[FIC] What's in a name: Kibum

Title: What's in a name: Kibum
Characters: Kibum
Rating: G
Wordcount: 560
Summary: Keep the faith and don’t let them get you down.
A/N: I wrote the first drabble (which was Leeteuk's) on the 8th of May and since then have gradually written the others as well. It is one drabble a member. There are no plotlines, this is basically my positive fangirl view on what goes on in their minds I guess, and I just really enjoyed writing these out, although it sometimes was a major battle.

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Keep the faith and don’t let them get you down.

It was important for people like him to have that idea in life. When there were decisions to make that others might not like - most especially when there were lots of those others who rise or fell together with those decisions - one couldn’t just hop around carelessly. He had known that when he started in the acting world, he had known that when he debuted as a singer and he had known that when he finally decided to give acting his full attention. He knew there would be people going against his decision, but he also knew that it was the best thing to do. He was not someone to be pushed into a direction that he didn’t feel completely comfortable with just because a horde of others thought it was the best for him to do.

Bearing the consequences was the harder part. Spending all his time with acting meant giving up on the idol life, for a while at least. He could never have imagined how difficult his choice would be. Seeing his friends winning awards and shows without being able to stand by their side was always hard. Only being able to say he was sorry that he couldn’t be there with them, without being able to change that fact was even harder. Yet the company had made it clear; when he focused on acting, he’d have to give up on the group for a while, because the movie bosses wanted all his attention; and when he focused on singing, then acting would be a dream he should forget about, because recordings, practices and promotional shows took most of his time. Getting that news, he was forced to choose.

Unlike many of his fans and other random people seemed to believe, however, he didn’t go over it lightly. He suffered, being unable to stand by his friends’ sides. He got lonely at times and would mostly only be able to call them, maybe hop by once every four months. At times when he was free, often they were not, and the other way around happened as well. Every visit to them made him feel the strong friendship again, but it was always accompanied by another heartbreaking goodbye. The problem was that he couldn’t really take that. He never was one to say goodbye, he rather left silently or didn’t leave at all, but being with his friends made leaving again harder every time. Even he didn’t really know how he managed to keep holding on to his decision.

Maybe there would be a time when they could be together again. He hoped there would be. For his friends, his members, the fourteen people who had supported even his decision to temporarily leave them, were too precious to him. He would never be able to just leave them behind. He would never be able to just let them go. He would forever be a part of Super Junior and he was proud to be one. No matter what decision he had made, no matter what others seemed to think of him, he was convinced that he had acted to his best interest and he would not let anyone tell him differently. As long as those important to him supported him, he didn’t need anyone else’s approval.