Characters: Kibum, OC, SJ
Rating: PG
Chaptercount: 36/36
Summary: Soojin meets a guy who turns her world upside down but then there's a few dozen others as well.
A/N: This is one of my most beloved novels (not that I wrote THAT many, but still) and I think I will forever cherish the characters in this. This story also helped me shape my view on the different members and is the first of few stories in which I used first person.
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It was on the day that I got my results, not having heard from or seen Kibum in a whole month, that I decided I would move on - or maybe move out was a better way of saying it. I asked Yumiko to ask her parents if they knew some places where I could rent a nice place that was not too expensive in order for me to go live in Japan and finish my last year of studies there. She frowned at my question, admitting that she had no intention of going back to Japan yet. She had decided to finish her shool in Korea and had thereby finally chosen to really stick with Sungmin, because Zhou Mi was going back to China anyway.
Although the news was not enjoyable, it was great to know she had finally picked her favourite and that she had some kind of future plan. I, however, did not have the same luxury, so I pleaded her to ask her parents anyway. She agreed of course, promising me to call her mother. I told my plans to my parents only after that and, when Yumiko and her mother managed to find me a little studio for rent, to my friends as well.
The reactions were shocked. There were people asking me why I was leaving, others wanting to know if I got sick of them, and a very observant Hyukjae wondering if running away from everything was my way of coping with a heartbreak. I had to admit it probably was, because obviously retreating from all social life to game the time away was one of the most clear examples of running away. He sighed, patted my back, then turned to introduce me to Xim Aera; Donghae’s girlfriend.
Aera was a pretty girl. Not that you’d see everyone gawking at her because of her looks, but she was just generally pretty. She greeted me with a smile, a bow and another smile, and her friendly face was the reason it took me twenty minutes to figure out why she looked so familiar. She was a girl from Zhou Mi’s class, the one who had walked along with him to the soccer field the first time I was there too; and with that the one who had glared at me back then.
It didn’t take a genius to figure out that she had probably sported a crush on Donghae since before that day already and had just been slightly jealous of me, not at all having something against me personally, as I thought at the time. On our second meeting, she was all smiles and friendly friendliness, treating me like one would treat a friend of her boyfriend. I was happy for her and Donghae, really, and when I mentioned to Hyukjae that at least someone’s love story had a happy end, he snorted amused.
Since my friends realized there was no keeping me in Korea – they all had to agree too that Japan was a good opportunity – they decided to have a different go at things; throwing me a goodbye party. Hangeng and Heechul rented the place where it would happen and everyone I knew and even some I didn’t know came, bringing girlfriends, sisters and all that along. The party was held the evening before my departure, I went to Japan soon after deciding I would so that I’d have the time to adjust to the new country before going to school again.
I arrived there at half past nine in the evening, being picked up by Heechul who asked if he could get me drunk that day since he wouldn’t be around to see me graduate. I agreed just because I wanted to have fun and forget about boundaries for once in my life. So the first drink they put in front of me was something sticky, sweet and filled with alcohol. I drank it down in one go, causing the few people around me to frown in surprise. After that it was dance time. I lost all my restraints as I walked onto the dance floor, and as people kept passing me drinks, I lost all my conscious thinking as well.
To be honest, I remember nothing from that evening. Somewhere in the middle of dancing my memories end and there is nothing than a big black hole, except for flashes of things that I recreated with what they told me. All I know is what others told me later. I might have puked on someone’s nicest suit or dress but I wouldn’t know anymore because they didn’t tell me. What they DID tell me wasn’t all that much better, however.
Apparently I drank and danced the night away until somewhere around one. That was when a certain Kim Kibum decided to appear at the party too. He had had a few glasses of alcohol himself before coming, and therefore greeted our friends with a wide smile as he made his way to me and took hold of my hand. He pulled me outside along with him, making me stumble after him. In Heechul’s words: I smiled at him like the drunk retard I was as I followed him outside and almost crashed into him when he stopped to close the door behind us.
What happened between us outside is only known to me because Zhou Mi was concerned - he had after all seen the amount of alcohol Kibum had drunk - and decided to follow us a little to see where Kibum planned on taking me. Well, wherever that was, we didn’t get there, because the moment my boyfriend-or-maybe-not-anymore turned to look at me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him plain on the mouth, to which he responded by immediately slipping his arms around my middle and kissing back. That was the view Zhou Mi got when he opened the door, so he decided to just close it again and leave us alone.
We entered the party again mere minutes later, sticking close for the rest of the time we were there, or so Yumiko let me know the next day. I danced with him and we sat together talking too, although everyone I asked - namely Hangeng, Heechul, Zhou Mi and Yumiko - all said that judging from how drunk I was and how distracted by staring at me he seemed, our conversation probably didn’t hold many important topics.
At the end of the party - I left at four, having five more hours left to sleep that way - Kibum was the one guiding me out. I waved at everyone, gave hugs to people and left. Apparently we got home safely, because the first thing I remember from the next day is waking up safe and sound to my alarm clock with a major headache and no one else in the room. I remembered nothing at that moment and my headache was way too prominent to really care, so I decided to care about possible happened events later and took a shower first, before gathering my packed bags.
My parents had said goodbye to me the previous day before I went to the party, since they both had to get up early and leave for work on the day of my flight, and because Yumiko stayed over at Sungmin’s place - the guy lived in a little studio in the center of the city - I was home alone. I enjoyed it, though, as I took my time to shower and stuff something in my mouth for breakfast. After that, I got out with my bags to catch a bus to the airport.
When I reached it, a bunch of my friends were there again to my surprise, looking sleepy and groggy and vowing to go back to bed the moment they got home. When I asked why they had gotten up in the first place to say goodbye to me once again, the reply came from Ryeowook, one of the few people who had stayed sober, as he sent me a smile. “I just thought it would be nicer saying goodbye when you actually know what I’m saying and don’t tell me I’d make a good male barbie doll.” The comment brought laughter, but I felt my face flush.
“Well you would.” I murmured, after which I hugged him, then moving on to everyone present again. Aside from Ryeowook, the people there were Heechul, Hangeng, Donghae, Hyukjae, Zhou Mi - he had to take his own plane an hour later than me -, Jungsoo, Haerin, Nana, Sungmin and Yumiko. They all hugged me and wished me luck, slowly trickling back home after that. The Chinese twins stayed last, Zhou Mi waiting at the sidelines as I was pulled into another hug by Heechul. He just held me, and held me, and kept holding me, until I was the one to pull back and look at him worriedly. He smiled, but I felt a twinge of pain when I realised his smile lacked something. To me he was a friend and one I’d like to keep for a long time, so it was painful and awkward to be leaving.
“I’ll talk to you online a lot.” I told him with a smile of my own. “I’ll make a blog about my stay in Japan, so that you can tell exactly what goes on in my life to everyone who wants to know how I’m doing.” I smiled at him, then smiled at Hangeng, before turning to my bags. As I picked them up and turned to Zhou Mi, the twins told me goodbye once more and Hangeng demanded to be notified the moment I had arrived safely in my new apartment in Japan. I promised to text him, then really left.
Zhou Mi and I calmly walked on to the check in area, where we let our bags be taken away and got our tickets validated. Since we both still had quite a while before our plane set off, we sat down in a cafeteria together and had something to drink. Zhou Mi took a cup of coffee, but I drank a simple glass of water to soothe my still messed up head. We chatted a bit about random things - what he was going to do once he arrived home and what places I was going to visit once I reached my apartment.
Around an hour after I reached the airport, I got on my plane, turning off my phone just like they asked me to. Somehow I felt a bit sad that even though I was leaving and all his friends knew, Kibum did not even show up once. It was only half a day later, when I was settled in my house, that Yumiko called me to check how I was doing and I found out about all the events from the previous day. Another hour after that conversation, I got a call from Haerin, who told me that according to Jongwoon, Kibum had tried calling me, but my phone had been off. It was then that I realized that he HAD tried to stop me, but had just been that tad bit too late.
For Kibum to keep me from leaving was probably one of the very few things in my life that I had really been hoping for, yet it was exactly the one thing that didn’t work out. Saying that I was devastated was a lie, however. I had made up my mind about going to Japan already anyway and had somehow hardened myself against the idea of not going to see Kibum anymore for a year at least. So when that actually became true, it didn’t crush me as much as it would have done about a month earlier. That was the reason I didn’t call him back and since he didn’t try a second time either, nothing changed about my plans.
That’s how I started a new chapter of my life. Living in a new country, planning to make new friends, do new things and give the events that had happened in the previous year a place in my memories without letting them influence my future too much. Well, of course I couldn’t just leave everything behind, because I got a weekly e-mail from Heechul, inquiring after my wellbeing and a monthly call from him and Hangeng to
All in all, I never regretted my decision to leave for Japan to finish my school there.
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