Friday 2 September 2011

[FIC] The difficulty of Kyu & Mi

Title: The difficulty of Kyu & Mi ( or how many people it takes for QMi to happen )
Characters: Everyone!Mi but eventually QMi
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3.383
Summary: Zhou Mi has long found out that he doesn’t fall for a specific gender, he falls for people.
A/N: I started this weeks ago with the intention of writing something nice for my two friends who like QMi, but then there was literally EVERY Mi pairing my mind could come up with involved and right as I got to the part where there was supposed to be QMi, I blanked out. So much later I watched several sets of QMi pics and vids and finally this came rolling out, more words of QMi than all the other pairings involved. All for you, Frances & Krisy. ♥

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Characters
Zhou Mi; because he’s what it’s (almost) all about
Heechul; because he made his way into this story even before I had an idea for it
Donghae; BECAUSE DUDE WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN IN HERE >:(
Hyukjae; because HyukMi is one of the most awkwardly cute things ever
Kyuhyun; because YES THERE’S QMI IT’S REALLY ACTUALLY THERE!!!

- - - - -

Zhou Mi has long found out that he doesn’t fall for a specific gender, he falls for people. It doesn’t matter whether they are tall or short, boy or girl, blond or brown. He merely expects some conversational abilities at least and some kind of emotional understanding. Because he does have a lot of emotions and he needs someone to understand them. And even though he has amazing friends, most of them would never understand the complexity of his inner self.

But actually, if he is completely honest to himself, he mostly falls for good kissers. He loves kissing; lips touching, tongues sneaking, hands wandering. He likes the way the others would lean in, succumb to his touches, melt against his body as he coaxes them with gentle conviction. There isn’t the least bit of embarrassment in him when admitting that the moment the other one would give in to him was one of the moments he loves most.

In the end he realises, though, that he has somehow always expected to end up with a girl; society and the likes. He isn’t up for being judged for the rest of his life. Because no matter what his parents said about supporting him, he’d never forget the look on their faces when he first told them he liked guys too. Not necessarily the fact that he liked guys made them look like that, but the way he said ‘too,’ as if having interest in both genders was the same as telling them he had slept with every person he had met so far.

Which wasn’t true at the time, by the way, not that they were interested, but he wasn’t really up for going past kissing yet back then. At least not with anyone he had met so far. Kissing boys was quite the same as kissing girls. What came after that was vastly different and he wasn’t too sure yet if he wanted to find out exactly HOW different (and which one of the two would appeal to him more). New things were always strange to begin with.

Like the first time he actually kissed a boy. He still remembered that day as if it was just yesterday, Heechul walking up to him and kissing him full on the mouth. And he had responded, surprisingly, he’s pretty sure that the other had not actually expected him to do so either. But the two of them dating because of it was even less expected.

They matched well, though; Heechul’s eccentricity and his patience leveled each other out nicely. Everyone called them a dream pair, Zhou Mi the only one able to handle Heechul’s weird moodswings and unexpected ideas, Heechul the only one to understand Zhou Mi’s eye for fashion. They had love between them, and trust, two of the most important things in relationships, and Heechul was a great kisser, honestly, when he put some effort into it.

But it wasn’t meant to last, that much was clear. They didn’t lack love or trust, and so Heechul trusted Zhou Mi enough to tell him he had fallen in love with someone else. And Zhou Mi loved Heechul enough to find that someone and make the two of them end up together. A week later he no longer had a boyfriend, but he had a very close friend who was intensely happy with his new love.

Since then there had been several, boys and girls alike, who had won his heart, but none of them lasted forever. Five months, nine months, a year, two weeks (she cheated on him),... He grew throughout those relationships, as a boyfriend and as a person, but he never managed to not get tired of them. He told himself it was because nothing ever happened in his life, he knew it was because he had dated Heechul and after that, everyone became normal and boring.

It was several years after his little romance with Heechul when he met Donghae. Happy, childlike, genuine Donghae. Also straighter than a straight line, sadly, or he would’ve taken his chances with the boy. They got along well, Donghae accepted everyone just the way they came and Zhou Mi found the other too endearing to get annoyed by anyway. Despite Heechul telling him several times to just kiss the guy and get it over with, Zhou Mi never did, respecting Donghae’s choices. Besides, they were more of brothers than lovers anyway.

But apparently Donghae was smarter than he looked, however, because one day the younger pulled him along to go meet someone. He was dragged into some dance class where a blond guy was dancing to some upbeat music, limbs moving so fluently as if dancing was the same as breathing. It made Zhou Mi’s heart skip a beat and he wasn’t able to take his eyes away from the guy for the rest of the song.

His name was Hyukjae, Donghae said, a friend - cousin? acquaintance? brother? He didn’t really catch the rest anymore as Hyukjae stopped dancing right then and walked up to them, flashing one of the cutest gummy smiles ever Zhou Mi’s way. A wave, an introduction by Donghae and some awkward mumbling later, Donghae left the two of them alone to get to know each other.

Hyukjae turned out to be every bit the contradiction Donghae was, childlike yet wise, happy yet thoughtful, making rash comments one moment then blushing shyly as Zhou Mi complimented him. Hyukjae was adorable and Zhou Mi wanted to pocket him forever. Hyukjae was also not as straight as Donghae, so he it was way easier to walk up to him one day and kiss him.

It was all awkward and his legs were too long while Hyukjae was too short, their noses bumped, Hyukjae managed to bite his lip somehow and they ended up stumbling down into a mess of tangled limbs on the floor, giggling uncontrollably over their own clumsiness. But Hyukjae was a good kisser and a great dancer and every time he looked at him, Zhou Mi found his heart skipping a beat.

They lasted a good five months of awkward kisses, cute shyness and comfortable cuddling on the couch before his heart got tired of skipping. He settled into the relationship nicely and he loved Hyukjae, but that was about it. Hyukjae still made him laugh and he still was a good kisser and a great dancer, but he was pretty sure they both felt that it wasn’t meant to be. That was proven to him when he opened the door one evening to a fidgeting - possibly drunk? - Hyukjae, telling him in between a million apologies that he didn’t think they’d work out.

So he went from there, two ex-boyfriend best friends now, one happily together with his new love still, the other happily together with his...dancing. He also still had Donghae - good friend, trying to hook him up with every cute guy and girl he saw - and a few female friends that tried to find him real happiness while they treated him as their gay best friend for life. He wasn’t particularly sure how to feel about that title - he was bi, not just gay - but it amused him how they all did their best to make him happy.

Relationships, however, didn’t seem to be his kind of thing. Judging from the way he stumbled from one failed lover to the next in the passing years he didn’t really know anymore whether he’d end up with a girl in the end or just completely alone. He was moving through his twenties way too fast to be comfortable and the way the big thirty doomed closer wasn’t helping him feel any better about his chances either. Especially not with all of his friends gathering together to plan a huge birthday party just to remind him how old thirty actually was.

And that’s probably where this story really starts, some twelve years after his first kiss with a guy. In a huge hall draped with birthday decorations and colours - way too many colours to be healthy, really - when he reached out to grab a glass of champagne to drink away his worries, but caught a hand instead, with long fingers that curled around his naturally as he turned around in surprise to see who he had grabbed hold of.

“Hello,” a smooth voice had told him, and it was a little like he heard someone speak for the first time. “You’re the birthday boy, right? Or well, I should say man.” It also was a little like speaking for the first time when he clumsily tried to shove some words out of his mouth that really never made it further than his throat.

“H-hi... yes... hello... hi!” He ended with a grin that was probably ninety percent stupid and ten percent retarded, before quickly letting go of the hand he was still holding.

“Thirty...” the woman in front of him continued and he dumbly nodded. “Quite the important age. How does it feel, leaving behind the twenties?” He sent her a smile, probably a little bitter but he didn’t really care. Becoming thirty should allow him to be bitter, right?

“Feels a little like my face is full of wrinkles and I’ll need a walking stick soon from the way people talk about it,” he replied then, making a mental note that he had finally remembered how to talk. She laughed at his words, a sound that sparkled and clattered like a waterfall, but she looked so serene while doing it that it was hard to imagine said waterfall along with it.

“My name’s Ahra,” she introduced herself then - finallly - and he managed a polite nod. “Friend of a friend.”

“Zhou Mi, but you probably knew that already.”

A nod, a smile and then she took hold of two champagne glasses, reaching one out to him. “I assume this is what we both were looking for when we accidentally grabbed hold of each other?” she inquired. He could do nothing but nod, taking the glass and immediately gulping down half of it, not caring what that might look like to her.

“Actually I was also looking for you,” she continued when he lowered his glass again, the words making him look up at her, the question obvious in his expression. “Heechul invited me,” she started explaining then and perhaps that’s when the alarm bells should’ve started ringing in his head, but they didn’t. “Said I should come by, that you’re a nice kid. He’s usually right with these things, you know?”

He nodded, because Heechul’s always right and the fact that he told someone that he - Zhou Mi - is a nice kid, well that’s worth emptying the other half of that champagne glass for. Which he did. She watched with a smile as he put the glass on some waiter’s empty tray and then let the silence carry on a moment longer before putting her own glass down.

“Would you do me a favour?”

Perhaps he should’ve said no, but he didn’t. Instead he said maybe and asked what the favour was. He’s still unsure whether it was a good decision to comply to her request in the end, but it’s useless to start doubting now, because he’s already sitting in the restaurant, waiting for his ‘blind’ date to show up. Kyuhyun, twenty-eight, Ahra’s younger brother. She’d been trying to hook him up with a date for years now, but everyone he met with got rejected.

She had finally decided then that maybe, possibly, her brother wasn’t into the pretty ladies, and after discussing that with Heechul, they apparently thought it a good idea to use him - just turned thirty and desperate to not end up alone in life - to figure out whether Ahra’s hunch was right or not. He doesn’t know whether to be flattered to think he’s made for the job or insulted that they’re only using him in their benefit.

He doesn’t get much time to ponder about that, however, as suddenly the chair across from him is pulled back and he looks up into a pair of chocolate brown eyes that remind him of Ahra’s. Eyebrows are raised in surprise upon seeing his face and Kyuhyun - at least he assumes this is Kyuhyun, he’s about 99,9 percent sure - suddenly snorts, reaching out a hand then to shake his in greeting.

“So noona finally found out, huh?” The question rolls out of the younger man’s mouth in gentle, warm syllables that wrap around Zhou Mi’s ears and make a smile appear on his face even without his approval. “I’m Kyuhyun, but I assume she told you that already. You must be the newest attempt at hooking me up with someone. You look a lot better than the previous ones, I have to admit. Perhaps a little on the skinny side, though. Do you eat?”

He stares. There’s no other way to say it, no way to make it sound less blunt and stupid and rude. He stares with his mouth slightly agape, a completely blank look in his eyes and Kyuhyun’s hand still reached out to him, untouched. He snaps out of it when Kyuhyun starts to retract his hand, quickly reaching out then to take hold of it and shake it.

“Mi,” he introduces himself, honestly surprised that he still remembers his own name. “Zhou Mi. I eat, yes, a lot actually, but don’t tell my female friends. They all think I found the secret to staying slim.” He grins at his own joke, fearing for a heartbeat that he’s saying stupid things, but then Kyuhyun is grinning too and he knows that this is just right. “And your noona didn’t find out yet. She’s just suspecting. In fact, she asked me to have dinner with you just once to see if it was really the case.”

“Well it is. I hope you don’t mind.” It’s said with such genuine concern that he almost wants to walk around the table to wrap Kyuhyun in a big hug and tell him that ‘of course not, like guys all you want, you’re perfect.’ But he doesn’t. In fact, he suddenly realises he’s still holding Kyuhyun’s hand so he let’s go and awkwardly pics up his empty glass. It takes several seconds for him to notice there’s nothing to get out of an empty glass, so he puts it back down awkwardly.

“No, I don’t mind,” he finally finds the words to say, looking up at Kyuhyun then to see the younger is already going over the menu. “What are you doing?” he asks, but regrets it immediately after when Kyuhyun looks up at him with a frown that almost screams ‘are you stupid?’ right in his face.

“I’m picking my dinner, if that’s okay with you?” he replies then, seeming confident as he starts, but then growing more insecure as he continues. “Or was this all just planned to see my reaction? Are we supposed to leave again now that you know?” Kyuhyun glances around the restaurant for a moment, before giving him another pointed look and so he hurries to shake his head.

“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s uhh... Let’s eat, yeah,” he agrees, nodding a little as he picks up his own menu, opening it randomly and staring intently at that page for a full minute before realising he’s holding the thing upside down. He tries to be cool about it as he turns it around, but Kyuhyun’s not really paying attention anyway and it’s not like half the restaurant is staring at his every move. At least he hopes they’re not, because that would be embarrassing.

It goes from there, a little rough around the edges at the start, but once they both happen to order pasta the topic starter is set and everything just rolls about after that. Kyuhyun is nice table company, having a million-and-one stories to tell about everything and nothing - people at work, some guy on the street, his own clumsiness - and it makes Zhou Mi feel comfortable around the other.

They end up ordering desserts too, and coffee after that, finding the time passes by too fast as the evening goes on. It’s midnight when they leave the restaurant, and even then only because they kind of got kicked out - in a nice way. It’s comfortable to just start on a stroll in the general direction of what he assumes is Kyuhyun’s house. Five blocks and an infinite amount of turns further he realises that maybe they’re not really going anywhere. He doesn’t particularly mind.

In the end they do end up on a doorstep, his own to be more precise, because it’s getting close to three and Kyuhyun actually has work in the morning. Zhou Mi suddenly remembers there’s something like life and other people and oh yes, that report he said he’d write after dinner. It’s not that important anyway, if he thinks about it a little more, so he invites Kyuhyun in for another drink - if he wants of course.

Kyuhyun refuses, but it’s done in such a way that it’s obvious he actually wants to accept. Zhou Mi fumbles with his keys as Kyuhyun for once is the one trying to form decent sentences. In the end they both fall silent, just standing there looking at each other. Zhou Mi admires the way Kyuhyun’s dark eyes reflect the light coming from inside his apartment building and then looks a little more down to admire the other’s lips.

“Let’s just kiss,” he decides is a good thing to say at that moment and Kyuhyun laughs, lips parting slightly, teeth flashing, so much happiness bundled into one sound. He doesn’t wait for an answer as he leans in and does exactly what he said should be done. It’s awkward. It actually feels a little like Kyuhyun has never kissed before. And suddenly Zhou Mi knows how Heechul felt all those years ago when he kissed Zhou Mi and Zhou Mi kissed back, no second thoughts.

They make it past the door somehow, and the hallway, and the staircase, mouths glued together as Kyuhyun goes up the stairs first because he’s just that tiny bit less tall than him. It’s only one floor and then he’s pulling away, looking down at his keys to figure out which one he needs. Kyuhyun panting next to his ear is kind of distracting, but he finds the one he needs anyway and safely manages to get them inside.

He takes off his shoes, hangs up his jacket and tries to think of something to say. His mind is blank, however, much like Kyuhyun’s apparently, because when he looks up they’re just standing there looking at each other, both silent and not moving. He thinks over the past evening, reminds himself that he’s only known Kyuhyun for what? Six hours, maybe seven? and he realises he doesn’t give a damn.

“You know...” Kyuhyun breaks the silence then, straightening up a little and giving him a more conscious look. “I really don’t want another drink.” He grins at that and it’s such a goofy expression that Zhou Mi laughs at it, only making Kyuhyun’s grin turn into a pout that is so adorable he wants to take a picture right at that moment so he can look at it whenever he feels bad.

He’s not exactly sure how but they’re soon pressed together again, starting from their lips before everything follows, and he has Kyuhyun up against the wall too at some point, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s not like they notice anyway. By the time they reach his bed they’re still wearing all their clothes surprisingly, and he hesitates at the edge, wondering if it would be too much in one day to go there.

Kyuhyun makes the decision for him, sticking one foot behind his leg as he pulls at his collar and as he feels himself toppling over, he lets go of the last restraints and falls, careless and willing, all the way, even though Kyuhyun’s actually quite bad at kissing - or at least, he’s had better.