[FIC] It's Complicated

Title: It's Complicated
Characters: Kibum, OC, SJ
Rating: PG
Chaptercount: 33/36
Summary: Soojin meets a guy who turns her world upside down but then there's a few dozen others as well.
A/N: This is one of my most beloved novels (not that I wrote THAT many, but still) and I think I will forever cherish the characters in this. This story also helped me shape my view on the different members and is the first of few stories in which I used first person.

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After that, my life slowly turned back into the dull, gray every day the same thing that it had been before that school year. There was nothing pulling me out of my house anymore. Yumiko tried a few times, but gave up soon when she realised it was no good. My mother only sighed and had meanwhile resigned to the fact that I had gone back to be an all-day-long gamer, because she knew she wouldn’t be able to change my mind. I doubted things would become exciting again anytime soon, because I did not want to take the risk of losing it all again like I did then.

I knew that it was all my own fault, but that didn’t make it less painful. It had only been a month that I really was together with Kibum, but I had already gotten so used to having him being there for me, taking care of me, that it was hard to imagine life without him again. So I buried myself in hours of game-playing, studying and doing exams. It was difficult for me to concentrate, but I tried my best, because the last thing I wanted was doing my exams over or being stuck in that school for one year longer than I had to. Everything reminded me of him there, and my own betrayal hurt me more every day.

So as time passed and exams went by, I had started to occasionally find myself wondering what I would do after I finished my studies the next year. There was no one really caring about me anymore, so I simply did as I thought was best and struggled through the days. But of course I should have known that a school year spent on making friends and spending a lot of time with them couldn’t just be forgotten like that. Especially not when one of those friends is named Kim Heechul.. And that was exactly the one who was knocking on my bedroom door like crazy two weeks after everything ended for me.

“Snipe, open up this door or I’ll kick it in.” he told me and I sighed deeply, but got up from my chair anyway after closing my game. I put my hand on the door handle, taking a deep breath before opening the door. Immediately there was a hand grabbing mine and Heechul’s face was so close to mine that I instinctively backed away from it.

“And what do you think you have been doing, young lady?” he lectured me, poking his finger against my chest. “Hiding away from me and ignoring my calls like I’m just some kind of person you met once in a bar and hope to never see again because he was boring the hell out of you with his stupid talks about how he has been drinking too much too often and throwing up against a wall with friends, constantly interrupting you with that story as if it’s something very interesting and important.”

I stared at him for a while, not really knowing what to say about his ramble of words that reminded me so much of our first meeting, where I told him about those things. It surprised me that he still remembered all that. I felt my breath getting caught in my throat and I had to do my best to not tear up so that I could come up with an answer. Yet before I could reply there suddenly were two arms wrapped tightly around me and a head resting against my own, with a voice talking softly next to my ear.

“I missed you, you know that? You’re a moron to think you can just run away from me. I’m your friend, you shouldn’t even think about leaving me just like that. It’s not because things with Kibum went wrong that you should ignore me as well.” he mumbled to me and I felt my heart skip a beat because of those words, a strange warmth filling up a little of the emptiness inside.

“Maybe not, but you kissed me, Heechul. You were part of the reason why things went wrong with.. With him.” I replied, still unable to speak Kibum’s name out loud.

“That is..just a minor detail. Silly Snipe.” he said, giving my side a little squeeze. I shrieked and jumped away from his touch, but couldn’t stop a smile from forming on my face. He grinned widely seeing that. “This is the face I missed. Now come on, I have some people who’d love to see you.” he exclaimed, taking my hand and dragging me along. I quickly pulled free again.

“Heechul, I don’t want to meet anyone right now, okay. There’s too much been going on with me and I don’t know if I can take seeing them again just yet. Besides, even if I would, I am wearing my pyjamas.” I quickly said, cowering back into my room, towards my desk chair and computer, but he lunged forward and grabbed my wrist again.

“Oh no you don’t. No going back to your computer. But you do have a point. I believe I was supposed to either get you very drunk or wait until you pass your final year of exams before you’d come out in your cute pyjamas with me.” he said, grinning like a happy little kid, before getting serious again. “Don’t worry so much. I’m not planning on making you see everyone again at once. Just two people who are dying to hear from you, because they’ve missed you lately. Why don’t you trust me?”

“You KISSED me.” I stressed the words by giving him a deadly glare, which caused him to sigh.

“Are we back to that? I told you that’s a minor detail. Now come on, let’s get you dressed. Your next exam is tomorrow, so I don’t have all day.” he then said, smiling lightly. And of course that was how it was done.

He picked out a nice outfit for me, nearly forced me to get changed and then dragged me out of the house, calling out to my mother that he was borrowing me for a while. Once outside we walked into Yumiko, whose eyes almost fell out when she saw me getting out of the house while I wasn’t having any school, and Sungmin, who nodded lightly to us, giving me one of his special happy smiles. I could only smile back, realising how long it was since I had actually been around them while fully realising it.

Heechul dragged me further towards his car and basically stomped me inside, on the passenger seat, taking the driver’s seat himself. He started the car and we drove away, leaving behind Yumiko and Sungmin at my house’s door, who were still staring at the car like they had seen a ghost. I couldn’t help but smile, especially over Yumiko’s shocked face. But then we turned around the corner and they were out of my sight. I pointed my eyes on the road, wondering where Heechul was taking me and who he wanted me to meet. Probably Hangeng was one of them, but I had no idea who the second one might be.

My questions went unanswered, however, as Heechul just drove, keeping his eyes on the road and ignoring me completely. I sighed and pushed his shoulder, but still he didn’t react, so I remained silent as well, waiting for us to arrive at wherever he was taking me. We did so about twenty minutes after leaving my house and when Heechul opened the door and I got out of the car, I realised exactly where we were. My feet led me towards the front door of the house in no time and when I pushed the bell, I found myself wondering why I hadn’t thought of going to the place myself.

It took about a minute for the people inside to get to the door, find the keys and then finally open it, but when the person behind the door was revealed, I immediately lunged forward and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head against his chest and closing my eyes tightly. I felt his arms being wrapped around me as well and a soft rumble against my chest made me realise that he was talking to me, but I didn’t understand him since I was pressed against his body too tightly. The tears came up in my eyes and soon I found myself crying my heart out, releasing all the sadness that I had tried to run from for two weeks already.

I faintly realised that I was being picked up by strong arms and carried into the house. I heard voices, but they were not understandable above my own wild breathing as I still cried my heart out. Soon there was a hand stroking my back and a very calm-sounding voice speaking words to me that I didn’t understand anyway. Yet it helped, as my cries slowly died away and I got back to my senses after a while. When I cleaned the tears off my face with my sleeve, someone handed me some tissues and as I looked up, I saw it was Heechul who did so. I then also realised that he was the one who had sat next to me as I was crying.

Mere moments later I found myself with my arms tightly clasped around his neck, on the verge of breaking out into tears again. Yet somehow his presence calmed me down and I sighed as I clean the rest of my face with the tissues handed to me. When I regained my composure, or at least a little of it, I let go of him, sat up and looked at the two people sitting in the couch across from me, giving me worried looks. I tried for a slight smile and immediately got two smiles back.

“It’s been a while.” Seoyeon said softly and I could only nod, because she was right.

“I missed you.” Youngwoon then added and I nodded again, because I missed him too.

“We missed you.” Seoyeon corrected her boyfriend then, swatting his leg as to reprimand him. He gave her one of his happy, boyish grins and she gave him a kiss on his cheek in return. I smiled at this show of their obvious love and happiness, scooting closer towards Heechul, who wrapped his arms around me again. Somehow it comforted me, so I didn’t push him away.

“I missed you too.” I finally mumbled, before the ramble starts. “I’m sorry that I haven’t visited you two more often, I know I should have. I should have helped with the garden shed more often. I bet you finished it without me now, right? What name have you given it? You said you’d give it a nice name that has a happy ring to it. Did you do so?”

“Soosoo..” my cousin interruptted me and I turned to look at him.

“I’m sorry, I was rambling.” I immediately apologised, but both of them smiled softly.

“That’s not it. He wants to say that we named it Soosoo.”Seoyeon then told me, the smile on her face widening a little. “Because it sounds happy and you are usually so full of joy as well. Maybe we’ll name our child Soosoo if it’s a girl.”

“You are getting a baby!?” I exclaimed in surprise, the rest of her words went past me as if she had never said them. My words made them both look at each other and laugh.

“No! Oh dear, no we don’t. I meant if we once should have a daughter.” my cousin-in-law then exclaimed, still laughing. I sighed, before suddenly remembering her other words.

“You named the shed Soosoo? What a terrible name. Couldn’t you have come up with something better?” I then said, adding enough irony to my words. That made us all chuckle a bit.

“Hey, are you saying you don’t like the name I gave you? ” my cousin boomed, jumping up from his couch and raising a finger in threat. I found myself grinning like an idiot at that comment, getting up as well to walk towards him and give him a hug, something that he gladly accepted. Moments later Seoyeon was near us as well, making a group hug out of it. She was a little overenthusiastic, however, and soon after we nearly fell down because we were basically tripping over each other’s feet.

It was like that that my good mood slowly returned to me and a slight smile remained plastered on my face for the rest of the three hours that we spent with my cousin and Seoyeon. After that, Heechul and I took our leave, with a promise to my family that I would visit again soon. A promise I intendd to keep that time. As we got into the car, Heechul asked me if I wanted to accompany him to his home, since Hangeng and Heeyoung had been wanting to see me too. Unable to deny the simple yet heartfelt request, I agreed, and after a short call to my mother to tell her I wouldn’t be home for dinner, we set off towards his house as well.