[FIC] Four in the morning

Title: Four in the morning
Characters: Hangeng, OC
Rating: G
Wordcount: 1.278
Summary: Sometimes no words are sufficient enough to say what you feel inside.
A/N: A story written quite a while ago again, but one that has a rather special feel for me. I noticed many people seemed to like this one, so I figured it could not be left out from my LJ. So here it is! ^.^

- - - - -

It’s silent. It should be. The clock tells me it’s almost four in the morning, yet I cannot get myself to sleep. I write while forcing my eyes to stay open. I do not want to drift away into this alternate world of dreams just yet. Not without being able to clear my head. Besides, I know that, when I close my eyes, I will suddenly be wide awake again.

The person who has taken over my entire mind is meanwhile sleeping in the bed next to mine. His steady breathing seems to be lulling me into sleep, but I’m fighting the exhaustion that has taken over my body. I need to get him out of my mind first, anyway. It will not do to sleep another night filled with dreams about him.

I want to talk about him, but I can’t. I can’t seem to find the words. I mean, there are like hundreds, no thousands, or even ten thousands of words in my head about him, but they all seem so insufficient. I cannot describe what is really in my head, in my heart. Because how could I describe him to others who have not seen him?

I have no way to capture in words the exact feeling I get when he smiles or how his smile can light up a whole day. It is impossible to express in words the lively sparkle in his eyes when he talks about something he loves. I cannot begin to tell you how the almost unnoticeable squinting of his eyes when he laughs can make me melt.

And that’s just the outside. Even though it is already hard to make someone understand about his looks, his personality is even more impossible to describe. Because what words would be good enough to use for something as pure and caring as him? A personality that is a million times more pretty than any outside feature could ever be.

That is mostly what makes him this irresistible to me. There are so many guys with good looks. If you scan the world population, you will probably find that at least two boys out of three will be good-looking. Sadly enough, looks come in a package deal together with personality and if you scan that same world population again, you’ll find that only one out of ten boys is left and that half of those are gay.

Heh.. Silly how I can be captivated by him even after all these years. I’ve known him for what? Ten years now? Since we were young I have been by his side. I’ve seen him grow up from a little boy to a man, growing together with him, even though he spent the last seven years of that journey in Korea.

Yet now he’s back and somehow I’m the first person he came to after visiting his parents. Somehow I’m the one he chose to spend the first night back in China with. Funny how that makes me feel so warm, so happy, so..unwilling to sleep. I want to turn around and look at him, stare at him for the rest of the night so that tomorrow, when he leaves again, I will have the picture of him burned into my memory.

How sad is it that he has to go again already tomorrow morning? He will be up in no time and I will be left behind alone like every other ti--

When something touched her shoulder, she felt fear jolting through her body and she gasped for air in surprise. She pushed the paper from her bed and struggled to get up in her attempt to get be able to look behind her as fast as she could. Two amazingly captivating eyes caught hers and caused her to sigh deeply in relief when she recognized them.

“Oh, it’s you.” she said, relaxing her tensed muscles and putting the pen on her night table. “I’m sorry if I woke you up.” She brushed her hair behind her ears in a futile attempt to stop the trembling of her hands, but was surprised again as he gently took them in his.

“No, it’s okay, you didn’t wake me, I woke up by myself.” he replied. “But why are you still up? It’s four in the morning. Is something wrong?” His words made her feel guilty, even though she didn’t know why. He was just asking a question, wasn’t he? In the back of her mind she thanked the Gods that the paper she had been writing on, now lay somewhere under the bed, unnoticed by him.

“I-I’m fine.” she said, silently cursing the fact that she stuttered now, out of all times. Then, without really realizing it, she blurted out more words. “I missed you so much, Geng. You don’t know how happy I was to hear you on the phone and then you even came by. It was so hard for me to hear about your troubles in Korea without being able to help you. After your debut, I even sent that Heechul person a mail that if he dared to let anything happen to you, I would personally find and kill him. And now you’re here, but you’ll be gone again tomorrow. Where does that l-”

He cut off her words by smiling. All the words that were supposed to come out after that, simply disappeared from her mind as she looked at his smile, then let her eyes wander upwards to meet his gaze, before sighing. He sat down on the edge of her bed and opened his arms a little. She gladly moved closer to let him hug her. When she felt his warmth surround her, she was finally able to fully relax.

“You still talk way too much, Da Xia.” he said. “I guess some things never change.” His soft chuckle made a smile appear on her face as well. “I missed you too and I thought about you a lot. I can’t believe you actually threatened Heechul and got away with it, but now I know at least why he would always frown at the very mention of your name. If I could, I would stay here another day, or a whole year, but we both know it’s not up to me. Staying up late tiring yourself won’t change that. You should really sleep now.”

She sighed again, but knew he was right. A little sad, she pulled out of his embrace and lay down on her bed, looking up at him as she did. He smiled and leaned a little closer to give her a kiss on her forehead. He caressed her cheek with his fingers for a moment. As she looked at him, she already felt her eyes close and soon she was taken to the land of dreams.

She never knew how Hangeng got up from the bed only to crouch down and take the paper out from under the bed to read it. When he finished, he took the pen and added some words to what was already written on the paper. He then carefully folded it and put it on her night table, together with the pen.

Only when waking up would she notice that he had slid under the blanket next to her and put his arms around her. Only after spending over four hours in his arms, would she notice the smile on his face. Only when he was long gone would she pick up the paper again to find the words he had secretly written to her.

No matter where I am, you’re in my heart, therefore, you will never be alone.