[FIC] Soulmates: Selene

Title: Soulmates: Selene
Characters: Eunhyuk, Jo Kwon, SJ, 2AM, OC
Rating: PG
Chaptercount: 22/22
Summary: One unexpected yet scheduled meeting brings with it the start of so much more.
A/N: The first story I wrote with Super Junior in it lol. I was a bit of a fan at that time and Hyukjae was the first member of Super Junior I knew. I gradually learned more about them as I wrote this story so if some things don't add up at all, don't blame me lol.

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Afreya had walked away while Selene introduced the boys to the other four. She already knew all of them, so there had been no use in staying. Besides, her attention had been attracted by something else. Or someone else, to be more exact. From the moment she had walked in and spotted Leeteuk with his T-shirt halfway over his head, the image had been stuck in her head. She hadn’t seen him for a very long time, since the Star King recording probably, and the sudden encounter had shaken up her mind. She could clearly remember Selene’s constant teasing with the fact that Leeteuk had fallen for her. She also remembered the time when she had been smitten by him. Even though those days lay far behind her, seeing him up close like that, still did something to her.

As she had walked out the door, to be able to clear out her mind, she had felt someone looking at her, but she had seen no one as she looked around. she had started her walk through the hallways, even though she had no idea where she was or how to get back. Somehow she would manage to find her way, and if not, then there were enough people walking around to ask. Slowly she started to think everything over.

Back home in Japan, she had a boyfriend waiting for her. Iku Morioka was his name. She had met him while going out during one of her free days. He had been at the same club she had gone to and at a certain moment he had started dancing with her. They had danced together for the rest of the evening. When she wanted to leave, he had walked her home and in the end they had exchanged phone numbers. Iku was two years older than her. He was a very sweet and kind guy, but he didn’t seem to know the meaning of fun. Whenever Afreya had one of her happy moods where she acted like a little kid again, he would look at her as if she was crazy and he would be ashamed to have her act like that in front of other people. That was something she didn’t like.

When she was still in the middle of thinking, she suddenly realized someone was walking beside her. A worried feeling grew in her and as she slowly looked up she feared that the face she was going to see was the one she really didn’t want to see at that moment. As her eyes wandered over Leeteuk’s smile up to his brown eyes, she felt the tiny bit of hope that it was someone else being crushed under the aching truth. Why did he have to follow her now? On this day of all times? Even though she felt more like sighing and hiding her face in her hands, she showed him a little smile. After all, the boy had done nothing wrong. Well.. Boy.. He was about seven years older than her, so maybe she shouldn’t think of him as a boy.

“Hello, Afreya-ssi.” he said, smiling back. He had such a sweet smile and those sparkling eyes..
‘Don’t think about it, girl, you have a boyfriend. His name is Iku Morioka and he might be a douche bag sometimes, but at least he doesn’t have thousands of fans willing to kill you if you so much as look at him.’ she reprimanded herself in her mind, before responding to Leeteuk’s words. “Leeteuk oppa, you should stop addressing me with ssi. I think we know each other well enough now to leave those formalities out, don’t we?”

“Ah, I guess you’re right.” he replied. Her words had made his smile brighten, something she strangely took pleasure in, yet dreaded as well. Couldn’t he just not like her? At least then she wouldn’t feel so guilty every time she looked at him. It was already bad enough that she had actually started comparing Iku to him. Of course Leeteuk won by far. As far as she was concerned, no one could win from Leeteuk.. But why did he have so damn many fans? Why did he make her worry about his fans? She shouldn’t. Because they didn’t have anything together and they wouldn’t have anything together. Not now and not e- “How have you been?”

“Fine. How about you?” she replied, without thinking about it.

“I’ve been doing well.” he said, yet she knew he wanted to say more. And indeed, after a short pause he continued. “But I missed you. It’s good to hear you have been doing well.” A smile broke through on her face. He was so predictable. Yet that was exactly what made him so cute. She sighed. Oh dear, oh dear. Why was he being like this?

“Why would you miss me? I’m nothing special. In fact, I’m a bit of a bore.” she mumbled. Totally unexpected, he grabbed her hand and pulled her through a door on their right. She let out a surprised squeak, but was too dazed to struggle against him. After he closed the door behind him, it was already too late to try and get out. She did not want to hit him to be able to get out, and he probably wouldn’t step aside if she asked him to either. He turned around to look at her.

“I don’t know how many times you want me to tell you, Afreya, or what language you want me to use. You know you’re dear to me and that I care about you a lot.” he said. “I know you don’t feel the same way about me, you might not even care about my feelings, but please just do not question them all the time.” Afreya was silenced by his words. He looked way to serious. Was way too serious. She felt something change inside of her and with sudden annoyance, she pulled her arm free from his grip.

“And why should I not?” she replied, her voice rising because of her anger. “I never asked for these feelings of yours, nor did I ask for you. In fact, I don’t want you around me at all but you keep following me around wherever I go like some crazy stalker. Can’t you just leave me alone? I have no business with your feelings, so don’t come pushing them into my face. Go bother someone who actually gives a damn about what’s going on in that stupid head of yours.” Immediately after her angry outburst she felt sorry for her words, but Leeteuk did the worst thing he could have done as he went against her.

“I never thought you would be like this.” he said, his voice sounding sad, yet angry as well. She seemed to have really hurt him with her harsh words. “I never asked for these feelings either, yet I do have them, but all you do is push me away. How do you think that is like for me? You never even gave me a chance, you simply refused me from the very beginning. I already told you. Even if you don’t feel the same, can’t you just accept my feelings and at least treat me like a friend. Because that is what I thought we were. Friends.” She wanted to answer, but he didn’t seem to be ready yet. “But I guess you don’t know what being friends really means.”

“Park. Jung. Soo.” she said, leaving a threatening pause in between every syllable. “If you think you have any right to say those things to me, you are greatly mistaken. You think you can come up to me, tell me you care about me and then simply expect me to accept it? Or I guess you expect me to bow down to the ground and worship you like all those crazy fans of yours?” Her voice had risen even more and in the end she was yelling at him. He did not stay calm under that either, of course, so his response was just as loud. Somewhere in the back of her head she remembered lots of people in the hallways, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore.

“How dare you!?” he exploded. “You can say whatever you want about me, but don’t you dare speak a word about E.L.F. You have no right to address them like that as they have never done anything wrong to you. Or have you forgotten how to show respect for others as well?” She faintly realized that this was the first time ever for her to see or hear Leeteuk being angry. That realization, however, didn’t matter to her. He had managed to trigger her anger and once started, there was no stopping it. Especially not now that he was shouting back at her.

“You think so much of your dear little fans, why don’t you go and fall in love with one of them? I’m sure the poor girl will welcome you with open arms and ‘accept your feelings’ like you so desperately want me to do.” she almost spat the words in his face, getting more and more worked up over it with every word spoken. “And why can’t you just for once listen to me and simply leave me alone for crying out loud! I really don’t feel like having this nonsensical discussion with you. Especially not in the middle of a conference hall!”

“Well I guess love really is blind.” he snapped. “Making me able to actually feel love for someone like you who obviously doesn’t have the tiniest bit of respect for other people. I thought you were someone with a good heart, but I guess I was wrong. It is strange, though, that you say these things to me, because you yourself don’t listen to others either, or you would have known why I can’t leave you alone. And you would have known that you shouldn’t insult E.L.F.”

“Why do you always start about those stupid E.L.F?” she immediately yelled back. “What did they ever do for you that you think so high of them? Did they ever comfort you when you felt bad? Did they ever hold you when you wanted to be hold? Did they ever help you when you needed help? Aren’t it your members instead of those crazy girls who are always by your side?” In the heat of their discussion, they had moved away from the door, a little more to the middle of the room. While yelling at him, she pushed his chest to get him to go away from her, but it could just as well have been a fly hitting him, for he didn’t even move an inch.

“I could ask you the same thing. Why do you always attack them? What did they ever do wrong to you?” he responded. He lifted his hands as if he wanted to grab her collar or something, but stopped the movement halfway and only clenched his fists tightly. His move made her want to hit him, but it felt like she couldn’t move.

“I’ll tell you what they did wrong to me!” she yelled back. “They exist! They live, they breathe and they freak over you! They follow over every little thing you do and want to control every darn step you take! Do you want to know why I attack them?” She gave him the fiercest look she could manage, but already her strength was leaving her, knowing that what she would say next would be the end of her protest. “Because they’re the one thing keeping me from being with you, you idiot!”

As the last words left her mouth, lots of things seemed to happen at once. The most alarming one of all, was the door handle going down and the door opening, but all her attention was taken by Leeteuk. He let his hands finish their movement after all, grabbing the fabric of her sweater and pulling her closer to him. Before she could react, his lips touched hers and he kissed her very softly and gently, as if they hadn’t just been yelling at each other. She couldn’t help closing her eyes. In a very distant land of reality, she heard the door close again, but that sound got lost in the wave of feelings that rushed through her.

When she opened her eyes again, she took a step back to be able to catch her breath. For a few moments, she simply stared blankly ahead, but then she lifted up her head and looked at him. He was looking right back at her, an expression on his face that she couldn’t really place. A little nervous, she softly bit her lower lip, making a slight smile appear on his face. He had already let go of her sweater, but now he put a hand on her shoulder to pull her closer again. She lost her balance because of the sudden pull and crashed into his chest, but he didn’t seem to care. He simply put his arms around her and hugged her tightly.

Inside she felt confused and there was a loud alarm going off in her head that chanted ‘Iku Morioka’ over and over again. She could not do this to him, nor to Leeteuk. Her breathing became faster, until it finally turned into sobbing. Immediately Leeteuk pushed her a little away from him to look at her with a worried expression. His obvious care for her only made things worse. She wiped away the tears, but there simply were more to run down her cheeks. As he leaned closer to comfort her in some way, she softly pushed him away again. That action made him realize that something wasn’t right.

“Mianhe.” she whispered, slowly releasing herself from his grip. He tried to keep her close, but she couldn’t be close to him with what she was going to say. Silently, she took a step away from him to dry her tears with the sleeve of her sweater. When she had kind of regained control over herself, she was able to look straight at him again without feeling uncomfortable. “Leeteuk-ssi.” she mumbled softly, but he seemed to flinch upon hearing those words.

“Did you not say we should drop the formal speech? Don’t we know each other well enough now?” he asked, his voice unsure and hurt. She took his hand and softly stroked the back of it with the tips of her fingers.

“I did.” she agreed. “But what I have to tell you is very serious.”

“Do you have some fatal disease?”

“What!? No. Where did you get that from?”

“I’m sorry, it’s just that.. In movie dramas that’s mostly the thing a girl tells the boy who loves her after saying those words.” His words were so innocent and random that they made her chuckle. Yet that laughter soon left her again as she thought of the words she was going to say. She stopped the movement of her fingers and gently let the palm of her hand rest on his.

“That’s not it, Jung Soo.” she finally said after a long silence. “I love you.” He wanted to do something, but she didn’t even let him move, lifting up a finger to gain his attention and to make clear that she wasn’t done talking yet. “However, I am not like Selene. I cannot live like that. I cannot do everything secretly to then once sit in front of such a huge hall full of fans and have to confess like that. I refuse to beg them to forgive and accept me, as if what I have done was wrong. I know very well how much your fans mean to you and how you wouldn’t have reached anything without them, but I will not do something like what Selene did today.”

“Afreya..” he started, but she looked up at him, thereby bringing him to silence.

“Yet I do love you.” she continued. “Like you. Feel something for you. Care about you. However you want to call it. I love you and I will wait for you. Until the day that it doesn’t matter anymore what all those girls think. I’ll wait and, if you’ll still have me then, I’ll be there for you. But not now. I cannot live like that. I’d rather be alone for the rest of my life than having to face your precious E.L.F with the confession that I am your girlfriend. I’m sorry.”

Her words were followed by a long silence. She had averted her eyes to their hands, unable to keep looking at him as he stared at her in disbelief. In her head, the alarm was still going on, still chanting the name of her boyfriend. Somehow she would have to tell him about that too, because she wanted to be completely honest to him.

“Please..” he finally said. “Please tell me you don’t mean this.”

“I cannot tell you lies.” she answered, feeling the tears form in her eyes again.

“Then promise me you will not wait.” he said, pulling her closer by her hand and touching her cheek with his fingers. “When there is someone else, do not put him aside because you’re waiting for me. I want you to be happy, not lonely because of me.”

“Oppa..” she whispered, closing her eyes a moment before looking up at him. “I have a boyfriend.” She waited for his reaction in fear, not knowing if he was going to be hurt, angry or show an unexpected reaction. He looked at her for a while, taking in the new piece of information she had given him. Finally, a little smile broke through on his face.

“That is good.” he said, smiling just for the sake of it. It was no use, because Afreya could see the smile did not reach up to his eyes. “I’m glad you have someone to be happy with. I’m glad you’re not lonely.” She immediately shook her head.

“But I still am lonely. You are on my mind all the time, not him. I earnestly tried to love him, but there is you and I cannot love two people at the same time. You don’t know for how long I have been trying to forget you. For a while I thought it worked, but now that I saw you again today, I know that was nothing more than hope.” she said. His hand was still resting in hers and she had tightened her grip a bit while talking. His smile faltered.

“You cannot give up everything just to wait for me.” he said. It was obvious that he was shocked when he realized that she had actually considered doing something like that. “I can’t leave Super Junior. I can’t leave the others behind. I can’t leave E.L.F. Even if part of me wants to, I can’t. You know that. So please don’t ruin a whole life just waiting for me.” He pulled his hand free from her grip and took a step closer to her to be able to hug her. “You have to be happy and get a husband. Have some kids, so that you can play with those who have the same age as you do in your head.”

She smiled. What else could she do upon once again getting proof that he was too caring? What else could she do upon hearing his well-meant advice? What else could she do upon being hugged by him? With a sigh, she gave in to her feelings and let herself lean into his hug some more. Unconsciously, she even put her own arms around his middle and let her body rest against his. They were about the same height, but it didn’t feel weird, even though she had always wanted someone taller than her.

“Can I ask you something?” she suddenly said, as her thoughts wandered off to that certain thing which she had wondered about for a while now. She didn’t even try to look at him while asking it, because it felt way too nice to be able to stand so close to him. He didn’t seem to have any intention of letting go of her either, so that was a well cut out deal.

“Of course.” the calm response came. There was no doubt in his voice and he had shown not a single sign of hesitation.

“Did it never bother you that I am seven years younger?”

“Six years and two hundred and fifty-eight days to be more exact.” he responded, giving her the exact amount of days like it was nothing. “It did. At first. Well, it didn’t really bother me, but it felt weird. I felt weird for liking someone so young, after always saying I wanted someone older. I even counted out the days to make it look less bad, but that didn’t really work. Then one day I simply decided that it doesn’t matter. They say love is blind, so I thought, why should it be able to count?” His words made her smile once again.

“You’re strange.”

“They say it’s my charm.”

“They say you’re an angel.”

“An angel with a strange charm.”

“Stop spending so much time with Yesung. You weirdo.” He chuckled, a sound that made her giggle, which, in its turn, made him laugh. In the end, their laughter drifted out into the hallway, creating a big contrast with the loud noise they had caused a little before.


Selene walked back the way she had come. She was dazed, to say the least, and K’Ae next to her seemed to be baffled as well. They had walked in silence for a while already, but even though she was sure she was totally going the wrong way, K’Ae did not correct her path, nor did she really care. They each kept to their own thoughts, but were probably thinking about the same thing. In a bit of a clouded state of mind, Selene turned her head to look at K’Ae.

“Well.. That was unexpected.” she mumbled as she turned her head back to look where she was going at.

“I hear you.” K’Ae replied. Selene realized she was speaking Japanese as well. Faintly she remembered Hyukjae telling her K’Ae had taught him Japanese. How long ago was it when she had given K’Ae some tips about learning other languages? She had picked it up quite quickly.

“You learned fast.” she complimented the other girl.

“Not really. I just had a lot of free time on my hands. That happens when you can’t sleep at all and have to spend lots of nights on your own, trying to keep busy. After a while, staring at sleeping people does get boring as well.” K’Ae smiled when she said that, making the surroundings seem all the more relaxed. It was strange how the ghost girl could influence a whole place just like that. Selene sighed a little.

“Ah, K’Ae, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“Is it normal that I miss him this much, even though I’m very happy right now?” she mumbled. K’Ae seemed to always know exactly what she was talking about, even though her thoughts jumped from one subject to another that didn’t really have a connection to the first.

“It is. Even now, there is a big part of my mind occupied with thoughts about Top. For me it is of course worse, because he is the only thing holding me on this world, but it is still normal for all of us. Your soul wants to reunite and for that the parts have to be close together. That’s why you miss him even now. In time you’ll get used to it and it will become less. Still, you will have to learn to combine your boyfriend and your soul mate, because neglecting Jo Kwon will mean that the ties between the two of you will be broken and you will return to earth for a second life, just like I did.”

“You came back to earth?” Selene exclaimed surprised. As she looked up, however, she saw the door of the room they were supposed to be at, so she decided to leave that question for a different time. “Let’s go for a drink one of these days and then you can tell me all about this situation.” K’Ae laughed.

“Deal.” she said, as she pushed open the door and walked in. “Hey boys!” she called out. Everyone immediately greeted her happily and Selene quickly introduced the ghost girl to her other friends and her mother. She wisely left out the ‘ghost’ part though. Hyukjae had offered everyone a drink and gave one to the two girls as well now. He gave her a subtle questioning look, that she answered by smiling and nodding reassuringly. Everyone started to have conversations amongst each other, where Hyukjae, K’Ae, Sungmin and Selene would help with the translating whenever it was needed.

At a certain point, the door of the room opened again and a few people entered. Selene looked up and smiled when she saw Afreya coming first. As she let her eyes wander to the next person, whom she expected to be Leeteuk, she let out a surprised, but happy shriek. Her father was standing in the door opening. He had looked around at all the people a little shocked, but immediately came towards her when he noticed her.

“I’m sorry I’m a little late, dear. You know how it goes. Traffic jams and that sort. I hope I didn’t miss anything?” he said with a smile, leaning closer to give her a kiss on her cheek. She put her arms around his neck and gave him a short hug.

“No you didn’t, dad.” she then responded. “But you might want to go and greet mom before she completely forgets about you. I heard her mention managers without T-shirts.” Her father burst out laughing.

“If it’s just the managers, I still have some time. We only have to worry when she starts about the head of the company.” he replied. His words made her laugh and Hyukjae, who was still standing next to her, chuckled as well.

“Dad, this is my boyfriend, Hyukjae. Hyukjae, this is my dad.” she introduced them to each other. Her father turned his attention to Hyukjae and shook the young man’s hand. They exchanged a polite smile, before greeting each other.

“Hello Hyukjae.” her father said politely.

“Hello dad.” the answer came. Again her father started laughing.

“Ah, my little Selene, I already like him. He calls me dad. You picked well.” he said, before adding: “So where are the drinks?” Laughing, she went to get her father something to drink as well. He thanked her and then went to greet her mother. Smiling happily, Selene made her way through the group of people, dragging Hyukjae along by his hand. When they reached the couch, she pushed him down on the last available spot and then went to sit on his lap. With a blissful feeling, she cuddled up against his chest and let her head rest on his shoulder.

“Saranghae.” she mumbled to him. He put his arms around her and smiled.

“Aishiteru.”