[FIC] Soulmates: K'Ae

Title: Soulmates: K'Ae
Characters: Big Bang
Rating: PG
Chaptercount: 5/6
Summary: Kim Ae Cha wakes up in a room that is not her own, with no recollection of how she got there. Soon she starts discovering things that change her perception on the world forever.
A/N: Chapter five is actually very short compared to the others, but at least it fits in one post then. Heh. It's the second to last chapter already. K'Ae is only 77 pages long in word, really.. But I loved writing this story. ^.^

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As had happened so many times before, time seemed to fly by now that she was back with the boys. Weeks followed each other like there was barely any time passing. She blended back into this style of life without difficulties. About a month after leaving, she went to visit her parents again. They were happy to see her, holding almost no sadness over her leaving anymore. To them, they said, it was like she had simply moved out.

She had left her parents after a visit of a few hours, not promising them anything about when she would be back. She simply had no idea. The reason she had visited them had been boredom to begin with, but she had wisely kept that from them. How did you tell your parents that they had become boring and dull to you? She couldn’t do that. Her mother had given her other half as the reason she didn’t visit earlier and she had not opposed. It was better to have them believe that.

In the weeks she spent with the boys, she became even more close with all of them, hugging them very often or just sitting close together or whatever. The only person she hardly even spent a single moment alone with was Top. Whenever they happened to be together in the same room, they would smile at each other and then she would leave as soon as possible. It was awkward to be with him, because often she just wanted to hug him as well, but she had to hold back.

The more she and Top grew apart so to speak, the more she and Ji Yong became close. It was not like Ji Yong was replacing Top, because of course no one could be the second part of her soul, but he proved to be a very good friend for her. Someone she could rely on, someone she could find comfort with, someone she could hug at any possible moment without being looked at weirdly,.. Basically he became someone she would do anything for.

Not that she immediately forgot all about Top. In her heart he still had a solid place and being so close to Ji Yong still felt like betrayal sometimes. When she spoke to the latter about it, however, he had simply told her to ignore him and go spend time with Top again. Of course she couldn’t do that, seeing that Top was the one who had wished for the distance and she was unable to go against his wishes, but seeing Ji Yong’s genuine love and care for his friend had touched her.

So she still spent almost every night in his arms, surrounded by his smell. She would pass through the otherwise lonely times by listening to his heartbeat or his breathing while thinking over the events of the day. Not only did it keep her calm, it also helped him by keeping away the nightmares that had used to haunt him almost every night. She couldn’t help thinking how less close she had been with Top, but then always remembered they never got a chance to be close.

Even though she had thought it impossible, as weeks passed and she spent lots of time with Ji Yong, she felt him slowly taking over the place Top had in her heart. Not fully, of course, but the more she hugged him and the more he came to her when he had had a rough day, the more she felt her love grow. The first time he had cried in her arms, she had comforted him with all her heart, but as she had done so, she had felt another string keeping her to Top break.

Getting that feeling yet another time did make her slightly worried about it. She wasn’t as convinced anymore that it was just her imagination. The idea of the strings keeping her bound to Top felt very real, as if she would have been able to grasp the thin threads if she could have seen them, yet she did not talk to anyone about it. She simply decided to wait and see what would happen eventually.

In July, the boys brought out another mini album called Stand Up that featured another one of their hits called Haru Haru and a very catchy song called Oh My Friend for which they had cooperated with No Brain. The Stand Up-tour again was lots of hectic travelling, but she didn’t mind. Even though she didn’t watch the concerts anymore, she still was around. She often just walked around outside the concert halls or stayed at the hotel.

July passed as well, bringing August and thereby her birthday on the fifth. Even though she hadn’t really thought about it, a visit of her aunt one day earlier made her realize it again. That also brought it to the attention of the boys, who all asked surprised questions and told her they would of course secretly celebrate her birthday. In the end, she also found out that Ji Yong’s birthday was in August as well, the eighteenth to be more exact.

So the next day, they celebrated her birthday. All the boys gave her a small present, nothing material because she couldn’t do anything with that being a ghost, but they all did something for her. Yong Bae, for example, danced for her. At first she had thought it quite strange, but when the dance evolved, he pulled her into it and she ended up slowing with him. Even though she had known him the least, she couldn’t help being touched by his present.

Daesung, however, had used the night to fully rewrite the song Ji Yong had written for him not very long ago. He made a ‘Look at me, Kiki’ version out of ‘Look at me, Gwisun’ complete with the first verse and two times the chorus. He even parodied Yong Bae’s sort of break-dance moves with some of his own dance moves blended into it. He made sure that she laughed from beginning to end. In fact they all did.

“Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki, Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki
Nalbwa nalbwa jigeum dangjang nalbwayo
Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki, Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki
Nalbwa nalbwa nalbwayo
Mother, sister, baby, what should I call you?
Are you sitting on my hyung’s lap again?
I thought you loved me, but you only look at him
Oh darling please give me some attention too
My tears are flowing, flowing, flowing
My heart is pounding, pounding, pounding
I am here for you, but you don’t want me
I guess I have no choice but to go and hug Seungri
Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki, Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki
Nalbwa nalbwa jigeum dangjang nalbwayo
Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki, Nalbwa nalbwa Kiki
Nalbwa nalbwa nalbwayo.”

To even make it more real, he ended by pointing right at her with a serious face and shouting ‘Kiki nuna!’ She hid her face in her hands, blushing because he had actually put an effort into rewriting one of his songs just for her. She clapped, trying to say something but unable because of the smile on her face. Daesung bowed a few times, taking the praise. Without caring about a thing, she jumped up and ran to him, wrapping her arms around his neck as she crashed into him.

She lifted herself off the ground, wrapping her legs around him as well, but meanwhile floating so he wouldn’t have to carry all her weight. He wrapped his arms around her middle, pulling her close before swirling around in circles. She shrieked happily, which in the end became happy laughter. When he put her back on her feet, she kissed him on his cheek, only to hug him yet again after that.

“Oh I loved it, Daedae, I really loved it. Thank you so much.” she exclaimed as she let go of him. She was unable to stop smiling or even to try smiling a little less brightly. When she turned around, she saw Top stepping forward, making her realize that he would also give her a present. She had no idea what he was going to give her, as they had hardly talked over the past months. Before he could approach her, however, Seungri ran up to her first.

“Now my present!” he said, almost bouncing up and down like an excited little kid. She laughed and hugged him before he could give her anything.

“Oh Riri, seeing you like this is a great present already.” she said, ruffling through his hair and pinching his cheek. “You should not get any cuter or I might eat you up.” As she said that, he got out his cutest face and made a peace-sign to accompany it. Without noticing, she made a soft, adoring sound and tilted her head a little to the left. “Cute.” she then blurted out.

“Nuna is being too kind.” Seungri seemed to get a little shy, but of course he had to ruin it again only seconds later. “I am kind of cute, though, yes.” She laughed, gave him a soft hit on the shoulder and then took a step back. As she eyed him expectantly, he smiled and shrugged a little, immediately losing the self-confidence again.

“I don’t really have a present that you can use, because I don’t want to copy my hyungs and sing or dance for you, but I hope you will like it anyway.” he said, mumbling a little at the end as he started getting something out of his sleeve. She watched it, seeing it had a nice colour, but unable to make anything out of it. As he pulled, he almost had to spread his arms to get it out fully. She then noticed it was a scarf.

As he handed it over to her, he smiled a little shyly. She took the blue fabric from him, feeling its softness. Letting her eyes wander over the texture of the obviously well made piece of clothing, she noticed it was flawlessly made. She could find no irregularities in the pattern, deciding that it was probably made with use of a machine. Right at that moment, Seungri spoke again, contradicting her theory.

“I made it myself.” He smiled when she looked up at him in amazement.

“You made it yourself?” she repeated his words astonished, making a question out of it. He nodded and snickered because of her obvious disbelief.

“One of our nuna’s helped me at first, because I had no idea how to knit, but once I got the hang of it, I finished it myself.” he then said. He was doing his best to hide his own pride about it, but she found it only normal to be proud of something like that.

“You made this in one night?” It was almost unbelievable that he had, seeing that knitting took an incredible amount of time if you wanted to do it good.

“No. Of course not. I started a very long time ago, to have something to do when I was bored, but I hadn’t worked on it in a long time. I had about three fourth of it. So yesterday, I finished the last part.” he explained. “I was surprised how easy it was to remember how to do it.” She finally tore her eyes away from the scarf to look at him.

“It’s wonderful, Riri. Thank you so much. You did a great job.” she said, immediately wrapping the thing around her neck before reaching out to hug him. He answered the hug, smiling proudly because of her compliment. “It’s too bad I can’t wear it all the time, but I will keep it in a place where I can always find it.” As she said that, she imagined wearing the scarf, making it appear around her neck while she was still holding it in her hand as well.

Seungri eyed it and his face seemed to brighten up. She smiled upon seeing that, meanwhile folding the scarf and holding it close to her. When Seungri backed away again to let the next person give her his gift, her attention was drawn to Ji Yong, who walked to Top’s side and put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. They approached her together. Before she even had the time to be surprised about that, all five of them started singing the happy birthday song.

She immediately hid her face behind the scarf, outrageously blushing and unable to stop herself from giggling. She felt a hand softly touch her shoulder and two arms hugging her. The embrace was a very familiar one and she could feel it was Ji Yong. As she wrapped her arms around him as well, he stroked her back and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She smiled, but wasn’t ready to let go of him just yet. He held on a little longer than needed as well.

“Happy birthday, Kiki.” he whispered, before taking a step back. Because she followed him with her eyes, the next touch came unexpected. It felt like a strong electric current jolted through her, almost knocking her senseless. Her legs slightly trembled and felt very unstable, as if they would lose their ability to carry her weight any moment. Luckily the touch was not just a touch. She was pulled into a hug, instinctively knowing this person was Top.

With her arms caught in between their two bodies, and her head resting against his shoulder, she felt her whole body relax, almost going limp. Luckily his hug was quite tight, so he was basically holding her upright. She breathed in his smell and closed her eyes, cherishing the immediate familiarity of hugging him after such a long time of not being able to. It felt like suddenly being able to breathe freely after having had trouble to do so.

“Happy birthday, K’Ae.” he mumbled to her. She felt his grip on her loosen, which almost made her panic. Without consciously thinking it over, she buried her fingers in the fabric of his T-shirt, pulling him closer to her so he wouldn’t step away. She was unable to say anything, so she just hoped he got the hint. There was a short moment in which nothing happened, before he softly stroked her hair with one hand, tightening his grip again with his other arm.

“Ji Yong and I both have a present you can decide about.” he then said, his voice rising to a normal level again. She decided she had to look up at Ji Yong, because he seemed to be involved as well now, so she did. When she noticed she wasn’t glowing, she felt a strange fear take hold of her. The broken strings came to her mind and she immediately rushed through the possibilities of what they could mean after all. When she saw Ji Yong’s smile, however, her worries disappeared.

“That’s right.” he said. “We will both do one thing for you. One of us will grant you a wish, the other one will go visit a place with you where you always wanted to be. Sadly this place cannot be too far away, because we have to be able to get there in one day due to our busy schedule. You can choose yourself which of us will do which thing.”

She let the words sink into her mind for a while, realizing what exactly these gifts meant. They would grant her any wish she would make and go to any place she wanted to go to with her. A thing that was hard to accomplish seeing they indeed had a very, very busy schedule for the next months. Her eyes were still pointed at Ji Yong, but it was only when he moved that she became aware of her surroundings again.

“This..” she started, stopping again to formulate a normal sentence. “This is too much. I can’t pull one of you away to go somewhere with me now that your schedule is so busy. It would be a major risk for you as well because fans might see you or whatever. I can’t do that. That’s too much you want to give me.” She shook her head, letting go of Top as she did so. She took a step away from him, her thoughts confusing her even more.

Somehow what bothered her most was that the moment Ji Yong had said one of them would grant her a wish, she had immediately known which wish she wanted to be granted and by who. And that wish of hers had shocked her, yet on the other hand she knew it was what she had been wanting for a while. Her eyes wandered from Ji Yong to Top and back, while she still shook her head, to show her disagreement.

“Don’t worry, Kiki. We have thought about all that as well. We’ll just make sure fans don’t recognise us and we’ll do it on a free day. It doesn’t have to happen right this month or whatever. You don’t have to freak out, we’ve thought this over a countless number of times.” Ji Yong said, calming her down by putting a hand on her back. She looked at him and his smile reassured her it was all fine. She smiled back a little.

“Are you sure?” she then asked. He nodded.

“I’m absolutely positive. We’ll make it the least risky as possible and we’ll do it at a time when we’re free, so that it will bother no one.” She smiled wider now, hugging him shortly again.

“Thank you all so much for these gifts. You’ve all accepted me and my weird story so calmly and you’ve all been so nice to me..” she said as she let go again. She pressed the scarf she was still holding to her face and smiled. “It’s hard to imagine it hasn’t even been a year yet since that first day. It feels like I’ve known you all for years now, like I’ve never not known you.” She saw them all smiling as well and felt truly happy.

“Let’s celebrate with some cake!” she suddenly exclaimed after about a minute of simply standing there. She walked to the kitchen, followed by the surprised five guys.

“Cake? Which cake?” Daesung asked.

“My birthday cake of course, Daedae.” she replied, chuckling. When she entered the kitchen, she immediately went to open the fridge and got out a nice chocolate cake with birthday decorations and everything on it. When she put it on the table, the five boys eyed it with an astonished look on their faces. She chuckled.

“How did you get it here?” Yong Bae asked surprised.

“I made it. I did have to buy the ingredients, but I just called the store and had them deliver the things here. Then I went to pick them up downstairs without anyone noticing. I’m rather proud of myself, really.” she explained. “I wasn’t able to taste, though, but I hope I did it right. I used to be very good at making cake.” She smiled a little and looked up at them. Their astonished looks were still present on their faces.

“You.. Made a cake?” Ji Yong said, staring at the chocolate cake in disbelief.

“That’s what I said, yes. Let’s not waste a good cake and eat it.”

“Can you eat?”

“Of course not, but you can, and quite a lot for what I’ve seen. I think you’ll manage to finish this cake, right?”

She took a knife and started cutting the cake into pieces in such a way that she had ten in the end. Then she got out some plates and forks, putting one piece of cake on every plate and handing them all one. It was only when she gave the first person a plate, that they seemed to wake up from their shock. Daesung was the first to taste, his expression immediately brightening when he did so.

“It tastes great!” he exclaimed, taking another bite. “You really did a great job.” She smiled proudly, her eyes wandering over the other four boys as well to see their reactions. They all nodded in agreement and praised her baking skills.

“But now we’re eating and you’re just standing there, that’s not fair.” Seungri then said, lowering his fork as if he was going to stop eating. She smiled and shrugged. As she walked to the fridge, she got out the juice for them to be able to drink. After putting that one on the table, she pulled another plate like theirs out of the fridge with a piece of cake on it. Without saying a word, she started eating along with them. They all stared.

“You can eat!” Daesung exclaimed, slightly offended that she had lied before.

“Where does that piece come from? There are still five on the table.” Yong Bae cleverly noticed.

“I can’t eat your world’s food, no, but I can eat my world’s food.” she said. “I just have to imagine it is here and I will be able to eat.” It had been something she hadn’t known yet herself and she had only just tried it out, but luckily it worked. She could just imagine herself eating and she would be, but it was not like it had been in the real world. She didn’t really eat something, she just created that image for them.

They easily finished the cake, praising her a few more times on her great skills and singing her another happy birthday song. Once again she felt how good friends they were to her, even though she was just a ghost that had more or less invaded their private life. They had accepted her from the start, giving her a home and a group of friends she did not want to lose ever again. They had made her life brighter, even though she had to die first to achieve that.

After a while of simply chatting and sitting around the kitchen table, she decided to go and visit her parents as well for her birthday. It was a rather short visit, since they were both at work and couldn’t say much, but she told them a little about her life with the boys and about her birthday itself. Her parents were very happy to hear how good the boys were for her and how much fun she was having. They were glad to hear she was doing fine.

Seeing her parents had also given her the new idea of e-mailing them. That was something she could do on the boys’ laptop when they were asleep and then she could talk about her life a little more often with her parents. That idea was enthusiastically agreed with by both of her parents, who both also did warn her not to show any signs of life so that her friends wouldn’t suddenly see her online and freak out.

The rest of the day passed without any more notable events happening. Instead of going to bed with Ji Yong like she had done for the past months, she spend the night in the living room, thinking over the events of the day and mainly the fact that she had not glowed when Top had hugged her, even though the warm feeling that normally accompanied it had been there. The broken strings also came to her mind, and she worried about it.

When morning came she still hadn’t figured out anything, but she decided to push it aside and help the boys during the busy times. So the days went by again. Ji Yong’s birthday was celebrated as well. He got a huge surprise party from the company, co-organized by the other four boys of course, and lots of presents. She wanted to give him something as well and keep it a little original at the same time. In the end she decided to listen to him for a day.

So the next day he made her pinch all kinds of people that couldn’t see her, made her run around on the streets singing the most stupid song he could come up with, made her hug the other boys at random moments and much more of those things. At the end of the day, he even made her sing a serenade. Because she couldn’t sing at all, she decided to overdo it and sing extremely bad, just to bug him. She also didn’t sing the serenade to him, but to his T-shirt.

It ended in all five of them covering their ears and laughing uncontrollably while she made a grand finale by sinking down on her knees in front of him, grabbing the edge of his T-shirt and bowing her head in so called sadness as she sung the last notes. She waited a few seconds, before starting to fake-cry as she let go of his T-shirt and crawled away. She didn’t even make four meters before collapsing on the ground, uncontrollably laughing.

When they finally were able to breathe normally again without bursting out in laughter every two seconds, the boys politely applauded for her performance. She bowed, before sitting down on the couch next to Ji Yong. He put an arm around her, so she let her arm slip around his waist as well, only to pinch his side moments later. He made a surprised noise, jerking away from her and staring at her in shock.

“You are so going to pay for making me sing, you know.” she said, grinning as she did so.
“How are you going to make me pay then?” he brutally replied. She smirked, looking at Top a moment before eyeing Ji Yong again.

“One of you two still owes me a wish, I might just use it on you.” The self-assured expression immediately disappeared from his face and she chuckled.

“That’s right..” Seungri then brought into the conversation. “..you still didn’t make a wish or told us where you want to go.”

“I’m still thinking about it. I’ll let you know in time when I have decided.” she said, thereby disregarding the subject.

August passed, followed by September and October. She and Top started talking a bit again and were even able to be with just the two of them without it getting awkward. She didn’t hesitate to hug him anymore, nor did he seem as distant towards her as he had been, but the glowing did not come back. And even though her relation with Top became closer again, her relation with Ji Yong was even more close.

It was only months later that she would use her free wish. On a dark day at the beginning of November, she finally made the decision. She would ask for the wish she had wanted to have fulfilled from the moment on that she had gotten the choice. For that reason, she gathered all her courage as she sat on the edge of Ji Yong’s bed, waiting for him to come back from the bathroom like every other day.

When he entered, he wanted to get in bed, but she stopped him and motioned him to sit down next to her first. He seemed a little surprised by that request, but did it anyway. There was an awkward silence after that. He waited for her to say what was bothering her and she was trying to think of what to say in her head before actually saying it out loud to him. After a few minutes she took a deep breath and looked up at him.

“I decided.. About my birthday presents. I want you to grant me my wish and Top to go somewhere with me.” she said. Ji Yong smiled and nodded. She couldn’t help but to smile back, even though her nerves were killing her.

“So what’s your wish?” he asked, encouraging her that way to say it. She closed her eyes a moment, before looking at him and simply getting it out.

“I want you to kiss me.”

The silence was almost deafening. It seemed like nothing in the house moved after her words. Ji Yong’s face seemed to lose some of its colour and he looked at her with an expression that showed his obvious uncomfortable feeling. She clasped her hands and took another deep breath so she could explain her wish to him. Before she was able to talk, however, Ji Yong started talking with a very soft voice.

“I don’t.. Why do you wish for that?” He seemed to be totally lost, trying to understand her reasoning.

“I don’t know what has been going on in the past year, but during the recent months I started loving you. Yet I also love Top and he still is the other half of my soul. Only.. The closer I got with you, the more I lost my bond with him. I felt strings holding me to him break. When I first spend the night with you, when I sat on your lap at the breakfast table the next day, when I first comforted you and so on.

I seem to love both of you now, but I don’t know in what way or who I love more. I also don’t know what it meant for those strings to break. I’m confused about this whole situation, but the one person that does know more about it, can’t tell me. I ask you to kiss me so that I can at least determine my own feelings right, so that I will know if what I feel for you is true or just my imagination. I do not know what is real and what isn’t anymore.”

She almost started crying, but held it back, telling herself to be strong so Ji Yong would grant her wish instead of wanting to comfort her and have her think it over again, because she had thought it over so many times already and the only option to end her confusion seemed to be exactly what she had just said. If his kiss made her feel what Top’s kiss had made her feel so many months ago, then she loved him more. If not, then she would have to talk things through with Top.

“K’Ae.” Ji Yong said worried, putting a hand on her shoulder. She already saw the rejection coming, but looked up at him anyway. “I never thought of you that way. I mean, I’m sure that if I would look at you like someone to love, I would fall in love, but to me you always belonged to Top. The way you look at him, the way you seem to come home whenever he hugs you. The way you glow.. I honestly don’t think you can love anyone more than you love him.

But, if you doubt that yourself and you really want this to prove it, then I will do as you wish. I just hope you know what you’re doing. If being close with me made the bond between you and Top less strong, then kissing me might fully break it and I don’t know what will happen then. Are you really positive that that person who knows what’s going on cannot explain all this to you? Are you sure you want me to kiss you?”

She thought about his words, taking all of these things into accord. There was a silence that lasted quite a while, but in the end she nodded. This seemed to be the only way for her to find out the truth. She nodded again, a little more sure of herself and looked Ji Yong right in his eyes. She put her hand on his, softly squeezing it.

“I am sure, but only if you agree. I don’t want you to do this against your will.” she whispered.

He smiled a little, but didn’t reply. Instead, he softly stroked her cheek with his fingers, before cupping her face with his hands. She felt the tension in her build and a tickling feeling appeared in her stomach. As Ji Yong looked her straight in the eye, the tickling became more intense. His face closed in on hers and she could seemingly already feel his lips on hers. She closed her eyes, the tension building in her body.

Suddenly, time seemed to freeze. In the darkness of having her eyes closed, a glowing thread became visible. She followed it with her eyes, realizing it was one of the strings keeping her tied to Top. Instinctively she knew this was the last string. The only thing holding their ruptured soul together. The tickling she had felt became more intense, more painful, until her body seemed to burn. It felt the same as she had felt when Ji Yong had kissed her cheek the first time.

In a desperate action, she pulled her head free of his grip, opening her eyes in shock and gasping for air because of the pain. Ji Yong immediately pulled his head back. His lips had been only inches away from her face. When she turned to him, he smiled and softly stroked her hair. She let her head rest against his hand, closing her eyes again as she slowly breathed in and out. Finally she calmed down. She opened her eyes to look at him.

“I told you.” he softly said, showing a sympathetic smile. “Go talk to that one you said knows more about this all and make him tell you what he knows. It is unfair not to tell you things you should know.” She slowly nodded, smiling a little because Ji Yong kept being so kind and so totally himself. He leaned towards her to give her a kiss on her forehead. She gave him another hug, before gathering her thoughts and moving to Kevin again.