Title: The difficulty of Kyu & Mi ( or how many people it takes for QMi to happen )
Characters: Everyone!Mi but eventually QMi
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3.383
Summary: Zhou Mi has long found out that he doesn’t fall for a specific gender, he falls for people.
A/N: I started this weeks ago with the intention of writing something nice for my two friends who like QMi, but then there was literally EVERY Mi pairing my mind could come up with involved and right as I got to the part where there was supposed to be QMi, I blanked out. So much later I watched several sets of QMi pics and vids and finally this came rolling out, more words of QMi than all the other pairings involved. All for you, Frances & Krisy. ♥
- - - - -
Characters
Zhou Mi; because he’s what it’s (almost) all about
Heechul; because he made his way into this story even before I had an idea for it
Donghae; BECAUSE DUDE WHY THE HELL ARE YOU EVEN IN HERE >:(
Hyukjae; because HyukMi is one of the most awkwardly cute things ever
Kyuhyun; because YES THERE’S QMI IT’S REALLY ACTUALLY THERE!!!
- - - - -
Zhou Mi has long found out that he doesn’t fall for a specific gender, he falls for people. It doesn’t matter whether they are tall or short, boy or girl, blond or brown. He merely expects some conversational abilities at least and some kind of emotional understanding. Because he does have a lot of emotions and he needs someone to understand them. And even though he has amazing friends, most of them would never understand the complexity of his inner self.
But actually, if he is completely honest to himself, he mostly falls for good kissers. He loves kissing; lips touching, tongues sneaking, hands wandering. He likes the way the others would lean in, succumb to his touches, melt against his body as he coaxes them with gentle conviction. There isn’t the least bit of embarrassment in him when admitting that the moment the other one would give in to him was one of the moments he loves most.
In the end he realises, though, that he has somehow always expected to end up with a girl; society and the likes. He isn’t up for being judged for the rest of his life. Because no matter what his parents said about supporting him, he’d never forget the look on their faces when he first told them he liked guys too. Not necessarily the fact that he liked guys made them look like that, but the way he said ‘too,’ as if having interest in both genders was the same as telling them he had slept with every person he had met so far.
Which wasn’t true at the time, by the way, not that they were interested, but he wasn’t really up for going past kissing yet back then. At least not with anyone he had met so far. Kissing boys was quite the same as kissing girls. What came after that was vastly different and he wasn’t too sure yet if he wanted to find out exactly HOW different (and which one of the two would appeal to him more). New things were always strange to begin with.
Like the first time he actually kissed a boy. He still remembered that day as if it was just yesterday, Heechul walking up to him and kissing him full on the mouth. And he had responded, surprisingly, he’s pretty sure that the other had not actually expected him to do so either. But the two of them dating because of it was even less expected.
They matched well, though; Heechul’s eccentricity and his patience leveled each other out nicely. Everyone called them a dream pair, Zhou Mi the only one able to handle Heechul’s weird moodswings and unexpected ideas, Heechul the only one to understand Zhou Mi’s eye for fashion. They had love between them, and trust, two of the most important things in relationships, and Heechul was a great kisser, honestly, when he put some effort into it.
But it wasn’t meant to last, that much was clear. They didn’t lack love or trust, and so Heechul trusted Zhou Mi enough to tell him he had fallen in love with someone else. And Zhou Mi loved Heechul enough to find that someone and make the two of them end up together. A week later he no longer had a boyfriend, but he had a very close friend who was intensely happy with his new love.
Since then there had been several, boys and girls alike, who had won his heart, but none of them lasted forever. Five months, nine months, a year, two weeks (she cheated on him),... He grew throughout those relationships, as a boyfriend and as a person, but he never managed to not get tired of them. He told himself it was because nothing ever happened in his life, he knew it was because he had dated Heechul and after that, everyone became normal and boring.
It was several years after his little romance with Heechul when he met Donghae. Happy, childlike, genuine Donghae. Also straighter than a straight line, sadly, or he would’ve taken his chances with the boy. They got along well, Donghae accepted everyone just the way they came and Zhou Mi found the other too endearing to get annoyed by anyway. Despite Heechul telling him several times to just kiss the guy and get it over with, Zhou Mi never did, respecting Donghae’s choices. Besides, they were more of brothers than lovers anyway.
But apparently Donghae was smarter than he looked, however, because one day the younger pulled him along to go meet someone. He was dragged into some dance class where a blond guy was dancing to some upbeat music, limbs moving so fluently as if dancing was the same as breathing. It made Zhou Mi’s heart skip a beat and he wasn’t able to take his eyes away from the guy for the rest of the song.
His name was Hyukjae, Donghae said, a friend - cousin? acquaintance? brother? He didn’t really catch the rest anymore as Hyukjae stopped dancing right then and walked up to them, flashing one of the cutest gummy smiles ever Zhou Mi’s way. A wave, an introduction by Donghae and some awkward mumbling later, Donghae left the two of them alone to get to know each other.
Hyukjae turned out to be every bit the contradiction Donghae was, childlike yet wise, happy yet thoughtful, making rash comments one moment then blushing shyly as Zhou Mi complimented him. Hyukjae was adorable and Zhou Mi wanted to pocket him forever. Hyukjae was also not as straight as Donghae, so he it was way easier to walk up to him one day and kiss him.
It was all awkward and his legs were too long while Hyukjae was too short, their noses bumped, Hyukjae managed to bite his lip somehow and they ended up stumbling down into a mess of tangled limbs on the floor, giggling uncontrollably over their own clumsiness. But Hyukjae was a good kisser and a great dancer and every time he looked at him, Zhou Mi found his heart skipping a beat.
They lasted a good five months of awkward kisses, cute shyness and comfortable cuddling on the couch before his heart got tired of skipping. He settled into the relationship nicely and he loved Hyukjae, but that was about it. Hyukjae still made him laugh and he still was a good kisser and a great dancer, but he was pretty sure they both felt that it wasn’t meant to be. That was proven to him when he opened the door one evening to a fidgeting - possibly drunk? - Hyukjae, telling him in between a million apologies that he didn’t think they’d work out.
So he went from there, two ex-boyfriend best friends now, one happily together with his new love still, the other happily together with his...dancing. He also still had Donghae - good friend, trying to hook him up with every cute guy and girl he saw - and a few female friends that tried to find him real happiness while they treated him as their gay best friend for life. He wasn’t particularly sure how to feel about that title - he was bi, not just gay - but it amused him how they all did their best to make him happy.
Relationships, however, didn’t seem to be his kind of thing. Judging from the way he stumbled from one failed lover to the next in the passing years he didn’t really know anymore whether he’d end up with a girl in the end or just completely alone. He was moving through his twenties way too fast to be comfortable and the way the big thirty doomed closer wasn’t helping him feel any better about his chances either. Especially not with all of his friends gathering together to plan a huge birthday party just to remind him how old thirty actually was.
And that’s probably where this story really starts, some twelve years after his first kiss with a guy. In a huge hall draped with birthday decorations and colours - way too many colours to be healthy, really - when he reached out to grab a glass of champagne to drink away his worries, but caught a hand instead, with long fingers that curled around his naturally as he turned around in surprise to see who he had grabbed hold of.
“Hello,” a smooth voice had told him, and it was a little like he heard someone speak for the first time. “You’re the birthday boy, right? Or well, I should say man.” It also was a little like speaking for the first time when he clumsily tried to shove some words out of his mouth that really never made it further than his throat.
“H-hi... yes... hello... hi!” He ended with a grin that was probably ninety percent stupid and ten percent retarded, before quickly letting go of the hand he was still holding.
“Thirty...” the woman in front of him continued and he dumbly nodded. “Quite the important age. How does it feel, leaving behind the twenties?” He sent her a smile, probably a little bitter but he didn’t really care. Becoming thirty should allow him to be bitter, right?
“Feels a little like my face is full of wrinkles and I’ll need a walking stick soon from the way people talk about it,” he replied then, making a mental note that he had finally remembered how to talk. She laughed at his words, a sound that sparkled and clattered like a waterfall, but she looked so serene while doing it that it was hard to imagine said waterfall along with it.
“My name’s Ahra,” she introduced herself then - finallly - and he managed a polite nod. “Friend of a friend.”
“Zhou Mi, but you probably knew that already.”
A nod, a smile and then she took hold of two champagne glasses, reaching one out to him. “I assume this is what we both were looking for when we accidentally grabbed hold of each other?” she inquired. He could do nothing but nod, taking the glass and immediately gulping down half of it, not caring what that might look like to her.
“Actually I was also looking for you,” she continued when he lowered his glass again, the words making him look up at her, the question obvious in his expression. “Heechul invited me,” she started explaining then and perhaps that’s when the alarm bells should’ve started ringing in his head, but they didn’t. “Said I should come by, that you’re a nice kid. He’s usually right with these things, you know?”
He nodded, because Heechul’s always right and the fact that he told someone that he - Zhou Mi - is a nice kid, well that’s worth emptying the other half of that champagne glass for. Which he did. She watched with a smile as he put the glass on some waiter’s empty tray and then let the silence carry on a moment longer before putting her own glass down.
“Would you do me a favour?”
Perhaps he should’ve said no, but he didn’t. Instead he said maybe and asked what the favour was. He’s still unsure whether it was a good decision to comply to her request in the end, but it’s useless to start doubting now, because he’s already sitting in the restaurant, waiting for his ‘blind’ date to show up. Kyuhyun, twenty-eight, Ahra’s younger brother. She’d been trying to hook him up with a date for years now, but everyone he met with got rejected.
She had finally decided then that maybe, possibly, her brother wasn’t into the pretty ladies, and after discussing that with Heechul, they apparently thought it a good idea to use him - just turned thirty and desperate to not end up alone in life - to figure out whether Ahra’s hunch was right or not. He doesn’t know whether to be flattered to think he’s made for the job or insulted that they’re only using him in their benefit.
He doesn’t get much time to ponder about that, however, as suddenly the chair across from him is pulled back and he looks up into a pair of chocolate brown eyes that remind him of Ahra’s. Eyebrows are raised in surprise upon seeing his face and Kyuhyun - at least he assumes this is Kyuhyun, he’s about 99,9 percent sure - suddenly snorts, reaching out a hand then to shake his in greeting.
“So noona finally found out, huh?” The question rolls out of the younger man’s mouth in gentle, warm syllables that wrap around Zhou Mi’s ears and make a smile appear on his face even without his approval. “I’m Kyuhyun, but I assume she told you that already. You must be the newest attempt at hooking me up with someone. You look a lot better than the previous ones, I have to admit. Perhaps a little on the skinny side, though. Do you eat?”
He stares. There’s no other way to say it, no way to make it sound less blunt and stupid and rude. He stares with his mouth slightly agape, a completely blank look in his eyes and Kyuhyun’s hand still reached out to him, untouched. He snaps out of it when Kyuhyun starts to retract his hand, quickly reaching out then to take hold of it and shake it.
“Mi,” he introduces himself, honestly surprised that he still remembers his own name. “Zhou Mi. I eat, yes, a lot actually, but don’t tell my female friends. They all think I found the secret to staying slim.” He grins at his own joke, fearing for a heartbeat that he’s saying stupid things, but then Kyuhyun is grinning too and he knows that this is just right. “And your noona didn’t find out yet. She’s just suspecting. In fact, she asked me to have dinner with you just once to see if it was really the case.”
“Well it is. I hope you don’t mind.” It’s said with such genuine concern that he almost wants to walk around the table to wrap Kyuhyun in a big hug and tell him that ‘of course not, like guys all you want, you’re perfect.’ But he doesn’t. In fact, he suddenly realises he’s still holding Kyuhyun’s hand so he let’s go and awkwardly pics up his empty glass. It takes several seconds for him to notice there’s nothing to get out of an empty glass, so he puts it back down awkwardly.
“No, I don’t mind,” he finally finds the words to say, looking up at Kyuhyun then to see the younger is already going over the menu. “What are you doing?” he asks, but regrets it immediately after when Kyuhyun looks up at him with a frown that almost screams ‘are you stupid?’ right in his face.
“I’m picking my dinner, if that’s okay with you?” he replies then, seeming confident as he starts, but then growing more insecure as he continues. “Or was this all just planned to see my reaction? Are we supposed to leave again now that you know?” Kyuhyun glances around the restaurant for a moment, before giving him another pointed look and so he hurries to shake his head.
“No, no, it’s fine. Let’s uhh... Let’s eat, yeah,” he agrees, nodding a little as he picks up his own menu, opening it randomly and staring intently at that page for a full minute before realising he’s holding the thing upside down. He tries to be cool about it as he turns it around, but Kyuhyun’s not really paying attention anyway and it’s not like half the restaurant is staring at his every move. At least he hopes they’re not, because that would be embarrassing.
It goes from there, a little rough around the edges at the start, but once they both happen to order pasta the topic starter is set and everything just rolls about after that. Kyuhyun is nice table company, having a million-and-one stories to tell about everything and nothing - people at work, some guy on the street, his own clumsiness - and it makes Zhou Mi feel comfortable around the other.
They end up ordering desserts too, and coffee after that, finding the time passes by too fast as the evening goes on. It’s midnight when they leave the restaurant, and even then only because they kind of got kicked out - in a nice way. It’s comfortable to just start on a stroll in the general direction of what he assumes is Kyuhyun’s house. Five blocks and an infinite amount of turns further he realises that maybe they’re not really going anywhere. He doesn’t particularly mind.
In the end they do end up on a doorstep, his own to be more precise, because it’s getting close to three and Kyuhyun actually has work in the morning. Zhou Mi suddenly remembers there’s something like life and other people and oh yes, that report he said he’d write after dinner. It’s not that important anyway, if he thinks about it a little more, so he invites Kyuhyun in for another drink - if he wants of course.
Kyuhyun refuses, but it’s done in such a way that it’s obvious he actually wants to accept. Zhou Mi fumbles with his keys as Kyuhyun for once is the one trying to form decent sentences. In the end they both fall silent, just standing there looking at each other. Zhou Mi admires the way Kyuhyun’s dark eyes reflect the light coming from inside his apartment building and then looks a little more down to admire the other’s lips.
“Let’s just kiss,” he decides is a good thing to say at that moment and Kyuhyun laughs, lips parting slightly, teeth flashing, so much happiness bundled into one sound. He doesn’t wait for an answer as he leans in and does exactly what he said should be done. It’s awkward. It actually feels a little like Kyuhyun has never kissed before. And suddenly Zhou Mi knows how Heechul felt all those years ago when he kissed Zhou Mi and Zhou Mi kissed back, no second thoughts.
They make it past the door somehow, and the hallway, and the staircase, mouths glued together as Kyuhyun goes up the stairs first because he’s just that tiny bit less tall than him. It’s only one floor and then he’s pulling away, looking down at his keys to figure out which one he needs. Kyuhyun panting next to his ear is kind of distracting, but he finds the one he needs anyway and safely manages to get them inside.
He takes off his shoes, hangs up his jacket and tries to think of something to say. His mind is blank, however, much like Kyuhyun’s apparently, because when he looks up they’re just standing there looking at each other, both silent and not moving. He thinks over the past evening, reminds himself that he’s only known Kyuhyun for what? Six hours, maybe seven? and he realises he doesn’t give a damn.
“You know...” Kyuhyun breaks the silence then, straightening up a little and giving him a more conscious look. “I really don’t want another drink.” He grins at that and it’s such a goofy expression that Zhou Mi laughs at it, only making Kyuhyun’s grin turn into a pout that is so adorable he wants to take a picture right at that moment so he can look at it whenever he feels bad.
He’s not exactly sure how but they’re soon pressed together again, starting from their lips before everything follows, and he has Kyuhyun up against the wall too at some point, but it doesn’t really matter, because it’s not like they notice anyway. By the time they reach his bed they’re still wearing all their clothes surprisingly, and he hesitates at the edge, wondering if it would be too much in one day to go there.
Kyuhyun makes the decision for him, sticking one foot behind his leg as he pulls at his collar and as he feels himself toppling over, he lets go of the last restraints and falls, careless and willing, all the way, even though Kyuhyun’s actually quite bad at kissing - or at least, he’s had better.
Showing posts with label zhou mi. Show all posts
Showing posts with label zhou mi. Show all posts
Friday, 2 September 2011
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
[FIC] What's in a name: Zhou Mi
Title: What's in a name: Zhou Mi
Characters: Zhou Mi
Rating: G
Wordcount: 595
Summary: Zero was a nice amount to start with, in his opinion.
A/N: I wrote the first drabble (which was Leeteuk's) on the 8th of May and since then have gradually written the others as well. It is one drabble a member. There are no plotlines, this is basically my positive fangirl view on what goes on in their minds I guess, and I just really enjoyed writing these out, although it sometimes was a major battle.
- - - - -
Zero was a nice amount to start with, in his opinion.
However, the general idea was that somewhere along the way, one would start gaining something. It didn’t have to be treasures or kingdoms, but something, anything at all, would be nice. Yet from the moment on he had started to try and make something out of his life, from the moment on he had reset the count to zero, he had not gained anything at all the first few months. It had all been fights and hardship, struggling to make it big in a country that wasn’t even his own. It had been hard and he had felt like a piece of toilet paper more often than once, but it was during those times that he had realised the value of friends.
Overall his life had been quite peaceful. He had been the son of loving parents, growing up in a nice environment with a good amount of friends. There had been no real hardships for him throughout his years of studying, no big turns in life that he hadn’t expected. He had really been an average kid with an average life. That was, of course, until his talent for singing had been discovered and he had started participating in competitions. They were all for fun at first, not at all being a way for him to escape the boring nothingness of his life, like it was the case for some, but more something to have fun with, to see how far he would get in them.
Until his audition for SM Entertainment.. When his friend told him about having subscribed him for it, he had been surprised and shocked, but he had also liked it. It had been like a whole new adventure, being put in for an audition with a real music company. The surprise had been great when they told him he had passed and joy had been all around. Until he was sent to Korea to go join a group there to make it big with. That’s where the trouble had started.
Most of his friends had encouraged him to take the shot and go become an idol, but when they found out about his hardships, they had seen their own mistake and had often apologised. He had always laughed their worries away, for what good would it do to have them worry about him, yet it had indeed been a hell to live in. The group, of course, had been no problem at all. They had easily accepted him and had soon treated him as one of their own, but the fans..
It had been hell. Trying to live up to the expectations of so many, trying to stand against the hatred of even more. There had been times that he wanted to give up, but he had remained strong for his dongsaeng, who had gone through the same struggles. He had shown his strong side, had kept showing the fans and the anti-fans how he could take whatever they threw at him. At times where he really had wanted to give up, his members, his newfound family, would be there to cheer him up and help him go on, and when the first of his own, personal fans had shown up at the concerts, he had finally felt that he had gained something. Not only did people believe in him now, he also had his fourteen friends and family members, and even though he didn’t see them often, they were always there for him, together with the fans.
Characters: Zhou Mi
Rating: G
Wordcount: 595
Summary: Zero was a nice amount to start with, in his opinion.
A/N: I wrote the first drabble (which was Leeteuk's) on the 8th of May and since then have gradually written the others as well. It is one drabble a member. There are no plotlines, this is basically my positive fangirl view on what goes on in their minds I guess, and I just really enjoyed writing these out, although it sometimes was a major battle.
- - - - -
Zero was a nice amount to start with, in his opinion.
However, the general idea was that somewhere along the way, one would start gaining something. It didn’t have to be treasures or kingdoms, but something, anything at all, would be nice. Yet from the moment on he had started to try and make something out of his life, from the moment on he had reset the count to zero, he had not gained anything at all the first few months. It had all been fights and hardship, struggling to make it big in a country that wasn’t even his own. It had been hard and he had felt like a piece of toilet paper more often than once, but it was during those times that he had realised the value of friends.
Overall his life had been quite peaceful. He had been the son of loving parents, growing up in a nice environment with a good amount of friends. There had been no real hardships for him throughout his years of studying, no big turns in life that he hadn’t expected. He had really been an average kid with an average life. That was, of course, until his talent for singing had been discovered and he had started participating in competitions. They were all for fun at first, not at all being a way for him to escape the boring nothingness of his life, like it was the case for some, but more something to have fun with, to see how far he would get in them.
Until his audition for SM Entertainment.. When his friend told him about having subscribed him for it, he had been surprised and shocked, but he had also liked it. It had been like a whole new adventure, being put in for an audition with a real music company. The surprise had been great when they told him he had passed and joy had been all around. Until he was sent to Korea to go join a group there to make it big with. That’s where the trouble had started.
Most of his friends had encouraged him to take the shot and go become an idol, but when they found out about his hardships, they had seen their own mistake and had often apologised. He had always laughed their worries away, for what good would it do to have them worry about him, yet it had indeed been a hell to live in. The group, of course, had been no problem at all. They had easily accepted him and had soon treated him as one of their own, but the fans..
It had been hell. Trying to live up to the expectations of so many, trying to stand against the hatred of even more. There had been times that he wanted to give up, but he had remained strong for his dongsaeng, who had gone through the same struggles. He had shown his strong side, had kept showing the fans and the anti-fans how he could take whatever they threw at him. At times where he really had wanted to give up, his members, his newfound family, would be there to cheer him up and help him go on, and when the first of his own, personal fans had shown up at the concerts, he had finally felt that he had gained something. Not only did people believe in him now, he also had his fourteen friends and family members, and even though he didn’t see them often, they were always there for him, together with the fans.
[FIC] Turning back from walking away
Title: Turning back from walking away
Characters: Hyukjae, Donghae
Rating: G
Wordcount: 3.011
Summary: There's no point to living without the other, but is he really gone?
A/N: Written over today and yesterday (and possibly another day before that). Mostly today however. This shot is a creation of my mind that needed to be written. Sequel to Holding on to letting go but I guess readable as a stand alone as well. Pieces of my heart were torn out and put into this, so love it or I will be sad.
- - - - -
To him, life has become much alike to walking over broken glass barefooted. Every step he takes is even more painful than the previous, days blending together in a constant repetition of the same memories, his mind attuned to the stabs of pain they sent throughout his whole body. It’s like he almost welcomes the pain, knowing he deserves it, thinking it better than the emptiness that would otherwise consume him.
The windows of his apartment are small, tiny ruptures in the walls that feel like they’re closing in on him. Small openings for him to look through at the outside world, to see how life is so much brighter for those who are not him. For those who haven’t failed like him.
It’s little tiny monsters clawing at his heart, reminding him over and over again how stupid he’s been. He draws the name in his heart on a condensed window and watches it fade away again, but the feelings never change and when he looks up, the sky is still just as dreary and a single water drop splats apart on his arm, like a tear would if he still had any left to cry.
He’s gone numb over the years, no more tears to cry, no more pieces of his heart left big enough to break. There’s only a constant realisation that he’s alone and perhaps somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that it’s all of his own doing, making the feeling only harder to bear. Trying to live without Donghae is a little like trying to extinct a fire with his bare hands; it hurts big time and he realises that there’s a much better way to do it.
But Donghae is together with Kyuhyun. Or Siwon. Or maybe the other tall guy he saw him together with earlier that month, holding hands as they walked through the park. It’s as if all those people are laughing in his face for being stupid enough to have ever let go of that hand, to have ever let the younger walk away from him, stray too far. But they’re wrong, he tells them in his mind with bitter satisfaction. Donghae’s never walked away from him; he was the one leaving himself.
“What’s Neunggok like?” he remembers Donghae asking one day, the curiosity shining in his eyes. He had been tired that day, his students in dance class having been the most annoying they ever were and traffic on his way home sucking so badly he had almost wanted to leave the damn car somewhere along the way and walk the rest of the way home. It hadn’t been the best of days for him, so he had merely looked at the other in surprise for a moment before waving off the question.
“It’s like any other city.” he had replied then, and Donghae had pouted at him ever so sweetly, poking at his side to get him to say more than that. He remembers pushing away the soft hands and frowning at the insistence the other had nagged at him with. “It’s just a city, Donghae, what would it be like?” he had said then, annoyance seeping into his voice.
His answer had silenced Donghae, the younger looking up at him with something akin to hurt in his eyes before he had turned back to the television, continuing to watch the program that had been their evening entertainment. In reality it was merely something to fight off the silence that had settled between them once again, as talking would only lead them to yet another fight.
He realises now that those were the moments he should have acted differently, responded differently, if he had wanted to keep the other from pushing him away. He realises now that the reason he no longer has anyone to cuddle up to at night or to listen to his nagging had partly been Donghae, but mostly been himself and how he had always expected the other to be there no matter what.
“It’s alright.” a familiar voice whispers to him and he feels his heart settle as his muscles relax. It is alright, he realises, the other’s arms wrapped loosely around him, his face buried in the nape of the other’s neck, surrounded by the smell that used to always be present around him.
He’s not sure how they ended up like this; one moment he hadn’t spoken to the other in ages, the next he was at his doorstep, hoping to find him home. Which he was; all tired eyes and questioning expressions as he saw the other standing at his door at three in the morning.
“What are you doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?” he had mumbled but Hyukjae had merely thrown himself in the other’s arms, the first tears already finding their way over his cheeks. They held onto each other for dear life, Donghae sobering up soon enough and holding him close as he himself just cried weeks and months of unshed tears. For love, loss and memories.
After several tries at getting him to explain what was wrong, Donghae had given in to his reluctance to answer, growing silent and merely being there. Even after so many years, after so many misunderstandings and things going wrong, Donghae had held him as if nothing had ever changed between them, and it was more than he could have hoped for.
So now here he is, clinging to the younger still, even though his tears have long stopped flowing. He can feel Donghae shifting next to him and a sudden wave of fear washes over him. What if they’ll go back to being strangers the moment he lets go? What if being close like this is merely because Donghae had not known what else to do being overwhelmed by him like that.
The mere thought of going back to the emptiness makes a second wave of tears find their way over his cheeks and he can feel the other’s grip tightening once again, the hand on his back taking up its comforting patting again as well. He can almost imagine the worried look on the younger’s face but is too afraid to look up and see that it’s only that; imagination.
“Hyukjae, tell me what’s wrong..” Donghae finally speaks after another good five minutes of continuous sobbing. “I’ve never seen you like this, what the hell happened? How did you get reduced to this?” He wants the worry he thinks he hears in the other’s voice to be real, but he doesn’t know how that could be possible when all he’s ever done is disappoint the other an endless amount of times, time and again.
When the tears don’t seem to stop, Donghae lets go of him and he barely keeps himself from squeaking in fear, not wanting to have to walk away once again. He fists his hands in the younger boy’s shirt, pressing his face against the fabric again, refusing to face the other in the state he’s currently in.
“Hyukjae, look at me.” Donghae says softly, cupping his face with the soft, warm hands he knows so well and lifting it up, away from the questionable safety of the T-shirt. Their eyes meet then, the first time that day - night? - and he finds worry and care in the other boy’s eyes, only making him want to cry even more. Donghae wipes over his cheeks with his thumbs, cleaning away the fresh tears, and sends him a small, encouraging smile.
“I’m here, Hyukjae.” the younger says then and all he can do is close his eyes with a nod, burying himself in the other’s embrace once more.
He wakes up in a completely dark room, rolling over to cuddle up against the other, but there’s no one there. No one has been there for years now. Long, agonizing years in which he was able to remind himself over and over again how stupid he had been. For the umpteenth time that month he finds himself wondering if that one night had been a dream and for the umpteenth time he grabs at his phone, checking to see if the familiar phone number is really back in his contact list.
“You’re killing yourself, Hyukjae.” Donghae had said to him when the tears had finally subsided, the two of them sitting next to each other on the living room couch. And damn the fact that that was still the same couch as when they lived in that apartment together. “You keep things pent up inside until you break, but you never actually break and it becomes so hard for you to bear that you grow gloomier every day. You have always been like this, even when we were still together.”
Donghae had given him one of those looks that said ‘I know what you’re made of, don’t try to deny it,’ and so he hadn’t. But now, lying in bed in the dark room that will only grow darker unless he turns on a light, he thinks that maybe he should’ve denied it. Because if he never really broke, then why the hell had he been crying like a baby in the other’s arms? What did Donghae really think he was doing there, forgetting any kind of pride as he cried his heart out?
With a snarl, he throws the phone away from him, hearing it drop on the floor mere moments later but refusing to feel bad about it. He’s close to going crazy, really, and for a moment he wonders if maybe Donghae is right after all. If maybe he is killing himself, tearing himself down piece by piece, thread by thread. But if he is, he’s doing it all because of the other and he doesn’t regret a single thing.
“You have to get out more.” Jungsoo tells him one day, throwing the discarded clothes in the laundry basket on his way to the kitchen. Hyukjae can’t even find it in himself anymore to tell the other to leave it, instead remaining curled up on the couch, a pillow squished in between his legs and body. Minutes later Jungsoo stuffs a plate of food in his face, but he merely turns away from it, the smell alone making him want to throw up.
“Starving yourself isn’t going to make him come to save you, Hyukjae.” the elder speaks after a moment, putting down the plate on the living room table and crossing his arms in front of his chest then. “You need to go out there and show him that you want him to come back, that you’re worth coming back to.” He can’t help huffing at those words, but the next moment his whole body starts shaking violently because of his own sobbing.
He curses this feeling, the way he shifts from good to bad to even worse in a matter of seconds. He hates the way Jungsoo has to catch him before he falls, pull him back up, put him back on his feet. He despises himself, despises what he has become, but has no energy left to change it. So he simply cries against Jungsoo’s shoulder for several moments before manning up again and going back to staring blankly ahead.
Zhou Mi is a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world. Introduced to him by Jungsoo he shouldn’t have expected anything less, but it still surprises him how the tall man manages to brighten even his days. The redhead drags him out of the house against his will if necessary, bringing him out to see the world and all the wondrous things it has to offer. He follows albeit reluctantly, but the more he goes out the more he enjoys it and soon he’s almost waiting for the other to show up at his door and take him out.
Zhou Mi is stupid jokes and awkward laughter, he’s occasional random hugs and the most awkward stick on legs Hyukjae’s ever seen. Zhou Mi makes him smile more than anyone else and he doesn’t even put an effort into it. Hyukjae finds himself blooming because of him, recreating his life as he goes, one step at a time, starting with a new job and new dreams. Zhou Mi is life and oxygen and Hyukjae breathes him in without restraints.
One day he thinks it’s a good idea to do something in return for all Zhou Mi’s kindness, so he pecks the other on the lips. A long awkward silence, several minutes of staring and a frown later he realises that maybe that wasn’t the brightest idea he’s ever had. Zhou Mi stares at him like he’s just landed on earth in a pink UFO and he feels extremely uncomfortable under that gaze, shifting in his seat and shyly looking away.
“What was that for?” the redhead asks after a while and he shrugs, not having a clue either. At least not anymore, the look on Zhou Mi’s face having erased every explanation he had for what he just did. They stare at each other a few moments longer in awkward silence before Zhou Mi continues the sentence Hyukjae’s action had interrupted. When he leaves later that afternoon, he smiles and waves like he always does, sunshine smile plastered on his face.
He doesn’t visit again.
Life goes back to the dull nothing it used to be. He lies in bed more often than not and doesn’t even open the door for Jungsoo anymore. After several persistent weeks of coming by every day and being left at the door, Jungsoo gives up on him too. He’s okay with that. It’s not as if there’s much of him left to care for anyway. The fact that he’s jobless doesn’t bother him as much, the few drops of water and the bits of electricity he uses are not a lot to pay for anyway. He lives off of his savings, but then again it’s not really to be called living. He decides he doesn’t care anymore.
It’s about seven months after his sister was diagnosed with aids, seven months after the night he spent crying in Donghae’s arms, when someone comes by again. He ignores the doorbell as he has been doing for five consecutive weeks now, but whoever’s at the door is persistent, ringing and ringing until he sees no other way to escape the shrill sound than to get up and walk over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open with quite a bit of effort.
“What do you want?” he bites at the person standing behind it, freezing in his movements when his eyes lock with the other man. For a while he just stands there, staring like that, the other person looking back calmly, before he shakes his head and repeats his question. “What do you want? Why are you here?”
“I heard you the first time,” Kyuhyun replies coldly, glancing past him into his apartment. “I think the proper words to start a conversation with are ‘Would you like to come in?’ perhaps followed by ‘Excuse me for the mess.’ You don’t really have any manners, do you?”
“Why would I apologise for a non-existing mess?” he retorts, opening the door wider as he realises he isn’t going to get rid of the pest anyway. “Come in then, if you’re going to be a stuck up idiot you can at least do it inside.” Kyuhyun eyes him a moment longer and he swears he can see surprise in the younger one’s eyes, but then the kid walks past him, not even looking back as he speaks up again.
“You do indeed smell better than I had imagined, and I can still see the floor. That’s a nice surprise. Now if you could only show to the outside world that you haven’t died yet, that would be awesome.” he rambles in a flat tone. Hyukjae closes the door and walks over to his couch, not even bothering to see what Kyuhyun’s up to as he flops down on the soft cushions, closing his eyes the moment his head touches the armrest.
“What are you doing here, Kyuhyun-ssi?” he asks in a low voice, not up for the pleasantries and the evasive talk. In fact, he’s not up for anything coming from the younger. He still clearly remembers how it was Kyuhyun prancing around holding Donghae’s hands in the months after their break-up. And even after so many years passed, he still doesn’t want to forget about that.
“I’m here to fix Donghae.” is all the younger replies, but it’s enough to make Hyukjae look up, a frown edged into his forehead.
“Why are you here for that? Donghae’s not around here. You should go to his place.” he replies softly, even the other’s name making him feel weak inside. Or maybe it’s the lack of food and sleep. He’s not exactly sure why, but Kyuhyun smirks and crosses his arms in front of his chest. They eye each other for a while, until Kyuhyun sighs and shakes his head.
“Donghae’s heart is here.” he says then, completely shaking Hyukjae’s world, making every fibre in his body glow and resound at those words. “And you’re not really taking care of it.”
He’s pretty sure the world’s playing tricks on him, but if they amount to him finding himself locked in Donghae’s embrace he’s more than willing to play along. The heartbeat under his hand feels real, though, and he’s convinced he’s not imagining the way Donghae’s breath tickles his neck as the other exhales. He closes his eyes to savour the moment even more, before sighing deeply.
“I’m sorry.” he breathes then and Donghae nods against his shoulder. It’s nothing at all, but it’s everything as well and he feels like he could cry right then and there if Donghae wasn’t already doing that more than enough for the both of them.
Characters: Hyukjae, Donghae
Rating: G
Wordcount: 3.011
Summary: There's no point to living without the other, but is he really gone?
A/N: Written over today and yesterday (and possibly another day before that). Mostly today however. This shot is a creation of my mind that needed to be written. Sequel to Holding on to letting go but I guess readable as a stand alone as well. Pieces of my heart were torn out and put into this, so love it or I will be sad.
- - - - -
To him, life has become much alike to walking over broken glass barefooted. Every step he takes is even more painful than the previous, days blending together in a constant repetition of the same memories, his mind attuned to the stabs of pain they sent throughout his whole body. It’s like he almost welcomes the pain, knowing he deserves it, thinking it better than the emptiness that would otherwise consume him.
The windows of his apartment are small, tiny ruptures in the walls that feel like they’re closing in on him. Small openings for him to look through at the outside world, to see how life is so much brighter for those who are not him. For those who haven’t failed like him.
It’s little tiny monsters clawing at his heart, reminding him over and over again how stupid he’s been. He draws the name in his heart on a condensed window and watches it fade away again, but the feelings never change and when he looks up, the sky is still just as dreary and a single water drop splats apart on his arm, like a tear would if he still had any left to cry.
He’s gone numb over the years, no more tears to cry, no more pieces of his heart left big enough to break. There’s only a constant realisation that he’s alone and perhaps somewhere in the back of his mind he knows that it’s all of his own doing, making the feeling only harder to bear. Trying to live without Donghae is a little like trying to extinct a fire with his bare hands; it hurts big time and he realises that there’s a much better way to do it.
But Donghae is together with Kyuhyun. Or Siwon. Or maybe the other tall guy he saw him together with earlier that month, holding hands as they walked through the park. It’s as if all those people are laughing in his face for being stupid enough to have ever let go of that hand, to have ever let the younger walk away from him, stray too far. But they’re wrong, he tells them in his mind with bitter satisfaction. Donghae’s never walked away from him; he was the one leaving himself.
“What’s Neunggok like?” he remembers Donghae asking one day, the curiosity shining in his eyes. He had been tired that day, his students in dance class having been the most annoying they ever were and traffic on his way home sucking so badly he had almost wanted to leave the damn car somewhere along the way and walk the rest of the way home. It hadn’t been the best of days for him, so he had merely looked at the other in surprise for a moment before waving off the question.
“It’s like any other city.” he had replied then, and Donghae had pouted at him ever so sweetly, poking at his side to get him to say more than that. He remembers pushing away the soft hands and frowning at the insistence the other had nagged at him with. “It’s just a city, Donghae, what would it be like?” he had said then, annoyance seeping into his voice.
His answer had silenced Donghae, the younger looking up at him with something akin to hurt in his eyes before he had turned back to the television, continuing to watch the program that had been their evening entertainment. In reality it was merely something to fight off the silence that had settled between them once again, as talking would only lead them to yet another fight.
He realises now that those were the moments he should have acted differently, responded differently, if he had wanted to keep the other from pushing him away. He realises now that the reason he no longer has anyone to cuddle up to at night or to listen to his nagging had partly been Donghae, but mostly been himself and how he had always expected the other to be there no matter what.
“It’s alright.” a familiar voice whispers to him and he feels his heart settle as his muscles relax. It is alright, he realises, the other’s arms wrapped loosely around him, his face buried in the nape of the other’s neck, surrounded by the smell that used to always be present around him.
He’s not sure how they ended up like this; one moment he hadn’t spoken to the other in ages, the next he was at his doorstep, hoping to find him home. Which he was; all tired eyes and questioning expressions as he saw the other standing at his door at three in the morning.
“What are you doing here? Do you have any idea what time it is?” he had mumbled but Hyukjae had merely thrown himself in the other’s arms, the first tears already finding their way over his cheeks. They held onto each other for dear life, Donghae sobering up soon enough and holding him close as he himself just cried weeks and months of unshed tears. For love, loss and memories.
After several tries at getting him to explain what was wrong, Donghae had given in to his reluctance to answer, growing silent and merely being there. Even after so many years, after so many misunderstandings and things going wrong, Donghae had held him as if nothing had ever changed between them, and it was more than he could have hoped for.
So now here he is, clinging to the younger still, even though his tears have long stopped flowing. He can feel Donghae shifting next to him and a sudden wave of fear washes over him. What if they’ll go back to being strangers the moment he lets go? What if being close like this is merely because Donghae had not known what else to do being overwhelmed by him like that.
The mere thought of going back to the emptiness makes a second wave of tears find their way over his cheeks and he can feel the other’s grip tightening once again, the hand on his back taking up its comforting patting again as well. He can almost imagine the worried look on the younger’s face but is too afraid to look up and see that it’s only that; imagination.
“Hyukjae, tell me what’s wrong..” Donghae finally speaks after another good five minutes of continuous sobbing. “I’ve never seen you like this, what the hell happened? How did you get reduced to this?” He wants the worry he thinks he hears in the other’s voice to be real, but he doesn’t know how that could be possible when all he’s ever done is disappoint the other an endless amount of times, time and again.
When the tears don’t seem to stop, Donghae lets go of him and he barely keeps himself from squeaking in fear, not wanting to have to walk away once again. He fists his hands in the younger boy’s shirt, pressing his face against the fabric again, refusing to face the other in the state he’s currently in.
“Hyukjae, look at me.” Donghae says softly, cupping his face with the soft, warm hands he knows so well and lifting it up, away from the questionable safety of the T-shirt. Their eyes meet then, the first time that day - night? - and he finds worry and care in the other boy’s eyes, only making him want to cry even more. Donghae wipes over his cheeks with his thumbs, cleaning away the fresh tears, and sends him a small, encouraging smile.
“I’m here, Hyukjae.” the younger says then and all he can do is close his eyes with a nod, burying himself in the other’s embrace once more.
He wakes up in a completely dark room, rolling over to cuddle up against the other, but there’s no one there. No one has been there for years now. Long, agonizing years in which he was able to remind himself over and over again how stupid he had been. For the umpteenth time that month he finds himself wondering if that one night had been a dream and for the umpteenth time he grabs at his phone, checking to see if the familiar phone number is really back in his contact list.
“You’re killing yourself, Hyukjae.” Donghae had said to him when the tears had finally subsided, the two of them sitting next to each other on the living room couch. And damn the fact that that was still the same couch as when they lived in that apartment together. “You keep things pent up inside until you break, but you never actually break and it becomes so hard for you to bear that you grow gloomier every day. You have always been like this, even when we were still together.”
Donghae had given him one of those looks that said ‘I know what you’re made of, don’t try to deny it,’ and so he hadn’t. But now, lying in bed in the dark room that will only grow darker unless he turns on a light, he thinks that maybe he should’ve denied it. Because if he never really broke, then why the hell had he been crying like a baby in the other’s arms? What did Donghae really think he was doing there, forgetting any kind of pride as he cried his heart out?
With a snarl, he throws the phone away from him, hearing it drop on the floor mere moments later but refusing to feel bad about it. He’s close to going crazy, really, and for a moment he wonders if maybe Donghae is right after all. If maybe he is killing himself, tearing himself down piece by piece, thread by thread. But if he is, he’s doing it all because of the other and he doesn’t regret a single thing.
“You have to get out more.” Jungsoo tells him one day, throwing the discarded clothes in the laundry basket on his way to the kitchen. Hyukjae can’t even find it in himself anymore to tell the other to leave it, instead remaining curled up on the couch, a pillow squished in between his legs and body. Minutes later Jungsoo stuffs a plate of food in his face, but he merely turns away from it, the smell alone making him want to throw up.
“Starving yourself isn’t going to make him come to save you, Hyukjae.” the elder speaks after a moment, putting down the plate on the living room table and crossing his arms in front of his chest then. “You need to go out there and show him that you want him to come back, that you’re worth coming back to.” He can’t help huffing at those words, but the next moment his whole body starts shaking violently because of his own sobbing.
He curses this feeling, the way he shifts from good to bad to even worse in a matter of seconds. He hates the way Jungsoo has to catch him before he falls, pull him back up, put him back on his feet. He despises himself, despises what he has become, but has no energy left to change it. So he simply cries against Jungsoo’s shoulder for several moments before manning up again and going back to staring blankly ahead.
Zhou Mi is a ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark world. Introduced to him by Jungsoo he shouldn’t have expected anything less, but it still surprises him how the tall man manages to brighten even his days. The redhead drags him out of the house against his will if necessary, bringing him out to see the world and all the wondrous things it has to offer. He follows albeit reluctantly, but the more he goes out the more he enjoys it and soon he’s almost waiting for the other to show up at his door and take him out.
Zhou Mi is stupid jokes and awkward laughter, he’s occasional random hugs and the most awkward stick on legs Hyukjae’s ever seen. Zhou Mi makes him smile more than anyone else and he doesn’t even put an effort into it. Hyukjae finds himself blooming because of him, recreating his life as he goes, one step at a time, starting with a new job and new dreams. Zhou Mi is life and oxygen and Hyukjae breathes him in without restraints.
One day he thinks it’s a good idea to do something in return for all Zhou Mi’s kindness, so he pecks the other on the lips. A long awkward silence, several minutes of staring and a frown later he realises that maybe that wasn’t the brightest idea he’s ever had. Zhou Mi stares at him like he’s just landed on earth in a pink UFO and he feels extremely uncomfortable under that gaze, shifting in his seat and shyly looking away.
“What was that for?” the redhead asks after a while and he shrugs, not having a clue either. At least not anymore, the look on Zhou Mi’s face having erased every explanation he had for what he just did. They stare at each other a few moments longer in awkward silence before Zhou Mi continues the sentence Hyukjae’s action had interrupted. When he leaves later that afternoon, he smiles and waves like he always does, sunshine smile plastered on his face.
He doesn’t visit again.
Life goes back to the dull nothing it used to be. He lies in bed more often than not and doesn’t even open the door for Jungsoo anymore. After several persistent weeks of coming by every day and being left at the door, Jungsoo gives up on him too. He’s okay with that. It’s not as if there’s much of him left to care for anyway. The fact that he’s jobless doesn’t bother him as much, the few drops of water and the bits of electricity he uses are not a lot to pay for anyway. He lives off of his savings, but then again it’s not really to be called living. He decides he doesn’t care anymore.
It’s about seven months after his sister was diagnosed with aids, seven months after the night he spent crying in Donghae’s arms, when someone comes by again. He ignores the doorbell as he has been doing for five consecutive weeks now, but whoever’s at the door is persistent, ringing and ringing until he sees no other way to escape the shrill sound than to get up and walk over to the door, unlocking it and pulling it open with quite a bit of effort.
“What do you want?” he bites at the person standing behind it, freezing in his movements when his eyes lock with the other man. For a while he just stands there, staring like that, the other person looking back calmly, before he shakes his head and repeats his question. “What do you want? Why are you here?”
“I heard you the first time,” Kyuhyun replies coldly, glancing past him into his apartment. “I think the proper words to start a conversation with are ‘Would you like to come in?’ perhaps followed by ‘Excuse me for the mess.’ You don’t really have any manners, do you?”
“Why would I apologise for a non-existing mess?” he retorts, opening the door wider as he realises he isn’t going to get rid of the pest anyway. “Come in then, if you’re going to be a stuck up idiot you can at least do it inside.” Kyuhyun eyes him a moment longer and he swears he can see surprise in the younger one’s eyes, but then the kid walks past him, not even looking back as he speaks up again.
“You do indeed smell better than I had imagined, and I can still see the floor. That’s a nice surprise. Now if you could only show to the outside world that you haven’t died yet, that would be awesome.” he rambles in a flat tone. Hyukjae closes the door and walks over to his couch, not even bothering to see what Kyuhyun’s up to as he flops down on the soft cushions, closing his eyes the moment his head touches the armrest.
“What are you doing here, Kyuhyun-ssi?” he asks in a low voice, not up for the pleasantries and the evasive talk. In fact, he’s not up for anything coming from the younger. He still clearly remembers how it was Kyuhyun prancing around holding Donghae’s hands in the months after their break-up. And even after so many years passed, he still doesn’t want to forget about that.
“I’m here to fix Donghae.” is all the younger replies, but it’s enough to make Hyukjae look up, a frown edged into his forehead.
“Why are you here for that? Donghae’s not around here. You should go to his place.” he replies softly, even the other’s name making him feel weak inside. Or maybe it’s the lack of food and sleep. He’s not exactly sure why, but Kyuhyun smirks and crosses his arms in front of his chest. They eye each other for a while, until Kyuhyun sighs and shakes his head.
“Donghae’s heart is here.” he says then, completely shaking Hyukjae’s world, making every fibre in his body glow and resound at those words. “And you’re not really taking care of it.”
He’s pretty sure the world’s playing tricks on him, but if they amount to him finding himself locked in Donghae’s embrace he’s more than willing to play along. The heartbeat under his hand feels real, though, and he’s convinced he’s not imagining the way Donghae’s breath tickles his neck as the other exhales. He closes his eyes to savour the moment even more, before sighing deeply.
“I’m sorry.” he breathes then and Donghae nods against his shoulder. It’s nothing at all, but it’s everything as well and he feels like he could cry right then and there if Donghae wasn’t already doing that more than enough for the both of them.
Monday, 29 August 2011
[FIC] I dare you to move
Title: I dare you to move
Characters: Hyukjae, Zhou Mi, Donghae, Heechul, Kibum, Siwon
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3.314
Summary: They're trying to find the lesser one of all evils
A/N: So this is a story I started writing after reading one of my friend's newest fics. It inspired me to write abstract, vague stuff and this is what came out of that. The title comes from the song I've been listening to non-stop to write this; Dare you to move by Switchfoot. Aside from that I have nothing to say about this. I strangely love the story, especially the ending, which came out after reading one of Tablo's stories. ^^ I wish to warn my readers for character death. Nothing explicitly gross or anything, but people die. That is life.
- - - - -
The world is a dark place.
Literally.
To some it’s normal, they don’t know any better. To others it’s a sign of how much the world has changed since they were born.
He’s one of those that don’t have a clue.
But Heechul, Heechul speaks of wondrous scenes and abstract things like rainbows, or a shiny yellow orb called the sun.
It’s a dark world, but there’s still dreams and if you really want, you can make it big. Or at least that’s what they tell themselves when they lie awake in bed until late at night, trying to act like it’s not all bad and gruesome.
He usually fails at that.
It’s a dark Friday morning when they gather at the corner of the school building, Siwon bringing a few cigarettes, Donghae holding up the lighter he stole from his parents, Hyukjae taking the first drag. Zhou Mi just stands next to Hyukjae and looks at them. His expression is slightly judging, but he doesn’t say a word about it. They all know they’re doing something bad anyway.
“So what are the plans for the long weekend?” Donghae asks and he blows the cigarette smoke back out as he talks. It crinkles up into the air, becoming invisible to their eyes not long after.
They all shrug in reply to the question. There obviously are no plans.
“We could go somewhere together?” Hyukjae suggests. They pretend to think about it, but the answer is clear already. It’s always yes. What else would they do with their time?
“Hang out at the Monster?” Siwon adds like an afterthought and the other two nod in unison.
“Yo, Siwon, Hae, what have you two been up to? Haven’t seen you around lately!” It’s Youngwoon who walks up to them, wraps them in manly hugs and pats their backs rather harshly. Hyukjae is ignored, but he’s used to that. In this world of back alley clubs and spotlights his friends are more famous than he is. It’s not always clear if he cares about it or not.
“Been here and there, nothing much,” Siwon replies to their friend, tough grin on his face. These are their images, the parts they need to play in the theatre that is their lives. Siwon is the tough one, the one who beats up anyone that even dares to touch them. He’s growing more and more into that image lately. “What about you, hyung? Beat up some more people lately?” He laughs, Youngwoon laughs, Donghae does too. Hyukjae stays a little in the background. Zhou Mi didn’t even bother coming.
Zhou Mi is worth even less than Hyukjae in this scenery. He does not fight people, nor does he look angry or scary. Zhou Mi is the lamb of the underground world. You can’t find anyone more innocent than him in the world they live in.
But Siwon is not the only tough one. Donghae is Siwon’s right hand, in some way of speaking. Donghae doesn’t hit people, nor does he have that tough smile, but when he stares at someone long enough, they’ll leave anyway. No one wants to get Donghae angry.
It’s not exactly the fact that Donghae looks scary when he’s angry, or that he has killed someone in the past. What scares them is that he has never been angry before in a world where being angry is the new breathing. There’s nothing to win with kindness. One has to be hard and tough to survive, is what they say.
Donghae is not at all, but only Hyukjae knows this. Not even Siwon does.
“Yah you bastard, try saying that again with my fist in your face!” the tall, well-built man yells at him. Hyukjae merely looks back, eyes ever so cold. Usually he’s not the one to impress people, but there’s a certain absence of fear about him at that moment that makes his opponent hesitate. And hesitation is all it takes in the world they live in.
“I shall repeat myself; you’re a dickhead and you should stay the fuck away from my friends.” Hyukjae speaks then, voice icy, eyes still piercing into the other’s. They stand like that for a moment, before the guy who’s probably twice Hyukjae’s size relaxes and leaves.
Hyukjae calmly turns to the person he just saved then, reaching out a hand and helping the other up. “You alright?” he asks, getting a short nod in reply. The guy he saved is about half a head taller than him, doesn’t look like he’s familiar with the underground life, and smiles with so much innocence still it’s hard to think he’s lived in the same world as them for his whole life.
“You didn’t have to do that.” he speaks once he’s standing steady, voice a kind of caramel smooth with a rough edge to it. “I could’ve taken him on my own.” Hyukjae eyes the other in a scrutinising way, eyes wandering over the smooth face and unharmed skin, before he nods shortly and pulls his hand out of the gentle grip.
“Don’t get yourself in trouble again, okay? The streets are no place for people like you. You’d better stay inside the city walls.” he replies uninterestedly, turning away and walking off. But the stranger calls after him and he stops to look back.
“When I said I could’ve taken him on my own, I meant it. But thanks anyway, Hyukjae-ssi. When you need help one day, I’ll be the one to rescue you instead.” the boy speaks, pulling something out of his back pocket and throwing it at Hyukjae. It’s a pocket knife, the name ‘Kibum’ engraved in it. “Show this to someone important when you need help. People know where to find me.”
There’s a nod, a glimpse of a smirk and then Kibum turns around and walks away, disappearing into some back alley as he goes. Hyukjae is left staring after him, wondering how the hell that guy knows his real name.
“Remember the days when the world was brighter?” Heechul asks one day, something lighting up his eyes, but he shakes his head to that. The elder snorts, before sighing. “Yeah.. No one does.” he speaks then, smiling and lifting a hand to ruffle his hair. “No one does..” he repeats, but the light has left his eyes again.
He watches his hyung often, sitting in the chair close to Heechul’s bed, looking at how the light flashes on his pale skin. There’s so many emotions that Heechul hides. They’re all hiding something, so it’s nothing very surprising, but to him it feels like Heechul doesn’t specifically try to hide anything, his emotions just happen to not be visible to others.
One day Donghae takes a punch for Hyukjae. The fist is supposed to hit Hyukjae unconscious, but instead Donghae jumps in the way, taking it with his back and slamming into the ground. There’s a moment in which everyone stares at the boy on the ground, but then the attacker realises what he’s done and everyone runs as fast as they can.
Hyukjae crouches down in the blink of an eye, rolls his friend over and looks straight at Donghae’s bleeding nose and scraped forehead. The angle of the street light creates shadows under Donghae’s eyes that reflect how little sleep he's had over the past weeks.
Siwon rages at everyone who remains in a too close proximity with them and deals a few punches to people he knows relate to the guy who hit Donghae. Hyukjae watches it with empty eyes as he helps Donghae sit up and wipes the little pieces of gravel off of his friend’s face. He vaguely wonders if Siwon would have reacted like that too if he were the one to take the punch, but drops the idea before it can bring him pain.
When Hyukjae arrives at school the next morning, Zhou Mi’s applying disinfectant on Donghae’s forehead, while Donghae stares at the tall boy in faked annoyance, pretending to be tough. Zhou Mi makes sure he’s done before Siwon arrives.
“Where were you this weekend?” Siwon demands to know and Hyukjae frowns but remains silent, because they never ask questions about the others’ whereabouts. It’s an unwritten rule. “I asked you a question.” Siwon states then, expression darkening. Hyukjae just keeps staring, until the fist comes at him seemingly out of nowhere. He darts out of reach before it can hit him, taking his hands out of his pockets to defend himself if necessary and looking at Siwon in genuine surprise.
“Since when is it any of your business what I do with my weekends?” he asks, voice cold, some of that life in his eyes that surprises Siwon. They are not used to fire and fighting spirit. People are dull, people are tired, people are just trying to end up in the lesser one of all the evils. Hyukjae is starting to look more and more like he’s willing to live and it unsettles Siwon. Donghae merely stays out of it.
Zhou Mi just stands a little aside and looks at them judgingly. He always does.
“Forests were very pretty places. When I was younger my parents would take me on long walks through the forests and I’d play in the mud or chase after wild animals.”
It sounds like a fairytale to him, but Heechul is obviously lost in memories, smiling for once without that hint of regret. It makes him smile too as he runs his fingers through his hair and settles into the chair a little better. He wants to ask something more about those forests and what they looked like, but Heechul’s fallen asleep again, his breathing even.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Siwon hisses, and Donghae tightens his grip on the taller man’s wrist. Siwon doesn’t even try to struggle, he just glares. Hyukjae ignores the hatred seeping out of every part of Siwon’s body. Zhou Mi stands next to them with hurt in his eyes and pleading looks that for some reason keep going to Hyukjae and not to Siwon, as if he’s more scared of what the first will do than of Siwon’s anger.
“Like I said.” Hyukjae states calmly. “I’m talking to one of my acquaintances.” He turns around again then, completely disregarding anything that might be said to him from then on as he walks back to Hangeng - probably one of Siwon’s biggest enemies in the underground scene.
The next thing they know, Siwon throws himself forward and it takes both Donghae, Zhou Mi and two of Hangeng’s friends to stop the fight that ensues. Hyukjae comes out with several bleeding wounds and a look in his eyes that speaks of nothing but disappointment. Siwon realises that whatever he has been seeing in Hyukjae’s eyes for the past weeks, has finally made it further than just his eyes. Hyukjae is no longer the gullible kid they got to know him as.
Sitting in the back of a truck, they look out over a never-ending road that seems to fly by. An endless stream of asphalt and building ruins on the side. Hyukjae’s silent, arms wrapped around his knees that he pulled up against his chest. Zhou Mi’s sitting next to him, head having slouched to the side in his sleep. There’s no one else with them, no Donghae or Siwon, just the two of them.
It doesn’t take long for Zhou Mi to wake up, a bump in the road making him open his eyes in a flash. He looks around drowsily and tries to remember what he’s doing in the car. When he finally does, he stares at the passing road with empty eyes.
“Why are we here?” he asks after a moment of silence, and Hyukjae turns to look at him.
“I don’t know. I wanted to get out of there. Don’t you ever want to get out of that place? It’s all lifeless and dark.” he speaks, making Zhou Mi smile mirthlessly.
“The whole world is dark.” he says, but they both knew that already anyway. “Why did you take me along?” he adds then.
“Because you’re not.” Hyukjae smiles, something in his eyes that reminds Zhou Mi of life.
“I’m not what?” he inquires, trying to understand what his friend is talking about.
“You’re not dark, Mi, not lifeless.” Hyukjae replies then, turning to look at him and smiling still. “You’re alive and you’re hoping to make your life better than what it is now. None of us tries to do that. We just go with how things are. Smoking, drinking, fighting. You do none of that. You smile so genuinely and people call you a moron for it, but you don’t care. You just keep smiling. I don’t want you to have to live in that dark place.”
Zhou Mi hears things between the sentences that Hyukjae can’t bear to say out loud and he easily wraps an arm around the other’s shoulders, allowing Hyukjae to lean into the touch.
Sometimes he asks himself if he could draw a circle on the wall and walk through it. Heechul says anything is possible as long as you believe in it. Reality says it’s a solid stone wall, you can’t walk through that, and if you do try anyway you’ll have a headache. He likes Heechul’s way of thinking more, but still abides by reality’s words, because that is what he lives in.
“Not everything comes flying into your arms.” Heechul tells him, voice having grown hoarser throughout the years they’ve known each other. “But some things do even when you don’t want them to. You can try to outrun something like that, but in the end it’ll catch up with you and you’ll be stuck with it. Life is not a playground. It has become a battlefield.”
He smiles without happiness, runs his fingertips over the armrest of his chair and tries to imagine possible scenarios for every single crack in it. Heechul says something more, but it is in that language he doesn’t understand so he doesn’t listen to it. When he looks up several moments later, Heechul is looking at him with a distant expression on his face. He understands what is being said to him without hearing any words.
“Why didn’t you ask Donghae to come instead of me?” Zhou Mi asks him one day as they sit at the kitchen table eating their instant noodles. The Chinese man’s dark hair is tied into a small ponytail on the back of his head, his dark eyes peering at Hyukjae with a wisdom in them that is beyond his age. He clicks his chopsticks together in front of the other’s face when there’s no immediate response and smiles teasingly. “How often do I have to tell you no to sleep with your eyes open? Eat your food before it’s cold.”
Hyukjae blinks at that, consciously looks at his friend then, and tries to smile back. He fails awkwardly at it. “Donghae...” he speaks in a soft voice when Zhou Mi does not look away. “He cares about Siwon too much. He wouldn’t leave his hyung to go with me.” There’s a sad touch to Hyukjae’s smile, but Zhou Mi knows it’s not because Donghae doesn’t want to come along with him, but because he chooses to live in an environment he’s not made for just so he can be with the one he admires. Hyukjae regrets that Donghae can’t live like they’re doing.
They start to fall into a lifestyle that feels foreign to them, yet is normal for everyone else around them. Finishing up their studies, going to school every day and coming home to either cook dinner or eat what the other has prepared. The one home first makes the food is the golden rule, except for during the weekends, when they mostly just order in. It’s a comfortable existence they have and it works out even after university when they both get a job.
It all changes halfway into their first year of work, when a dark letter is sent by mail. The name on the back is not familiar to Zhou Mi, a certain man with the surname Kim, but Hyukjae pales a little upon seeing it and refuses to even look at it. Zhou Mi is not allowed to touch it either and he doesn’t because it’s addressed to Hyukjae not him. The next day the letter disappears and Hyukjae doesn’t talk about it anymore. That weekend, Zhou Mi wakes up in the middle of the night to a crying Hyukjae on the kitchen floor.
He wraps an arm around the other, pulls the lifeless body against his and hugs it. Hyukjae’s body trembles with soundless sobs, his tears seeming unending. He cries until well past five in the morning and Zhou Mi sits with him, holds him, comforts him. When Hyukjae stops crying, he holds him a little more, until trembling fingers bring a crumbled paper into view. When it unfolds, Zhou Mi read one thing only but needs no more.
‘Lee Donghae’ it says in dark, mysterious font that speaks of endings and silence. Hyukjae doesn’t talk for a whole week and when he finally says something during dinner the next Monday, he pretends nothing happened. Zhou Mi doesn’t try to force reality onto him.
They sit on the balcony one day, looking out over the streets where cars pass by occasionally. Hyukjae hums a song that sounds distantly familiar. It fills them with melancholy.
“How did you get us here?” Zhou Mi asks at some point. “Where did the truck come from that took us?”
“I got help from a friend.” Hyukjae states, staring into the distance. He’s clutching something in his hands that looks like a pocket knife with slight writing on it.
“Do you think I will ever see the sun, hyung?” he asks and Heechul smiles.
“Maybe.. But you shouldn’t hope for too much.” the elder replies, always honest, never giving hope when there is nothing to hope for. He smiles as well then, nodding slightly.
“I guess so.” he replies. Heechul nods too, then closes his eyes. He’ll probably fall asleep again soon.
He looks outside the window at the sky covered in clouds and the streets filled with kids trying to pick the lesser one out of all the evils. He tells himself he tried his best for them, that there’s nothing he can do about it. Even his mind doesn’t believe him when he remembers the grave of an innocent young man who was full of life but chose to die for someone he didn’t even know.
When he looks up at Heechul, the elder is not breathing anymore. He smiles a bitter smile and gets up, pulling the blanket over Heechul’s face. He mumbles something that might or might not be a prayer and walks out of the hospital room to tell a nurse.
One day the news speaks of possibilities that the sky might clear enough above their city to catch a glimpse of the sun. The next day they say the assumption was wrong. No hopes are crushed because no one bothers to hope for these things anymore.
The next week the sky does clear above their city and everyone stays inside because they’re afraid to get burned. Hyukjae goes to the park and stares at the sun all day. Zhou Mi sits next to him with an umbrella shielding him from the sunlight, watching the trees’ shadows wave on the ground. When they go home in the evening, Hyukjae sees black spots everywhere and they laugh when he walks into a street light for the third time.
It sounds foreign even to their own ears, but they do it again the fourth time as well.
Characters: Hyukjae, Zhou Mi, Donghae, Heechul, Kibum, Siwon
Rating: PG-13
Wordcount: 3.314
Summary: They're trying to find the lesser one of all evils
A/N: So this is a story I started writing after reading one of my friend's newest fics. It inspired me to write abstract, vague stuff and this is what came out of that. The title comes from the song I've been listening to non-stop to write this; Dare you to move by Switchfoot. Aside from that I have nothing to say about this. I strangely love the story, especially the ending, which came out after reading one of Tablo's stories. ^^ I wish to warn my readers for character death. Nothing explicitly gross or anything, but people die. That is life.
- - - - -
The world is a dark place.
Literally.
To some it’s normal, they don’t know any better. To others it’s a sign of how much the world has changed since they were born.
He’s one of those that don’t have a clue.
But Heechul, Heechul speaks of wondrous scenes and abstract things like rainbows, or a shiny yellow orb called the sun.
It’s a dark world, but there’s still dreams and if you really want, you can make it big. Or at least that’s what they tell themselves when they lie awake in bed until late at night, trying to act like it’s not all bad and gruesome.
He usually fails at that.
\/\/\/\/\/
It’s a dark Friday morning when they gather at the corner of the school building, Siwon bringing a few cigarettes, Donghae holding up the lighter he stole from his parents, Hyukjae taking the first drag. Zhou Mi just stands next to Hyukjae and looks at them. His expression is slightly judging, but he doesn’t say a word about it. They all know they’re doing something bad anyway.
“So what are the plans for the long weekend?” Donghae asks and he blows the cigarette smoke back out as he talks. It crinkles up into the air, becoming invisible to their eyes not long after.
They all shrug in reply to the question. There obviously are no plans.
“We could go somewhere together?” Hyukjae suggests. They pretend to think about it, but the answer is clear already. It’s always yes. What else would they do with their time?
“Hang out at the Monster?” Siwon adds like an afterthought and the other two nod in unison.
/\/\/\/\/\
“Yo, Siwon, Hae, what have you two been up to? Haven’t seen you around lately!” It’s Youngwoon who walks up to them, wraps them in manly hugs and pats their backs rather harshly. Hyukjae is ignored, but he’s used to that. In this world of back alley clubs and spotlights his friends are more famous than he is. It’s not always clear if he cares about it or not.
“Been here and there, nothing much,” Siwon replies to their friend, tough grin on his face. These are their images, the parts they need to play in the theatre that is their lives. Siwon is the tough one, the one who beats up anyone that even dares to touch them. He’s growing more and more into that image lately. “What about you, hyung? Beat up some more people lately?” He laughs, Youngwoon laughs, Donghae does too. Hyukjae stays a little in the background. Zhou Mi didn’t even bother coming.
Zhou Mi is worth even less than Hyukjae in this scenery. He does not fight people, nor does he look angry or scary. Zhou Mi is the lamb of the underground world. You can’t find anyone more innocent than him in the world they live in.
But Siwon is not the only tough one. Donghae is Siwon’s right hand, in some way of speaking. Donghae doesn’t hit people, nor does he have that tough smile, but when he stares at someone long enough, they’ll leave anyway. No one wants to get Donghae angry.
It’s not exactly the fact that Donghae looks scary when he’s angry, or that he has killed someone in the past. What scares them is that he has never been angry before in a world where being angry is the new breathing. There’s nothing to win with kindness. One has to be hard and tough to survive, is what they say.
Donghae is not at all, but only Hyukjae knows this. Not even Siwon does.
\/\/\/\/\/
“Yah you bastard, try saying that again with my fist in your face!” the tall, well-built man yells at him. Hyukjae merely looks back, eyes ever so cold. Usually he’s not the one to impress people, but there’s a certain absence of fear about him at that moment that makes his opponent hesitate. And hesitation is all it takes in the world they live in.
“I shall repeat myself; you’re a dickhead and you should stay the fuck away from my friends.” Hyukjae speaks then, voice icy, eyes still piercing into the other’s. They stand like that for a moment, before the guy who’s probably twice Hyukjae’s size relaxes and leaves.
Hyukjae calmly turns to the person he just saved then, reaching out a hand and helping the other up. “You alright?” he asks, getting a short nod in reply. The guy he saved is about half a head taller than him, doesn’t look like he’s familiar with the underground life, and smiles with so much innocence still it’s hard to think he’s lived in the same world as them for his whole life.
“You didn’t have to do that.” he speaks once he’s standing steady, voice a kind of caramel smooth with a rough edge to it. “I could’ve taken him on my own.” Hyukjae eyes the other in a scrutinising way, eyes wandering over the smooth face and unharmed skin, before he nods shortly and pulls his hand out of the gentle grip.
“Don’t get yourself in trouble again, okay? The streets are no place for people like you. You’d better stay inside the city walls.” he replies uninterestedly, turning away and walking off. But the stranger calls after him and he stops to look back.
“When I said I could’ve taken him on my own, I meant it. But thanks anyway, Hyukjae-ssi. When you need help one day, I’ll be the one to rescue you instead.” the boy speaks, pulling something out of his back pocket and throwing it at Hyukjae. It’s a pocket knife, the name ‘Kibum’ engraved in it. “Show this to someone important when you need help. People know where to find me.”
There’s a nod, a glimpse of a smirk and then Kibum turns around and walks away, disappearing into some back alley as he goes. Hyukjae is left staring after him, wondering how the hell that guy knows his real name.
/\/\/\/\/\
“Remember the days when the world was brighter?” Heechul asks one day, something lighting up his eyes, but he shakes his head to that. The elder snorts, before sighing. “Yeah.. No one does.” he speaks then, smiling and lifting a hand to ruffle his hair. “No one does..” he repeats, but the light has left his eyes again.
He watches his hyung often, sitting in the chair close to Heechul’s bed, looking at how the light flashes on his pale skin. There’s so many emotions that Heechul hides. They’re all hiding something, so it’s nothing very surprising, but to him it feels like Heechul doesn’t specifically try to hide anything, his emotions just happen to not be visible to others.
\/\/\/\/\/
One day Donghae takes a punch for Hyukjae. The fist is supposed to hit Hyukjae unconscious, but instead Donghae jumps in the way, taking it with his back and slamming into the ground. There’s a moment in which everyone stares at the boy on the ground, but then the attacker realises what he’s done and everyone runs as fast as they can.
Hyukjae crouches down in the blink of an eye, rolls his friend over and looks straight at Donghae’s bleeding nose and scraped forehead. The angle of the street light creates shadows under Donghae’s eyes that reflect how little sleep he's had over the past weeks.
Siwon rages at everyone who remains in a too close proximity with them and deals a few punches to people he knows relate to the guy who hit Donghae. Hyukjae watches it with empty eyes as he helps Donghae sit up and wipes the little pieces of gravel off of his friend’s face. He vaguely wonders if Siwon would have reacted like that too if he were the one to take the punch, but drops the idea before it can bring him pain.
When Hyukjae arrives at school the next morning, Zhou Mi’s applying disinfectant on Donghae’s forehead, while Donghae stares at the tall boy in faked annoyance, pretending to be tough. Zhou Mi makes sure he’s done before Siwon arrives.
/\/\/\/\/\
“Where were you this weekend?” Siwon demands to know and Hyukjae frowns but remains silent, because they never ask questions about the others’ whereabouts. It’s an unwritten rule. “I asked you a question.” Siwon states then, expression darkening. Hyukjae just keeps staring, until the fist comes at him seemingly out of nowhere. He darts out of reach before it can hit him, taking his hands out of his pockets to defend himself if necessary and looking at Siwon in genuine surprise.
“Since when is it any of your business what I do with my weekends?” he asks, voice cold, some of that life in his eyes that surprises Siwon. They are not used to fire and fighting spirit. People are dull, people are tired, people are just trying to end up in the lesser one of all the evils. Hyukjae is starting to look more and more like he’s willing to live and it unsettles Siwon. Donghae merely stays out of it.
Zhou Mi just stands a little aside and looks at them judgingly. He always does.
\/\/\/\/\/
“Forests were very pretty places. When I was younger my parents would take me on long walks through the forests and I’d play in the mud or chase after wild animals.”
It sounds like a fairytale to him, but Heechul is obviously lost in memories, smiling for once without that hint of regret. It makes him smile too as he runs his fingers through his hair and settles into the chair a little better. He wants to ask something more about those forests and what they looked like, but Heechul’s fallen asleep again, his breathing even.
/\/\/\/\/\
“What the hell do you think you’re doing!?” Siwon hisses, and Donghae tightens his grip on the taller man’s wrist. Siwon doesn’t even try to struggle, he just glares. Hyukjae ignores the hatred seeping out of every part of Siwon’s body. Zhou Mi stands next to them with hurt in his eyes and pleading looks that for some reason keep going to Hyukjae and not to Siwon, as if he’s more scared of what the first will do than of Siwon’s anger.
“Like I said.” Hyukjae states calmly. “I’m talking to one of my acquaintances.” He turns around again then, completely disregarding anything that might be said to him from then on as he walks back to Hangeng - probably one of Siwon’s biggest enemies in the underground scene.
The next thing they know, Siwon throws himself forward and it takes both Donghae, Zhou Mi and two of Hangeng’s friends to stop the fight that ensues. Hyukjae comes out with several bleeding wounds and a look in his eyes that speaks of nothing but disappointment. Siwon realises that whatever he has been seeing in Hyukjae’s eyes for the past weeks, has finally made it further than just his eyes. Hyukjae is no longer the gullible kid they got to know him as.
\/\/\/\/\/
Sitting in the back of a truck, they look out over a never-ending road that seems to fly by. An endless stream of asphalt and building ruins on the side. Hyukjae’s silent, arms wrapped around his knees that he pulled up against his chest. Zhou Mi’s sitting next to him, head having slouched to the side in his sleep. There’s no one else with them, no Donghae or Siwon, just the two of them.
It doesn’t take long for Zhou Mi to wake up, a bump in the road making him open his eyes in a flash. He looks around drowsily and tries to remember what he’s doing in the car. When he finally does, he stares at the passing road with empty eyes.
“Why are we here?” he asks after a moment of silence, and Hyukjae turns to look at him.
“I don’t know. I wanted to get out of there. Don’t you ever want to get out of that place? It’s all lifeless and dark.” he speaks, making Zhou Mi smile mirthlessly.
“The whole world is dark.” he says, but they both knew that already anyway. “Why did you take me along?” he adds then.
“Because you’re not.” Hyukjae smiles, something in his eyes that reminds Zhou Mi of life.
“I’m not what?” he inquires, trying to understand what his friend is talking about.
“You’re not dark, Mi, not lifeless.” Hyukjae replies then, turning to look at him and smiling still. “You’re alive and you’re hoping to make your life better than what it is now. None of us tries to do that. We just go with how things are. Smoking, drinking, fighting. You do none of that. You smile so genuinely and people call you a moron for it, but you don’t care. You just keep smiling. I don’t want you to have to live in that dark place.”
Zhou Mi hears things between the sentences that Hyukjae can’t bear to say out loud and he easily wraps an arm around the other’s shoulders, allowing Hyukjae to lean into the touch.
/\/\/\/\/\
Sometimes he asks himself if he could draw a circle on the wall and walk through it. Heechul says anything is possible as long as you believe in it. Reality says it’s a solid stone wall, you can’t walk through that, and if you do try anyway you’ll have a headache. He likes Heechul’s way of thinking more, but still abides by reality’s words, because that is what he lives in.
“Not everything comes flying into your arms.” Heechul tells him, voice having grown hoarser throughout the years they’ve known each other. “But some things do even when you don’t want them to. You can try to outrun something like that, but in the end it’ll catch up with you and you’ll be stuck with it. Life is not a playground. It has become a battlefield.”
He smiles without happiness, runs his fingertips over the armrest of his chair and tries to imagine possible scenarios for every single crack in it. Heechul says something more, but it is in that language he doesn’t understand so he doesn’t listen to it. When he looks up several moments later, Heechul is looking at him with a distant expression on his face. He understands what is being said to him without hearing any words.
\/\/\/\/\/
“Why didn’t you ask Donghae to come instead of me?” Zhou Mi asks him one day as they sit at the kitchen table eating their instant noodles. The Chinese man’s dark hair is tied into a small ponytail on the back of his head, his dark eyes peering at Hyukjae with a wisdom in them that is beyond his age. He clicks his chopsticks together in front of the other’s face when there’s no immediate response and smiles teasingly. “How often do I have to tell you no to sleep with your eyes open? Eat your food before it’s cold.”
Hyukjae blinks at that, consciously looks at his friend then, and tries to smile back. He fails awkwardly at it. “Donghae...” he speaks in a soft voice when Zhou Mi does not look away. “He cares about Siwon too much. He wouldn’t leave his hyung to go with me.” There’s a sad touch to Hyukjae’s smile, but Zhou Mi knows it’s not because Donghae doesn’t want to come along with him, but because he chooses to live in an environment he’s not made for just so he can be with the one he admires. Hyukjae regrets that Donghae can’t live like they’re doing.
/\/\/\/\/\
They start to fall into a lifestyle that feels foreign to them, yet is normal for everyone else around them. Finishing up their studies, going to school every day and coming home to either cook dinner or eat what the other has prepared. The one home first makes the food is the golden rule, except for during the weekends, when they mostly just order in. It’s a comfortable existence they have and it works out even after university when they both get a job.
It all changes halfway into their first year of work, when a dark letter is sent by mail. The name on the back is not familiar to Zhou Mi, a certain man with the surname Kim, but Hyukjae pales a little upon seeing it and refuses to even look at it. Zhou Mi is not allowed to touch it either and he doesn’t because it’s addressed to Hyukjae not him. The next day the letter disappears and Hyukjae doesn’t talk about it anymore. That weekend, Zhou Mi wakes up in the middle of the night to a crying Hyukjae on the kitchen floor.
He wraps an arm around the other, pulls the lifeless body against his and hugs it. Hyukjae’s body trembles with soundless sobs, his tears seeming unending. He cries until well past five in the morning and Zhou Mi sits with him, holds him, comforts him. When Hyukjae stops crying, he holds him a little more, until trembling fingers bring a crumbled paper into view. When it unfolds, Zhou Mi read one thing only but needs no more.
‘Lee Donghae’ it says in dark, mysterious font that speaks of endings and silence. Hyukjae doesn’t talk for a whole week and when he finally says something during dinner the next Monday, he pretends nothing happened. Zhou Mi doesn’t try to force reality onto him.
\/\/\/\/\/
They sit on the balcony one day, looking out over the streets where cars pass by occasionally. Hyukjae hums a song that sounds distantly familiar. It fills them with melancholy.
“How did you get us here?” Zhou Mi asks at some point. “Where did the truck come from that took us?”
“I got help from a friend.” Hyukjae states, staring into the distance. He’s clutching something in his hands that looks like a pocket knife with slight writing on it.
/\/\/\/\/\
“Do you think I will ever see the sun, hyung?” he asks and Heechul smiles.
“Maybe.. But you shouldn’t hope for too much.” the elder replies, always honest, never giving hope when there is nothing to hope for. He smiles as well then, nodding slightly.
“I guess so.” he replies. Heechul nods too, then closes his eyes. He’ll probably fall asleep again soon.
He looks outside the window at the sky covered in clouds and the streets filled with kids trying to pick the lesser one out of all the evils. He tells himself he tried his best for them, that there’s nothing he can do about it. Even his mind doesn’t believe him when he remembers the grave of an innocent young man who was full of life but chose to die for someone he didn’t even know.
When he looks up at Heechul, the elder is not breathing anymore. He smiles a bitter smile and gets up, pulling the blanket over Heechul’s face. He mumbles something that might or might not be a prayer and walks out of the hospital room to tell a nurse.
\/\/\/\/\/
One day the news speaks of possibilities that the sky might clear enough above their city to catch a glimpse of the sun. The next day they say the assumption was wrong. No hopes are crushed because no one bothers to hope for these things anymore.
The next week the sky does clear above their city and everyone stays inside because they’re afraid to get burned. Hyukjae goes to the park and stares at the sun all day. Zhou Mi sits next to him with an umbrella shielding him from the sunlight, watching the trees’ shadows wave on the ground. When they go home in the evening, Hyukjae sees black spots everywhere and they laugh when he walks into a street light for the third time.
It sounds foreign even to their own ears, but they do it again the fourth time as well.
[FIC] Valentine's Day
Title: Valentine's Day
Characters: Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.913
Summary: They have a house, a couch and a friendship. Zhou Mi ponders over Valentine's day.
A/N: This story is dedicated to two friends who both weren't feeling as happy last night. I wanted to cheer them up but sadly wasn't able to write this fic in 10 minutes. I finished it later on, however, and am now also posting it up here.
- - - - -
“How was work?” Kyuhyun questioned from his position on the couch, where he had flopped down after coming home himself. Some laid back variety show was playing on the television, the controller loosely clasped in his hand. When there came no reaction from the person who had just entered the dorm, he turned his body a little so he could look up at the other. Zhou Mi was standing in the hallway, taking off his shoes with a thoughtful expression on his face. When he looked up and saw Kyuhyun’s questioning expression, he blinked and seemed to realise where he was again.
“Mhmwhat?” he asked, seeming unfocused. Kyuhyun rolled his eyes as he watched Zhou Mi put his books on a chair and his bag on the shelf. It was amusing to see the confusion on his face when the redhead walked back to the chair to take something out of his backpack only to find that said bag was not there. For a moment Zhou Mi stared at his books, before turning around with a completely lost expression on his face.
“The shelf.” Kyuhyun helped out, making the redhead look at him again. “What?” Another roll of his eyes accompanied his following words. “Your bag? It’s on the shelf. Over there.” He waved his hand in the general direction of the bookshelves while keeping his eyes on Zhou Mi. “You look distracted today. Anything went wrong at tutoring?” he then continued his questioning, hoping to get a decent answer this time.
“No..” Zhou Mi immediately replied. “No, tutoring went well.” A small smile appeared on his face and he seemed to become more of the cheery person Kyuhyun was used to. “She’s really improving. We had a whole conversation about the weather today. In Chinese.” His smile was a proud one, showing how much progress his student had made, and it made Kyuhyun smile a little too. He knew how much Zhou Mi cared about his students and how well they were doing.
“So if tutoring went well, then what’s bugging you?” He put down the remote and rolled out of the couch. Once he was up on his feet, he easily made his way over to the table as well. “Anything happened in school today?” He opened his arms a little even before he reached the other. The offered hug was gladly taken by Zhou Mi, who basically glued the two of them together as he cuddled close.
“I don’t know, Kuixian.” he muttered then. “I was just thinking... It’s Valentine’s day soon. Shouldn’t we get something? Or do something special? I mean...I don’t think Haejung would appreciate it if you just let it pass, would she?” For a moment Kyuhyun stilled, but then he completely let go of the other and quickly fled back to the couch he had left moments ago.
“You’re in your Valentine mood again, aren’t you?” he questioned, voice sceptic. “I’m so not going to sit through that a second time. You figure out on your own what Mina likes and let me deal with Haejung on my own.” He turned up the volume of the television, knowing Zhou Mi would try to persuade him into coming up with Valentine plans together. “I remember how you had me light candles and spread rose petals in her room. I almost burned down her bed. Not going to do that again this year. You come up with your disasters yourself and I’ll just watch this show in peace. Hyori noona is in it today.”
“Hyori noona?” As expected that drew Zhou Mi’s attention away from the Valentine’s day topic and he quickly walked closer to peer at the screen. The next five moments were spent on discussing how she seemed to look really tired and how she needed to get more rest. Somewhere along the discussion, Zhou Mi made his way around the couch to find a spot next to Kyuhyun, who immediately propped his feet up on the other’s lap. Not ten minutes later, commercials popped up, making Kyuhyun groan in annoyance.
“I swear, these days they’re not playing commercials in between programs, but programs in between commercials.” he complained, making Zhou Mi smile over his usual grumpy self.
“Well, the people making the products need to earn money too.” he replied then, gently picking up Kyuhyun’s feet from his lap, standing up and putting them down again on the couch. “I’ll go make some tea. You want anything?” He paused a moment at the side of the couch, one hand on the back rest, eyes fixed on Kyuhyun. The latter looked up at that, sent him a soft smile and nodded. “Some tea as well, thanks.” he replied, before gluing his eyes to the television again. His hand found the remote again and he lazily zapped through the channels.
It took quite a while for Zhou Mi to return with two mugs of steaming tea, putting the plate down on the table and claiming his spot on the couch again. For that, Kyuhyun had to lift his legs of course, but after some poking and Zhou Mi threatening to just go sit on them, he grudgingly did so. They sat in silence then, both carefully sipping from their tea, looking at the currently playing commercial about diapers. There was a comfortable silence, or at least Kyuhyun thought so. But moments later Zhou Mi broke it again.
“Should I buy her some chocolates?” he suggested, making Kyuhyun almost literally facepalm. If it wasn’t for the cup of tea in his hands, he probably would have. For a moment he contemplated between ignoring the other or smacking the back of his head, but one look at Zhou Mi’s pensive pout made him change his mind. He sighed and sat up a little straighter.
“Maybe you should be original. Give her something aside from chocolates.” he suggested. “I’m going to cook something nice and invite Haejung over since you’ll be gone with Mina. If I make her dinner that will assure me her love for another year. What more do you need? It’s not like Valentine’s day is more special than all the other days you’re together. Especially you and Mina. With both of your busy schedules it’s surprising there are even any days at all that you can spend together.”
Zhou Mi chuckled at that. “It’s not because we’re less physical than you and Haejung that we don’t love each other, you know.” he countered then. “This might surprise you but...” He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Kyuhyun silenced him with a wave of his hand and a short ‘shush!’ when the show started again, the first person in view being Lee Hyori. Both their attention was focused on the screen for a moment, until it turned out that Hyori had actually left for other schedules and the focus of the rest of the show would be on other people.
“What kind of nonsense is that!” Kyuhyun immediately exclaimed. “Have you ever seen a show where the idol leaves halfway? I protest against this! We should send a protest mail to SBS or something.” Zhou Mi took another sip of his tea, before reaching out and patting Kyuhyun’s knee. “Don’t worry, Kuixian, I’m sure there’s plenty of shows online where you can watch Hyori. Just make sure Haejung doesn’t find out about all those DVDs you have of the woman or you can forget about your dinner and being loved for another year. Since when can you cook, actually?”
His hand shot up right in time to prevent a pillow from slamming in his face and he quickly put down his cup of tea to make sure it wouldn’t get damaged in the outburst of Kyuhyun’s mock anger. “I’ll let you know that I’m very good at cooking, you idiot.” the younger bit at him, frowning in obvious displeasure. Zhou Mi merely smiled back, patting the other’s knee once again. “Oh I’m sure you are, Kuixian.” he then soothed, which seemed to calm down Kyuhyun a little. “You surely are a master at the culinary art of ordering in and getting takeout.”
Zhou Mi was out of the couch and fleeing to his room before Kyuhyun had time to react to that, but a pillow flew right past him as he ducked behind the table. “You’re going to take that back before the night is over, Zhou Mi!” the younger threatened, crawling over the backrest of the couch to chase after him. They spent the next twenty minutes on chasing each other around the apartment, throwing insults like they were confetti, a wide grin on Zhou Mi’s face, an even wider one on Kyuhyun’s. After that, they both ended up on the couch again, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling.
“Maybe I should buy her one of those cute dresses.” Zhou Mi then wondered aloud. “With floral patterns, they’re very fashionable again now.” Kyuhyun groaned, rolling his eyes and taking his phone out of his pocket. Several pressed keys and some dial tones later, a cheerful voice sounded up from the other side that Zhou Mi immediately recognised, making him look at his friend in alarm.
“Mina, dear, please tell your hopelessly romantic boyfriend that you wouldn’t mind him giving you a chicken for Valentine’s day as long as he spends it with you. Because if I have to hear him suggest possibly gifts for the rest of the week, you won’t have a boyfriend to celebrate the damn day with.” Kyuhyun stated calmly, making the girl on the other side laugh amused. Zhou Mi was motioning Kyuhyun to shut the hell up, because he wanted to surprise his girlfriend for Valentine’s day, but of course the brat wasn’t listening. “Oh and I think Mimi wants me to tell you that he loves you very much but Hyori is still hotter.” he instead calmly continued.
“Kuixian, what are you doing!?” Zhou Mi exclaimed in pure horror, leaping on the other and pulling the phone out of Kyuhyun’s hand, immediately bringing it to his own ear. “That is not true, Mina!” he wildly stated. “That is not true, I swear! I’ll make it a wonderful day and I won’t share any of my ideas with that … stupid! … ever again!” Once again Mina laughed, before finally getting a word in between all their talking.
“It’s okay, sweetie, I know you’ll do your best. I’m free from six pm, so come pick me up and make the day amazing like always.” she said, the smile audible in her voice. “I have to go now, I’m teaching right now. I’ll text you later, okay? Love you!”
“Love you too.” Zhou Mi quickly replied before she could hang up. The next moment the dial tone told him his girlfriend had hung up again and he immediately turned his displeased face to Kyuhyun. The younger was grinning smugly as if he owned the world, seemingly unaware of the consequences of his actions. Zhou Mi was torn between stuffing the phone in that smug grin and scolding the other, but in the end settled for the easy way out; simply ignoring him. So he got up, took his cup of tea and calmly walked to his room. Kyuhyun let him go, feeling smug and happy he had won the discussion…
...until he realised that Zhou Mi still had his phone while Haejung had said she’d call him later that evening.
Characters: Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.913
Summary: They have a house, a couch and a friendship. Zhou Mi ponders over Valentine's day.
A/N: This story is dedicated to two friends who both weren't feeling as happy last night. I wanted to cheer them up but sadly wasn't able to write this fic in 10 minutes. I finished it later on, however, and am now also posting it up here.
- - - - -
“How was work?” Kyuhyun questioned from his position on the couch, where he had flopped down after coming home himself. Some laid back variety show was playing on the television, the controller loosely clasped in his hand. When there came no reaction from the person who had just entered the dorm, he turned his body a little so he could look up at the other. Zhou Mi was standing in the hallway, taking off his shoes with a thoughtful expression on his face. When he looked up and saw Kyuhyun’s questioning expression, he blinked and seemed to realise where he was again.
“Mhmwhat?” he asked, seeming unfocused. Kyuhyun rolled his eyes as he watched Zhou Mi put his books on a chair and his bag on the shelf. It was amusing to see the confusion on his face when the redhead walked back to the chair to take something out of his backpack only to find that said bag was not there. For a moment Zhou Mi stared at his books, before turning around with a completely lost expression on his face.
“The shelf.” Kyuhyun helped out, making the redhead look at him again. “What?” Another roll of his eyes accompanied his following words. “Your bag? It’s on the shelf. Over there.” He waved his hand in the general direction of the bookshelves while keeping his eyes on Zhou Mi. “You look distracted today. Anything went wrong at tutoring?” he then continued his questioning, hoping to get a decent answer this time.
“No..” Zhou Mi immediately replied. “No, tutoring went well.” A small smile appeared on his face and he seemed to become more of the cheery person Kyuhyun was used to. “She’s really improving. We had a whole conversation about the weather today. In Chinese.” His smile was a proud one, showing how much progress his student had made, and it made Kyuhyun smile a little too. He knew how much Zhou Mi cared about his students and how well they were doing.
“So if tutoring went well, then what’s bugging you?” He put down the remote and rolled out of the couch. Once he was up on his feet, he easily made his way over to the table as well. “Anything happened in school today?” He opened his arms a little even before he reached the other. The offered hug was gladly taken by Zhou Mi, who basically glued the two of them together as he cuddled close.
“I don’t know, Kuixian.” he muttered then. “I was just thinking... It’s Valentine’s day soon. Shouldn’t we get something? Or do something special? I mean...I don’t think Haejung would appreciate it if you just let it pass, would she?” For a moment Kyuhyun stilled, but then he completely let go of the other and quickly fled back to the couch he had left moments ago.
“You’re in your Valentine mood again, aren’t you?” he questioned, voice sceptic. “I’m so not going to sit through that a second time. You figure out on your own what Mina likes and let me deal with Haejung on my own.” He turned up the volume of the television, knowing Zhou Mi would try to persuade him into coming up with Valentine plans together. “I remember how you had me light candles and spread rose petals in her room. I almost burned down her bed. Not going to do that again this year. You come up with your disasters yourself and I’ll just watch this show in peace. Hyori noona is in it today.”
“Hyori noona?” As expected that drew Zhou Mi’s attention away from the Valentine’s day topic and he quickly walked closer to peer at the screen. The next five moments were spent on discussing how she seemed to look really tired and how she needed to get more rest. Somewhere along the discussion, Zhou Mi made his way around the couch to find a spot next to Kyuhyun, who immediately propped his feet up on the other’s lap. Not ten minutes later, commercials popped up, making Kyuhyun groan in annoyance.
“I swear, these days they’re not playing commercials in between programs, but programs in between commercials.” he complained, making Zhou Mi smile over his usual grumpy self.
“Well, the people making the products need to earn money too.” he replied then, gently picking up Kyuhyun’s feet from his lap, standing up and putting them down again on the couch. “I’ll go make some tea. You want anything?” He paused a moment at the side of the couch, one hand on the back rest, eyes fixed on Kyuhyun. The latter looked up at that, sent him a soft smile and nodded. “Some tea as well, thanks.” he replied, before gluing his eyes to the television again. His hand found the remote again and he lazily zapped through the channels.
It took quite a while for Zhou Mi to return with two mugs of steaming tea, putting the plate down on the table and claiming his spot on the couch again. For that, Kyuhyun had to lift his legs of course, but after some poking and Zhou Mi threatening to just go sit on them, he grudgingly did so. They sat in silence then, both carefully sipping from their tea, looking at the currently playing commercial about diapers. There was a comfortable silence, or at least Kyuhyun thought so. But moments later Zhou Mi broke it again.
“Should I buy her some chocolates?” he suggested, making Kyuhyun almost literally facepalm. If it wasn’t for the cup of tea in his hands, he probably would have. For a moment he contemplated between ignoring the other or smacking the back of his head, but one look at Zhou Mi’s pensive pout made him change his mind. He sighed and sat up a little straighter.
“Maybe you should be original. Give her something aside from chocolates.” he suggested. “I’m going to cook something nice and invite Haejung over since you’ll be gone with Mina. If I make her dinner that will assure me her love for another year. What more do you need? It’s not like Valentine’s day is more special than all the other days you’re together. Especially you and Mina. With both of your busy schedules it’s surprising there are even any days at all that you can spend together.”
Zhou Mi chuckled at that. “It’s not because we’re less physical than you and Haejung that we don’t love each other, you know.” he countered then. “This might surprise you but...” He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Kyuhyun silenced him with a wave of his hand and a short ‘shush!’ when the show started again, the first person in view being Lee Hyori. Both their attention was focused on the screen for a moment, until it turned out that Hyori had actually left for other schedules and the focus of the rest of the show would be on other people.
“What kind of nonsense is that!” Kyuhyun immediately exclaimed. “Have you ever seen a show where the idol leaves halfway? I protest against this! We should send a protest mail to SBS or something.” Zhou Mi took another sip of his tea, before reaching out and patting Kyuhyun’s knee. “Don’t worry, Kuixian, I’m sure there’s plenty of shows online where you can watch Hyori. Just make sure Haejung doesn’t find out about all those DVDs you have of the woman or you can forget about your dinner and being loved for another year. Since when can you cook, actually?”
His hand shot up right in time to prevent a pillow from slamming in his face and he quickly put down his cup of tea to make sure it wouldn’t get damaged in the outburst of Kyuhyun’s mock anger. “I’ll let you know that I’m very good at cooking, you idiot.” the younger bit at him, frowning in obvious displeasure. Zhou Mi merely smiled back, patting the other’s knee once again. “Oh I’m sure you are, Kuixian.” he then soothed, which seemed to calm down Kyuhyun a little. “You surely are a master at the culinary art of ordering in and getting takeout.”
Zhou Mi was out of the couch and fleeing to his room before Kyuhyun had time to react to that, but a pillow flew right past him as he ducked behind the table. “You’re going to take that back before the night is over, Zhou Mi!” the younger threatened, crawling over the backrest of the couch to chase after him. They spent the next twenty minutes on chasing each other around the apartment, throwing insults like they were confetti, a wide grin on Zhou Mi’s face, an even wider one on Kyuhyun’s. After that, they both ended up on the couch again, breathing heavily and staring at the ceiling.
“Maybe I should buy her one of those cute dresses.” Zhou Mi then wondered aloud. “With floral patterns, they’re very fashionable again now.” Kyuhyun groaned, rolling his eyes and taking his phone out of his pocket. Several pressed keys and some dial tones later, a cheerful voice sounded up from the other side that Zhou Mi immediately recognised, making him look at his friend in alarm.
“Mina, dear, please tell your hopelessly romantic boyfriend that you wouldn’t mind him giving you a chicken for Valentine’s day as long as he spends it with you. Because if I have to hear him suggest possibly gifts for the rest of the week, you won’t have a boyfriend to celebrate the damn day with.” Kyuhyun stated calmly, making the girl on the other side laugh amused. Zhou Mi was motioning Kyuhyun to shut the hell up, because he wanted to surprise his girlfriend for Valentine’s day, but of course the brat wasn’t listening. “Oh and I think Mimi wants me to tell you that he loves you very much but Hyori is still hotter.” he instead calmly continued.
“Kuixian, what are you doing!?” Zhou Mi exclaimed in pure horror, leaping on the other and pulling the phone out of Kyuhyun’s hand, immediately bringing it to his own ear. “That is not true, Mina!” he wildly stated. “That is not true, I swear! I’ll make it a wonderful day and I won’t share any of my ideas with that … stupid! … ever again!” Once again Mina laughed, before finally getting a word in between all their talking.
“It’s okay, sweetie, I know you’ll do your best. I’m free from six pm, so come pick me up and make the day amazing like always.” she said, the smile audible in her voice. “I have to go now, I’m teaching right now. I’ll text you later, okay? Love you!”
“Love you too.” Zhou Mi quickly replied before she could hang up. The next moment the dial tone told him his girlfriend had hung up again and he immediately turned his displeased face to Kyuhyun. The younger was grinning smugly as if he owned the world, seemingly unaware of the consequences of his actions. Zhou Mi was torn between stuffing the phone in that smug grin and scolding the other, but in the end settled for the easy way out; simply ignoring him. So he got up, took his cup of tea and calmly walked to his room. Kyuhyun let him go, feeling smug and happy he had won the discussion…
...until he realised that Zhou Mi still had his phone while Haejung had said she’d call him later that evening.
[FIC] Boredom
Title: Boredom
Characters: Henry, Zhou Mi
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.048
Summary: Henry is bored. as. hell.
A/N: I wrote this fic in a moment of boredom, hence the title and the genre. I really don't have any idea what other genre to give this. LoL.
I call this an adventure fic. I asked a friend for 5 words that I should use in the story and she gave me the most impossible words ever.
- - - - -
Henry sighed as he stared at the wall in front of him. He puffed up his cheeks and sat like that for a while, but no teasing finger came to poke him and make his cheeks deflate again. Another sigh as he let his face slip back into a more normal form. He was literally going crazy. There was simply nothing to do. In all the days he had lived, he had never experienced a day as boring as the one he was now trying to get through and the worst part was that he had brought it on himself.
The Super Junior group was back in Korea, he had no way of hopping by, since it would be evening by the time he would arrive there, Zhou Mi was out on a schedule to MC this or that Chinese show, Hangeng was in the middle of English class and Henry’s parents were out on some fancy dinner for their wedding anniversary.
He huffed as he silently promised himself to never leave his kids home alone to go on a wedding anniversary dinner. Instead, he would stay home and make pancakes for the whole family to enjoy that gorgeous day. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. But it still did not change his current situation. There still was nothing to do and he still was bored as hell. What to do?
He got up from the couch and wandered into the kitchen, desperate to find out something to do next. There was nothing but cupboards and cooking tools filling the kitchen and those weren’t really his most favourite items in the world. With a sigh, he opened the fridge and let his eyes wander over the contents. Butter, milk, carrots, fish, sausage, someone’s shoe, .. Nope, nothing interesting to find there either.
With a sigh, he plucked a strawberry out of the box and popped it in his mouth, before closing the fridge again. He was seriously going to go crazy. The day was so boring, he was probably going to end up running up the walls of this house he was basically locked in. It was close to being night and no one would be willing to go out anymore. Maybe he should just go by himself and find something to do. Maybe he should go clubbing. Maybe he should take a plane to Korea after all.
The normally always gentle Henry let out a cry of rage as he kicked against the wall, only to grab his foot in pain and hop around on one leg for a while after. He felt like a wild bird, suddenly being trapped in a cage. Most of all, he missed all his hyungs. When was the company going to let him get back to Korea? It wasn’t like there was anything interesting happening in China. At least when he was in Korea, he could hop by his hyungs from time to time. Here he could only hope that time would pass faster than it did.
Yet the president of the company had told him to stay in China. Just like Zhou Mi. They were both supposed to spend their free time in a productive way. Henry huffed. Curse he whoever invented free time. It was just an excuse for having nothing to do and being bored out of your wits. Like he was. Like he had been for the past few days.
Without realizing, Henry soon found himself standing at the fridge again, opening it to steal another strawberry. The total lack of interesting things in his head had made his thoughts into an anarchy. Useless nonsense swarmed around in his mind, making him want to shut down his brain or go to sleep to forget about it. But how ridiculous was it to go to bed at 10 PM? The night hadn’t even started yet..
The youngest member of Super Junior M finally snapped after spending another hour with staring at the television that showed no interesting program whatsoever. He shot up from the couch and stampeded towards the ‘office’ where the phone was nicely placed. Grabbing the thing from its holder, he jammed the buttons to form a phone number and finally pressed call so hard he had a moment of fear that the phone would break. Luckily he overrated his strength -or underrated the phone’s strength- so the thing stayed alive. There were only three dial tones before the other person picked up.
“Hello?” the voice he was expecting then asked. He immediately let out an annoyed sigh.
“Zhou Mi gege!” he exclaimed. “It’s me, Henry. Did you finish MC-ing yet?”
“Er, no. Well.. Yes and no. The recording was postponed because of the absence of another celebrity.” the reply came, a little confused. “Why? Is something wrong?”
Henry couldn’t believe his ears. So he had been bored for hours for nothing? Zhou Mi had been at home all along? He had been eating strawberries and hurting his toe with kicking walls for no reason? Did he stare the paint off the walls for hours while all this time his friend had been home? A sudden irritated feeling started to boil inside his stomach, making its way upwards.
“Henry?” Zhou Mi asked a little worried when the younger didn’t answer for a while. That’s when the irritation reached his highest point and the normally always cute and calm boy exploded.
“Yah! Zhou Mi gege! I have been bored to death for hours while all this time you were home!? And you didn’t even mind telling me about this postponing?” he cried out in rage. Zhou Mi had to hold the phone at a distance from his ear to not be deafened by the younger boy’s yelling. “I can’t believe this! Zhou Mi, if you don’t get over here right this instant I’m going to get my mother’s kimono and hang myself!”
Zhou Mi stared at his phone in wonder for a few moments, when he realised Henry had hung up on him. He was still staring like that when someone called again. A little dazed, he answered the call, only to be greeted by a loud and angry: “I said right this moment!”
Zhou Mi had never ran as fast as he did that day.
Characters: Henry, Zhou Mi
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.048
Summary: Henry is bored. as. hell.
A/N: I wrote this fic in a moment of boredom, hence the title and the genre. I really don't have any idea what other genre to give this. LoL.
I call this an adventure fic. I asked a friend for 5 words that I should use in the story and she gave me the most impossible words ever.
- - - - -
Henry sighed as he stared at the wall in front of him. He puffed up his cheeks and sat like that for a while, but no teasing finger came to poke him and make his cheeks deflate again. Another sigh as he let his face slip back into a more normal form. He was literally going crazy. There was simply nothing to do. In all the days he had lived, he had never experienced a day as boring as the one he was now trying to get through and the worst part was that he had brought it on himself.
The Super Junior group was back in Korea, he had no way of hopping by, since it would be evening by the time he would arrive there, Zhou Mi was out on a schedule to MC this or that Chinese show, Hangeng was in the middle of English class and Henry’s parents were out on some fancy dinner for their wedding anniversary.
He huffed as he silently promised himself to never leave his kids home alone to go on a wedding anniversary dinner. Instead, he would stay home and make pancakes for the whole family to enjoy that gorgeous day. Yes, that sounded like a good idea. But it still did not change his current situation. There still was nothing to do and he still was bored as hell. What to do?
He got up from the couch and wandered into the kitchen, desperate to find out something to do next. There was nothing but cupboards and cooking tools filling the kitchen and those weren’t really his most favourite items in the world. With a sigh, he opened the fridge and let his eyes wander over the contents. Butter, milk, carrots, fish, sausage, someone’s shoe, .. Nope, nothing interesting to find there either.
With a sigh, he plucked a strawberry out of the box and popped it in his mouth, before closing the fridge again. He was seriously going to go crazy. The day was so boring, he was probably going to end up running up the walls of this house he was basically locked in. It was close to being night and no one would be willing to go out anymore. Maybe he should just go by himself and find something to do. Maybe he should go clubbing. Maybe he should take a plane to Korea after all.
The normally always gentle Henry let out a cry of rage as he kicked against the wall, only to grab his foot in pain and hop around on one leg for a while after. He felt like a wild bird, suddenly being trapped in a cage. Most of all, he missed all his hyungs. When was the company going to let him get back to Korea? It wasn’t like there was anything interesting happening in China. At least when he was in Korea, he could hop by his hyungs from time to time. Here he could only hope that time would pass faster than it did.
Yet the president of the company had told him to stay in China. Just like Zhou Mi. They were both supposed to spend their free time in a productive way. Henry huffed. Curse he whoever invented free time. It was just an excuse for having nothing to do and being bored out of your wits. Like he was. Like he had been for the past few days.
Without realizing, Henry soon found himself standing at the fridge again, opening it to steal another strawberry. The total lack of interesting things in his head had made his thoughts into an anarchy. Useless nonsense swarmed around in his mind, making him want to shut down his brain or go to sleep to forget about it. But how ridiculous was it to go to bed at 10 PM? The night hadn’t even started yet..
The youngest member of Super Junior M finally snapped after spending another hour with staring at the television that showed no interesting program whatsoever. He shot up from the couch and stampeded towards the ‘office’ where the phone was nicely placed. Grabbing the thing from its holder, he jammed the buttons to form a phone number and finally pressed call so hard he had a moment of fear that the phone would break. Luckily he overrated his strength -or underrated the phone’s strength- so the thing stayed alive. There were only three dial tones before the other person picked up.
“Hello?” the voice he was expecting then asked. He immediately let out an annoyed sigh.
“Zhou Mi gege!” he exclaimed. “It’s me, Henry. Did you finish MC-ing yet?”
“Er, no. Well.. Yes and no. The recording was postponed because of the absence of another celebrity.” the reply came, a little confused. “Why? Is something wrong?”
Henry couldn’t believe his ears. So he had been bored for hours for nothing? Zhou Mi had been at home all along? He had been eating strawberries and hurting his toe with kicking walls for no reason? Did he stare the paint off the walls for hours while all this time his friend had been home? A sudden irritated feeling started to boil inside his stomach, making its way upwards.
“Henry?” Zhou Mi asked a little worried when the younger didn’t answer for a while. That’s when the irritation reached his highest point and the normally always cute and calm boy exploded.
“Yah! Zhou Mi gege! I have been bored to death for hours while all this time you were home!? And you didn’t even mind telling me about this postponing?” he cried out in rage. Zhou Mi had to hold the phone at a distance from his ear to not be deafened by the younger boy’s yelling. “I can’t believe this! Zhou Mi, if you don’t get over here right this instant I’m going to get my mother’s kimono and hang myself!”
Zhou Mi stared at his phone in wonder for a few moments, when he realised Henry had hung up on him. He was still staring like that when someone called again. A little dazed, he answered the call, only to be greeted by a loud and angry: “I said right this moment!”
Zhou Mi had never ran as fast as he did that day.
Fic Challenge - 100; Regrets [15/100]
Title: Regrets
Characters: Zhou Mi, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1.195
Summary: Zhou Mi has the perfect relationship with the perfect future...or so he thinks.
A/N: Wrote this over the span of a few days because this is what came to mind when I read the word for this fic. The title might seem to be unrelated to the story, but for me it completely fits together. Perhaps you will find your own regrets in this story? Some of the quotes about Mimi's legs came from one of my daughters, some of the scenes came from another one of my daughters. They're my big inspiration, always. <3
- - - - -
There’s no use in building houses without proper foundation. He knows that, but he started building their house anyway. He made it huge, filled with plans and the dreadful future. He created windows, doors a roof. Isolation, insulation, water pipes, electricity,.. He filled it with love and joy and smiles so that it would be wonderful to live in. But without foundations, even such a wonderful house won’t last long.
“Yah! Zhou Mi!” She cries, kicking at him half-hearted to escape his tickle attack. He laughs, she laughs, it’s warm, it’s cosy, it’s them.
A few moments later they’re resting on the blankets. He throws an arm over her and a leg too after short consideration. She laughs, pretends to get crushed and pushes at his side. Skin to skin.
“Your legs go on forever and a mile.” she tells him and he laughs in reply, because many people have commented about his legs, but not yet in such a manner.
There’s a moment of silence before she continues: “You have too much leg for one woman to handle,” and then she breaks out into giggles. He leans in to kiss those happy sounds straight from her lips.
“Where did you go?”
“Bought a cake.. Want some?”
He smiles and nods, and soon she’s spoon-feeding him the cake like he can’t eat on his own. He smears some whipped cream on her face, she draws a smiley of chocolate coating on his cheek.
That evening she wipes it off gently right before he can wash it away. “You shouldn’t just wash off happiness, you should cherish it.” She tells him.
So the next morning he draws a smiley for her on the fogged up mirror.
She’s lying on the couch, no sign of life on her face, and he wonders if he’s looking at a wax duplicate of her. But then her eyes flutter open and he smiles gently.
“I’m not feeling too well today, so I took a day off from school.” She tells him softly. He nods in understanding and decides to stay home too to take care of her.
They spend the rest of the day around the couch. He feeds her soup and she protests that he can’ miss all his classes because of her. To that he merely stuffs more soup in her mouth and decides they’re alright without him for a day.
Soon after she’s smiling again and there’s more colour on her face. He smiles too, tells her she’s prettiest when she’s sick because she always listens to him then. A pillow fight ensues, which he wins because she’s sick and he kisses her.
The next day they’re both barely healthy enough to go to school, but they do it anyway.
The sun is bright and warm on their shoulders and back. He has an arm wrapped around her shoulders, while she’s plucking pieces off her cotton candy, stuffing them into her mouth one by one and letting them melt before swallowing.
“Give me some too.” He pleads with her, but she shakes her head decidedly. He huffs, narrowing his eyes at her. “If you don’t give me some, I’ll make you do the dishes for a whole week.” He threatens and she pretends to be shocked, sticking some cotton candy on his nose. They laugh as he takes it off and eats it.
The rest of the way home is spend with giggles and laughter while they eat the rest of the cotton candy together. He does the dishes that evening because he loves her enough to do so.
“How do you see us in ten years?” He asks her when they’re catching their breath after a huge pillow fight on one of their days off. She shrugs, rolling onto her stomach and resting her chin on her hands.
“No idea. You?” She then asks. He shrugs slightly as well before he answers.
“Somewhere in a nice house with a pretty garden I can keep flowers in. Perhaps children, if you’d want them, but we’ll see that when we get there I guess? In ten years I’d like to still have you around, though.” He smiles at her and she smiles back, but something seems to be off about her smile. Yet the next moment she pushes him over with a playful grin and they start one of their tickle wars.
“I baked cupcakes.”
“Really? What kind?”
“Jam-filled.”
The next moment she has stolen one of the small cakes from the plate he put them on and happily takes a bite.
“They’re good. You never told me you could bake?” She says, surprise edged in her expression. He grins and steals the cupcake back from her to take a bite too.
“Oh yummy. I never knew I could bake.” He agrees with her and she laughs, taking another bite from the cupcake in his hand. He pushes the thing in her face so the jam smears over her face. She shrieks and then orders him to clean it off her face, so he leans in to use his tongue for that.
Time passes similarly to how butterflies wander through a garden. There’s smiles and laughter and it’s playful and joyous. Of course there’s the occasional fight when they’ve got too much piled up stress and annoyance, but they always make up by the evening and they go to bed together with his arms wrapped around her and sometimes one of his legs as well. It’s life at its best with her and he hopes it’ll never end.
Two years later she’s packing her stuff and he watches with disbelief as she takes only what really belongs to her and nothing that has ties to the both of them. There’s questions in his eyes and he refuses to let her walk out of the bedroom door before she answers them.
“You’re a great person, Zhou Mi.” She says then. He starts to think he probably doesn’t want to hear her answers after all, but he keeps listening anyway. “We had great times together and you never failed to make me feel loved. But your plans for the future are so set, so definite. They make me feel suffocated. How can you plan ten years into the future like that when nothing is certain? How are you so sure we’ll be together forever?”
“Are you not then?” He wonders and her apologetic eyes say more than words would do.
“We have nothing in common..” She admits. “I don’t know how we were able to spend such a long time together without getting bored. I’m so adventurous, wanting to see the world, but you’re fine with staying here, getting an office job and having the house, garden, children kind of future.” She smiles with regret. “There’s no common interest for us to talk about, nothing to share. I’m sorry, Zhou Mi, and thank you for loving me for so long. Please find someone who fits better with you.”
He watches her leave the apartment and is left with all the memories of her and him. As he looks around the living room, he wishes he had seen it coming sooner.
Characters: Zhou Mi, OC
Rating: PG
Wordcount: 1.195
Summary: Zhou Mi has the perfect relationship with the perfect future...or so he thinks.
A/N: Wrote this over the span of a few days because this is what came to mind when I read the word for this fic. The title might seem to be unrelated to the story, but for me it completely fits together. Perhaps you will find your own regrets in this story? Some of the quotes about Mimi's legs came from one of my daughters, some of the scenes came from another one of my daughters. They're my big inspiration, always. <3
- - - - -
There’s no use in building houses without proper foundation. He knows that, but he started building their house anyway. He made it huge, filled with plans and the dreadful future. He created windows, doors a roof. Isolation, insulation, water pipes, electricity,.. He filled it with love and joy and smiles so that it would be wonderful to live in. But without foundations, even such a wonderful house won’t last long.
“Yah! Zhou Mi!” She cries, kicking at him half-hearted to escape his tickle attack. He laughs, she laughs, it’s warm, it’s cosy, it’s them.
A few moments later they’re resting on the blankets. He throws an arm over her and a leg too after short consideration. She laughs, pretends to get crushed and pushes at his side. Skin to skin.
“Your legs go on forever and a mile.” she tells him and he laughs in reply, because many people have commented about his legs, but not yet in such a manner.
There’s a moment of silence before she continues: “You have too much leg for one woman to handle,” and then she breaks out into giggles. He leans in to kiss those happy sounds straight from her lips.
“Where did you go?”
“Bought a cake.. Want some?”
He smiles and nods, and soon she’s spoon-feeding him the cake like he can’t eat on his own. He smears some whipped cream on her face, she draws a smiley of chocolate coating on his cheek.
That evening she wipes it off gently right before he can wash it away. “You shouldn’t just wash off happiness, you should cherish it.” She tells him.
So the next morning he draws a smiley for her on the fogged up mirror.
She’s lying on the couch, no sign of life on her face, and he wonders if he’s looking at a wax duplicate of her. But then her eyes flutter open and he smiles gently.
“I’m not feeling too well today, so I took a day off from school.” She tells him softly. He nods in understanding and decides to stay home too to take care of her.
They spend the rest of the day around the couch. He feeds her soup and she protests that he can’ miss all his classes because of her. To that he merely stuffs more soup in her mouth and decides they’re alright without him for a day.
Soon after she’s smiling again and there’s more colour on her face. He smiles too, tells her she’s prettiest when she’s sick because she always listens to him then. A pillow fight ensues, which he wins because she’s sick and he kisses her.
The next day they’re both barely healthy enough to go to school, but they do it anyway.
The sun is bright and warm on their shoulders and back. He has an arm wrapped around her shoulders, while she’s plucking pieces off her cotton candy, stuffing them into her mouth one by one and letting them melt before swallowing.
“Give me some too.” He pleads with her, but she shakes her head decidedly. He huffs, narrowing his eyes at her. “If you don’t give me some, I’ll make you do the dishes for a whole week.” He threatens and she pretends to be shocked, sticking some cotton candy on his nose. They laugh as he takes it off and eats it.
The rest of the way home is spend with giggles and laughter while they eat the rest of the cotton candy together. He does the dishes that evening because he loves her enough to do so.
“How do you see us in ten years?” He asks her when they’re catching their breath after a huge pillow fight on one of their days off. She shrugs, rolling onto her stomach and resting her chin on her hands.
“No idea. You?” She then asks. He shrugs slightly as well before he answers.
“Somewhere in a nice house with a pretty garden I can keep flowers in. Perhaps children, if you’d want them, but we’ll see that when we get there I guess? In ten years I’d like to still have you around, though.” He smiles at her and she smiles back, but something seems to be off about her smile. Yet the next moment she pushes him over with a playful grin and they start one of their tickle wars.
“I baked cupcakes.”
“Really? What kind?”
“Jam-filled.”
The next moment she has stolen one of the small cakes from the plate he put them on and happily takes a bite.
“They’re good. You never told me you could bake?” She says, surprise edged in her expression. He grins and steals the cupcake back from her to take a bite too.
“Oh yummy. I never knew I could bake.” He agrees with her and she laughs, taking another bite from the cupcake in his hand. He pushes the thing in her face so the jam smears over her face. She shrieks and then orders him to clean it off her face, so he leans in to use his tongue for that.
Time passes similarly to how butterflies wander through a garden. There’s smiles and laughter and it’s playful and joyous. Of course there’s the occasional fight when they’ve got too much piled up stress and annoyance, but they always make up by the evening and they go to bed together with his arms wrapped around her and sometimes one of his legs as well. It’s life at its best with her and he hopes it’ll never end.
Two years later she’s packing her stuff and he watches with disbelief as she takes only what really belongs to her and nothing that has ties to the both of them. There’s questions in his eyes and he refuses to let her walk out of the bedroom door before she answers them.
“You’re a great person, Zhou Mi.” She says then. He starts to think he probably doesn’t want to hear her answers after all, but he keeps listening anyway. “We had great times together and you never failed to make me feel loved. But your plans for the future are so set, so definite. They make me feel suffocated. How can you plan ten years into the future like that when nothing is certain? How are you so sure we’ll be together forever?”
“Are you not then?” He wonders and her apologetic eyes say more than words would do.
“We have nothing in common..” She admits. “I don’t know how we were able to spend such a long time together without getting bored. I’m so adventurous, wanting to see the world, but you’re fine with staying here, getting an office job and having the house, garden, children kind of future.” She smiles with regret. “There’s no common interest for us to talk about, nothing to share. I’m sorry, Zhou Mi, and thank you for loving me for so long. Please find someone who fits better with you.”
He watches her leave the apartment and is left with all the memories of her and him. As he looks around the living room, he wishes he had seen it coming sooner.
[FIC] Vitasoy
Title: Vitasoy
Characters: Hangeng, Zhou Mi
Rating: G
Wordcount: 117
Summary: Zhou Mi likes Vitasoy, Hangeng thinks it sucks.
A/N: This one's pure dialogue, that's why it has so little words. I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.
- - - - -
“Hangeng gege, can I have some Vitasoy?”
“Vitasoy?”
“Yes it’s a milk drink. Soyamilk, to be more exact and..”
“I know what it is, Zhou Mi, but do you like that?”
“Yes it tastes rather nice.”
“You are weird.”
“Thanks, I get it more often.”
. - . - . - . - . - .
“God you’re drinking that again?”
“Yes.”
“What was the name again? Vi-something.. Viterbol?”
“Vitasoy.”
“Oh right, that was it.”
“Nice guess, Hangeng gege.”
“Ha-ha, very funny. But really, you like that? It tastes like.. Well like cat pee.”
“Yeah, doesn’t it taste great?”
“Completely gone crazy, you have. If I ever drink this they can send me to hell.”
“It’s rather nice, you know.”
“It tastes like cat pee.”
“You only think it does. Try one with strawberry flavour, maybe that’ll make it taste better.”
“Over my dead body.”
. - . - . - . - . - .
“Happy birthday, Zhou Mi. I got you a gift”
“Thank you Hangeng gege, but you shouldn’t have. What is it, though?”
“Open it up and you’ll see.”
“Vitasoy?”
“Strawberry flavour. Tastes better.”
Characters: Hangeng, Zhou Mi
Rating: G
Wordcount: 117
Summary: Zhou Mi likes Vitasoy, Hangeng thinks it sucks.
A/N: This one's pure dialogue, that's why it has so little words. I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless.
- - - - -
“Hangeng gege, can I have some Vitasoy?”
“Vitasoy?”
“Yes it’s a milk drink. Soyamilk, to be more exact and..”
“I know what it is, Zhou Mi, but do you like that?”
“Yes it tastes rather nice.”
“You are weird.”
“Thanks, I get it more often.”
. - . - . - . - . - .
“God you’re drinking that again?”
“Yes.”
“What was the name again? Vi-something.. Viterbol?”
“Vitasoy.”
“Oh right, that was it.”
“Nice guess, Hangeng gege.”
“Ha-ha, very funny. But really, you like that? It tastes like.. Well like cat pee.”
“Yeah, doesn’t it taste great?”
“Completely gone crazy, you have. If I ever drink this they can send me to hell.”
“It’s rather nice, you know.”
“It tastes like cat pee.”
“You only think it does. Try one with strawberry flavour, maybe that’ll make it taste better.”
“Over my dead body.”
. - . - . - . - . - .
“Happy birthday, Zhou Mi. I got you a gift”
“Thank you Hangeng gege, but you shouldn’t have. What is it, though?”
“Open it up and you’ll see.”
“Vitasoy?”
“Strawberry flavour. Tastes better.”
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