal. I hope you’ll keep my words safe.
27/12/2007
Hello Journal.
Did you sleep well? I did. I had a nice dream about salad. It was relaxing. I woke up in a good mood.
Heechul hyung was shouting again this morning. Hyukkie was crying, so I went over and gave him a hug. I think he was grateful. I’m not sure though. He was crying too hard to understand whatever he was trying to tell me.
We had a lot of practice today. It was very tiring, but we have to do it nonetheless. At least they didn’t make us practice on Christmas. I think I might be able to celebrate New Year with my parents. Jungsoo hyung looked very tired and sad after practice, so I went over and gave him a hug. He smiled, patted my back and told me: ‘Jongwoon-ah, one day we’ll colour the world Sapphire Blue.’ That Jungsoo hyung, always having the weirdest ideas. Where would we find enough paint to do that?
I’m tired now, Journal. I just wanted to write here, so you wouldn’t think that I had forgotten you already. I’m glad you want to listen to me. Maybe this diary thing wasn’t such a bad idea from Ryeowook. I should thank him soon.
28/12/2007
Hello Journal.
Today was awful. At first I had a nightmare. Donghae had mistaken Ddangkoma for the soap and had washed himself with my poor turtle. But that wasn’t the end of it, no. When he realised that he wasn’t holding soap, he dropped my poor turtle and then ran out of the bathroom and into the living room screaming like an idiot. He forgot to grab a towel, though. I could see his..
Well, I woke up right after because Hangeng hyung came to tell me there was fried rice ready and schedules would start soon. But when I got to the kitchen, the other members had already eaten everything and I had to grab a cookie to at least have eaten something before we left. Siwon also didn’t get anything, so I went over to give him a hug. He smiled and told me I was the best hyung out of them all. I felt that Jungsoo is still better.
Ah, I have to sleep now. I’m too tired. Goodnight, Journal.
12/06/2010
Hello Journal.
I completely forgot about you. Reading my previous texts again, I think that was a very good thing. I think I’ll just keep you as bookshelf decoration from now on.
I’m sorry, Wookie.
[FIC] Bubblegum
Title: Bubblegum
Characters: Yesung, Leeteuk
Rating: G
Wordcount: 465
Summary: The way his hyung seems more tired every day bothers him.
A/N: Written for the one who gave me this challenge; my dear Meimei.
- - - - -
There was a lot he could have done, but he didn’t. There was a lot he could have said, but he hadn’t. There was a lot he could have given, but he didn’t. Instead he had been the calm observer, watching without meddling in. He spent lots of his time thinking about how everything had gone, but he never tried to fix it or change it. Yet it had come to a point where he couldn’t keep silent anymore.
The leader had been suffering because of all the problems in the band, Kibum taking a break to do more acting, then Youngwoon having the accident and now finally Hangeng bringing up the lawsuit. Throughout that all, Jungsoo had fought to keep the rest of the band together, and it hadn’t been easy, considering the fact that Heechul had basically isolated himself from the others. With all those worries and troubles, Jungsoo had lost a lot of sleep and Jongwoon couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to make the elder guy sleep, even if he had to push him down on the bed and hold him there by force.
Now Jongwoon wasn’t shy or anti-social, no, he normally didn’t have a single problem with others, but when it came to the leader, he always felt a little uncomfortable. There was so much friendliness and openness radiating from Jungsoo that he often didn’t know how to respond to it, and it was even harder to try and force the leader to do something, when he had never forced anyone to do anything. At times Jongwoon would just ignore the weird feeling and hug his friend, but there were other times when he couldn’t.
That day was one of those times.
“Yesung-ah.. Are you alright? Do you need anything?” Jungsoo asked when he opened the door and took one step inside. Jongwoon could only stare, taking in the scene of his leader sitting on the bed with a laptop in front of him on which he was probably researching something for Teukigayo. It was rather late to still be doing that, but Jongwoon knew that Jungsoo had had no time during the days.
“Do you need anything?” Jungsoo asked again when there came no response, but still there were no words coming out of Jongwoon. He put his hands in his pockets, not knowing what to say, but suddenly felt something, and before he knew it, his mouth had already spoken the words.
“Want some bubblegum, hyung?” He held up the package, earning a weird look from Jungsoo.
“No, thank you, it’s late.” the eldest then said. “Are you sure you’re alright, Yesung-ah?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m perfectly fine..” he mumbled in reply and with those words, he hurried back out of the room.
Better luck next time.
Characters: Yesung, Leeteuk
Rating: G
Wordcount: 465
Summary: The way his hyung seems more tired every day bothers him.
A/N: Written for the one who gave me this challenge; my dear Meimei.
- - - - -
There was a lot he could have done, but he didn’t. There was a lot he could have said, but he hadn’t. There was a lot he could have given, but he didn’t. Instead he had been the calm observer, watching without meddling in. He spent lots of his time thinking about how everything had gone, but he never tried to fix it or change it. Yet it had come to a point where he couldn’t keep silent anymore.
The leader had been suffering because of all the problems in the band, Kibum taking a break to do more acting, then Youngwoon having the accident and now finally Hangeng bringing up the lawsuit. Throughout that all, Jungsoo had fought to keep the rest of the band together, and it hadn’t been easy, considering the fact that Heechul had basically isolated himself from the others. With all those worries and troubles, Jungsoo had lost a lot of sleep and Jongwoon couldn’t take it anymore. He was going to make the elder guy sleep, even if he had to push him down on the bed and hold him there by force.
Now Jongwoon wasn’t shy or anti-social, no, he normally didn’t have a single problem with others, but when it came to the leader, he always felt a little uncomfortable. There was so much friendliness and openness radiating from Jungsoo that he often didn’t know how to respond to it, and it was even harder to try and force the leader to do something, when he had never forced anyone to do anything. At times Jongwoon would just ignore the weird feeling and hug his friend, but there were other times when he couldn’t.
That day was one of those times.
“Yesung-ah.. Are you alright? Do you need anything?” Jungsoo asked when he opened the door and took one step inside. Jongwoon could only stare, taking in the scene of his leader sitting on the bed with a laptop in front of him on which he was probably researching something for Teukigayo. It was rather late to still be doing that, but Jongwoon knew that Jungsoo had had no time during the days.
“Do you need anything?” Jungsoo asked again when there came no response, but still there were no words coming out of Jongwoon. He put his hands in his pockets, not knowing what to say, but suddenly felt something, and before he knew it, his mouth had already spoken the words.
“Want some bubblegum, hyung?” He held up the package, earning a weird look from Jungsoo.
“No, thank you, it’s late.” the eldest then said. “Are you sure you’re alright, Yesung-ah?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’m perfectly fine..” he mumbled in reply and with those words, he hurried back out of the room.
Better luck next time.
Thursday, 25 August 2011
[FIC] Grandpa
Title: Grandpa
Characters: Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 845
Summary: He picks her up from the airport after a long leave.
A/N: And here I am with yet another one of my drabbles. x3 When the stress gets too much, I start drabbling I guess. LoL. =P This one's just my futile attempt at writing a good fluff fic. Turns out I'm not that good in fluff. Which also explains why I'm not much for all the loveydovey scenes in my novels. I am more for the endless discussions and arrogant characters I guess? xD -dies- Anyway. Here's the drabble. Hope you enjoy. ^^ Oh, as to why the 'Grandpa'.. I was talking about Yesung being Yeye to my dongsaeng-ah and she asked me if Yeye didn't mean grandfather in Chinese. I have no idea if it does or not, but since then, I'm calling Yesung grandpa. x3
- - - - -
“Grandpa!” the girl calls out, running up to the young man who has been waiting for her. She drops her bag a few paces before reaching him and then flings herself into his arms to hug him tightly. The young man laughs softly, putting his arms around the girl as well and pressing his face in her hair as she holds on to him. He smells the faint scent of spring flowers, a fragrance that always seems to hang around her no matter what season it is, and a genuine smile lights up his expression.
“How have you been?” he asks, not yet letting go of her slim body as this is the first time in months that he is able to hold her. She smiles against his chest and nuzzles her face against his neck.
“Does it matter?” she then wonders out loud, taking in his scent that reminds her of strength, of support, of love and, most of all, of home. She feels how he lets a hand run over her back and closes her eyes to enjoy the feeling all the more. “I’m doing fine now, that’s all that counts.”
He chuckles as he hears her words, letting his cheek rest on her head. A soft sigh can be heard from her, making the smile on his face widen a little. He realises that it feels good to hold her again, to be close to her again, and that he has missed that feeling in the time that she was gone. It’s only now that she’s back, however, that he feels the absence there has been when she wasn’t around. It feels like he has not been whole anymore ever since she left, but that the hole inside of him is now finally filled again.
“I guess that’s true.” he mumbles in reply to what she said before and he closes his eyes as well, unwilling to let the moment pass just yet. He breathes in the smell of spring flowers once again and knows that he doesn’t want to ever let go again.
Yet life isn’t that kind to him, for she pulls away after a few minutes have passed. She doesn’t really want to herself, but has no choice, as people are starting to give them attention. Kind, understanding smiles are flashed their way and elbows are nudged in other people’s side to point out the happy-looking couple in the middle of the airport. It is not that she minds having other people around when hugging him, but she can’t really afford for him to be recognised in the middle of an overcrowded airport, tenderly hugging some random girl.
As she unlocks her arms from around his body, she feels his reluctance in letting go. It brings a smile to her face and she reaches for his hand to intertwine her fingers with his, showing him that she does not want to let go yet either, but has no other choice. She gives his hand a reassuring squeeze as she picks up her bag again and they set off to the exit of the airport. All around them, people are rushing to catch their flights or get a last minute booking done, but neither of them feels like being hasty. Their pace is calm, synchronised and relaxed. Once outside, he gently takes her to a waiting taxi and lets her slide in first. When they’re settled on the backseat, he tells the driver where to go.
She watches how the airport slowly starts moving out of her sight, gazing at it a few moments longer before turning away from the window and giving all her attention to him. He smiles at her the moment their eyes meet, which makes her feel all warm inside. She decides to lay her head down on his lap, cuddling up as close to him as possible on the uncomfortable taxi backseat. She feels how he starts caressing her hair and for a while, a very relaxing silence settles in the car.
“Why do you keep calling me grandpa?” he suddenly asks, letting his fingers run through her hair for the umpteenth time. “It makes me feel old and people give me disapproving glares when you call me that.” He can see her smile because of his words, but she doesn’t respond. He sighs, before ending his complaint with a soft murmur. “It’s so random and weird.”
Apparently, she has heard those words, because she opens her eyes and looks up at him, a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. He can’t help but think how pretty she looks when she smiles at him like that. Slowly, she reaches up a hand to caress his cheek and he eyes her as she lets her eyes wander over his face. In the end, she drops her hand again, shifting a little closer to him as she closes her eyes again.
“That’s exactly why it suits you, oppa.” she mumbles, and he remembers exactly why he has missed her so much in the past months.
Characters: Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 845
Summary: He picks her up from the airport after a long leave.
A/N: And here I am with yet another one of my drabbles. x3 When the stress gets too much, I start drabbling I guess. LoL. =P This one's just my futile attempt at writing a good fluff fic. Turns out I'm not that good in fluff. Which also explains why I'm not much for all the loveydovey scenes in my novels. I am more for the endless discussions and arrogant characters I guess? xD -dies- Anyway. Here's the drabble. Hope you enjoy. ^^ Oh, as to why the 'Grandpa'.. I was talking about Yesung being Yeye to my dongsaeng-ah and she asked me if Yeye didn't mean grandfather in Chinese. I have no idea if it does or not, but since then, I'm calling Yesung grandpa. x3
- - - - -
“Grandpa!” the girl calls out, running up to the young man who has been waiting for her. She drops her bag a few paces before reaching him and then flings herself into his arms to hug him tightly. The young man laughs softly, putting his arms around the girl as well and pressing his face in her hair as she holds on to him. He smells the faint scent of spring flowers, a fragrance that always seems to hang around her no matter what season it is, and a genuine smile lights up his expression.
“How have you been?” he asks, not yet letting go of her slim body as this is the first time in months that he is able to hold her. She smiles against his chest and nuzzles her face against his neck.
“Does it matter?” she then wonders out loud, taking in his scent that reminds her of strength, of support, of love and, most of all, of home. She feels how he lets a hand run over her back and closes her eyes to enjoy the feeling all the more. “I’m doing fine now, that’s all that counts.”
He chuckles as he hears her words, letting his cheek rest on her head. A soft sigh can be heard from her, making the smile on his face widen a little. He realises that it feels good to hold her again, to be close to her again, and that he has missed that feeling in the time that she was gone. It’s only now that she’s back, however, that he feels the absence there has been when she wasn’t around. It feels like he has not been whole anymore ever since she left, but that the hole inside of him is now finally filled again.
“I guess that’s true.” he mumbles in reply to what she said before and he closes his eyes as well, unwilling to let the moment pass just yet. He breathes in the smell of spring flowers once again and knows that he doesn’t want to ever let go again.
Yet life isn’t that kind to him, for she pulls away after a few minutes have passed. She doesn’t really want to herself, but has no choice, as people are starting to give them attention. Kind, understanding smiles are flashed their way and elbows are nudged in other people’s side to point out the happy-looking couple in the middle of the airport. It is not that she minds having other people around when hugging him, but she can’t really afford for him to be recognised in the middle of an overcrowded airport, tenderly hugging some random girl.
As she unlocks her arms from around his body, she feels his reluctance in letting go. It brings a smile to her face and she reaches for his hand to intertwine her fingers with his, showing him that she does not want to let go yet either, but has no other choice. She gives his hand a reassuring squeeze as she picks up her bag again and they set off to the exit of the airport. All around them, people are rushing to catch their flights or get a last minute booking done, but neither of them feels like being hasty. Their pace is calm, synchronised and relaxed. Once outside, he gently takes her to a waiting taxi and lets her slide in first. When they’re settled on the backseat, he tells the driver where to go.
She watches how the airport slowly starts moving out of her sight, gazing at it a few moments longer before turning away from the window and giving all her attention to him. He smiles at her the moment their eyes meet, which makes her feel all warm inside. She decides to lay her head down on his lap, cuddling up as close to him as possible on the uncomfortable taxi backseat. She feels how he starts caressing her hair and for a while, a very relaxing silence settles in the car.
“Why do you keep calling me grandpa?” he suddenly asks, letting his fingers run through her hair for the umpteenth time. “It makes me feel old and people give me disapproving glares when you call me that.” He can see her smile because of his words, but she doesn’t respond. He sighs, before ending his complaint with a soft murmur. “It’s so random and weird.”
Apparently, she has heard those words, because she opens her eyes and looks up at him, a smile pulling up the corners of her mouth. He can’t help but think how pretty she looks when she smiles at him like that. Slowly, she reaches up a hand to caress his cheek and he eyes her as she lets her eyes wander over his face. In the end, she drops her hand again, shifting a little closer to him as she closes her eyes again.
“That’s exactly why it suits you, oppa.” she mumbles, and he remembers exactly why he has missed her so much in the past months.
Fic Challenge - 016; Quiet Places [11/100]
Title: Quiet Places
Characters: Yesung/Ryeowook
Rating: G
Wordcount: 608
Summary: Yesung misses hearing laughter.
A/N: So.. Yeah.. Still angsty? I really suck at happy lately. Sorry to my readers. But do enjoy. ♥
- - - - -
One step. Two steps.
It was hard at first, going on even though so much had changed. He sought out the places where it was the least crowded, where they’d leave him alone. After all, they’d still give him those disapproving looks, even though many of them had told him they understood. He didn’t get why they pretended to care when it was so obviously fake – to anyone watching. But of course they did not understand, after all he had lied to them. Or better; he hadn’t told them the whole truth. He didn’t want their pity, their so called support. He was the silent resolve behind the group and he wanted to stay like that, even if it meant earning some of their anger. He could take it better than their tears anyway.
Three steps. Four steps.
Sometimes he’d go out to the park, wanting to see some of the world, wanting to escape the dark silence of the dorm. He’d watch the children play, watch the people walk their dog, watch people laugh together. That’s probably what he misses most; laughter. He misses the feeling of mirth, the happiness radiating from the joyful sound. Sometimes he wishes he could go back. To how it had been. To before he disappointed his members. Yet he knows it’s impossible, despite how much he wishes for it.
Five steps. Six steps.
He’s most often to be find in his room these days. It’s a nice place to be. He’s undisturbed by anyone, even if he still lives in the dorm. He’s relaxed, knowing that he’s unable to be surprised. When the door opens, he notices. When someone enters, he notices. When they don’t need him, they don’t come in. He likes his room best, where nothing or no one blames him for not participating in the fifth album. How can he? Besides, now that he stepped out, the others have more parts to sing, which leaves the rap parts for Kibum. There’s a good reason they asked the maknae to come back after all. But the rest of the members don’t understand, don’t get his reasons. They’re not supposed to either.
Seven steps. Eight steps.
A hand is put on his shoulder and he looks up into the smiling face of his roommate. The door is closed now and – for the first time in a long time – locked. He feels himself relax a little more, letting go of the painful feeling for a while. In return to his roommate’s smile he quirks his lips upwards and pretends there’s feeling behind it. The other doesn’t buy it of course. So he stops smiling and asks the question with his eyes.
“They asked me why you’re always in your room lately, never watching a movie with them, never having fun anymore.” He reads the words off his roommates lips, the higher pitched voice resounding in his mind like a flash of a memory.
“What did you say?” he questions, focusing on making his voice that perfect tone; understandable yet not too loud. His roommate smiles again and puts a hand on his shoulder as he sits down next to him.
“That you like quiet places.” Once again his eyes linger on the other’s lips and he marvels over the answer, letting it seep through his mind. And then he laughs, his chest trembling with his mirth, gasping for air in between the bursts of laughter. But soon it dies away as he sees the other laughing too and realises how much he misses laughter. He’d give anything to be able to hear it again.
To him, there’s nothing but quiet places.
Characters: Yesung/Ryeowook
Rating: G
Wordcount: 608
Summary: Yesung misses hearing laughter.
A/N: So.. Yeah.. Still angsty? I really suck at happy lately. Sorry to my readers. But do enjoy. ♥
- - - - -
One step. Two steps.
It was hard at first, going on even though so much had changed. He sought out the places where it was the least crowded, where they’d leave him alone. After all, they’d still give him those disapproving looks, even though many of them had told him they understood. He didn’t get why they pretended to care when it was so obviously fake – to anyone watching. But of course they did not understand, after all he had lied to them. Or better; he hadn’t told them the whole truth. He didn’t want their pity, their so called support. He was the silent resolve behind the group and he wanted to stay like that, even if it meant earning some of their anger. He could take it better than their tears anyway.
Three steps. Four steps.
Sometimes he’d go out to the park, wanting to see some of the world, wanting to escape the dark silence of the dorm. He’d watch the children play, watch the people walk their dog, watch people laugh together. That’s probably what he misses most; laughter. He misses the feeling of mirth, the happiness radiating from the joyful sound. Sometimes he wishes he could go back. To how it had been. To before he disappointed his members. Yet he knows it’s impossible, despite how much he wishes for it.
Five steps. Six steps.
He’s most often to be find in his room these days. It’s a nice place to be. He’s undisturbed by anyone, even if he still lives in the dorm. He’s relaxed, knowing that he’s unable to be surprised. When the door opens, he notices. When someone enters, he notices. When they don’t need him, they don’t come in. He likes his room best, where nothing or no one blames him for not participating in the fifth album. How can he? Besides, now that he stepped out, the others have more parts to sing, which leaves the rap parts for Kibum. There’s a good reason they asked the maknae to come back after all. But the rest of the members don’t understand, don’t get his reasons. They’re not supposed to either.
Seven steps. Eight steps.
A hand is put on his shoulder and he looks up into the smiling face of his roommate. The door is closed now and – for the first time in a long time – locked. He feels himself relax a little more, letting go of the painful feeling for a while. In return to his roommate’s smile he quirks his lips upwards and pretends there’s feeling behind it. The other doesn’t buy it of course. So he stops smiling and asks the question with his eyes.
“They asked me why you’re always in your room lately, never watching a movie with them, never having fun anymore.” He reads the words off his roommates lips, the higher pitched voice resounding in his mind like a flash of a memory.
“What did you say?” he questions, focusing on making his voice that perfect tone; understandable yet not too loud. His roommate smiles again and puts a hand on his shoulder as he sits down next to him.
“That you like quiet places.” Once again his eyes linger on the other’s lips and he marvels over the answer, letting it seep through his mind. And then he laughs, his chest trembling with his mirth, gasping for air in between the bursts of laughter. But soon it dies away as he sees the other laughing too and realises how much he misses laughter. He’d give anything to be able to hear it again.
To him, there’s nothing but quiet places.
[FIC] The aftermath of leaving
Title: The aftermath of leaving
Characters: Jongwoon, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 625
Summary: Even though he's the one who decided to go, it seems she let go easier than he did.
A/N: I'm doing a Role Play with my bestie on MSN and since we've been doing this for like 4 or 5 months already, a lot of stuff has happened so far. Not too long ago some events got me to write this when Jongwoon's POV suddenly possessed me during economics class. I quite liked it despite the drama. x]
- - - - -
Sometimes he wondered whether things could have been different. If he had not wanted the other’s happiness so much, if he had just been selfish, would they still be together? It ate at him in the early crooks of morning or in the dark hours of the night when he was hidden away in Jungsoo’s arms, trying to fend off tears that didn’t seem to ever stop running over his cheeks. He would huddle closer into the warmth of the elder’s embrace, trying not to wake him up because the leader obviously needed his sleep more than anyone else in the dorm.
He envied Hyukjae, really, for being able to go from best friend to boyfriend and then back to best friend just like that. He found it hard to imagine being close to her, but not being allowed to hold, touching her but not being allowed to kiss, hugging her but then having to let go again to see her hide away in someone else’s arms, smiling that special bright smile at his hyung instead of at him. He wanted to hate her, but he loved her too much for that. He wanted a shut down button for feelings, but of course there was no such thing. The only thing he could do was suffer in silence, his feelings eating him from the inside out, with nothing to take his mind away from the pain.
Perfection wasn’t so bad after all, he mused in the dark of the night while Jungsoo’s even breathing tried to lull him into sleep but failed terribly at that. He remembered Heechul complaining once that it sucked to be considered perfect, because everyone expected him to always do the perfect things and react in perfect ways while he was just a human being like everyone else. Yet that didn’t seem to stop his hyung from getting hisgorgeous, slender and perfect hands on the girl that was supposed to be his.
She HAD been his, he realised with bitter regret, but he had let her go because he thought she wasn't happy with him. He had told her to go find someone who made her happy, but he certainly had not expected for her to stumble into Heechul's arms in her desperation after being left by herself. She could not be alone, she told him, but he had waved it off as an attempt to get him back. Yet she hadn’t been lying and she had searched for someone else to fill up the empty spot he had left. And somehow that stuck up, arrogant hyung of his had found it in himself to get a heart - right at the wrong time of course - and fall in love. With his girl. And she started loving that perfect hyung too. She had even chosen Heechul over him.
If someone would ask him to portray love through a picture, he’d find them an image of a broken heart, thrown around the room and stepped on multiple times, before being put back together with red painted duct tape, as if to mask the artificial feeling of it all. He’d stuff the image under their nose and rub them into the cruelty of the image, until they would all realise just how much his heart was like that and how much he wished she’d just come back to him and mend the ruptures with one touch of her hand.
But she didn’t. She wouldn’t. She left and it was his own fault. He’d never hold her again, touch her again or kiss her again. With that crushing thought, he hid his face against Jungsoo’s chest again and spilled more useless tears, because there was no other way to express his agony.
Characters: Jongwoon, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 625
Summary: Even though he's the one who decided to go, it seems she let go easier than he did.
A/N: I'm doing a Role Play with my bestie on MSN and since we've been doing this for like 4 or 5 months already, a lot of stuff has happened so far. Not too long ago some events got me to write this when Jongwoon's POV suddenly possessed me during economics class. I quite liked it despite the drama. x]
- - - - -
Sometimes he wondered whether things could have been different. If he had not wanted the other’s happiness so much, if he had just been selfish, would they still be together? It ate at him in the early crooks of morning or in the dark hours of the night when he was hidden away in Jungsoo’s arms, trying to fend off tears that didn’t seem to ever stop running over his cheeks. He would huddle closer into the warmth of the elder’s embrace, trying not to wake him up because the leader obviously needed his sleep more than anyone else in the dorm.
He envied Hyukjae, really, for being able to go from best friend to boyfriend and then back to best friend just like that. He found it hard to imagine being close to her, but not being allowed to hold, touching her but not being allowed to kiss, hugging her but then having to let go again to see her hide away in someone else’s arms, smiling that special bright smile at his hyung instead of at him. He wanted to hate her, but he loved her too much for that. He wanted a shut down button for feelings, but of course there was no such thing. The only thing he could do was suffer in silence, his feelings eating him from the inside out, with nothing to take his mind away from the pain.
Perfection wasn’t so bad after all, he mused in the dark of the night while Jungsoo’s even breathing tried to lull him into sleep but failed terribly at that. He remembered Heechul complaining once that it sucked to be considered perfect, because everyone expected him to always do the perfect things and react in perfect ways while he was just a human being like everyone else. Yet that didn’t seem to stop his hyung from getting his
She HAD been his, he realised with bitter regret, but he had let her go because he thought she wasn't happy with him. He had told her to go find someone who made her happy, but he certainly had not expected for her to stumble into Heechul's arms in her desperation after being left by herself. She could not be alone, she told him, but he had waved it off as an attempt to get him back. Yet she hadn’t been lying and she had searched for someone else to fill up the empty spot he had left. And somehow that stuck up, arrogant hyung of his had found it in himself to get a heart - right at the wrong time of course - and fall in love. With his girl. And she started loving that perfect hyung too. She had even chosen Heechul over him.
If someone would ask him to portray love through a picture, he’d find them an image of a broken heart, thrown around the room and stepped on multiple times, before being put back together with red painted duct tape, as if to mask the artificial feeling of it all. He’d stuff the image under their nose and rub them into the cruelty of the image, until they would all realise just how much his heart was like that and how much he wished she’d just come back to him and mend the ruptures with one touch of her hand.
But she didn’t. She wouldn’t. She left and it was his own fault. He’d never hold her again, touch her again or kiss her again. With that crushing thought, he hid his face against Jungsoo’s chest again and spilled more useless tears, because there was no other way to express his agony.
Fic Challenge - 079; The Same Old Thing [6/100]
Title: The Same Old Thing
Characters: Leeteuk/Yesung
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1.053
Summary: Where Yesung's trying to make his hyung quit.
A/N: So I posted this on SJW first before posting it here and everyone seemed to think the main role fit Heechul incredibly well, but I'm sad to say that I didn't write it with him in mind. (: Here's the real deal.. Teuk's probably completely OOC and everything's hugely messed up (why would they need phone calls?) but still.. Enjoy.
- - - - -
It was another one of those weekday evenings where he had just returned from schedules, tired as hell, but unable to sleep like everyone else oh so wisely did. He leaned against the kitchen cupboard, one hand on the sink, one hand plucking the cigarette from between his lips so he could nonchalantly exhale the intoxicating smoke. His right shoulder was pulled up a little, thereby keeping the phone securely against his ear, making him able to listen to the one on the other side speaking to him - or more nagging at him at that moment.
“You should really quit, hyung.” it sounded in the form of a sigh, making him smirk, because the other always said that. “It’s not good for you and you know it. Everyone knows it. Remember how good you could sing before and how much of a mess your voice is now.” He snorted, inhaling another breath of smoke and holding it in his mouth for a moment before exhaling it towards the window. “Well, you won’t listen anyway, I know that. It’s time for me to go sleep. You should do the same.” the voice continued, the last words making him freeze in his movements.
“Talk to me a little longer.” he uttered, the first time he spoke again in a long time. It was always like that; he would call up the other, they would exchange the general greetings and then he would settle back into a silence while the other talked non-stop about his day and everything that had happened to him. After a while the other would run out of things to say and tell him to go sleep, but he’d always ask for more stories, more talking, more time to listen to the other’s rough voice and blocking everything else out of his mind.
“I can’t today.” the other sighed, effectively making him stand up straight and pay full attention to the conversation again.
“What do you mean you can’t?” he demanded to know, narrowing his eyes even though the other couldn’t see him. The cigarette between his lips suddenly didn’t appeal to him anymore and he took it from between his lips to put it out in the ashtray. With his other hand he took hold of the phone and he paced towards the other side of the kitchen to get a glass and fill it with water. As he put it to his lips, there was finally a sound again on the other side and he could hear the other shuffle underneath his blankets.
“You know I need my sleep. I’ve been lacking too much sleep already lately, I feel like my head might explode any moment now.” the answer came and he imagined the other frowning and softly rubbing his forehead in a vain hope that the touch might clear the headache. He gulped down the glass of water in one go, putting it down and walking out of the kitchen, back to his own room. “I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay? What time are you free?” the other tried when the silence lasted, which was never a good sign.
“I’m not free tomorrow.” he almost immediately retorted, voice slightly annoyed. “I’ve got schedules all day and I need to get up early the day after, so I need to sleep early.” His hand moved up out of an automatism to pluck the cigarette from between his lips, but he stopped the movement halfway and dropped it again when he realised there was nothing to remove. An annoyed frown appeared on his face and he soon found the package of cigarettes in the pocket of his sweater. He stuck the phone between his shoulder and ear again to be able to pluck one out and light it up.
“The day after tomorrow then.” the other muttered to him meanwhile, obviously not pleased with the news that had just been passed on. “You should really quit, you know. The cigarettes are not making your mood any better either and the last thing I need is having the others call me as well to complain about your foul moods and to tell me to do something about it. Despite what you might like to think, I am not your slave, so please deal with their complains yourself.”
“Will do, your highness.” he snapped, annoyed at the never ending nagging of the other. “Anything else? Maybe I should donate to the poor and start a biological food industry?” He grumbled some curses, before taking the phone in his free hand once again and biting a “No thanks, I’ll pass. Goodnight. I hope you get haunted by nightmares.” into it. He ended the call, throwing the phone across the room and onto his bed in a fit of anger. When the smoke of the second inhale left his mouth again, he already felt guilty for cutting short the conversation like that, because everything had become very silent once more.
He walked up to the window, opening it and staring outside into the night. The lights of the city were almost blinding and the amount of noise coming from the busy streets was incredible, yet it somehow didn’t make his surroundings any less silent, as if someone had muted the whole world around him just to annoy the hell out of him. He stayed in the opened window until he finished his cigarette, after which he flicked the thing outside without any second thoughts. Right at that moment his phone beeped and he closed the window again before walking up to the bed to fetch the phone and read the text.
‘That’s the third time this week. I’d say I should just stop calling, but we both know I won’t anyway, so just take care. I love you.’
He snorted at the amount of cheesy nonsense that filled the text, but as he flopped down on his bed - still fully clothed and not bothering to get underneath the covers - a smile spread on his face anyway. He closed his eyes and fell asleep with thoughts about long past times when he didn’t need cigarettes or daily phone calls to have a smile on his face, a time where not every day was the same as the previous one and things seemed happier.
Characters: Leeteuk/Yesung
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1.053
Summary: Where Yesung's trying to make his hyung quit.
A/N: So I posted this on SJW first before posting it here and everyone seemed to think the main role fit Heechul incredibly well, but I'm sad to say that I didn't write it with him in mind. (: Here's the real deal.. Teuk's probably completely OOC and everything's hugely messed up (why would they need phone calls?) but still.. Enjoy.
- - - - -
It was another one of those weekday evenings where he had just returned from schedules, tired as hell, but unable to sleep like everyone else oh so wisely did. He leaned against the kitchen cupboard, one hand on the sink, one hand plucking the cigarette from between his lips so he could nonchalantly exhale the intoxicating smoke. His right shoulder was pulled up a little, thereby keeping the phone securely against his ear, making him able to listen to the one on the other side speaking to him - or more nagging at him at that moment.
“You should really quit, hyung.” it sounded in the form of a sigh, making him smirk, because the other always said that. “It’s not good for you and you know it. Everyone knows it. Remember how good you could sing before and how much of a mess your voice is now.” He snorted, inhaling another breath of smoke and holding it in his mouth for a moment before exhaling it towards the window. “Well, you won’t listen anyway, I know that. It’s time for me to go sleep. You should do the same.” the voice continued, the last words making him freeze in his movements.
“Talk to me a little longer.” he uttered, the first time he spoke again in a long time. It was always like that; he would call up the other, they would exchange the general greetings and then he would settle back into a silence while the other talked non-stop about his day and everything that had happened to him. After a while the other would run out of things to say and tell him to go sleep, but he’d always ask for more stories, more talking, more time to listen to the other’s rough voice and blocking everything else out of his mind.
“I can’t today.” the other sighed, effectively making him stand up straight and pay full attention to the conversation again.
“What do you mean you can’t?” he demanded to know, narrowing his eyes even though the other couldn’t see him. The cigarette between his lips suddenly didn’t appeal to him anymore and he took it from between his lips to put it out in the ashtray. With his other hand he took hold of the phone and he paced towards the other side of the kitchen to get a glass and fill it with water. As he put it to his lips, there was finally a sound again on the other side and he could hear the other shuffle underneath his blankets.
“You know I need my sleep. I’ve been lacking too much sleep already lately, I feel like my head might explode any moment now.” the answer came and he imagined the other frowning and softly rubbing his forehead in a vain hope that the touch might clear the headache. He gulped down the glass of water in one go, putting it down and walking out of the kitchen, back to his own room. “I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay? What time are you free?” the other tried when the silence lasted, which was never a good sign.
“I’m not free tomorrow.” he almost immediately retorted, voice slightly annoyed. “I’ve got schedules all day and I need to get up early the day after, so I need to sleep early.” His hand moved up out of an automatism to pluck the cigarette from between his lips, but he stopped the movement halfway and dropped it again when he realised there was nothing to remove. An annoyed frown appeared on his face and he soon found the package of cigarettes in the pocket of his sweater. He stuck the phone between his shoulder and ear again to be able to pluck one out and light it up.
“The day after tomorrow then.” the other muttered to him meanwhile, obviously not pleased with the news that had just been passed on. “You should really quit, you know. The cigarettes are not making your mood any better either and the last thing I need is having the others call me as well to complain about your foul moods and to tell me to do something about it. Despite what you might like to think, I am not your slave, so please deal with their complains yourself.”
“Will do, your highness.” he snapped, annoyed at the never ending nagging of the other. “Anything else? Maybe I should donate to the poor and start a biological food industry?” He grumbled some curses, before taking the phone in his free hand once again and biting a “No thanks, I’ll pass. Goodnight. I hope you get haunted by nightmares.” into it. He ended the call, throwing the phone across the room and onto his bed in a fit of anger. When the smoke of the second inhale left his mouth again, he already felt guilty for cutting short the conversation like that, because everything had become very silent once more.
He walked up to the window, opening it and staring outside into the night. The lights of the city were almost blinding and the amount of noise coming from the busy streets was incredible, yet it somehow didn’t make his surroundings any less silent, as if someone had muted the whole world around him just to annoy the hell out of him. He stayed in the opened window until he finished his cigarette, after which he flicked the thing outside without any second thoughts. Right at that moment his phone beeped and he closed the window again before walking up to the bed to fetch the phone and read the text.
‘That’s the third time this week. I’d say I should just stop calling, but we both know I won’t anyway, so just take care. I love you.’
He snorted at the amount of cheesy nonsense that filled the text, but as he flopped down on his bed - still fully clothed and not bothering to get underneath the covers - a smile spread on his face anyway. He closed his eyes and fell asleep with thoughts about long past times when he didn’t need cigarettes or daily phone calls to have a smile on his face, a time where not every day was the same as the previous one and things seemed happier.
Wednesday, 24 August 2011
[FIC] Creep
Title: Creep
Characters: Yesung, Sungmin
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.203
Summary: Sometimes Sungmin wonders why he knows this person..
A/N: Because Yeye making Min smile is underrated. (Not that that has anything to do with this story..)
- - - - -
Sungmin sighed as he looked up from his book to stare out the window. A pair of strangely sparkling eyes was only centimetres away from his. He managed to hold back a scream as he jerked his head away from them. A mocking chuckle sounded from the owner of the eyes. He felt his heartbeat calm down when he recognized the other. When did this guy get in? As his eyes flashed to the door, he noticed it was locked. And why would he lock the door?
“Why did you lock the door?”
“For the same reason everyone else does. I don’t want people to break in on my privacy.”
What?
“Then why am I still here?”
Again the mocking chuckle. He had come to hate the sound because it meant the other was up to no good. He let his eyes wander around the room. Exactly like he thought; there was nothing to use as an excuse to get up from the bed. He had already learned quite a while ago that the bed was a dangerous place to be when Yesung was up to no good. He could still clearly remember the time he had been taking a nap to wake up with his hand and feet tied together. There also was this time when his hyung had hid a spider under the blanket. He had screamed so loud even members from the twelfth floor had rushed down to see what was wrong. Gosh, this bed really wasn’t safe. Why did he still read books on it?
“Because this is your room as well, I guess.”
It took Sungmin a moment to realize the other was responding to his earlier question. Right. He gathered all his courage and looked down at his book again to go on reading. After a few minutes spent in total silence, he sighed and looked up again. The other hadn’t moved an inch, if he had not come closer even, and had kept staring at him.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Could you stop staring then?”
“But I like to look at you.”
Sigh.
“You also like to look at dust particles. Can’t you look at one of those now?”
“There is no sunlight, I can’t see them.”
With another sigh, Sungmin gave up the discussion and turned his eyes back to his book. It was some kind of corny romance story. He had started reading without caring about the plot or anything. As long as he could read it without having to think about it, he thought it good enough. Time passed and gradually, he started to forget about the other, as Yesung hadn’t moved anymore and the silence was never interrupted.
“She kissed him gently on his forehead, her hand resting on the hem of his jacket. As she closed her eyes, she moved her lips a little to the side, brushing them against his skin in another kiss. Like that, she made her way down the side of his face towards his mouth..”
A shock went through him as his hyung suddenly spoke, saying aloud the words he had been reading at that very moment. The sudden sound of the other’s voice had startled him and he turned to give Yesung a vicious look. Again the strangely sparkling eyes were terribly close. This time, he didn’t jerk away, but instead let go of his book with one hand to push the other away a little. Yesung, however, didn’t seem intimidated at all as he talked again, carefully putting a hand on Sungmin’s lower arm.
“Would you like that as well?”
Sungmin sighed and turned his face back to his book as he replied.
“What?”
Instead of hearing an explanation, he felt a soft hand on his cheek and his head was slowly turned to face his hyung. The two sparkling eyes finally moved away from his and a gentle kiss was pressed on his forehead. Only seconds later, another kiss landed a little more to the right. He felt the warm breath of the other brush against his skin. Before he could react, he received two more kisses, all a little next to the other. When he finally got over his shock, he let go of his book and pushed away the other as hard as he could with both hands.
“Ya!! Yesung!! Stop it!!”
He glared at his hyung with the best angry look he had, putting all of his annoyance into his expression. The other, again, was not intimidated. As he muttered some irritated words under his breath, he got up from the bed to walk to the door. The best strategy now was to just walk into the living room and have Yesung focus his attention on someone else. Ryeowook for example. Before he had reached his goal, however, he was grabbed by his wrist and pulled back. As he clashed into the other one’s unexpectedly muscular body, he felt the book slip out of his hand. A soft thud sounded up when it hit the floor.
“Hyung, what are you doing? Let go of me. I’m not into your silly games right now!”
“But what if this is not a game? What if this is real?”
Sungmin stared. Was Yesung gay? Right when he wanted to react, he again felt the soft lips of the other brush against his skin as two more kisses were pressed on his face. He cringed, trying to pull his head away from the older guy who was meanwhile starting to scare him. He was held tightly by the other, however, so even trying to pull away did not help. A kiss landed on his cheek and another one a little more to the left. With unbelieving shock, he realized Yesung was really planning to kiss him on the mouth in not too long of time. He gathered all the strength he could find in his small body and pulled his hands free, grabbing the other in some complex martial arts hold and catapulting him onto the bed.
“I said stop it!”
Furious, he bend down to pick up his book, unlocked the door and walked out, pulling the door closed behind him with a loud smash.
“Creep.” he muttered as he walked to the couch to continue his reading.
Yesung stayed behind in the room. A little smile appeared on his face and he turned to grab something from under the bed. For a while, he simply studied the magazine, but then he ticked off the right answer and scrabbled something on the colourful paper.
How to tell if your roommate is gay:
1. Does he/she like pink? Yes
2. Does he/she sleep in pyjamas instead of boxers? Yes
3. Does he/she check out people from the same sex? No
4. Does he/she act flirty towards people from the same sex? No
5. Does he/she have characteristics of someone from the other gender? Some
6. Does he/she like it when you imply sexual contact? No
7. Does he/she flirt back when you hit on him/her? Definitely no
Conclusion: Sungmin is not gay.
He read the lines once more, nodding a little to himself, before adding another part to the conclusion.
Or he’s just not into me..
Characters: Yesung, Sungmin
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.203
Summary: Sometimes Sungmin wonders why he knows this person..
A/N: Because Yeye making Min smile is underrated. (Not that that has anything to do with this story..)
- - - - -
Sungmin sighed as he looked up from his book to stare out the window. A pair of strangely sparkling eyes was only centimetres away from his. He managed to hold back a scream as he jerked his head away from them. A mocking chuckle sounded from the owner of the eyes. He felt his heartbeat calm down when he recognized the other. When did this guy get in? As his eyes flashed to the door, he noticed it was locked. And why would he lock the door?
“Why did you lock the door?”
“For the same reason everyone else does. I don’t want people to break in on my privacy.”
What?
“Then why am I still here?”
Again the mocking chuckle. He had come to hate the sound because it meant the other was up to no good. He let his eyes wander around the room. Exactly like he thought; there was nothing to use as an excuse to get up from the bed. He had already learned quite a while ago that the bed was a dangerous place to be when Yesung was up to no good. He could still clearly remember the time he had been taking a nap to wake up with his hand and feet tied together. There also was this time when his hyung had hid a spider under the blanket. He had screamed so loud even members from the twelfth floor had rushed down to see what was wrong. Gosh, this bed really wasn’t safe. Why did he still read books on it?
“Because this is your room as well, I guess.”
It took Sungmin a moment to realize the other was responding to his earlier question. Right. He gathered all his courage and looked down at his book again to go on reading. After a few minutes spent in total silence, he sighed and looked up again. The other hadn’t moved an inch, if he had not come closer even, and had kept staring at him.
“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Could you stop staring then?”
“But I like to look at you.”
Sigh.
“You also like to look at dust particles. Can’t you look at one of those now?”
“There is no sunlight, I can’t see them.”
With another sigh, Sungmin gave up the discussion and turned his eyes back to his book. It was some kind of corny romance story. He had started reading without caring about the plot or anything. As long as he could read it without having to think about it, he thought it good enough. Time passed and gradually, he started to forget about the other, as Yesung hadn’t moved anymore and the silence was never interrupted.
“She kissed him gently on his forehead, her hand resting on the hem of his jacket. As she closed her eyes, she moved her lips a little to the side, brushing them against his skin in another kiss. Like that, she made her way down the side of his face towards his mouth..”
A shock went through him as his hyung suddenly spoke, saying aloud the words he had been reading at that very moment. The sudden sound of the other’s voice had startled him and he turned to give Yesung a vicious look. Again the strangely sparkling eyes were terribly close. This time, he didn’t jerk away, but instead let go of his book with one hand to push the other away a little. Yesung, however, didn’t seem intimidated at all as he talked again, carefully putting a hand on Sungmin’s lower arm.
“Would you like that as well?”
Sungmin sighed and turned his face back to his book as he replied.
“What?”
Instead of hearing an explanation, he felt a soft hand on his cheek and his head was slowly turned to face his hyung. The two sparkling eyes finally moved away from his and a gentle kiss was pressed on his forehead. Only seconds later, another kiss landed a little more to the right. He felt the warm breath of the other brush against his skin. Before he could react, he received two more kisses, all a little next to the other. When he finally got over his shock, he let go of his book and pushed away the other as hard as he could with both hands.
“Ya!! Yesung!! Stop it!!”
He glared at his hyung with the best angry look he had, putting all of his annoyance into his expression. The other, again, was not intimidated. As he muttered some irritated words under his breath, he got up from the bed to walk to the door. The best strategy now was to just walk into the living room and have Yesung focus his attention on someone else. Ryeowook for example. Before he had reached his goal, however, he was grabbed by his wrist and pulled back. As he clashed into the other one’s unexpectedly muscular body, he felt the book slip out of his hand. A soft thud sounded up when it hit the floor.
“Hyung, what are you doing? Let go of me. I’m not into your silly games right now!”
“But what if this is not a game? What if this is real?”
Sungmin stared. Was Yesung gay? Right when he wanted to react, he again felt the soft lips of the other brush against his skin as two more kisses were pressed on his face. He cringed, trying to pull his head away from the older guy who was meanwhile starting to scare him. He was held tightly by the other, however, so even trying to pull away did not help. A kiss landed on his cheek and another one a little more to the left. With unbelieving shock, he realized Yesung was really planning to kiss him on the mouth in not too long of time. He gathered all the strength he could find in his small body and pulled his hands free, grabbing the other in some complex martial arts hold and catapulting him onto the bed.
“I said stop it!”
Furious, he bend down to pick up his book, unlocked the door and walked out, pulling the door closed behind him with a loud smash.
“Creep.” he muttered as he walked to the couch to continue his reading.
Yesung stayed behind in the room. A little smile appeared on his face and he turned to grab something from under the bed. For a while, he simply studied the magazine, but then he ticked off the right answer and scrabbled something on the colourful paper.
How to tell if your roommate is gay:
1. Does he/she like pink? Yes
2. Does he/she sleep in pyjamas instead of boxers? Yes
3. Does he/she check out people from the same sex? No
4. Does he/she act flirty towards people from the same sex? No
5. Does he/she have characteristics of someone from the other gender? Some
6. Does he/she like it when you imply sexual contact? No
7. Does he/she flirt back when you hit on him/her? Definitely no
Conclusion: Sungmin is not gay.
He read the lines once more, nodding a little to himself, before adding another part to the conclusion.
Or he’s just not into me..
Fic Challenge - 021; Park Benches [1/100]
Title: Park Benches
Characters: Yesung/Kyuhyun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.101
Summary: Yesung is overworked and Kyuhyun just doesn't know what's important anymore.
A/N: I have no idea where this came from. Yet it's here. (:
- - - - -
It’s brown, it’s old and he thinks that maybe this might just be the best place for him to spend his evening. So he sits down, settles onto the unmoving hardness of the seat and rests his back against the battered and half-ass painted wooden back support. There is a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but it’s not going past tugging, because he’s making sure to keep his expression in check. After all, he is not here to smile at the pleasantries of life, he is here to hide away from the million things he has to do and the million people to remind him of those things.
It is then that his eyes catch sight of a few youngsters playing soccer on the small grass field this inner city park holds. They’re completely into it, sidestepping each other and using all kinds of high-level soccer tricks. He watches them for a while, completely getting lost into their game, even though there is not a chance he will be joining them that day - or ever.
It’s white, with partly peeled off paint and an incredibly large amount of long dried-up bird poop all over it, but he figures it can still serve as a good spot to kill the afternoon time. So he sinks onto the cold surface that is slightly bumpy and rests his back against the iron bar that has meanwhile taken the place of the back rest. His brains are still working hard as he tries to figure out what the hell he’s doing in a park when he can just as well spend the four hours of break on something better than staring at a bunch of people he doesn’t know, because lord knows that even though there’s no schedules, it could never hurt to practice either his singing or his dancing a little more.
Right at the moment he wants to get back up, the sun breaks through the rather cloudy sky and as the rays of light touch his skin, he can already feel the warmth they’re emitting. He settles back against the cold iron and closes his eyes, letting himself be revived by the wonderful feeling of the late-summer sun on his face. A slight smile pulls up the corners of his mouth and he sighs deeply, realising it is not often that he gets to live such a moment of complete peace.
It’s green -obviously freshly repainted- with long, small planks and he wonders if whoever has repaired the old brown thing will try having a go at the other ones too. As he sits down, like he has been doing for the past few weeks, on the same day every time, his eyes land on the same group of soccer-playing boys as he has been watching for the past few weeks. Their soccer games are always the same, but today it is slightly different, with the freshly fallen leaves that rustle and die under their feet and the one little guy that is missing. He figures the boy had homework to do, or maybe caught a cold and stayed at home, so he doesn’t think much of it.
As the autumn breeze makes the leaves fly past him as well, he focuses his gaze on the beauty of the dying nature, takes in all those different colours and smiles slightly, realising how much of the regular things in life he actually misses, locked up in a recording studio or sleeping in a car or a plane on the road to yet another concert. He thinks -silently to himself, so that no one can blame him for such thoughts- that it’s nice to be able to come here every week and enjoy the scenery.
It’s white, a very flashy kind of white, completely covered in snow, and when he reaches out a hand to touch the smooth surface, he retracts it quickly even before having touched the cold, icy substance. There is a shiver running through his arm already, even though it has only been exposed to the cold outside air for under a minute. Slightly disappointed that today is not a day where he can sit down and just let go of everything to enjoy nature’s finest like he has done for the past weeks, he walks by the snow-covered seat. His hands are tucked deep into the pockets of his fake-fur coated jacket and he looks around interestedly.
Despite what he had expected, there are actually quite a lot of people still walking in the park. As he strolls through, he notices two kids making a snowman and he smiles. There is little he prefers to do in the evening, but he feels that just maybe he would love to leave his computer for a day and come make a snowman in the late hours, when everyone is long asleep.
It’s brown, it’s new and he thinks that maybe this might just be the same spot as he had come to the first time, but it certainly isn’t the same bench. He sits down anyway, settles onto the unmoving hardness of the seat and rests his back against the shiny new back support. There is a smile on his lips, pulling up the corners of his mouth into a happy expression, because it doesn’t really matter who sees it and who doesn’t. After all, there is nothing more beautiful than the pleasantries of life, so what else could he possibly want from life? For once, he does not worry about the million things he still has to do and the million people who always remind him of those things. All that matters is the fact that the team he’s rooting for just scored another goal.
It’s brown, covered in a completely new layer of paint and not a sign of bird poop anywhere, but he still knows it’s the same bench he has been sitting on for the past months. So he sinks down onto the lukewarm, smooth surface and rests his back against the spotless back rest. His brain is slowly munching over the impressions of a group of young guys playing soccer and he does not ponder anymore about the reason for his coming to the park every single time, because it has become a habit, something he does because he likes to. As he closes his eyes to enjoy the early-spring sun on his face, he leaves behind the stress that is work and for a minute is able to let go of the famous idol-identity that has been pasted on him for eternity. He figures that life is quite good like this.
Characters: Yesung/Kyuhyun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.101
Summary: Yesung is overworked and Kyuhyun just doesn't know what's important anymore.
A/N: I have no idea where this came from. Yet it's here. (:
- - - - -
It’s brown, it’s old and he thinks that maybe this might just be the best place for him to spend his evening. So he sits down, settles onto the unmoving hardness of the seat and rests his back against the battered and half-ass painted wooden back support. There is a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, but it’s not going past tugging, because he’s making sure to keep his expression in check. After all, he is not here to smile at the pleasantries of life, he is here to hide away from the million things he has to do and the million people to remind him of those things.
It is then that his eyes catch sight of a few youngsters playing soccer on the small grass field this inner city park holds. They’re completely into it, sidestepping each other and using all kinds of high-level soccer tricks. He watches them for a while, completely getting lost into their game, even though there is not a chance he will be joining them that day - or ever.
It’s white, with partly peeled off paint and an incredibly large amount of long dried-up bird poop all over it, but he figures it can still serve as a good spot to kill the afternoon time. So he sinks onto the cold surface that is slightly bumpy and rests his back against the iron bar that has meanwhile taken the place of the back rest. His brains are still working hard as he tries to figure out what the hell he’s doing in a park when he can just as well spend the four hours of break on something better than staring at a bunch of people he doesn’t know, because lord knows that even though there’s no schedules, it could never hurt to practice either his singing or his dancing a little more.
Right at the moment he wants to get back up, the sun breaks through the rather cloudy sky and as the rays of light touch his skin, he can already feel the warmth they’re emitting. He settles back against the cold iron and closes his eyes, letting himself be revived by the wonderful feeling of the late-summer sun on his face. A slight smile pulls up the corners of his mouth and he sighs deeply, realising it is not often that he gets to live such a moment of complete peace.
It’s green -obviously freshly repainted- with long, small planks and he wonders if whoever has repaired the old brown thing will try having a go at the other ones too. As he sits down, like he has been doing for the past few weeks, on the same day every time, his eyes land on the same group of soccer-playing boys as he has been watching for the past few weeks. Their soccer games are always the same, but today it is slightly different, with the freshly fallen leaves that rustle and die under their feet and the one little guy that is missing. He figures the boy had homework to do, or maybe caught a cold and stayed at home, so he doesn’t think much of it.
As the autumn breeze makes the leaves fly past him as well, he focuses his gaze on the beauty of the dying nature, takes in all those different colours and smiles slightly, realising how much of the regular things in life he actually misses, locked up in a recording studio or sleeping in a car or a plane on the road to yet another concert. He thinks -silently to himself, so that no one can blame him for such thoughts- that it’s nice to be able to come here every week and enjoy the scenery.
It’s white, a very flashy kind of white, completely covered in snow, and when he reaches out a hand to touch the smooth surface, he retracts it quickly even before having touched the cold, icy substance. There is a shiver running through his arm already, even though it has only been exposed to the cold outside air for under a minute. Slightly disappointed that today is not a day where he can sit down and just let go of everything to enjoy nature’s finest like he has done for the past weeks, he walks by the snow-covered seat. His hands are tucked deep into the pockets of his fake-fur coated jacket and he looks around interestedly.
Despite what he had expected, there are actually quite a lot of people still walking in the park. As he strolls through, he notices two kids making a snowman and he smiles. There is little he prefers to do in the evening, but he feels that just maybe he would love to leave his computer for a day and come make a snowman in the late hours, when everyone is long asleep.
It’s brown, it’s new and he thinks that maybe this might just be the same spot as he had come to the first time, but it certainly isn’t the same bench. He sits down anyway, settles onto the unmoving hardness of the seat and rests his back against the shiny new back support. There is a smile on his lips, pulling up the corners of his mouth into a happy expression, because it doesn’t really matter who sees it and who doesn’t. After all, there is nothing more beautiful than the pleasantries of life, so what else could he possibly want from life? For once, he does not worry about the million things he still has to do and the million people who always remind him of those things. All that matters is the fact that the team he’s rooting for just scored another goal.
It’s brown, covered in a completely new layer of paint and not a sign of bird poop anywhere, but he still knows it’s the same bench he has been sitting on for the past months. So he sinks down onto the lukewarm, smooth surface and rests his back against the spotless back rest. His brain is slowly munching over the impressions of a group of young guys playing soccer and he does not ponder anymore about the reason for his coming to the park every single time, because it has become a habit, something he does because he likes to. As he closes his eyes to enjoy the early-spring sun on his face, he leaves behind the stress that is work and for a minute is able to let go of the famous idol-identity that has been pasted on him for eternity. He figures that life is quite good like this.
[FIC] Perfectly Fine
Title: Perfectly Fine
Characters: Ryeowook, Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 901
Summary: Ryewook falls in love, but never really does.
A/N: I guess this one somewhat came from the same place where the Yesung one flew out from, but it's still slightly different and leaning more towards my original writing style. It's my first Ryeowook-centered fanfic and the character doesn't really feel as Ryeowook to me, but I liked it anyway, so you're getting this on your plate as well. ^.^
- - - - -
Ryeowook would never know why it happened. It wasn’t even fate, for her hands did not fit in his perfectly and his arms did not fit around her perfectly and her lips did not feel soft and sweet against his, but it was her so all that didn’t really matter to him. In fact, not much mattered anymore to him as long as it was about her. He only needed her to stay with him, to never leave him, then he would be fine. At least that’s what she had said about him, so he figured it should be the same the other way around, right?
It had started when she had put on his make-up for the first time, all smiles and politeness as she brushed the little sponge over his face and turned his ruined skin into a smooth bunch of crèmes and powders again. He had not given her a second look, had not thought her any different than the other make-up noonas. Yet he was still positive that that was when it had started, because the next time he saw her they kissed and it couldn’t possibly start directly with a kiss, could it?
So to anyone who asked Ryeowook would say that it had started that day when she had put on his make-up and that he had liked her from the start. But he knew he was lying, because if he was honest to himself, he did not even really notice her that first day, he only noticed her the second time they met, when she approached him in the dressing room and smiled at him and kissed him. If he was truly honest with himself, he also didn’t notice her first the next day or the day after that or every following day up till the present. He would only notice her when she came up to him and practically demanded his attention. Yet she never seemed to mind, so he never tried paying more attention to her.
Ryeowook had a busy life. He was, after all, a member of Super Junior, one of the lead vocalists and therefore most often to be found in the recording studio with his recording team and sometimes some of the other members. There were times when she had come visiting there, bringing snacks and drinks for everyone. He had then smiled at her, hugged her and kissed her and she had always looked up at him with those eyes that spoke of dedication and admiration and loyalty. Yet there was one thing they had never spoken of and that was acceptation, but he didn’t really care, because he didn’t really know and it didn’t really matter.
What did matter was the way she had sometimes sent disapproving looks at his members when they were being goofy like many other times or how she had shaken her head in disbelief when Jongwoon did something fail again. At those times, Ryeowook had felt his heart clench and his eyes squint as he followed her gaze to his friends, and he always wanted to tell her that his members were his friends and that she should accept them. Yet the words were forgotten the moment she turned back to him, all smiles, giggles and love again, and kissed him.
It had ended when she had come over to the dorm one day to find Ryeowook and Jongwoon sitting on their beds in their room. Jongwoon had been happily observing his turtles, whereas Ryeowook had been reading a book. The moment she entered, however, he had jumped up to greet her and there had been smiles, giggles and love again, like always. Soon her eyes had darted towards Jongwoon, however, and she had frowned and asked him why that creepy friend of his was being so random and weird again and if he couldn’t ask Jongwoon to leave.
That was where Ryeowook drew the line, telling her no and asking her to leave and never come back again. It took him a lot of willpower not to snap at her when she started being all smiles, giggles and love again, but in the end he had relentlessly pushed her out the door and told the guards not to let her in anymore. After that he had gone back to apologise to Jongwoon, because he didn’t want his friend to feel hurt. The moment he entered the room, he started apologising, muttering stuff about Jongwoon not at all having to listen to her and her not being allowed to say such things, but he was cut off as Jongwoon jumped up from the bed and pulled him into a happy dance, cheering that he had finally won a staring competition against Ddangkoma.
Ryeowook would never know why it happened, because she didn’t really fit in his life, their personalities certainly weren’t alike and it was in no way possible to be called fate. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling that evening, Ryeowook realised that his hands were perfectly well holding a microphone without some girl’s hands fitting in them, his arms were perfectly fine hugging his members without a girl’s body to wrap them around and his lips were perfectly okay laughing over Jongwoon’s weird antics without a girl's soft lips pressed upon them. And Ryeowook realised that he was perfectly complete being in Super Junior without a girl’s wishes to think about.
Characters: Ryeowook, Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 901
Summary: Ryewook falls in love, but never really does.
A/N: I guess this one somewhat came from the same place where the Yesung one flew out from, but it's still slightly different and leaning more towards my original writing style. It's my first Ryeowook-centered fanfic and the character doesn't really feel as Ryeowook to me, but I liked it anyway, so you're getting this on your plate as well. ^.^
- - - - -
Ryeowook would never know why it happened. It wasn’t even fate, for her hands did not fit in his perfectly and his arms did not fit around her perfectly and her lips did not feel soft and sweet against his, but it was her so all that didn’t really matter to him. In fact, not much mattered anymore to him as long as it was about her. He only needed her to stay with him, to never leave him, then he would be fine. At least that’s what she had said about him, so he figured it should be the same the other way around, right?
It had started when she had put on his make-up for the first time, all smiles and politeness as she brushed the little sponge over his face and turned his ruined skin into a smooth bunch of crèmes and powders again. He had not given her a second look, had not thought her any different than the other make-up noonas. Yet he was still positive that that was when it had started, because the next time he saw her they kissed and it couldn’t possibly start directly with a kiss, could it?
So to anyone who asked Ryeowook would say that it had started that day when she had put on his make-up and that he had liked her from the start. But he knew he was lying, because if he was honest to himself, he did not even really notice her that first day, he only noticed her the second time they met, when she approached him in the dressing room and smiled at him and kissed him. If he was truly honest with himself, he also didn’t notice her first the next day or the day after that or every following day up till the present. He would only notice her when she came up to him and practically demanded his attention. Yet she never seemed to mind, so he never tried paying more attention to her.
Ryeowook had a busy life. He was, after all, a member of Super Junior, one of the lead vocalists and therefore most often to be found in the recording studio with his recording team and sometimes some of the other members. There were times when she had come visiting there, bringing snacks and drinks for everyone. He had then smiled at her, hugged her and kissed her and she had always looked up at him with those eyes that spoke of dedication and admiration and loyalty. Yet there was one thing they had never spoken of and that was acceptation, but he didn’t really care, because he didn’t really know and it didn’t really matter.
What did matter was the way she had sometimes sent disapproving looks at his members when they were being goofy like many other times or how she had shaken her head in disbelief when Jongwoon did something fail again. At those times, Ryeowook had felt his heart clench and his eyes squint as he followed her gaze to his friends, and he always wanted to tell her that his members were his friends and that she should accept them. Yet the words were forgotten the moment she turned back to him, all smiles, giggles and love again, and kissed him.
It had ended when she had come over to the dorm one day to find Ryeowook and Jongwoon sitting on their beds in their room. Jongwoon had been happily observing his turtles, whereas Ryeowook had been reading a book. The moment she entered, however, he had jumped up to greet her and there had been smiles, giggles and love again, like always. Soon her eyes had darted towards Jongwoon, however, and she had frowned and asked him why that creepy friend of his was being so random and weird again and if he couldn’t ask Jongwoon to leave.
That was where Ryeowook drew the line, telling her no and asking her to leave and never come back again. It took him a lot of willpower not to snap at her when she started being all smiles, giggles and love again, but in the end he had relentlessly pushed her out the door and told the guards not to let her in anymore. After that he had gone back to apologise to Jongwoon, because he didn’t want his friend to feel hurt. The moment he entered the room, he started apologising, muttering stuff about Jongwoon not at all having to listen to her and her not being allowed to say such things, but he was cut off as Jongwoon jumped up from the bed and pulled him into a happy dance, cheering that he had finally won a staring competition against Ddangkoma.
Ryeowook would never know why it happened, because she didn’t really fit in his life, their personalities certainly weren’t alike and it was in no way possible to be called fate. Lying in bed, staring at the ceiling that evening, Ryeowook realised that his hands were perfectly well holding a microphone without some girl’s hands fitting in them, his arms were perfectly fine hugging his members without a girl’s body to wrap them around and his lips were perfectly okay laughing over Jongwoon’s weird antics without a girl's soft lips pressed upon them. And Ryeowook realised that he was perfectly complete being in Super Junior without a girl’s wishes to think about.
[FIC] Lee
Title: Lee
Characters: Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 688
Summary: When Lee came into his life it was like a ray of sunlight on a cloudy day.
A/N: This actually was a whole new way of writing for me with very little punctuation and a large use of 'and' in it. I wanted to try this kind of writing style once, but the story turned out pretty nicely in my opinion, so I kind of kept it and posted it up. Heh. I liked the way Jongwoon sounded here to me. (Yes I have an urge to call him Jongwoon because it rolls of my tongue better than Yesung.)
- - - - -
When Lee came into his life it was like a ray of sunlight on a cloudy day; sparkling and bubbly and warm and Jongwoon just couldn’t understand how it was possible for his new neighbour to have such an effect on him, but still every time he saw her his voice cracked and his fingers fidgeted and he stumbled over his own feet more often than he usually did, and the first time Lee noticed him and smiled at him, Jongwoon thought that it looked like sugar coated cookies late at night in front of the television and he wished he could have a bite of them.
But he had no idea what the feeling was and it scared him to think about Lee so much so he would focus on his work and the moment he came home he would bury himself in piles of house chores, cleaning and phone calls only to discover that his neighbour still found some way to invade his head, and he would think every time again that ‘this is not it’ right before sinking away into much needed sleep after crashing down on his bed in the evening.
Yet every morning he would do the same again because his voice would not stop cracking and his fingers would not stop fidgeting and he would keep on stumbling over his own feet more often than usual whenever Lee came in sight and he would always keep uttering the same ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing,’ the words stumbling over each other as they staggered out of his mouth, and he would smile and bow and flee before he could get an answer but it didn’t matter because the hint of a smile he saw every time he turned away was enough to make him imagine all the wonderful words she possibly could have said to him.
So when the day came that Lee actually started talking to him, Jongwoon thought that it was all smiles and rainbows and butterflies and his heart ran out ahead of him as he tripped over it and fell face first into the puddle of gooey, wobbly blubber that his legs had become, only to be woken from his high when an ‘are you alright’ reached his ears and he looked up and smiled and said ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing’ and he bowed and fled and it was not until he crashed down on his bed that evening and thought that ‘this is not it’ that he realised that Lee had asked him where she could find a bakery in the neighbourhood.
The second time Lee talked to him was on a rainy Monday but Jongwoon still found butterflies and sunshine in the sound and he smiled and bowed and said ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing’ before walking out into the rain without his umbrella and skipping to work like there was no greater thing in life than arriving at work soaking wet without a care in the world, and it wasn’t until his boss shouted at him for being late that he realised Lee had thanked him for the letter with addresses of good bakeries and the best ones put in bright colours and he smiled and hugged his boss and left to his own office and the day passed in laughter and joy and not even the three hour traffic jam on his way to a customer could stop him from whistling happily.
It was then that Jongwoon decided that he was in love and the next time he saw Lee he smiled and waved and nodded his head and when Lee spoke it was like roses and lemonade and butterflies, and Jongwoon smiled and bowed and said ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing’ and planted his lips on Lee’s before he could get an answer, but the chuckle that vibrated against his skin was enough to make him imagine all the beautiful words she possibly could have said to him, and he thought to himself that ‘this is it’ right before he wrapped his arms around her to deepen the kiss.
Characters: Yesung, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 688
Summary: When Lee came into his life it was like a ray of sunlight on a cloudy day.
A/N: This actually was a whole new way of writing for me with very little punctuation and a large use of 'and' in it. I wanted to try this kind of writing style once, but the story turned out pretty nicely in my opinion, so I kind of kept it and posted it up. Heh. I liked the way Jongwoon sounded here to me. (Yes I have an urge to call him Jongwoon because it rolls of my tongue better than Yesung.)
- - - - -
When Lee came into his life it was like a ray of sunlight on a cloudy day; sparkling and bubbly and warm and Jongwoon just couldn’t understand how it was possible for his new neighbour to have such an effect on him, but still every time he saw her his voice cracked and his fingers fidgeted and he stumbled over his own feet more often than he usually did, and the first time Lee noticed him and smiled at him, Jongwoon thought that it looked like sugar coated cookies late at night in front of the television and he wished he could have a bite of them.
But he had no idea what the feeling was and it scared him to think about Lee so much so he would focus on his work and the moment he came home he would bury himself in piles of house chores, cleaning and phone calls only to discover that his neighbour still found some way to invade his head, and he would think every time again that ‘this is not it’ right before sinking away into much needed sleep after crashing down on his bed in the evening.
Yet every morning he would do the same again because his voice would not stop cracking and his fingers would not stop fidgeting and he would keep on stumbling over his own feet more often than usual whenever Lee came in sight and he would always keep uttering the same ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing,’ the words stumbling over each other as they staggered out of his mouth, and he would smile and bow and flee before he could get an answer but it didn’t matter because the hint of a smile he saw every time he turned away was enough to make him imagine all the wonderful words she possibly could have said to him.
So when the day came that Lee actually started talking to him, Jongwoon thought that it was all smiles and rainbows and butterflies and his heart ran out ahead of him as he tripped over it and fell face first into the puddle of gooey, wobbly blubber that his legs had become, only to be woken from his high when an ‘are you alright’ reached his ears and he looked up and smiled and said ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing’ and he bowed and fled and it was not until he crashed down on his bed that evening and thought that ‘this is not it’ that he realised that Lee had asked him where she could find a bakery in the neighbourhood.
The second time Lee talked to him was on a rainy Monday but Jongwoon still found butterflies and sunshine in the sound and he smiled and bowed and said ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing’ before walking out into the rain without his umbrella and skipping to work like there was no greater thing in life than arriving at work soaking wet without a care in the world, and it wasn’t until his boss shouted at him for being late that he realised Lee had thanked him for the letter with addresses of good bakeries and the best ones put in bright colours and he smiled and hugged his boss and left to his own office and the day passed in laughter and joy and not even the three hour traffic jam on his way to a customer could stop him from whistling happily.
It was then that Jongwoon decided that he was in love and the next time he saw Lee he smiled and waved and nodded his head and when Lee spoke it was like roses and lemonade and butterflies, and Jongwoon smiled and bowed and said ‘hi’ and ‘how are you doing’ and planted his lips on Lee’s before he could get an answer, but the chuckle that vibrated against his skin was enough to make him imagine all the beautiful words she possibly could have said to him, and he thought to himself that ‘this is it’ right before he wrapped his arms around her to deepen the kiss.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)