[FIC] Soulmates: K'Ae

Title: Soulmates: K'Ae
Characters: Big Bang
Rating: PG
Chaptercount: 2/6
Summary: Kim Ae Cha wakes up in a room that is not her own, with no recollection of how she got there. Soon she starts discovering things that change her perception on the world forever.
A/N: I still enjoy reading over this story by myself, because it has such a big value to me, being the first Kpop story ever written by me. Somehow the fiction in this, the genre of impossibility and the over-amount of fluff makes me happy time and time again. x3

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Hours had passed. More hours than one would ever want to count. Probably more than two days at the least. Time had become meaningless since she had no boundaries anymore. She didn’t get hungry, thirsty or tired, nor did she grow old. Time did not affect her. The only change she noticed as she dragged herself further through the country, was the increasing weakness.

It seemed that the longer she was away from them, the weaker she got. Yet, if she stayed in one place, it stagnated. Thinking about that, she had figured that being away from the guys made her weak. Yet she refused to go back, refused to become a burden to them again. Even though she kept dragging herself further away from them, it felt like she was being pulled back, no matter how hard she struggled.

Sometimes she thought about home again. How many times she had wished she could go back there. How many times she had wished she wasn’t dead, that this was all nothing but a dream. How many times reality disappointed her.

Slowly boredom, the never ending course of time and the lack of social contact, made her give up. Bit by bit she lost her will to stay away from the guys. She found herself wanting to be back with them. On times like that, she quickly jerked herself back into reality, thinking about the problems she would cause them if she would go back.

After long hours of nothingness, however, her will to stay away faded too. The moment she finally longed to be back, with all her heart, her surroundings changed and the weakness disappeared. As she looked around, she found herself in an unknown room, filled with a few beds. Three, to be more exact. In two of them, she saw sleeping forms, in the third, Ji Yong was sitting upright, with a notebook on his lap and a pen in his hand.

Her eyes wandered over the other two people again, but they were too covered up with blanket to determine who they were. She looked back at Ji Yong, unable to stop herself from smiling. In some way she had missed him. He was one of the few people who had seen her in this new life and he had been so calm about it. As if a ghost hanging around his apartment was an everyday event. Before she could stop herself, she walked towards the bed, sat down and threw her arms around him.

He froze, slowly lifted up his head and looked around, not seeing her. She let her head rest on his shoulder, closing her eyes. After so many hours of being alone, being able to hug someone seemed like the biggest miracle ever. She had never been good with loneliness, but neither had it ever struck her as hard as it did now.

“K’Ae?” Ji Yong finally whispered, after sitting there frozen for a few minutes.

Him using the name she had told them to use was somehow making her smile. She wanted to reply, but realised he wouldn’t be able to hear her. Not willing to leave him in his uncertainty too long, she softly took the pen out of his hand and started writing on the side of his notebook paper.

‘Yes, Ji Yong, it is me. Please don’t wake the others and please don’t tell them about this in the morning. I do not want them to know I am around.’

“But Seung Hyun..”

‘Not even Top oppa. I don’t want to cause another discussion amongst the five of you. I am here because I have nowhere else to go, but I do not intend to make myself noticed like I did before. I will just hang about somewhere around you guys and when I feel it is time to do so, I will talk to Top oppa myself.’

“If that’s what you really want..”

‘Yes.’

“But I can’t lie to him for you, so if he asks..”

‘Then you tell him the truth.’

“Yes.”

‘I’m not asking you to lie if he asks, just don’t talk about it until he makes you.’

“Okay.”

A silence followed that gave her the time to hug him some more.

“This is not fair. I want to hug you back.”

She chuckled when he said that. A little insecure, she took his hands and put them on her waist. As she put her arms around him again to pull him towards her, he just sat there for a while, before tightening his grip. His hands didn’t go right through her as would have been expected. He pulled her closer to him instead. She was pressed against his chest in a way that made her feel all warm inside. For a few moments she was happy she couldn’t blush.

“Can you see me?” she asked, but there came no reply. It was only later that Ji Yong spoke.

“This is weird. I am hugging air that has a girl’s shape.” She giggled, poking him as to show that she was real. He made a surprised noise, which made the shape in the bed next to his move. In no time she fled out of his arms and under the bed, because the moment he had moved, she knew that shape was Top. She didn’t know how she knew, but she did.

For a few seemingly never ending seconds, she lay under the bed. When any sign of him waking up stayed away, she sighed in relief. Slowly she glared up from under the bed, to look at Top’s sleeping face. He seemed so at peace and undisturbed, that she dared coming out from under the bed. Slowly, she sat down next to Ji Yong again. As her hand touched his arm, goose bumps appeared and she couldn’t help giggling because of it.

That’s when something in her made her look up. Her eyes met with Top’s right when he opened them. As she gasped for air and froze in place, he slowly sat up straight. His gaze wandered over the bed of his friend, trying to see what his reason was for still being awake. He ignored her as his gaze passed over her. Finally his gaze stopped on Ji Yong’s face.

“Go to sleep, Ji Yong.” he said, his low voice even deeper because of the fact he had just woken up. Ji Yong slowly nodded, letting his notebook slip on the ground, his arms going right through her as he did so. He let himself fall backwards on the mattress, thereby making her come fully in Top’s sight. They looked right at each other and she was a hundred percent sure that he saw her, but he didn’t say anything, nor did he give any sign of surprise or joy.

Something inside her wanted her to cry. Something inside her hurt because of the lack of acknowledgement. She tried to ignore it, but eventually got up anyway, not knowing why, and walked around the bed towards Top’s. As she put a hand on his cheek, he pushed it away, but she simply put it back, crouching down next to his bed as she did so. When her head was at the same height as his, their eyes about to meet, Ji Yong turned off the light and a deep black suddenly surrounded them.

As Ji Yong mumbled a goodnight, her fingers softly stroked Top’s cheek. She wondered about her own actions, not knowing what made her behave like she did and wondering most of all why it felt so absolutely natural to be close to him. After a while, Top still hadn’t said anything. She knew she wouldn’t be able to just let it all pass without saying anything, so she quickly tried to come up with a good opening line.

“Why did you come back?” his soft, slightly hoarse voice caught her by surprised. In the silence that followed, she heard Ji Yong’s breath had evened. Probably Top had been waiting for him to fall asleep before speaking.

“I can’t..stay away.” she answered eventually, having thought about that answer for a while. Her voice sounded restrained, because it was hard for her to admit that fact. “But I will be a ghost, if you want me to. I will be as invisible and unnoticed as I can be. I will leave you alone and I certainly won’t bother the others. Just please don’t make me go away, because I can’t exist if I am not close to you.”

Her voice, even though nothing more than a whisper, was clearly filled with despair. The silence that followed only made her despair grow. It gave her the feeling the words he was going to say would hurt her. That thought made her feel sick, but she suppressed the sudden urge to throw up. Giving up on a positive answer, she slowly started pulling her hand away from his cheek.

Somehow she knew that if she would be sent away by him, she would die. Not her body, of course, since that part was already dead, but the thing she was now, whatever that was, would die too. Maybe she would just disappear. Maybe it would be over. If so, then maybe being sent away would be better. She knew she wouldn’t be able to bear hearing a rejection coming from him, though.

Right before her fingertips left his cheek, his warm hand closed around hers. She felt a sudden stream of energy jolt through her, making her feel like she was glowing. When Top’s face became visible, she realised she actually WAS glowing. They looked at each other in awe for a while, not knowing what exactly was going on, but not caring either. The feeling of belonging became stronger, as the glow around her brightened.

“Tell me..” he whispered very softly so that no one else would hear. It still sounded loud and clear to her. “..what makes you think that I want you to leave?” Even though she was taken aback by the question, she managed to give him an answer quite instantly.

“The fact that I am a ghost who’s only visible by you, who can’t do anything but bother you or get you into trouble. No one knows where I came from or why I am here and I’ve pissed off your friends..”

“And what if that’s exactly what I like so much about you?”

“You are one crazy person, Top sshi.”

His little smile made the stream of energy that was still jolting through her increase, which eventually resulted into Top averting his eyes because of the bright glow she was apparently giving off. He let go of her hand, to cover his eyes, but the moment their touch ended, the glowing disappeared. As they were left in the darkness again, she couldn’t help smiling.

“Go sleep, Top sshi, you have a hard time ahead of you.” she said as she turned away from him to sit next to his bed, her back resting against the wall. As she let her head fall back too, she sighed softly. A feeling of intense relief took over. He wouldn’t send her away. Not for the time being. Maybe he would get sick of her later, but she would worry about that when it happened. At least she was safe for now.

In the time that followed, she just sat there in silence, waiting for Top to fall asleep. When his breathing finally evened and the room became so still that she was sure she would be able to hear a mouse run by, she allowed herself to think about what had happened. Her thoughts wandered over the general events in her new life, trying to figure out what was really the reason behind it all. In the end, she began thinking about every part one by one.

When she had arrived, Seung Hyun had been the only person who could see her. He had probably freaked out at first, as she had seen in Ji Yong’s memory, but after that he seemed very calm and thoughtful. Before she left, he had also said that he had an idea about why she was invisible to others, so he was obviously wondering about her situation himself. Looking at the way he had held her hand just now and how he had told her to stay, she decided he was okay with having her around.

But then there was the fact that she had become visible to Ji Yong. First he had only felt her touch, but later, after his nightmare, he had briefly seen her and in the morning she had become fully visible. Thinking back to that day, she realised that the moment he had started believing in her for Top’s sake, he had been able to feel it when she touched him. Seeing her, however, had only happened later and it had come together with hearing her as well, when she had wanted him to be able to.

Had she not said, after all, ‘I really do wish he could see me’ right before she became visible to him? She had really meant it and then it had become reality. So basically, if a person believed in her existence, he would be able to feel her touch, but he would only hear and see her if she wished it so. As long as she didn’t approve of it, they might know she was there, but they’d still go right through her. Then again, Ji Yong had hugged her before without seeing her, yet he had not gone through her.

So what had been different? He had felt her touch and had known what and who she was. She had put his hands on her waist herself, so he had also known where exactly she was. Maybe he had been able to imagine her on the right spot and hug her because of that. Maybe all it took was imagination. It seemed such a simple explanation, but that was possible, of course. It didn’t always have to be difficult.

As she thought on about the things that had happened, time passed. Her thoughts wandered to a new subject; Top. Why was he the first one to see her. And why could he see her at all times? It was rather strange that, even when she had decided she wanted to disappear from their lives, he could still see her. It seemed that her will or his belief had nothing to do with the fact that he saw her or not.

She was still in the middle of wondering about Top, when the room started to light up. Surprised, she got up and walked towards the window. The sun was rising above the horizon and soon the boys would probably start waking up. With a little sigh, she turned around and walked back to Top’s bed. She sat down on the edge, trying to find his head between all the blanket and pillow. He had really hid himself under lots of blanket. She smiled, as she finally found it.

She tried to follow the outer line of his face, over his neck, to find his shoulder. When she had traced it, she slowly shook him. There came no response, so she cupped his face with her right hand and softly wiped the hair out of his eyes. Then she bowed towards him. About halfway her movement, she froze, realising what exactly she was doing. She immediately let go of him, got up and walked over to Ji Yong’s bed.

Once she sat down there, her eyes were drawn back to Top. When he didn’t smile, he immediately seemed to look depressed or angry, but when he was asleep, he just looked at peace. The smile that didn’t seem to leave her face as she was looking at him bothered her. What made her so incredibly happy when she was around him? What was this silly attraction she felt towards him?

Her wondering was interrupted when Ji Yong started moving around in his bed, thereby making her look at him. She smiled because of his cute expression. He had his mouth half open and was smiling a little that way. The sight made her want to pinch his cheek or something, but just not to wake him, she only pushed her fingertip against his nose. That made him wrinkle his face as if something itched. She chuckled upon seeing it, quickly put a hand over her mouth and then chuckled again when she remembered he couldn’t hear it anyway.

She got up from his bed again, walking towards the door. Right when she was going to leave the room, she heard noises in the next. Just as she was about to step back, the door was swung open, going right through her. She had first watched the door coming closer, expecting it to bump into her, but when it went right through, that was even worse. She froze as someone walked straight through her.

It was only when the woman’s thoughts floated around in her own head, that she woke up from her shock. She immediately darted out the door, leaving the bedroom, to sit down on the couch. How did that just happen? She had walked into the wall before, so how did the door just go right through her? She stared at the floor around her feet, but the answer of course didn’t appear there.

“Time to wake up, boys. Get up, up, up.” a voice in the bedroom said, probably the woman who just came in. There was a lot of groaning in reply, but she couldn’t smile about it. Her head was filled with questions. Questions that had no answers. She sighed, trying to clear her head. It didn’t help the least bit. She closed her eyes, taking another deep breath.

Someone sat down next to her on the couch, causing it to dent a little. She didn’t feel like opening her eyes. No one would see her anyway. A hand touched hers in a very casual way, fingers stroking the back softly. The touch was like an electric jolt going right through her. She gasped for air, again noticing how little difference it actually made. She opened her eyes and turned her head towards the cause of that jolt.

His smile seemed to light up his whole face, giving her the first real look at the sincere happiness that he could express with his face. She could feel herself glowing again, but tried to keep it down just not to show him. She smiled back. He stroked her hand softly with his thumb and glanced her way shortly. She felt the glow get more intense, but she had no idea if others might see her that way, so she pulled her hand free and got up, the moment the woman walked in.

“You’re up so early, big Seung Hyun.” she said. “I’ve never seen you hop out of bed so fast. I almost thought someone had made pancakes without us knowing.” She laughed a bit as she said it and Top gave her a little smile, trying hard not to show his displeasure.

“I’m just full of energy today.” he said, shrugging it off.

“That’s good. I haven’t seen you like this in a long time, Seung Hyun. It’s good to see that you have your spirits back up.” The woman smiled and left the room.

K’Ae couldn’t help feeling a little distressed. She walked back to the couch and sat down next to Top again. Before she was even sitting right, his fingers touched her hand, causing a new electric current to run through her and make her glow. She felt like a little light bulb, working at a single touch of Top’s hand. That thought both made her feel insulted and happy.

“It’s really cool to see you glow.” Top mumbled, in between his teeth. She giggled softly. A few moments later, Ji Yong stumbled in the room. He walked towards the couch too, sat down right in her and put his head on Top’s shoulder. She immediately put the new piece of information in with the rest. People that didn’t see her also couldn’t see her glow.

“Hyung. I’m so tired.” he whined. Top grinned.

“You shouldn’t stay up so late next time. You know we have to practise a lot.”

She smiled and comfortingly stroked Ji Yongs head. He didn’t show a lot of his surprise, but instead looked up at Top.

“I am sitting in her again, am I not?” he asked, biting his lower lip. When Top nodded, he immediately got up and crawled over Top’s lap to the other side. With his head on Top’s left shoulder this time, he soon sank back into sleep. She and Top both looked at the tired band leader. Then, at the same time, they looked up at each other and smiled. As they turned their heads back to watch Ji Yong, the other boys started entering the room too.


Again time passed. The three days to the concert went by as if it were only one. During days, she was always by Top’s side. Sometimes she was really next to him, at other times she wandered around in the same building or even outside on the streets close to the building. During nights, she sat next to his bed, on a chair in the same room, or in the next room.

She was always thinking about things over night. Being unable to sleep created a lot of free time that she could only spend thinking. Sometimes she grabbed a book and read it, but then she had to be very careful not to have it in her hands when someone walked in. Since being that careful all the time easily got on her nerves, she often just let it be and simply sat down thinking.

It was not unusual for her to just sit and stare at Top for a long time. Her eyes wandered over his face then, taking in every little detail. Her doubts and worries disappeared for a while as her head filled with his face. How could he look so cute, yet so tough? Be so kind, yet so distant? How could he fill her head like this, yet often still feel like a stranger? It was as if her mind was possessed by him. She had no choice but to think of him day and night. He was everywhere.

With a little smile, she stroked through his hair with her fingers. He had not touched her often, but had never objected when she fiddled with his hair or when she stroked his face. She was happy he hadn’t, because it would sadden her if he rejected her. And even though she didn’t do it very often, she couldn’t help it sometimes when she got bored. At such times he would be the victim. Again this time, with the only difference that he was still asleep.

It was the day of their concert, the day that the five boys would show the best of themselves again. She had figured out that they formed a band together called Big Bang. She had heard of them in her former life, but had never really listened to them. Top’s face had been familiar to her because of the drama he had played in. She remembered watching it when she was home, only to have something to do.

Her attention was drawn to Top when he opened his eyes a little, sleepy still, but fully aware of her. She pulled her hand away, sad that she had woken him. He closed his eyes when she did that, but a few minutes later he opened them again. She smiled at him, but felt a bit guilty. He would need all the sleep he could get and he was still hours away from having to wake up for real. He smiled in reply, but the smile didn’t last long.

“Is it time to get up already?” he asked, obviously not willing to leave the bed. For no reason whatsoever. She shook her head in response to his words and smiled a little.

“You still have a long time to sleep, oppa. I’m sorry for waking you. Please enjoy the hours that you have left. I will go sit at the window.”

Before letting him react, she walked towards the window. A few minutes long she just stood there, staring outside at the starry sky. When she heard Top’s breath even again behind her, she sighed relieved and sat down against the wall. It would be a few very long hours until morning came and she would have to sit them all out. The inevitable curse of her ghost life. If only she could sneak around without having to open and close doors..


Morning came sooner than she had expected, bringing with it the sounds of the crew who came to wake up the boys. Later that day, they would have to give the full two hundred percent of themselves on the stage to live up to the expectations of the huge amount of fans. It would be a very tough day for all of them. They had all worked very hard to prepare the concert and Seungri even had a sore ankle.

She got up as the door opened, watching how the same woman from before woke up the boys. Ji Yong was the first to get out of bed, moaning and groaning as he did so. At least he moved. Yong Bae also showed signs of starting to wake up, but Top didn’t move one bit. He didn’t even react to the loud waking call. If it wasn’t for his obvious breathing, she would have thought him dead. He lay there as still as a statue.

A little smile appeared on her face when Ji Yong ran over to Top’s bed and jumped right on his hyung. That was bound to get reaction out of Top. He didn’t disappoint, opening his eyes to give his friend a killing gaze, then closing them again. Ji Yong didn’t give up that easily, though. He pinched Top’s nose and patted his cheeks.

“Wake up, hyung. It’s concert day. Time to rise and shine.” he said, with a big smile on his face. Being able to bother his hyung to get him to wake up was probably a very nice reward for getting up. When Top opened his eyes again, the deadly stare he gave his friend was even more intense than before. She was sure she would have shrunken to the size of a mouse under that gaze.

“How can I get up when you have your fat ass planted on me?” His raw, hoarse voice made a shiver run up her spine, causing her to spastically wrap her arms around herself for a moment. Upon seeing Top’s head motion, however, she let go of herself, walked towards the bed and pulled Ji Yong off of Top. Of course he didn’t expect the sudden pull from behind, so he rolled right into her arms. At that same moment, the woman walked back in.

She immediately lowered her arms, making it look as if Ji Yong fell to the ground, trying not to hurt him too much. She hit her own head against the bed in the process, but tried not to bother. That didn’t work out very well. It hurt quite a bit. On top of that, Top, who had seen it too, was looking very worried. She quickly stood up straight and walked out of the way.

“Good, you’re awake. I was afraid we would have to get out the siren again. Don’t be so wild with your dongsengs in the mornings. We need him in one piece to put a good show on that stage.” the woman said, before walking out again. Top made a face that made her chuckle. He looked up at her to smile, then got out of the bed. Meanwhile, Ji Yong got up again too, mumbling all kinds of complaints under his breath.

“She is so totally on your side.” he finally complained out loud to Top. She grinned and ran towards him to hug him. The moment her arms wrapped around his body, he turned around and hugged her back, with no doubt whatsoever about where she was. She patted his head, then let go again. His eyes didn’t find her face, so she knew he still couldn’t see her, but it felt good not to be walked through. It made her feel more real.

“Let’s go.” he said, upon turning back to Top. “Time to get dressed, have breakfast and put up a great show on that stage. We’re going to nail it today. It will be the best show ever done.”
The confidence in his voice did not reach his eyes, but she knew Ji Yong was one to doubt everything, so this was still a very confident thing to say for him. She smiled at Top as the guys walked past her, then followed.


Time passed quickly again, so it seemed only a little while later when the guys were getting the right make up on their faces and putting on the clothes for the first performance. The fans were all gathered inside the concert hall, eagerly waiting for the five guys to come out and start the great performance. The boys, of course, were all stressed out and nervous, but seemed to be really looking forward to it.

As they walked on stage to stand in the big plastic egg like thing, she sneaked past it to sit on the edge of the stage. Her place was at the right side of the stage, the left one if you looked at it from the fan’s view. She had wished with all her heart that she was invisible, but still unsure about her abilities, she spied the fans to see if anyone had noticed her. So far, no one seemed to scream in protest or point at her. A little more confident, she turned towards the stage and watched.

The lights kept flashing and showing the Big Bang sign on the curtains. Suddenly the Bart Simpson voice said something and then the curtains opened to reveal the egg. A few minutes later the song began. She had seen the playlist, so she knew it was Crazy Dog, but she had never heard of it before. It had a really cool intro, though. Even the first few tones made her want to get up and start jumping. Instead of doing that, she just nodded her head as she watched the colours on the egg thing change.

With the last note of the Crazy Dog intro, the firework shooting came and the egg opened, revealing the boys in their golden glittery outfits. As the song went on, she got a little disappointed, because it was actually very calm and the dance-effect was gone. It became more of a song you’d listen to at home. Then the chorus came and all her less positive thoughts about the song disappeared again.

As the song continued, she watched the separate band members. They all seemed very comfortable on the stage. Her attention went to Seungri. He had hurt his ankle a few days ago, but had insisted on doing the concert. He didn’t seem to have much problems with it, which pleased her. Even though the three boys still couldn’t see her nor fully believed in her, she had developed a certain liking for all of them so she didn’t like to see them in pain.

After the first song they had a little part in between where they sang a song she didn’t know at all. Then Shake It came. She found herself following Top around with her eyes, but decided not to care about it. No one saw her anyway and why would she be ashamed of watching a famous idol who was giving the best of himself on a stage? A smile appeared on her face at his ‘What’s up VIP!?’ and the little bow.

Their dances were nothing different from what she had seen in the practice room so many times before in the past three days. She did notice that Daesung’s voice was very strong, where Yong Bae’s voice was nice but less strong. Seungri sounded good, yet a little strained. Ji Yong had a very good voice as well and she had never heard him sing a wrong note before. Top’s voice.. Well that was Top’s voice. Deep and strong when he rapped, but very nice to listen to when he sang. If he ever did sing, of course.

The boys ran out on the stage, mixing in with the fans a bit. She decided to test her invisibility and got up to run after them. As far as she could see, no one noticed her. She stayed out of the way as good as possible, but did get close enough to be able to see all of them clearly. When they spread out, she ended up behind Seungri and maybe that was just his luck. As Ji Yong shouted “One, two, three, let’s go!” the firework shot out of the things again and Seungri, whose face was too close, got a lot of smoke in his eyes.

He immediately pulled away, making a wrong turn as he did so and thereby twisting his injured ankle. As he staggered back a few steps, she caught him in his fall and helped him to stand back upright. He recovered almost immediately, able to sing his ‘yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah’-part and go on with the song. When they walked back up the stage, however, she saw him jumping on one leg for a step and the pain was visible on his face in that moment.

When she walked back to her place at the right side of the stage, Top flashed her a worried look, but she smiled and waved to reassure him it was ok. He smiled back, but immediately pointed his face to the audience, making it look like he smiled at them. They all talked a bit about the concert and stuff, before the next song started; Wild Wild West. The song passed without further problems and she couldn’t help but admire Seungri for his determination.

As the song ended, the sudden darkness made her blink a few times in surprise, but soon after a spotlight revealed Seungri in a white suit, walking towards the piano. As he started playing, Dae Sung appeared too, to sing his solo song ‘Try Smiling.’ She watched him more closely and started to realise that there was actually something about him that made him look good. At first sight she had thought him more of an idiot, but now he was showing her a side she hadn’t expected.

“He’s quite the singer isn’t he?” a voice right next to her ear said. She screamed, a sound that, even if people could have heard her, was drowned by the music, and leaped away from where she sat. As she looked back, she saw a boy comfortably sitting on the edge of the stage. He looked at her with a slightly amused smile. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you that much.”

Even though the music was very loud and he was sitting a few steps away, his voice sounded as clear as if he would be sitting next to her. She let her eyes wander over him, trying to find out if she knew him or not, only to decide it was the latter. She slowly turned herself so she would face him up front and took a deep breath.

“Who are you and how did you get here?” Her gaze immediately inspected the fences around the stage, but none were pushed aside. None of the girls that stood closest to them seemed to notice him either, which would certainly be the case if he had run passed them. As her eyes met the boy’s again, his confident smile, slightly arrogant even, made her dislike him from the start.

“The same way you did.” he responded. She noticed she could still understand him clearly and he seemed to have no trouble with it either. There wasn’t even the need to raise her voice a little. This struck her as weird, but she had no idea about the how or why, so she decided to leave that matter for later and find out about him first.

“What are you?” the distrust in her voice still hadn’t faded.

“The same as you are.”

“You mean a ghost?”

“Ah, so you did already find out what you are, I hear.”

She wanted to say it hadn’t been her but Top who had brought up the idea, but his arrogant smile kept her from saying more than was needed.

“So you are a ghost too?” she proceeded her interrogation.

“Yes.”

“And you know more about this whole situation?”

“Probably. How long have you been like this?”

“About a week now.”

“So you’re a young one.. Interesting.. Who do you belong to?”

“I belong to no one but myself.”

“Of course, forgive me my choice of words. I meant who is the person that can see you?”
Hearing his question, her eyes immediately flashed towards the stage to look for Top, but it was still only Seungri and Daesung on stage, so she didn’t see him. As she looked back at the guy, his arrogant smile had vanished and he was giving her a little sympathising look instead.
“Top.” she finally said.

“I see. What else do you know about your ghost life?”

“I don’t know anything for sure, but I found out that other people can see me if they believe in my existence. I also have no need for food, drinks, rest or even breathing. Only when I get too far away from Top, I will start to feel tired and weak. At those times, if I even think about resting or going back, I will immediately go back to wherever he is.” she started to sum up the things she had found out so far.

“You seem to have thought about it a lot..” he said, sincerely impressed. She only nodded. “I can tell you more about those things and how the whole invisibility thing works, but first I’ll tell you about the reason that you are a ghost and what it means for you in the future.”
“Before you do that.. Who are you?”

“Of course, forgive me my impoliteness. My name is Kevin. I was born in America, that’s why I have this strange name and accent. I am here with my other half, Park Chan Sook, who came to watch the Big Bang concert like she always does. It’s about five years ago now since I became a ghost. When I saw you here, I realised I hadn’t seen you around the boys before so I wondered if you were new. That’s why I came up to you.”

She took in his words for a while, before answering.

“Ok. My name is Kim Ae Cha.”

“Nice to meet you, Ae Cha.”

He smiled a genuine smile as he said it, making her feel a little guilty for disliking him because of his arrogant smile. Maybe he was just a very confident person. At that moment, Top’s voice suddenly sounded through the music. She immediately looked up, surprised to notice that Yong Bae’s solo had already started. Her eyes followed Top until his part in the song was over. Then she turned back to Kevin.

“Tell me the story.”

As he began to talk, she listened, the concert noises fading to a faint noise at the edge of her hearing. Her eyes were focused on him, not even wandering off to see Top’s performance.

“When a baby is born into this world it is given a soul, so that it can become a unique person with its own thoughts and feelings. As the person grows up he will develop a unique personality and will eventually grow old and die. When that happens, that person’s soul will move on. Some say it will go to heaven, but once gone the soul won’t come back to this earth so we don’t know what really is there when life is over.

Sometimes, however, something goes wrong and a baby gets only half of a soul, while another baby gets the other half. In other words, the soul will be divided in two and shared by two different bodies. During their lives, the two people that each hold half of this soul will continue to search for one another without knowing what exactly it is that they are looking for.

It does happen that they find each other. Some souls are shared by siblings or family members, so they are together from the start. Other souls are divided over people that meet each other in the course of their life. Mostly, when that happens, these two people will fall in love, but it is also possible that they only develop a strong friendship or a relationship as it would be between family members.

A very small part of these separated souls, however, does not find their other half before one of the two dies. When that happens, the part that lived in the now dead body can’t move on from this world and is pulled back to live with its other half until that person dies too and they can reunite and move on. We are both half of a soul and your other half is right there on that stage, giving the best of himself.”

The silence in her head was deafening. The concert noises had completely disappeared it seemed and for a moment there were no thoughts in her head. Then, everything stormed back and she thought about too many things at once. Many questions rose, but as she thought about his words a little more, she found her own answers too. In the end, her eyes moved to the stage again to follow Top as he danced and sang the words to VIP.

“So what’s up with the invisibility?” she finally said, turning her face back towards Kevin to see what his answer to that question would be. She planned on gathering as much information as possible before the show was over and then she would think about it all later.

“Well, we are only souls, of course. Our bodies have died, back at home where we used to live they bury us or cremate us and mourn our deaths. We have no real substance in this world. That is why we live in what is like a different dimension. It is the same world, but yet a totally different place. Except for those we are bound to, only those who truly believe we are there will be able to look into this different dimension.”

“You mean to say that the other half of our soul is always able to see us?”

“Yes, because a soul will recognise its other half at any given time or place, even if this second half is in a different dimension.”

“I see.”

“Being in this different dimension, doesn’t only bring along invisibility, though. As we have no real substance in this world, we don’t have the usual human needs, as you noticed. It is also possible for us to walk through anything in this other dimension and we can float.”

“Wait.. Walk through anything? I ran into a wall and hit my head against a bed before, so how is that possible then?”

“The believing goes both ways. We see a wall so we believe it is there. That is how we make it real, bring it into our dimension from the real world. That’s the reason why you can touch things in this world without falling through and why you can be hurt by hitting them. Also, since we can float, when we sit on a couch, we are actually just floating right above its surface. Haven’t you noticed you don’t make dents in a pillow or a couch when you sit on it?”

“I have.. But if we bring things into our world by believing they are there, how comes people don’t feel my touch when I bump into them or something? We are in the same dimension at that point then..”

“Yes. Well for people it is different. You don’t bring them into our dimension. That is the wrong way to say it then. With people it is more like.. You believe they are there, so you unconsciously make yourself stop before going through them. It is something we do without thinking.
Apart from that, there is the fact that you feel pain when you hit someone really hard. This happens only because you know whatever you did should hurt and you create the pain yourself in your mind. In truth, there is no contact between you and the person whatsoever. That is why when you touch someone they won’t feel you and possibly go right through you even though you are trying to stop them.
When a person believes in you and therefore sees you, though, they will bring you into the real world and make it impossible for you to go through them or for them to go through you. They will give you a certain outer layer of reality for them that makes it impossible for anything to simply go through. This also affects the objects they touch, but not other people.
When a person who doesn’t see you throws an object at you, it will go right through you. If you go and pick up that object after it fell, you will still be able to pick it up because you believe in it. When a person who sees you throws an object at you, it will hit you. Objects have no belief, therefore they take over the intention of what makes them move.”

She tried to grasp everything he told her. It was so much, but as she thought about it, it all did make sense. The different dimension stuff and all. She thought about everything that had happened and got an explanation for almost everything. That’s when she remembered another detail and decided to ask more about it.

“There is something else! Ji Yong.. You know him right?”

“Yes.. If you mean G-Dragon I do.”

“Eh.. I don’t know who G-Dragon is, I mean Ji Yong who also is on stage.”

“That’s him. G-Dragon is his stage name. Like Top is Seung Hyun’s stage name.”

“I see.. Anyway, he believed in me so he could see me, but there was a little trouble with the other three so I decided to leave. When I did that I became invisible to him again. Three days later I got back and..”

“You were able to stay away for three days!?” Kevin exclaimed. He only barely kept his jaw from dropping and his expression was one of great surprise.

“Yes. It was difficult, but I didn’t want to be a burden to them or create another fight between them, so I kept convincing myself it was better to stay away. Eventually I gave in and went back. I ended up in their room. It was night. Only Ji Yong was still awake. I went to him and hugged him and he could feel me. He believed I was there, he could even hug me back, but I wasn’t visible to him. I still am not and I will only become visible again the moment I decide I want to be. Only Top can see me at all times.”

“So you mean to say that you have to want to be visible before you become visible?”

She nodded, an answer that made him hiss. Slightly surprised she backed away a bit, trying to avoid being attacked or something like that. His reaction had been something she didn’t really imagine. Why did he suddenly get so worked up over what she had just said?

“Is something wrong?” she carefully asked. Upon seeing her sudden fear he seemed to calm down a little.

“There is only one pair among us who can do that. You are able to stay away from the other one longer and you can decide whether or not you can be seen, just like you said. This has a reason, but I cannot tell you that reason, because it might trigger a lot of things that should be left alone.” he explained. She didn’t fully get it, but the serious tone in his voice made her realise that it was the truth and that she had really upset him. She decided to change the subject.

“About this being away from one another. What makes us grow weaker when we are apart?”

“We are only parts of souls, as I have already said. The only thing keeping us in this world is the other half of our soul. When we move away from them, the connection grows weaker and so do we. No one knows what happens when you stay away too long, because the will to rest always comes up at some point and when it does, you immediately return.”

She nodded upon hearing those words, adding them to the big amount of information she already had in her head. Her eyes wandered to the stage again as the sounds of her surroundings came back to her. There was a little video starting and she smiled when she saw it. It was a parody on Boys Before Flowers that they had filmed in the days of her absence. She decided to watch it and see what they had made out of it. Her eyes were drawn by Ji Yong who looked very cute.

As she watched, the things she had just heard flashed through her mind. She tried not to pay attention to them, but it was hard. The moment Top’s voice broke through, however, everything seemed to disappear from her mind and she was able to watch the entire thing without any more interference from her thoughts. When it was over, the boys came back on stage and the next song started; Fool. She turned back to Kevin, who was still sitting next to her.

“Those people that find each other in life, when one of them dies before the other one, then that part of the soul should also be wandering around till the other one dies, no?” she said, bringing up the thing that bothered her.

“No. When the souls find each other while the bodies are still alive, they are very close in the same world, so when one of the persons dies, that part of the soul will simply unite with the other part in the still living body.”

“So.. Why can’t we do that?”

“Because we already live in this different dimension. We are not in the same world as our other halves are anymore, so we can’t unite with them.”

“You said that by believing in us they bring us to the same world.”

“Yes, but they also create a layer of reality around us by doing so and that layer also prevents the two halves from uniting. That is why it’s only when the other person dies too, that the soul will be mend again and will move on.”

“I see.”

Again she fell silent, the information running through her head as she thought it over and over. She was stuck in this ghost form until Top died and there was nothing she could do about it. Maybe if she just stopped thinking and moving, in time she would maybe exist fully in this other dimension and then she might just fade away or something. Or maybe if she clung to Top very much eventually their souls would unite as one again and she would just be absorbed by him? She noticed the way her thoughts were going and decided to change the subject again.

“You say we can float?” she asked, focusing her attention on Kevin again.

“Yep.” As to prove his words, Kevin rose a few feet above the stage. She watched him in awe, realising that this was something she was supposed to be able to do as well. “But it takes a while to learn. I’d say you’re better of trying to move through objects first. Imagination is a big part of this ghost life. Some people don’t have enough fantasy to pull it off and live like a normal person. I, for one, have only recently developed this new skill of floating. It is pretty hard.”

“Okay then. So how do I move through things?”

“Like I said, when you touch something, that is simply because you believe it is there and therefore bring it into your own dimension. All you have to do to walk through it is just believe you can. Imagine there is nothing around you and just walk, because in our dimension there actually is nothing but us.”

She thought about his words for a while, before looking at the stage beneath her. Right when she was about to imagine it was gone, she realised she would just fall through then, so that might not be such a good idea. Therefore, she got up and jumped off the stage. She walked towards the fences and stared at them for a while, trying to imagine the fact that there was nothing. For a first try, she decided to close her eyes. Not seeing the fences would make it easier.

As she walked forward, imagining there was nothing in front of her, she actually did simply walk through everything. She opened her eyes, trying her best to maintain the belief that there was nothing around her, even though she could now see the fences. She turned around and walked back to Kevin, experiencing no trouble whatsoever with walking through the fences. When she reached him again, she gave him a proud smile. He smiled back.

“You’re a natural!” he said, grinning a little.

She couldn’t help feeling even more proud. Her attention was drawn away from him, however, when she noticed Top’s solo song was starting. As she had done a few times before, she completely averted her attention from Kevin to watch Top. At first it was still dark and only his voice was to be heard. There was a sad tone in it and he sounded like he could cry at any moment. Then, as the music started, a single spotlight lit up, focused on him.

He was sitting on the stage, his legs pulled up against his chest, arms wrapped around his knees, face hidden in his arms. There was a huge part of her that wanted to run to him and hug him, make him feel better, but the still sane part of her mind, realised it was just an act and all part of his song. It still surprised her how good he was at putting emotions in his expressions, no matter if it was by the tone of his voice or by how he moved his body. As he sat there, music playing, he showed great signs of trouble and sadness.

After a while, he got up, grabbing the baseball bat next to him and staggering over the stage towards the phone cell in the middle. He literally dragged his feet further. Her eyes followed him, followed his every single move. His voice sounded as he entered the phone cell to take the phone. The moment he threw it back down to sing along showed a more serious side of him with the sadness gone a bit, but that lasted only till he smashed the glass with his baseball bat.

She gasped for air as the crowd cheered, then followed him running back on stage and crashing to the ground. Her heart almost couldn’t bear the sound of his singing, the sadness in it too convincing to ignore. As the song went on, she felt tears forming in her eyes, not stopped by the sober part of her that was telling her it was all just an act. There was so much hurt in his words, only growing stronger when she also listened to the meaning of the song. His act was too convincing for her to bear.

As the girl’s part ended and only the red spotlight shone on his face, she became aware of Kevin’s arms around her, trying to bring her a little bit of comfort. Her world seemed to have crumbled down to that boy on the stage that looked very miserable. He ended the song with the last words and left stage, but not even the happy cheering of the fans was able to pull her out of the misery she seemed to feel so strongly.

Suddenly she pulled free from Kevin’s arms and got up. She ran towards the end of the stage where Top had left it. He was getting the clothes for his next performance, but she had no idea where he was, so she waited at the side of the stage for him to come back. Her throat seemed to tighten and she wasn’t sure if she would be able to speak even if she wanted to. Her whole body felt lifeless and broken.

When Top still didn’t show up after a while, she realised it was the part where he didn’t have to be on stage for two songs. Not able to be alone any longer, she started walking towards the dressing rooms, flawlessly finding her way towards him, as if they were bound together by a small thread that she only had to follow to get to him. The moment he saw her, he excused himself and walked out of the room, leaving the staff and crew behind.

“What’s wrong?” he immediately asked as they walked into the dark next to the stage. As expected, she was unable to say anything, so she just threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around him, clinging to his body as if it was the only thing keeping her from being dragged away by a strong current. He was surprised by her sudden action at first, but not long after he put his arms around her too, obviously a little unsure about the whole situation.

“Ssh, K’Ae, it’s okay..” he mumbled, softly stroking her back.

“You seemed so sad.” she said, choking on the words as she tried to get them out. “It hurt so much to see you like that.”

“It was just an act, K’Ae.” he immediately replied. He sounded a little thrown over by her words.

“I know, but still.. I don’t even know why it hurts so bad. If I could cry I would be doing it right now, but that just doesn’t make sense. You are so good at acting. The whole concert is going great. I am really freaking out at the moment. Is Seungri feeling alright?” The moment she got herself to talk, words kept coming out like a waterfall and she said the first things that came to mind. It was only when Top put two fingers over her mouth that she shut up.

“I’m fine.” he said, his husky voice almost immediately calming her down. “Seungri is off to the hospital. He fainted. Apart from that everyone is fine and things are going great.” He was still stroking her back, pulling her to him with one arm. She didn’t notice she had been trembling, but she did notice when it stopped, since that was at about the same time as he slowly let go of her.

Feeling his uncomfortable twist as he pulled away, she let go of him too, not wanting to burden him with anything at this time in the concert. He smiled at her a little unsure, immediately lifting her spirits as he did so, and she smiled back. That seemed to reassure him she was okay again, so his smile brightened. She couldn’t help smiling wider as well, noticing that she mimicked his every emotion. That probably had something to do with him being the second half of her soul or something. Which reminded her..

“I met another ghost. He came to sit with me and we started talking.” she said.

“Really? So that was what you were doing.. What did you talk about?”

“He told me some things about this ghost life and all. I’ll tell you all about it later. You’d better go back now, they might start worrying about you when you stay away too long. I’m sorry for bothering you in the middle of the concert. You’re doing really great. Keep up the great show. Good luck.”

She walked away before he could stop her, faintly wondering how much of a fool she must have looked like to him. She couldn’t say that she really cared. As she reached Kevin again, she felt a little shame rise in her. Maybe she did act a little over the top.. But then again, the hurt had been so real that she really needed to see Top to make sure he was alright. She smiled as she sat down, showing Kevin that everything was alright again. Upon seeing that, he smiled back, nodding a little.

She was sitting next to him again now, but as she had nothing to ask him, she focused her attention on the stage. Ji Yong’s solo was about to start and there was a little video playing as to introduce it. She watched the little video, smiling a little as she saw his painted face. The lights once again were all dimmed before a single spotlight lit up Ji Yong. She watched him throughout his whole song, just as she had watched Top. Even though his song didn’t make her feel as bad, she did as well feel the hurt he put in his performance.

Her eyes wandered over him throughout the song. He moved with a certainty that amazed her seeing his age and the humongous amount of people that were present. When he did something it wasn’t always planned, but it was done flawlessly. He was obviously born for the stage and the fans loved him. She didn’t notice her own smile or the way she moved along with the music, even mouthing some of the words from time to time. Kevin did, though, and so did the dark shape that was watching her from the shadows next to the stage who backed away deeper as the song came to an end.

Soon after the song, she lost her interest in the concert again and turned back to Kevin. He smiled at her as she did so, making it obvious that he had been focusing on her. She smiled back, before reaching out a hand towards him to shake his hand. As he took her hand in his, she felt a sudden cautiousness rising up in her.

“I want to thank you or everything you told me.” she said, not showing the discomfort she really felt. “This has all been very helpful to understand my current situation a little better. I hope that we can stay in touch or something, because I’m sure I will have more questions coming up later. And it would be really nice to have someone to talk to who is in the same situation I am.”

“Of course. It has been my pleasure. If you want to talk to me, you just have to get far enough away from Top and then simply think of me and that you want to be beside me. That will have the same effect as wanting to go back to him does, only this way you will move to my side.” Kevin replied as he let go of her hand again, smiling still. She nodded and expressed her gratitude again. He told her not to worry about it and to enjoy the rest of the show. She wished him the same, after which he left.

The concert became totally uninteresting after that, so she got up as well and walked towards the dressing room again. When she entered the shadows next to the stage, a hand grabbed her wrist and she couldn’t help letting out a surprised noise. Before she could ask or do anything, two hands cupped her face and merely seconds later two lips touched hers in a very soft and gentle way.

She stood there frozen for a few moments, not knowing what was going on. Part of her wanted to kiss back, another part wanted to pull away and slap whoever was kissing her. As those two options flashed through her mind, she suddenly realised it was Top. For some reason that made the second option even more attractive. In the end, about 5 seconds after his lips touched hers, she put her arms around his neck and bit his lower lip. He jerked his head away, but she moved along, bringing her face next to his ear.

“Next time you scare me like that, you’re dead.” Her voice was soft, soft enough to make her threat sound all the more dangerous. For a moment Top didn’t seem to know what to respond to that, so she let go. “Go do your last two songs.”

Before she could move away, he softly got hold of her wrist again, in a much more gentle way than before. There was no grabbing involved this time. That was the only reason she didn’t pull free and leave anyway, but stayed to listen to him. Her eyes tried to find him and, even though it was dark as hell, locked with his. He gave off the impression of being insecure and a little afraid of her reaction as well.

“I’m sorry.” His deep voice made a shiver run through her, causing her to tense her whole body so she wouldn’t make any spastic movements. Top seemed to think her tension as a bad sign, because he slowly let go of her wrist and took a step backwards. She again followed that movement, taking a step forward to stay just as close to him, not letting the doubtful eye contact be broken. She then put a hand where she thought his cheek was, surprised to find it was the right place.

“It’s okay.” she slowly said, trying to make her voice sound as if it indeed was okay. “Just don’t do it a second time. Not like that.”

“I’m not really sure why I did it to begin with. I just.. couldn’t help myself.”

If it had been any other person saying that, she would have laughed out loud because of the stupid excuse, but she knew Top was being honest. She stroked his cheek with her thumb and smiled a little.

“I’ll see you in a bit. I’m going to see if Seungri is okay.” She closed her eyes, deciding she would try out Kevin’s tip. As she pictured Seungri in her mind, she pictured herself next to him and tried her best to really want to be there.

“What? But Seungri is..”

She did hear Top’s first words, but he was cut off mid sentence. When she opened her eyes, she found herself in a typical hospital room. There was only one bed in the room. Seungri lay on it, his eyes closed, his face pale. She immediately walked closer and sat down on the chair next to the bed. Upon inspecting his surroundings she saw he was hooked to a cardio meter and one of those little bags with some transparent fluid in it.

Seeing him lying in the bed in his current state made her feel sympathy for the youngest. She softly stroked his forehead, feeling the heat he was radiating. As she went on stroking his hair in a comforting gesture, he seemed to regain consciousness. She immediately wished for him to be able to see her. As he opened his eyes, he seemed to look around for the owner of the hand. His eyes soon locked on her, making it clear that he could see her.

He tried to speak, but there was no sound coming from his lips. She immediately put her fingers over his mouth and smiled. He managed to smile back. Without saying anything she continued stroking his hair. He closed his eyes again, only to reopen them after a while. Again he tried to talk, again she silenced him with the gesture, but she did start talking.

“It’s okay, oppa.” she said softly. “I don’t know if you remember me, but I’m the girl Top has been talking about.” Seungri nodded when she said that, showing that he did remember her. “I came to you because your hyungs are unable to be here. If you mind I will go away again, but I thought you might like some company, even though I’m not very real.”

“I’m not your oppa.” he said, putting all his energy in those few words. She was surprised that that was what he seemed to think the most important thing to say, but couldn’t help smiling upon hearing it.

“How old are you then?” she asked, still smiling.

“Seventeen.”

“Oh.. I see. Then you indeed are not my oppa.” She stroked the hair out of his face and let her hand rest on his forehead. “You’re burning. Sleep some more, Seungri goon. If you don’t get enough sleep you won’t be able to do the next concert either.” As she pulled away her hand he followed it with his head, so she put it back. A satisfied smile appeared on his face and he soon sank away into sleep again.