[FIC] What's in a name: Leeteuk

Title: What's in a name: Leeteuk
Characters: Leeteuk
Rating: G
Wordcount: 529
Summary: Life was always the same.
A/N: I wrote the first drabble (which was Leeteuk's) on the 8th of May and since then have gradually written the others as well. It is one drabble a member. There are no plotlines, this is basically my positive fangirl view on what goes on in their minds I guess, and I just really enjoyed writing these out, although it sometimes was a major battle.

- - - - -

Life was always the same.

Every time he came back from practice, he would go out to train his body and find all kinds of stuff to do until the next point on the schedule came up. In the evening he would host Sukira and get back to practicing. Then, in the early hours of the day, he would drop down on the bed like a half dead person, but sleep would not take him until after he conversed with fans on the internet for another hour.

Even after that, it often did happen that he still would not find sleep. When worries, doubts and useless thoughts took over his mind, he would often be staring at his ceiling for hours longer after closing down his computer and putting aside his phone. It even happened that he didn’t sleep at all in certain nights. The day after such nights, he would be like a zombie throughout every practice, but still he would try to give it his very best. Because he couldn’t give any less than that. No matter what the cost.

There were times when the bags under his eyes were so prominent that even make-up couldn’t hide them. Other times when the fog clouding his minds was so thick he couldn’t even remember what he had done or said less than a minute ago. But the most worrying times were those when he just wanted to give up and leave the world behind. He hated those moments. They made him weak, they made him vulnerable, they made him want to cry even though he couldn’t.

Endless days and nights of work would wear him down completely, but there was one thing that kept him going; the knowledge that others depended on him. When he didn’t do what he was supposed to do, the other members would fail as well. He had a responsibility towards his friends, his dongsaengs. He was the one who was supposed to keep them all going, showing them what great things they could reach when they all stuck together. He had to be the tough one, the one that never showed any sign of wanting to give up. So he took a deep breath and kept going.

Unlike he would have done in his younger years, he never gave up. He never lay down his head and stopped fighting. Taking care of the twelve others for so long had given him a new vision on life. It had made him stronger, made him realise that giving up wasn’t always the best thing to do. Sometimes one had to fight to reach one’s goal, to get people to follow you. He had learned that when the two Chinese members had joined the family. Together, they had stood strong against the crowd and had overcome most of the negative responses.

Knowing there were people beside him, that’s what made him go on. Knowing that, if he should ever fail, there would be at least fourteen pairs of shoulders to cry on, fourteen pairs of arms to hug him, fourteen backs to carry him, fourteen voices to comfort him.. And that’s what made him keep going.