[FIC] Not Here

Title: Not Here
Characters: Kibum, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 665
Summary: She knows exactly where his place is.
A/N: No. Comment. (Except that I suck at giving the proper genre, because I have no idea what kind of story this is..)

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One lonely, sparkling tear runs down my cheek. Before the watery drop reaches my chin, however, it is caught by a soft finger that wipes it off my face. The finger is not a part of my body, so it’s probably someone else’s. How smart of me to realize that. After mentally giving myself a sarcastic look, I glance up at the person who the finger -a thumb to be more exact- belongs to.

Immediately I get lost in two beautiful, brown eyes. When I get over the surprise a few moments later, I again lose myself in the wonderful smile that appears on the face in front of me. It’s not really possible to call it a smile, actually.. It’s more like pulling up one corner of your mouth, with a questioning expression to accompany it. I can’t help but to smile back.

I remain silent, pondering about the fact that he’s able to make me smile time and time again by simply raising one corner of his mouth. It also surprises me that I can lose myself time after time in every little detail about him. Even when he simply blinks his eyes, I find myself thinking about how beautiful he is for the rest of the day.

Cautiously, I lower my head until it rests against his shoulder, after which I close my eyes. He puts his arm around me and presses a kiss on my hair, so soft that it almost looks like he’s afraid to hurt me. Out of a sudden urge, I put my arms around his middle, hide my face against his shoulder and squeeze my eyes shut, just not to give in to the tears. It seems like he notices my effort to stop the tears from coming, however.

“Don’t cry.” he whispers to me. His voice is so soft and fragile that I find myself wanting to comfort him, while I’m the one who actually has been crying and who still feels the urge to cry more. Yet even now I don’t say a word and silently sit next to him.

“I have to go.” he suddenly whispers.

What? Oh wait.. Right.. Concert.. Help.. He lets go of me and carefully crawls off the bed. No.. Don’t go.. Mhm. Maybe it helps for him to understand me when I talk.

“Don’t go.” I whisper softly.

He takes my hand in his and puts his other hand on my cheek.

“I’m sorry, but I have no choice.”

I have known a long time already that he would say those words, but they still hurt. He never has a choice. Ever since he signed the contract, his choices were taken away from him. He’s never there for me anymore and it’s not even his fault.

“You have to stay.”

“I can’t and you know it.”

“You still have to stay.”

“You feel better.”

“I don’t.”

“But you don’t cry anymore..”

“So what?”

“So you feel better.”

“Are you really this stupid? It’s not because I stopped crying that all problems are solved! You should know that.” I turn away from him. “But fine, go. Go and satisfy those people. Turn the concert hall upside down once again. I don’t care anymore.”

A sigh fills the silence and I can hear him sit back down on the bed.

“I’ll stay.” he gives in, putting a hand on my shoulder. I immediately shrug it off again.

“No. Just go now.”

He leaves. I hear him walk towards the door, open it and close it behind him. Now he’s really gone. He left me behind with the pain still inside of me. That’s where the pain will always be, because what hurts me most, I cannot tell him. It’s something that’s only my burden to bear. Only my pain. My sadness. My loneliness. My love for him. For Kibum. Just because of who he is. Just because of what he does. Just because he knows where his priorities are..

Not here.